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Last year, I thought I had lupus. Has that happened to you yet? I was on the bus, and there was an ad-- "Chances are, somebody on the bus has lupus." I look around, I'm the only one on the bus.	저는 작년에 낭창에 걸린 줄 알았는데, 그런 적 있어요? 버스에 이런 광고가 있더라고요 '승객 중엔 낭창 걸린 사람이 있을 수 있습니다' 그때 버스엔 저밖에 없었죠!
Two nights in a row of not sleeping. Frantic, nervous energy. I get bored of the TV. I shut it off. I put on music. I shut that off. I go back to TV, lie down for 10 minutes. I get up. You know, it's nuts. I do some writing, and I'm relaxed.	이틀간 잠을 못 잤어요 긴장하고 흥분해서요 재미없어서 끄고 음악 듣다가 다시 TV 켜고 누웠다가 다시 일어나서 글을 썼더니 안정되더라고요
I'm single... by choice. Not my choice. Apparently, the women had a meeting behind my back. I got blacklisted or something. No. Thank you for asking, though. I appreciate that.	싱글을 선택했습니다 제 선택은 아니지만요 여자들이 저를 블랙리스트에 올렸나 봐요 아뇨, 하지만 물어봐 줘서 고마워요
Twice in two weeks, and I've never, ever had that before. People think they look so cool on their cellphones, don't they? Everybody's so cool, especially the people still talking on the first cellphones ever made.	2주에 두 번 들었는데 진짜 그런 말 처음이에요 사람들은 휴대폰을 보고 있으면 되게 멋진 줄 알죠 특히 세계 최초의 휴대폰을 들고 있는 사람들요
""Oh, yeah. I work on Wall Street. Yeah." What's that? "Excuse me, excuse me." Thank you, everybody. Good night, everybody. God bless you.	'그래, 나 월스트리트에서 일해' '뭐라고?' '실례합니다, 실례해요' 감사합니다, 여러분 안녕히 계세요, 여러분 복 받으세요
I walked offstage and went like this to the Montreal people 'cause they gave me a wink and the thumbs-up. Hi, Mom. It's your son. Good. I was just officially told I got it.	내려오면서 몬트리올 사람들에게 이렇게 했죠 윙크하고 엄지를 올려줬으니까요 아들이에요, 엄마 네, 합격 통보를 받았어요
Yeah, so... Yes, you can tell people, you can book airline tickets, you can do whatever you want. I'm going to Montreal. I got up there and said one-- I go, "I'm single by choice." I know. Bunch of animals. Bunch of animals.	네, 그래서... 사람들한테 얘기하고 항공권도 예약하고 맘대로 하세요 저는 몬트리올로 가요 '싱글을 선택했다'고 했더니 맞아요, 짐승이 따로 없죠
All right. Bye-bye. Love you too. Running out of people to call. Everybody's away. I can never be happy. I'm unhappy again, everybody. Oh, God. Somebody is gonna have to marry me.	그럼 끊어요 저도 사랑해요 전화 거의 다 돌렸어요 다들 바빠요 행복할 수가 없다니까! 또 불행하잖아요! 맙소사 결혼할까 봐요
She's out there right now, enjoying life, not realizing the rest of it's with me. Hey, honey? I hope you're having fun now 'cause it's all coming to an end. I was happy for, what, four minutes?	지금 이 순간에도 잘 놀고 있겠죠 저와 살아야 할 줄도 모르고 여보 지금 잘 놀아둬 다신 못 그럴 테니까 4분 동안 행복했어요
I made 55 phone calls in four minutes... and now I'm miserable again. I never felt pain until I started doing comedy. They're done. Shit. What about Caroline's? Think they're still working?	4분 동안 전화 55통 돌리고 나니 이젠 다시 우울해요 코미디를 시작하기 전엔 고통스럽지 않았어요 끝났어요, 젠장 '캐롤라인스'는 아직 영업할까요?
Yeah, is the show still working? No, actually, the show is almost over. Right. Can I still get on? These comedians, they always complain-- ""I can't go up now." "I can't follow this." How bizarre is this evening now?	아직 영업하나요? 아뇨, 쇼는 거의 끝났어요 그래도 하면 안 될까요? 코미디언들은 늘 불평해요 '지금은 못 나가요' '이건 따를 수 없어요' 오늘 저녁 참 이상하죠?
You thought it was pretty bizarre? This guy's dancing around with a G-string on and wigs. And it was fine. What is this urge to get information we already have?	좀 이상하지 않았어요? 남자가 끈 팬티 입고 가발 쓰고 춤췄어요 근데 괜찮았어요 이미 아는 정보를 얻으려는 욕구는 뭘까요?
Whenever I'm in a car and I drive by a mirrored office building, I look in the reflection to see if I'm in the car. This is information I already have.	운전할 땐 건물 유리창에 비치는 모습을 보면서 자기가 차에 타고 있는지 확인해요 이미 알고 있는 정보거든요
What am I looking for? Why am I checking? What would I do if I looked and I saw that there was a small Korean woman driving my car? I don't know what I would do then.	대체 뭘 보고 뭘 확인하려는 걸까요? 유리에 비치는 차 속에 키 작은 한국 여성이 있으면 어쩌려고요? 그럼 대체 어쩌죠?
I would have to stop the car... get out, go up to the reflection... and if it was still a small Korean woman, go, "All right. I stand corrected.	차를 세우고 나와요 다가가서 다시 봐도 역시 작은 한국 여성이 보이면 오류를 정정해야죠
Apparently, I am a small Korean woman. Who wants a manicure? Thank you very much. Those people, you know, they came here to see Angel Salazar.	그러면 제가 키 작은 한국 여성이니까요 손톱 관리받으실 분? 감사합니다 이 사람들은 앙헬 살라자르를 보러 왔어요
It's late, tired, finished. If something is good, it's good. Here we go. Thank God. I'm gonna meet with the guy who's gonna change my life.	늦었고 지쳤고 끝났어요 좋은 게 좋은 거죠 왔네요 다행이에요 제 인생을 바꿔줄 남자를 만나러 갑니다
George Shapiro. You don't expect to ever meet George Shapiro, You don't expect to be taken out to dinner by George Shapiro. You don't expect George Shapiro to be interested in you.	조지 셔피로요 조지 셔피로는 아무나 만나고 아무나 함께 저녁 식사하고 아무에게나 관심 두는 사람이 아니에요
So, we're gonna meet Orny. And he seems to have done that. You know, he did Seinfeld. Cool. But was it luck? Who knows, you know? You know, lightning's got to strike twice in this business for you to be a legend.	오니를 만나러 가요 오니가 그러는 것 같아요 사인펠드와도 일했어요 멋지죠 운이었을지도 모르지만요 이 업계 전설이 되려면 번개를 2번은 맞아야 하니까요
I mean, he's already a legend, but, to be, you know... Here we are. Midtown! This is where it all happens. Showtime! I don't know what he's looking for.	이미 전설이지만 무슨 말인지 아시잖아요 모든 사건의 중심인 미드타운에 도착했습니다 쇼 타임! 뭘 원하는진 모르겠어요
You know, he's probably meeting several people. I want George to walk up to me and go... "Let's dance." I see it on the left. See that sign that says "Bice"?	여러 명 만날지도 몰라요 조지가 이런 말을 했으면 좋겠어요 '함께 춤춥시다' 왼쪽에 '비체' 보이죠?
That's me. "...on expense accounts." Bring it on. We had a very nice, long dinner, and the upswing is George has offered to manage me. We went over everything, our philosophies... I had all sorts of concerns, and I voiced them differently.	'아름다운 이'는 저고 얼른 시작해요 저녁은 아주 좋았고 오랜 시간을 보냈어요 조지를 제 매니저로 모시는 성과를 이뤘죠 진정성이나 철학에 관해 걱정스러운 게 아주 많았는데 그걸 다르게 표현했어요
Like, I would say... Now, a lot of people would say George Shapiro has too much money. He doesn't care. that he loves comedy and that he sees my integrity and the way I work...	말씀드렸듯이... 조지 셔피로는 돈이 너무 많다고들 해요 상관 안 해요 코미디를 사랑하고 제 일에서 진정성이... 느껴진다고요
OK, this is good. I'm gonna go up. It's good to finish the interview with him. Don't you think? It's awkward. We're gonna go upstairs. I'll be upstairs in room 707.	난 그만 올라갈래요 인터뷰를 마치시죠 안 그래요? 좀 어색해요 우린 올라갈래요 707호실에 있을게요
Really? That's... I want to hear the game. You can't hear? Well, you know, I feel silly. I'm gonna be on the other side. So if you need me, call me. You do the interview.	그래요? 경기 듣고 싶어요 안 들려요? 우스꽝스럽잖아요 다른 쪽에 가 있을게요 제가 필요하면 부르고 인터뷰 계속해요
Do you want to go up-- go up to your room. I don't... I can hear it now. They put it on loud. It's gonna interfere with the audio, but that's OK.	원하시면 방으로 올라가세요 전 괜찮아요 소리를 크게 해서 이젠 들려요 음향에 방해되겠지만 괜찮아요
Man, seven points... ""Hey, we'd like to give Orny a $700,000--" "The Lakers are on!" Listen, a part of me feels like I'm handing George Shapiro a gift.	7점이라니... '오니에게 70만 달러를...' '레이커스 경기다!' 어떻게 보면 제가 조지에게 은혜를 베푸는 느낌이에요
You know, you did your set, you just stand like this, and try and pick up girls on the street. I always say your number of years in comedy is about your maturity level.	공연 마치고 그냥 이렇게 서서 길에서 여자 꼬셔요 코미디계에 종사한 햇수가 성숙도라고 늘 말해요
That's right. Yeah! Fifteen, you're like a 15-year-old-- you're start-- slight bit of maturity. When you eat salad... Yes? Then you go to the bathroom... do you see the salad?	네, 맞아요 15년 했으면 15세로 이제 성숙하기 시작하죠 샐러드 먹고 네 화장실에 가면 샐러드가 보이나요?
I don't think so. No? Twenty years-- you're kind of a grown-up but still completely infantile. Excuse me, did you want any dessert, coffee, or anything?	아닌 것 같아요 그래요? 20년이면 성년 같지만 여전히 완전히 유치해요 실례지만 커피나 디저트 원하세요?
They have great cheesecake. It's amazing. What-- apple pie. You have apple pie? Yeah, I'll have a piece of apple pie. We're out of the apple pie. All right, then you know what? Cancel it.	치즈케이크가 정말 맛있어요 사과 파이 있어요? 사과 파이 한 조각 주세요 사과 파이가 다 떨어졌어요 그럼 그냥 취소해요
I still say you'll regret -not getting that cheesecake. -You love that joke. I do that joke all the time, and Jessica always laughs. -What joke? -That's a good wife.	- 치즈케이크가 맛있다니까요 - 이 농담 좋지? 이 농담 하면 제시카는 늘 웃죠 - 무슨 농담요? - 좋은 아내예요
"Cancel it"? Well, you can't cancel something you can't get. I get it now. It's automatically canceled. I'm saying at first I didn't get it. Bonjour, Montreal.	'취소해요'? 없는 걸 어떻게 취소해요? 이해했어요 자동 취소죠 처음엔 이해 못 했어요 "몬트리올" 봉주르, 몬트리올!
Oh, my God, I died! I had the worst set of my life! That's me. Oh! Every night. "What happened?" Today's Gazette. Read this paragraph to me.	맙소사, 죽고 싶어요! 내 인생 최악의 공연이었어요 제가 매일 밤 저래요 '어떻게 된 거지?' 오늘 신문이에요 이 문단 읽어줘요
Right there. Don't touch it. I'm sorry. "Young stand-up Orny Adams destroys." Is that you? Orny Adams? That's your real name? Get out of town. No mom would name her kid Orny Adams.	여기요, 만지지 말고! 죄송 '젊은 코미디언 오니 애덤스가 평정하다', 당신이에요? 오니 애덤스가 실명이에요? 말도 안 돼요 무슨 엄마가 애를 오니 애덤스라고 해요?
There was a time in America, women-- they didn't even have the right to vote. Then there was a vote to see if they could vote. Well, how the fuck did we lose that?	한때 미국에서 여성은 투표권도 없었어요 투표권을 위한 투표도 했죠 어쩌다 우리가 졌을까요?
I delivered under pressure. I give myself a B-plus. But tomorrow night, same time, OK, Orn? Here I am. ""Stand up and deliver. Comedyfest can be a career-maker." This is the best part right here. "See 'Orny' on page A-10." "'Orny' continued." I think this article was so well-written.	심적 부담이 있었기에 B+를 주겠어요 내일 밤 같은 시간이에요, 오니 여기 나왔어요 '일어나서 전달하라 코미디 축제가 기회다' 여기가 제일 좋아요 'A-10면에서 계속' '오니 기사 계속' 기사 정말 잘 썼어요
They took three rolls of film, and that's the picture they put in there? Is anybody else shocked with the picture? "Comic killed!" You know? I gotta open my own door?	필름 3통분이나 찍어놓고 이런 사진을 실어요? 사진 끔찍하지 않나요? '코미디언 사망'! 내가 직접 열어요?
"The National Post..." right there, baby, that's me. Front page today. Anybody read that? Anybody-- nobody reads this goddamn paper? I make it on the front page of my first national paper and nobody reads it?	'내셔널 포스트' 지의 오늘 1면에 제가 실렸어요 읽으셨나요? 이 신문 아무도 안 봐요? 제가 난생처음으로 1면에 났는데 아무도 안 읽는다고요?
I'm sorry, but this audience sucks. I don't care how you put it. They suck. Because I'm a competent, professional comic that does it every night. It's like they're polite and they laugh, but they're not like...	미안하지만 관객이 형편없어요 어떻게 표현해도 형편없는 건 마찬가지죠 저는 매일 밤 무대에 오르는 유능하고 전문적인 코미디언인데 사람들이 예의상 웃어주지 진짜로 즐기진 않아요
I'm on the front page of your paper. That cracks me up. 00 show! 00-- look at this... Anybody ready to go out? Comedy isn't a daytime thing.	제가 여러분 신문 1면에 났어요 정말 좋아요 7시 쇼라고요! 7시인데 좀 보세요 웃을 맛 나겠어요? 코미디는 낮에 하는 게 아니라고요
I thought I could do more with the paper, and I was proud to be in the paper. And I'm just, you know-- it's too bad nobody reads it. That show gave me a headache.	신문으로 더 웃길 줄 알았어요 자랑스러웠거든요 아무도 안 읽어서 실망이에요 머리가 다 아프네요
It is frustrating. Imagine--imagine how many people are out there to see me tonight. All rise for George Shapiro. The honorable George Shapiro. How's it going? Certainly!	실망스러워요 오늘 밤 저를 보러 온 사람이 몇 명인지 맞혀보세요 존경하는 조지 셔피로 씨입니다 모두 일어나 주십시오 잘 지냈죠?
This is a treasure. They did an exclusive. So I take some meetings... Don't get carried away. -I'm not. -Relax. George, it's easy to say when you got money in the bank.	이거 보물이네요 독점 기사예요 그래서 회의도 좀 했어요 너무 좋아하진 마요 - 안 그래요 - 진정해요 은행 계좌 두둑한 사람에겐 그게 쉽겠죠
Well... I'll give you some money. Here... -You want Canadian or American? -American, please. That's the dumbest question I've ever heard. I'm gonna take it! Absolutely take it.	돈은 내가 좀 줄게요 - 캐나다 달러, 미국 달러? - 당연히 미국이죠 뭐 그런 바보 같은 질문이 다 있어요? 진짜 주시는 거예요? 물론이죠, 받아요
-No. -No, you got to take it. You might have some more fun. You printed up those cards. Those cards are worth at least $1,000 to me to have a card like this that says, "I'm with George."	- 아니에요 - 꼭 받아요 이거로 더 재밌게 놀아요 명함 만들었잖아요 내게 최소한 1천 달러 가치는 있어요 '난 조지와 일해요'라고 쓴 명함이에요
I can't take it. You got to. I love it here so far. Love it. Love it! Are you working this weekend? That's what's most nerve-racking. It's like I've got to live up to this image that not only have I created but the media has created.	꼭 받아요 아직은 아주 좋아요 정말 좋아요 이번 주말에 일해요? 가장 큰 스트레스는 제가 만든 이미지뿐만 아니라 언론이 만든 이미지에도 부합해야 한다는 거죠
As soon as the audience quiets down, I will answer that question. Ooh! Shh! Thank you. -I'm ready, my man. -Go get 'em. ...from New York City. Give him a hand-- Orny Adams.	관중이 좀 조용히 해주시면 그 질문에 답하죠 고마워요 - 준비됐어요 - 건투를 빌어요 뉴욕시에서 온 오니 애덤스에게 박수 부탁해요
Hello, everybody, how you doing? I love Cuban people. They're the most buoyant people in the world. They'll float over on anything. They'd come over on this.	여러분, 안녕하세요? 저는 물에 잘 뜨는 쿠바인들이 참 좋아요 뭐든 타고 물에 뜨니까요 이런 것도요
They'd be like, "Come on, everybody! We're going to America! Come on!" Do you think I'm gonna be a big star, George? They're throwing obstacles in front of you on the way back to the hotel.	'자, 여러분! 미국으로 갑시다' 제가 스타가 될까요, 조지? 호텔로 돌아오는 길에 뭘 막 던지던걸요?
They're tricky. Do you think I'll be a big star? Yes. And I think you'll still be unhappy. You'll still be-- Why you gotta curse me like that? -Only because you told me that. -I'm ready. I'm ready.	네, 까다로워요 제가 스타가 될까요? 네, 그래도 행복하진 않을 거고요 여전히... 왜 악담해요? - 본인이 그랬잖아요 - 준비됐어요
So, now, if I blow it, then I don't get to that next level. Hey, Barry. - How you doing, sir? -Did you see it? - How'd it go tonight? -Did you see it?	이번에 망치면 다음 단계로 못 가요 안녕, 배리? - 안녕하세요? - 봤어요? - 오늘 밤은 어땠어요? - 봤어요?
No, I didn't see you tonight. I'm sorry. -I wish you had. - The best night of his life. I only... He's got a lot of respect for me, that's all. No, I do.	아뇨, 오늘 밤은 못 봤어요 미안해요 - 봐야 했는데 - 최고였어요 저는 그냥... 나를 존경한대요 네, 진짜예요
I had a great roast joke, but I respect you so much that I couldn't do it. -A joke? -I do a roast and... What was the joke? Can I tell you, but all in good fun? Yes.	재밌는 농담이 있었는데 이분을 너무 존경해서 못 했어요 - 농담이라고요? - 로스트 파티에 갔는데... 무슨 농담인데요? 그냥 재미로 들어요 네
I said, "George Shapiro, I respect this guy so much, you know. Represents Seinfeld, now Orny Adams... "What's next? The parrot from Baretta?" It's not bad.	'저는 정말로 조지 셔피로 씨를 존경해요' '사인펠드에 이어 오니 애덤스까지 후원하거든요' '다음엔 버레타의 앵무새 차례일까요?' 그거 괜찮네요
That was soft. Hear what he says about me to my face. Yeah, let's hear. You want to hear the opinion, or should I not say anything? I don't care. No, of course not. This is my opinion of this young man. This is what I tell him all the time.	하지만... 심하지 않아요 내 얼굴에 대고 해봐요 네, 해봐요 제 의견을 말할까요, 말까요? 맘대로 해요, 난 상관없으니까 이 젊은이에 대한 제 의견은 늘 이거예요
All he has to do, all he ever has to do with his career-- if he can do it, is just... And let the act speak for itself onstage. I got Montreal..."	그럴 능력이 된다면 이렇게만 하면 된다고요 입은 다물고 공연으로 보여줘요 '떠들고 다니지 않는다'고요
And where is Steven Wright now? Steven is one of the most prolific, brilliant stand-up comedians of our generation. And where is he now? He won an Academy Award. For what?	스티븐 라이트가 지금 어디 있죠? 스티븐은 우리 세대 최고의 스탠드업 코미디언이에요 지금 어디 있는데요? 아카데미상을 탔죠 뭐로요?
For a film. A short film. I want you to do well. I'm not telling you this because I want you to suck and have people hate you. I know, but I think that I've-- Forget what you think. Forget anything what you think.	영화로요 단편영화죠 오니가 성공하길 바라요 사람들에게 미움받으라는 뜻은 아니에요 그건 알지만 내 생각엔... 당신 생각은 그게 뭐든 잊어요
Just take it. Take what I'm saying. And just relax and take it. -You're a great comic. -That's what we all say. You're doing great. You've worked so fucking hard, and it's coming together.	그냥 내 조언을 받아들여요 진정하고 받아들여요 - 훌륭한 코미디언이에요 - 우리가 하는 말이죠 잘하고 있어요 정말 열심히 일했고 이젠 거의 다 왔어요
So where the act is coming together, take the other side and have it come together. I got to watch this guy. All right, Barry. Thank you. What a cocksucker. He's such a cock-- He doesn't know what the f-- I'm gonna sit there and let that guy talk to me like that?	공연이 성숙해지면서 그 이면의 것도 성숙하도록 해봐요 공연 보러 갈게요 네, 배리 고마워요 고마워요 머저리 자기가 무슨 말 하는지도 모르는 머저리예요 내가 저런 말을 앉아서 듣고만 있었다니!
He didn't say anything bad. He just told you to relax. Which is what I've been telling you. Just relax. Enjoy what's happening-- I'm just gonna start doing what George does, not listen and just smile.	나쁜 말은 안 했어요 진정하라는 말이죠 내가 늘 그랬잖아요 진정하고 즐기라고요 저도 조지처럼 안 듣고 웃기만 할래요
There was nothing he said that I would refute. Big city. It's only been like six months, which isn't long to be attempting a full set. I never thought I'd be this far along.	반박할 수 없는 말만 했어요 큰 도시예요 풀세트를 시도한 지는 이제 겨우 6개월 됐죠 여기까지 올 줄 정말 몰랐어요
You know, it's all about doing the hour where you're the entertainment for the evening. So I booked a date in Washington, D.C. at The lmprov. We're gonna do the first show on a Saturday.	저녁 오락을 담당하려면 1시간은 해야 해요 그래서 워싱턴 DC의 '임프로브'에 예약했죠 토요일 첫 공연을 해요
I've this image in my mind of what a comedian is supposed to be that I'm always trying to live up to and that I always fall short of. This is so exciting.	코미디언의 자세에 관한 저 나름의 개념이 있고 거기 맞추려고 하지만 늘 모자라요 정말 기대돼요
I'm the show for the night. I have to make that evening work for those people. I'll be more obsessed with remembering everything than caring whether I did well or not.	제가 오늘 밤 주인공이거든요 관객의 저녁을 만족스럽게 해줘야 해요 잘했는지 잘 못했는지보단 대사를 외우기에 바빠요
Coffee... Starbucks, lips... men's attention, construction site... beauty contest... the equator... DNA, blind man... nose hair. Hi, John?	커피 스타벅스, 입술 남자들 관심사, 공사 현장 미인대회 적도 DNA, 시각장애인 코털 존?
This is George Shapiro. OK, so we'll come down now. Yeah, OK. We're on our way. Wow, this feels really good. I'll probably do about 50, then I'll come off. I'll go back, maybe do another five or 10.	조지 셔피로예요 지금 내려갈게요 네, 지금 가요 끊어요 와! 예감이 아주 좋아요 50분 하고 내려왔다가 다시 올라가서 5분이나 10분 더 할게요
-OK, thanks. - Nice meeting you. I bought a pair of jeans. I wore them out on a date that night. I knew the date wasn't gonna go anywhere sexually 'cause I was out of chloroform and rags.	- 고마워요 - 만나서 반가웠어요 청바지를 사서 그날 저녁에 데이트했어요 그날은 성관계할 생각이 없었죠 마취제와 솜이 다 떨어졌거든요
And then Barry's just gonna bring you out right there. -OK. - Right from the stage. I'll bring you the water. Why don't I just-- I'll just take this bottle with me.	그런 다음 배리가 소개할 거예요 - 네 - 무대에서요 물은 제가 갖다 드리죠 그냥 내가 갖고 갈게요
- You sure? -That's fine. That's good. OK. Not right now. Later. -After the show? -Yeah. OK, I appreciate it. Thanks. I've been living back in New York since I... finished the little business I was doing in L.A.	- 그러시겠어요? - 네 알겠습니다 이따가요 - 공연 후에요? - 네 네, 감사합니다 LA에서 하던 사업을 접은 후 뉴욕에서 살았어요
I moved out about, uh, 10, 15 years ago. And now I'm back and there's a lot that's changed out on the West side. It's turned into kind of a baby neighborhood-- a lot of families, a lot of little babies.	10, 15년간 나가 있었죠 돌아와 보니 서부가 참 많이 변했어요 아기 천국이 됐어요 가족이 많고 아기가 많죠
There's too many babies. I'm having a... People picking up after their dogs. Why the trends? Why... Do human beings pay these huge, massive... The blind man gets the best woman, in my opinion...	아기가 너무 많아요 사람들이 개를 산책시키고... 왜 이게 유행일까요? 사람들은 대체 왜 그 거금을 내가면서... 시각장애인이 제일 좋은 여자를 얻어요
Got to do what you can do in life. Got to try and have fun. That's why you're here tonight. How stupid did you feel the day after the millennium? Please welcome Mr. Jerry Seinfeld!	뭐든 할 수 있는 걸 해요 인생을 즐겨야죠 그래서 여기도 왔잖아요 2천 년대 이후엔 어때요? 제리 사인펠드 씨입니다!
Everybody give a big hand... How did that go by so quick? I don't know why I feel like this. This is so hard. It just feel, I guess, I kind of got a little ahead of myself, and I think I was expecting more.	큰 박수 부탁해요 휙 지나갔네요 왜 이런 기분인지 모르겠어요 너무 힘들어요 제가 너무 앞서간 것 같아요 기대가 너무 컸나 봐요
I thought the performance was... It just didn't have the confidence I wanted it to have. Have you been onstage for, like, 53 minutes before? -For that length of time straight? -No. Not in two years.	이번 공연에선... 원했던 자신감이 부족했어요 전에도 53분이나 공연한 적 있어요? - 연속으로요 - 지난 2년간은 없었어요
That's the accomplishment tonight. You stumbled a couple of times but... -It's a whole different ball game. -Yeah. It's so fucking hard to get comfortable.	그게 성과예요 두어 번 실수했지만 - 전혀 다른 무대였잖아요 - 네 무대에 익숙해지기가 미치게 힘들어요
It just comes and goes. And then the rest of it I'm, like, in my father's suit with these huge sleeves and legs and I'm going... What's that? Is there weather in East Hampton? There was a chance of rain.	그냥 휙 지나가는데 나머지 시간은 아빠 옷을 입은 것 같았어요 소매와 바지가 너무 커서... 그게 뭐예요? 이스트햄프턴 날씨는요? 비 올지도 몰라요
I would think you have to do it four times a week-- on the weekends, do it. I mean, you know, I can't really go back to that life. I don't want-- I can't go back on the road for seven months a year...	일주일에 4번은 해야 해요 주말에도 하고요 정말이지, 그런 삶으로 되돌아갈 순 없어요 1년에 7개월을 길에서 살 순 없으니까요
You know, I have another life now. Everybody, big round of applause. Why must I overreact? Eh. It's gonna be all right. But I really had a good-- I really had a momentum going.	이젠 다른 삶을 살아요 큰 박수 부탁합니다, 여러분! 과민반응할 필요 없어요 다 잘될 거예요 하지만 탄력이 붙었어요 그래요?
Yeah. I really had some writing momentum and... It's not like it takes it all the way back to square one. Misstep for a couple days then you're back.	대본 쓰는 것도 탄력이 붙고... 그렇다고 처음으로 되돌아간 건 아니죠? 이틀 정도 헤매다가 돌아온 것 같죠?
Yeah. No big deal. Piece of cake. When I was starting out I used to sit down and write a couple times a week. And then one day I was watching these construction workers go back to work and I was watching them kind of trudging down the street...	네, 별거 아니에요 식은 죽 먹기죠 처음엔 일주일에 두어 번 앉아서 대본을 쓰곤 했죠 그러던 어느 날 건설노동자들이 거리를 터벅터벅 걸어서 일터로 돌아가는 모습을 봤어요
And I was... just... "These guys don't want to go back to work after lunch, but they're going." 'Cause that's their job. And I think if they can exhibit that level of dedication for that job, I should be able to do the same.	그걸 보곤... '저들은 점심 먹고 일하기 싫어도 가는구나' '그게 직업이니까' 저들도 그런 일을 저렇게 열심히 하는데 나도 그래야 한다고요
Just trudge your ass in. Is there a point where we're all gonna stop telling each other to wait... for the beep? It's the 21st goddamn century. They don't leave a message until they hear...	터벅터벅 걸어가야 해요 삐 소리를 기다리라는 말이 사라지는 그런 날이 올까요? 빌어먹을 21세기잖아요 이 소리가 날 때까지 기다리죠
Can we all stop asking each other to leave our name and number? No one needs this. Anybody getting messages like, "This is a woman. Goodbye." "I am a lawyer. Contact me immediately." Click.	이름과 연락처를 남기란 말 이젠 안 하면 안 될까요? 아무도 필요 없어요 이런 메시지 받아봤어요? '여자입니다, 안녕히 계세요' '변호사입니다 당장 연락해요', 뚝!
I don't think so! 00 p.m. It's noon in L.A. I've never been so conscious of L.A. time. Since Montreal it's like-- that's all I think about.	없을걸요? 오후 3시입니다 LA는 정오죠 LA 시각이 이렇게 신경 쓰인 건 처음이에요 몬트리올 이후 그 생각만 해요
""What time is it in L.A.?" "Who's talking about me right now? What conversations are going on?" We're doing Letterman. I'm under so much pressure because it's like every second of that routine, every word, has to be perfect.	'LA는 몇 시일까?' '나에 관해 누가 무슨 얘기를 할까?' '레터맨 쇼' 출연이 정말 걱정돼요 공연 매 순간의 모든 단어가 완벽해야 하니까요
George said, "If you don't put him on, we're calling The Tonight Show." I'm gonna go out there and do the best set of my life... I feel censored, but I don't really feel censored. I mean, they're being fair, but they're changing a lot of the wordings of my jokes.	조지는 레터맨이 거부하면 '투나잇 쇼'로 간다고 했어요 거기 출연해서 생애 최고의 공연을 할 거예요 저는 검열당하는 기분이지만 실은 타당한 거죠 그래도 제 개그의 단어를 너무 많이 바꿨어요
Like I can't say I'm getting a tumor from my cellphone. I have to say I'm getting headaches from my cellphone. Here are the jokes I'll do on Letterman.	휴대폰 때문에 '암에 걸린다'고 못 하고 '머리 아프다'고 해야 하는데 이 작은 차이로 리듬이 깨지고 레터맨 쇼에서 할 개그예요
"Yeah, look at me. I work on Wall Street." I'm not compromising now. Now I'm funny 'cause I got a shoe at my ear. I got everything I wanted this year, and I've never been more stressed and miserable.	'그래, 나 월스트리트에서 일해' 이건 용납할 수 없어요 귀에 신발을 대고 있으니까 웃긴 거잖아요 올해는 원하는 걸 다 이뤘는데 태어나서 가장 힘들고 불행해요
I'm sweating now 'cause I'm nervous. You know? -How you doin'? -I haven't even talked to you for a while. I saw Bill Cosby... -three weeks ago. -Really?	긴장해서 땀이 나요 아세요? - 안녕하세요? - 얘기 처음 나누죠? - 3주 전에 코스비를 봤는데 - 진짜요?
Best comedy show I ever saw in my life. -Really? -'Cause I took, like, 15 people. We'd all seen him before. He did two and a half hours. The best shit I've-- -I feel like a fucking fraud. -Well, he's the best.	제 생애 최고의 코미디 쇼였죠 - 진짜요? - 15명 정도 같이 갔는데 전에도 본 공연이었지만 2시간 반이나 공연했는데도요 최고였어요 - 난 사기꾼 같았다니까요 - 코스비는 최고죠
What is this? What am I? I'm good! Who says I'm good? Who says any of us are good? Sixty-three and embracing it... Did he have an opening act? No. So, he took an intermission after, like...	정말 놀랐죠 나도 잘하는데 누가 잘한다고 하죠? 누가 잘한다고 해요? 63세에도 그렇게 해요 오프닝 공연이 있었나요? 아뇨 몇 분 하고 쉬었어요?
No, he didn't take an intermission. Two and a half hours straight? Pow. Pow. Two and a half hours of killer shit. Killer. And it's so much more edgy now and mean.	쉬지 않았어요 2시간 반을 연속으로요? 2시간 반 내내 죽였어요 죽여줬죠 지금이 더 재밌고 예리해요
Ooh, you got to see it. Wow. Boy, I'll have to go. Look at them lined up. Look at that. That's funny. Hi, everybody. Hi. Who's waving at me?	꼭 가서 보세요 진짜 봐야겠네요 줄 선 것 보세요 웃기네요 여러분, 안녕? 누가 손 흔들어요
Oh, no, I don't need screaming people. What happened to my boss? Hi. Come on in. I'm Orny Adams. Hi, I'm Ally. But it's gonna be good. I'm ready.	소리 지르는 건 싫어요 어서 오세요 오니 애덤스입니다 앨리예요 "출연자 대기실" 잘될 거예요, 준비됐어요
Psoriasis... Psoriasis. at the last minute which is fine. We're gonna make the joke work. I'm a joke craftsman now, so... What do I do? Do I pull off the show?	'마른버짐' '마른버짐' 최후의 순간에 통보받았지만 괜찮아요 재밌게 할 거니까요 저는 개그 제조기예요 그럼 어떡해요? 공연을 취소해요?
I mean, l don't want to go on the show and-- and not be me. I'm all positive-- psoriasis. Once I learned how to say the word "psoriasis." I didn't really know what it was.	제가 아닌 다른 사람으로 공연하긴 싫어요 긍정적 마인드예요 '마른버짐' '마른버짐'이란 말도 이번에 처음 배웠어요
I sort of knew it was a skin condition, but I didn't know it was scaly. But you know, obviously you can't say "cancer." so how do you dance around that? So...	피부병이란 건 알았는데 피부가 벗겨지는 건 몰랐죠 어쨌든 '암'이란 말도 쓰면 안 돼요 이걸 어떻게 돌려 말하죠?
So, I'm fine. Fine, fine, fine, fine. Listen, it's their show. I'm a guest. I'm still thrilled to be here and, uh... it's gonna be-- you know, look at me.	괜찮아요, 괜찮아... 저들 쇼에 저는 초대손님일 뿐이고 여전히 기쁘고 결국은... 저를 좀 보세요

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