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NSFW joke time please	Why's it a good idea to have a threesome with 2 Vietnamese girls? It's usually a Nguyen/Nguyen.
Naughty joke	Meta: Reverse Punchline Challenge Hey /r/Jokes, I thought it might be interesting to see just how good we are at actually making jokes from unfunny situations. As such, I thought a good challenge might be to provide a few randomly thought up punchlines that you the subreddit construct the lead-up/joke to. Highest rat...
Tell me your favorite dirty joke please	What kind of sex do boring people have? Banal.
Share something adult please	why couldn't the rabbi eat out during passover? His girlfriend had a yeast infection
How about a risqué joke please?	"S-H-I-T" A business man got on an elevator in a building. When he entered the elevator, there was a blonde already inside and she greeted him by saying, "T-G-I-F" (letters only). He smiled at her and replied, "S-H-I-T" (letters only)." She looked at him, puzzled, and said, "T-G-I-F" again. He acknowledged her remar...
Just a little dirty humor please	Migraine headaches There was this guy who constantly get migraine headaches, he tried all different type of drugs and it didn't work for him. So he decided to go to the specialist. He told the doctor about his migraine and also let him know he tried all the drugs that are available in market but they still didn't help ...
Whisper a dirty joke please	Son of a Bitch A priest was fishing in the old country when he caught a really big fish. He hauled it up on the bank and this guy walked up and looked at it. He looked over at the priest and said, "Wow, that's a big son of a bitch!" The priest looked over and said, My son, I'm a man of the cloth. You shouldn't talk li...
NSFW joke time	A man is on a business trip in Las Vegas... ...after he checks into his hotel he decides to relax with a cocktail at the hotel bar. While sipping his drink, a beautiful woman catches his eye and they strike up a conversation. It turns out she's a prostitute so he decides to invite her up to his room. Up in his room,...
A filthy laugh please	Desperate to get laid, so I'm going to my next Halloween party dressed as a giant anus ...I hear that hot girls love having sex with assholes
Say the dirtiest thing you know please	The Frog I was playing golf, and even though I am usually a pretty good player, I was playing horribly that day. As I was about to tee off at the fourth hole I heard a voice say, three wood. I looked around and no one was behind me so I took my stance. Then once again I heard ..three wood. I looked down and there was a...
What's your spiciest joke?	I have a tendency to run around naked... So every morning I spray myself with Windex, to prevent me from streaking.
Dirty joke delivery please	A small business. "Hey Jim! Long time no see, how are you?" "I'm great John, thanks. I started a small business." "Really? In this financial climate? Pretty risky. What kind?" "A brothel actually" "Cool! What services do you offer?" "The usual. Blowjobs, handjobs, and anal." "What, no pussy?" *"Well, as I ...
Tell me a not-for-kids joke	What advice did Tiger Woods' dad have for Tiger during training? Concentrate on golf—fuck everything else.
Tell me a joke that's a little bit daring	A woman is cheating on his husband and having group sex with three men... When all of a sudden, the husband returns home from work early. In a panic, the three men run to the backyard stark naked, and looking around, they see three large garbage bags and decide to hide in them and so each one gets into a bag. The hu...
A joke with spice please	So this guy has really small hands... He's with a group of his friends and he says "hey guys I have really small hands, I bet I have the smallest hands in the world. I should get it checked at the Guinness Book of World Records" so he goes and gets it checked out, meets back up with his friends and they can see his exc...
Say something vulgar and funny	So a Muslim Man is stopped on the highway... The Muslim man was driving through a rural town in Alabama, when he is pulled over by a Redneck cop. The cop gets out of his car and approaches the window of the Muslim man's car. "Do you know how fast you were going?" The cop says The Muslim man responded angrily, "I had...
Tell me a vulgar joke	John Wayne rides his horse into town, ties the reins to the hitching rail, walks to the back of the horse and pokes his finger up the horses butt. He then proceeds to wipes the finger all around his mouth. A man standing nearby runs over and says "Mr Wayne, why did you do that" John Wayne replies "Well, the wind and ...
Can you say something naughty please?	A Young Irish Couple A young Irish couple on their wedding night were in their honeymoon suite. As they were undressing for bed, the husband, a big burly man, tossed his trousers to his new bride and said: "Here, put these on." She put them on and the waist was twice the size of her body. "I can't wear your trousers," ...
Give me an edgy joke	What's long and green and has an asshole at each end? A St. Patrick's Day parade!
Let's get inappropriate	Persuading girl into having sex with you is like spreading the butter on a toast. It is possible with credit card, but it makes more sense using a knife.
Just a little dirty humor	"Doctor," the embarrassed man said "I have a sexual problem. I can't get it up for my wife anymore."Mr. Thomas, bring her back with you tomorrow and let me see what I can do."The next day, the worried fellow returned with his wife. "Take off your clothes, Mrs. Thomas," the medic said. "Now turn all the way around. Lie ...
Tell me a joke not safe for work please	There was a fly hovering six inches above a lake In the middle of the woods there was a small lake. In the middle of this lake there was a fly hovering six inches above the water. Down in the water there was a fish. And the fish said: If that fly drops six inches...I'm going to get that fly. A little ways away ...
Rude joke time	About 2/3 of the Atheists I know were raised catholic, and I can't help but wonder... Was the sex really that bad?
Make it a filthy one please	Borrowed Car One day Phil had to borrow a car, so he asked his friend Bob. Bob said that it was fine, so he gave Phil the keys and told him to return them by the end of the day. A week later, Phil hadn't returned the car. Bob called Phil angrily and asked why he hadn't given it back yet. Phil replied, "I drove by your ...
Share a grown-up joke	W E N D Y A couple just got married and before their honeymoon to Jamaica the young man decided to get his new gals name tattooed on his junk, forever marking it as belonging to her. Normally only the W and Y are visible, but when he gets excited it spells out W E N D Y. While in Jamaica they decided to visit a nude...
Say something off-color	A white man walks into a bar with his horse... And says,"I'll give a 100$ to a man who can make my horse laugh." Nobody says anything except for the native man in the back,"I can" he says and brings the horse out of the bar. A little bit later he brings him back in and the horse is laughing. The white man gives him 100...
Say the dirtiest thing you know please	A man and a beautiful busty blonde are sitting on a train... A man is sitting across from a beautiful busty blonde on a train, who is wearing a tiny mini skirt. To his delight he notices that she has no panties on The beautiful blonde notices him looking at her pussy and asks "Excuse me are you looking at my pussy?" ...
Tell me your favorite dirty joke	A businessman is driving to an important meeting when his car breaks down... Luckily, he breaks down near a mechanic, who agrees to tow his truck and fix it for him. However, the it would take awhile to fix, the businessman was going to be late if he didn't get going soon. Luckily, the mechanic had a donkey he was will...
Tell me something naughty please	What's the similarity between smoking a cigarette and eating pussy? The taste changes the closer you get to the butt.
Give me a joke that's a little spicy	A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when.. ...her daughter walks in. "Mother, where do babies come from?" The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, "Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug and make love." The daughter lo...
Spicy joke	An Englishman is having breakfast in Paris one morning.... ...(coffee, croissants, bread, butter and jam) when a Frenchman chewing bubble-gum, sits down next to him. The Englishman ignores the Frenchman who, nevertheless, starts a conversation. Frenchman: 'You English folk eat the whole bread??' Englishman (in a b...
Let's get inappropriate please	Magical Mirror There is legend that goes like this: In a bar in New York there's a magical mirror. If you go up to it and tell it the truth it will grant you one wish... but if you lie - POOF! - it swallows you up for eternity. A brunette, redhead, and a blonde walk into that very bar - with a mission. They head strai...
Tell me a really dirty joke please	The wire brush One of the few genuinely funny jokes I know that I originally learned in English: During World War I, a British general is visiting an Army hospital. He shakes the hand of one soldier, who is lying in bed. "What's wrong with you, son?" "Gonorrhea, Sir!" "What is the treatment for gonorrhea in the Br...
Give me a joke that's a little bit provocative	A drunken farmer... A drunken farmer comes home late one night holding a sheep under his arm. He walks into the bedroom and says "This is the pig I've been fucking!" His wife says "You idiot! That's not a pig, that's a sheep!" The farmer says "Will you shut the fuck up! I was talking to the sheep!"
Say an adult joke	Two ten year old boys sitting on the steps to a brothel... ... watching men enter and exit all day. At one point, two men come out smiling, laughing and talking loudly to each other. "Not bad for fifty bucks!" Says the first man with a large smile. "Not bad." Agrees the second with a grin and a wink. The first boy ...
Let's get a little filthy	So a man is a little drunk at the bar And he has decided that he's feeling a little randy, and there is a prostitute at the same bar that he wants to approach. So he asks his buddy for 20$, then goes and approaches the girl. He asks her how much to get laid, and she says "100$". He frowns, knowing that he doesn't ha...
Make it a filthy one please	A poor couple... A poor couple try their best to make ends meet. Times were hard, and there were days when the couple couldn't afford to eat. To curb their hunger, the couple would have sex. One evening, the husband comes home from work and finds his wife humping the arm rest of the couch. Perplexed, the husband asks ...
What's your dirtiest joke please?	MacGregor, the... A man walked into a bar in Scotland, sat down and ordered a drink. Next to him was a leathery old Scotsman, well into the bottle in front of him. The man asked the Scotsman if there was something the matter. The Scot replied (in Groundskeeper Willy brogue); "Aye lad, indeed there is. You see this ba...
Got any R-rated humor?	Just a good son taking care of his old dad Late in the night, a mother hears noises in the lobby. she goes to check it out, and sees her son preparing to leave the house: "Where are you going so late and on this weather?" "Well, i'm going to the whore-house" "How dare you?! You are only 15 ! Get back to bed immediatel...
Say something naughty and funny please	A man walks into a brothel... So a man walks into a brothel. He's a little down on his luck and only has $5. He asks the woman at the front desk, "So what can I get with this?" and hands her the $5. She takes the money and says, "Second door on the left." The man goes to the room and sees a chicken on the bed. He's con...
Got something risqué?	How do you know if your roommate is gay? His dick tastes like shit.
Give me a joke that's a little bit naughty and obscene	A man escapes from a prison... ...where he’s been locked up for 15 years. He breaks into a house and inside, he finds a young couple in bed. He ties him to a chair. While tying the wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he’s in there, the husban...
Tell me a joke that's a bit NSFW	Bill Gates suddenly dies... ...and finds himself face to face with God. God stood over Bill Gates and said, "Well Bill, I'm really confused on this one. It's a tough decision; I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you helped society enormously by putting a computer in almost every home in Ameri...
I'm ready for a dirty joke please	The Blind Clerk A woman goes into Cabela's to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's birthday. She doesn't know which one to get, so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter. The clerk was standing behind the counter wearing dark shades. She says to him, "Excuse me, sir.. Can you tell me anything about this rod...
Let's hear a bad joke please	An old Soviet joke An Englishman, a Frenchman and a Russian are talking about their wives. The Englishman says, "When my wife swallows a cherry with a pit, everyone thinks she is pregnant. I don't want to say that she is starving; I just want to underscore, how carefully she watches her figure." The Frenchman says, ...
Let's hear a filthy joke please	The Forgotten Pick-Up Line A man walks up to an attractive woman at a bar and begins to tell her a story. "The other day, I was walking through the park, when something unexpected bumped against my shoe," he says. The girl is intrigued. "Well, what was it?" she asks. "It was a magic lamp," the man says. "I rubbed i...
Let's hear a filthy joke please	When does an astronaut eat his favourite meal? At launch time.
Share a joke that's a little bit naughty and indecent	Oh johnny.. Little Johnny is taking a shower with his mother and says, “Mom, what are those things on your chest?” Unsure of how to reply, she tells Johnny to ask his dad at breakfast tomorrow, quite certain the matter would be forgotten. Johnny didn’t forget. The following morning he asked his father the same question...
Say something naughty	Why don't bats sleep outside? You ever deal with a sunburned asshole?
Share a joke that's a little bit naughty and edgy	The armless bell ringer. A church was looking for a new bell ringer and so had posted fliers for anyone wanting the job to come speak to the priest. The next day a man with no arms showed up wanting the job. "I don't want to offend you, sir," said the priest," but how exactly do you plan on ringing the bell with no arm...
Give me a lewd joke please	A DEA officer stopped by our farm the other day... "i need to inspect your farm for growing illegal drugs." I said "Okay, but don't go in that field over there..." The DEA officer verbally exploded saying, "Mister, i have the authority of the Federal Government with me!" Reaching into his rear pants pocket, the arrogan...
I want a dirty joke	What's so bad about being a virgin, anyway? It means fucking nothing.
Give me a joke that's a little bit naughty and obscene	My daughter has reached that age where she's asking embarrassing questions about sex Just this morning she said, "Daddy, is that the best that you can do?"
Just a little dirty humor please	new family robot A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie. He decides to test it out at dinner one night. The father asks his son what he did that afternoon. The son says, "I did some schoolwork." The robot slaps the son. The son says, "Ok, Ok. I was at a friend's house watching movies." Dad ...

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