start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1332723587 | 1332795401 | t3_rdgmc | t5_2to41 | 21 | pkhong: TIFU: I took the tip of a lit cigarette and put it on my hand, I might end up with a scar now.
Don't know what I was doing, but it was pretty stupid. Lit my hand for about 3 seconds and did it twice. I now have a dark spot on my hand and regret that I've done it. I might end up with a scar now. I made a blister... | 4 | 5.25 | |
1332728019 | 1333940998 | t3_rdk7e | t5_2to41 | 35 | [deleted]: TIFU: I used my mom's pumice stone to scratch my balls in the shower.
[deleted]: The biggest fuckup here is that you live with your fucking parents.
Hossinater: Maybe he's not an adult yet? Think before you type.
FireTeam-Violet: You made my day, Hossinater :D
| 4 | 8.75 | |
1332790652 | 1334037632 | t3_remyv | t5_2to41 | 65 | merpmerp: TIFU: Thought my class started at 2:50, turns out it ended at 2:50
Rushed to campus and as soon as I got a parking spot I realized my mistake. I missed an important review I really needed. No idea why I woke up and thought this today. It's the middle of the semester, I should know this shit, dammit!
MSkog: I... | 4 | 16.25 | |
1332803141 | 1334090657 | t3_rey4c | t5_2to41 | 57 | [deleted]: TIFU: Gave my lady friend a black eye
As I arrived at her house, I walked in to be greeted by my lovely lady friend and her cat, who darted through my legs while I was walking in. I tripped over the cat, falling forward onto my girlfriend who had just turned around to walk to her room, she fell and hit her ... | 3 | 19 | |
1332778832 | 1334945805 | t3_red2e | t5_2to41 | 35 | JACKMHARRIS: TIFU: snipped my ball bag while trimming my pubes!
I know this has happened to most blokes and it hurt like hell!!
FunnyTwo: I just imagined after you snip your balls, the tesicles actually just hang out of the sack.
....I have a fucked up mind.
T3HK4T: Your not alone... :(
FunnyTwo: Pheeeeewww! If I was ... | 6 | 5.833333 | |
1332808690 | 1333110271 | t3_rf2tk | t5_2to41 | 12 | LtDan92: TIFU: Thought a test started at 8 instead of 6:30.
I ran into to the test room with just enough time to find out that I fucked up real bad and wouldn't be able to retake the test. I had just enough time to bubble in all of the answers. Thank Odin for multiple choice.
creepingdeathv2: did you pass ?
LtDan92: ... | 3 | 4 | |
1332840581 | 1332877959 | t3_rfndd | t5_2to41 | 51 | naturallyblonde86: TIFU by brushing my teeth with my grandpa's ointment.
The shit looked like toothpaste.
DerpinaBumbleT: What kind of ointment was it? Do you have a name? This could be so much worse depending on what it is.
naturallyblonde86: It was Preparation H, for hemroids O__o I'll never be the same.
DerpinaBumb... | 4 | 12.75 | |
1332823193 | 1333423979 | t3_rff56 | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU went to school without my scubs
And some big important state legislators were on campus rating the school on professionalism.
I was sent home the second my teacher saw me in street clothes.
tomkzinti: WTF are 'scubs'?
Kamenosuke: He probably goes to med school. Scrubs are what doctors/nurses/people who... | 4 | 1 | |
1332878597 | 1332886169 | t3_rgc6y | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU I asked a girl "Hey, how's it going?" on her wall and according to my friends this is wrong.
Stinkfist94: Way to go stud, with lines like that you'll be shoulder deep in vagoo in no time.
[deleted]: Such a poon hound right?
Stinkfist94: You're more of a ladykiller than Ted Bundy...
| 4 | 0.75 | |
1332899231 | 1332902006 | t3_rgu79 | t5_2to41 | 17 | Tenswank: TIFU: Fapping in class to substitute, made eye contact during finish
She was the perfect teacher, and for French class, no less. She was the type of lean, delicious looking french woman, the type one would imagine all French females looked like.
Now, I can't say much about her teaching skills, because frankly... | 3 | 5.666667 | |
1332901052 | 1333205037 | t3_rgvw4 | t5_2to41 | 59 | Lothrazar: TIFU: made wife feel fat and unsexy.
She is only a few pounds overweight, way less than 200, and has been trying hard.
Today she was saying how it doesn't seem like a priority and she asked "do you ever find me unattractive because of my weight" and I instantly reacted by saying "Sometimes, but not most o... | 6 | 9.833333 | |
1332909176 | 1333363446 | t3_rh2vc | t5_2to41 | 201 | clearedasfiled: TIFU: I sent my best friend (who's black) a text that said "Lynch tomorrow?"
SpudsUlik: Where you refering to David Lynch cos he's awesome!
rastapus: grammer nazi: were.
SpudsUlik: Yeah well there no such word as "cos" either! You fail as a Grammer Nazi!!
riotousdefect: *there is or there's
"Grammer" ... | 6 | 33.5 | |
1332908357 | 1332948581 | t3_rh27c | t5_2to41 | 35 | HeroDrift: TIFU: Caught a 20 oz. coke with my balls
At the sandwich shop, grabbed a coke from the rack, dropped it, caught it between my hands and my manuggets. It seems the vasectomy from 2 months ago has heightened my junkular pain responsiveness. fyi.
thekid_frankie: hooray for manuggets!
Illpackallama: Kibbles an... | 3 | 11.666667 | |
1332921856 | 1333246246 | t3_rh9zg | t5_2to41 | 27 | theeowl: TIFU: Have you ever had a girl text you while you were whacking off?
When my friends girlfriend texted me mid-stroke I fucked up. I should have just finished and answered her question but noooo...... instead Captain Stupid has to sail blindly into getting all sexual with her. She is apparently WAY uptight ab... | 4 | 6.75 | |
1332933024 | 1333201338 | t3_rhe3m | t5_2to41 | 72 | TrollingBaron: TIFU: I attacked the ground...with my face...from the top of the stairs
This wasn't today, but a few days back. I was at this lookout tower with my class, when I needed to pee real bad. I went and peed, then went to go down a flight of stairs to look out of the tower from there. I completely missed the f... | 3 | 24 | |
1332972343 | 1334110816 | t3_ri8b4 | t5_2to41 | 56 | Classy_Dolphin: TIFU: Had a religious debate with seriously Christian girl (love interest ofc)
Yeah, ok, so I'm the type; regularly browse R/Atheism, love Hitch, and I'm the kind of brainy nerd who loves to get angry about politics and religion. This girl (kinda half girlfriend, its complicated, read: not relevant) is ... | 11 | 5.090909 | |
1332986101 | 1333062374 | t3_rikcg | t5_2to41 | 76 | rastapus: TIFU: games on the can = mess
So long story really short, i was having a really good run through a temple on my phone while dropping a deuce today. I do this all the time, coordinate all bodily functions whilst jumping ducking and turning. Then i got to a particularly tricky bit. This is where the mess happen... | 7 | 10.857143 | |
1333010720 | 1333143542 | t3_rizwo | t5_2to41 | 18 | KiwiBait: TIFU-I put new dark blue jeans in with a load of white clothes...
one brain fart later and 2 hours of soaking in bleach later, still ruined.
[deleted]: New or not, doesn't matter. My *only* pair of dark blue jeans (that is, the only pair of jeans that I've found, that actually fit me) are almost a year old an... | 3 | 6 | |
1333033660 | 1333040303 | t3_rjb1h | t5_2to41 | 95 | TheManCarpCometh: TIFU : Drank a cup of coffee with my crotch on my way to school.
Today I woke up late. Instantly anger clouded my judgement as I fumbled around my room to get all my shit together. When I went upstairs a pot of coffee was made (thank god) and I proceeded to search for my travel mug. Unfortunately, it ... | 3 | 31.666667 | |
1333037632 | 1333345160 | t3_rjedh | t5_2to41 | 27 | sadi89: TIFU I have a presentation in less then an hour on a book I didn't really read.
And now instead of doing last minute cramming. I'm on reddit.
pkhong: I wish I could of helped you in time, www.sparknotes.com comes in handy at these times.
sadi89: Unfortunately, its a history/anthropology book about the shift f... | 5 | 5.4 | |
1333071829 | 1338075203 | t3_rk8k7 | t5_2to41 | 792 | dmuns: tifu: Got caught masturbating in the middle of nowhere, ran over a snake, AND fell into a creek... twice
I perform chemical tests on creek water several times per week, and today I was out in the middle of the woods, ALONE for a change. It takes me about twenty minutes to get to the first test site along this cr... | 8 | 99 | |
1333072632 | 1333345260 | t3_rk99c | t5_2to41 | 24 | Naznarreb: TIFU by learning the hard way that Carnation Instant Breakfast gives me explosive diarrhea.
It was bad. I was at work and made a **huge** mess in the men's room. I panicked and almost packed it in right then and there, thought I'd just zip up and make a break for the parking lot; hopefully no would notice b... | 4 | 6 | |
1333154287 | 1333408272 | t3_rlr7e | t5_2to41 | 47 | foxy1167: TIFU, my dog almost ran onto a local highway / drowned.
Went to a local dog park today, okay place, large sandbox area enclosed with a fence. My dog is a Boxer / Shepherd mix, so she's a big dog. Had some fun, ran around, yadda yadda yadda. Around 7 PM EST I decide to leave, and had the dumbass idea to let he... | 3 | 15.666667 | |
1333156650 | 1333192229 | t3_rlst3 | t5_2to41 | 14 | [deleted]: Live stream fail
logicalrationaltruth: >Rules:
>1. Start all posts with "TIFU"
>2. Don't break rule 1
TYFU on TIFU
swashbucklinghomegir: ...I did start my post with TIFU! Or do you mean in the title?
logicalrationaltruth: Ah, they did not specify so I must concede. BTW, why were you spying on yo... | 4 | 3.5 | |
1333156160 | 1333334591 | t3_rlsic | t5_2to41 | 135 | TheManCarpCometh: TIFU : Chased down a jerk for nearly running me off the road, found out he was driving his pregnant wife to the hospital.
*This actually happened about a year ago but I thought you guys might appreciate it*
I was driving down the highway when I noticed a car coming up on me fast. He flew past me an... | 5 | 27 | |
1333177855 | 1333246962 | t3_rm58k | t5_2to41 | 7 | daniel64: TYFU: i leave accidentally a aluminium ball to my dog
rya11111: removed for breaking rule 1
daniel64: Damn misspelling
TIFU
rya11111: :D .. please resubmit if you want ..
daniel64: ok, i start to fell like bad luck Brian
| 5 | 1.4 | |
1333200025 | 1333284086 | t3_rmcct | t5_2to41 | 6 | TheNormalSun: ... by throwing away my spoon instead of the lid of my pudding
rya11111: removed for breaking rule 1
TheNormalSun: Noticed . Thanks .
rya11111: please re submit if u want ..
TheNormalSun: Nah ... It wasn't that interesting i have to admit .
| 5 | 1.2 | |
1333223302 | 1333453706 | t3_rmqws | t5_2to41 | 46 | sepha: TIFU: Fell off a building.
Yesterday I was showing how a bird's wings work to a 5th grade class. I was demoing a flying machine ornithopter which flew really high - the wind caught it and took it to the school roof. I climbed up the single story building to get it back. When getting down I took a nasty fall onto... | 4 | 11.5 | |
1333229745 | 1333232244 | t3_rmvhs | t5_2to41 | 8 | [deleted]: TIFU: jizz stain on my shoe.
This wasnt particularly today but it was definately a fuck up. I was giving my boyfriend head at skool and things got kinda oyt of hand wen he pulled out and proceeded to cum all over my shoe. See, i wouldnt hav freaked out so bad if, A: he would have warned me. And B: i wasnt we... | 3 | 2.666667 | |
1333241291 | 1334005137 | t3_rn3tw | t5_2to41 | 43 | purplemonkey218: TIFU I went into the wrong-gendered restroom
So I was at this mall and I realize "Oh shit, I gotta shit." So of course the bathrooms are on the other side of the mall. I buns-of-steel-waddle to the other side of the mall, dash into the bathroom, into a stall, and release my colon bomb. It was just bad.... | 4 | 10.75 | |
1333243689 | 1333320316 | t3_rn5hk | t5_2to41 | 94 | iamregretting: TIFU: I saw someone being molested and I didn't do anything.
I was at a local market shopping around for groceries for the week with my mother when something that really bothered me happened. Usually there is this homeless nearly blind guy that wanders through the market and accepts any spare change tha... | 5 | 18.8 | |
1333140736 | 1333322917 | t3_rlgqu | t5_2to41 | 12 | im_tw1g: TIFU: Left the door open and a bird came in. We have a cat.
(well, the fuckup was yeterday but it still counts)
When I went out to go to soccer practice yesterday, I left the side door open. When we came back, the hallway was covered in feathers. And the cat was there looking pleased with herself.
Spent a few... | 4 | 3 | |
1333291857 | 1333343891 | t3_rnyth | t5_2to41 | 74 | ern19: TIFU when I chopped off a chunk of my finger at work.
I'm a lowly sandwich slave at Subway. About half an hour before I was scheduled to leave, I was opening a bag of roast beef. Everything at Subway is sealed in apocalypse-proof, NASA-grade plastic, and of course all of our knives are duller than Paris Hilton w... | 8 | 9.25 | |
1333270969 | 1335949909 | t3_rnpz0 | t5_2to41 | 20 | feelinweird: TIFU: Fucked up my kneecap in front of 60+ people.
Participating in a musical performance. Dancing too much. Kneecap falls out of place in high visibility. Stack (fall) hard. Sit the remainder of the song in noticeable agony. Carried off, everyone's fucking looking. get makeshift splint from bar manager. H... | 5 | 4 | |
1333330835 | 1334098166 | t3_rouo2 | t5_2to41 | 134 | Stephoscope: TIFU: Drunk baking ending with a trip to the ER
http://imgur.com/a/r1h5g#tR874
After drinking from a large glass that was primarily tequila, I decided to make Oatmeal Raisin cookies from scratch for my boyfriend. I measured correctly, had everything out, but I forgot one essential ingredient. I forgot the... | 8 | 16.75 | |
1333217935 | 1333390603 | t3_rmmwy | t5_2to41 | 2 | Armonster: TIFU: Lost a chance to use a 50% off coupon for over a hundred dollars worth of clothes.
Was buying some shirts online, and I couldn't decided whether to get one or not. So I went to bed and decided against it the next day. Decided to look up coupon codes for the site. There was a FIFTY percent off one, that... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1333348927 | 1333396651 | t3_rp787 | t5_2to41 | 13 | The_Bug_L: TIFU: I spent today playing my PS3 and browsing Reddit instead of studying for my exam tomorrow morning
I was at the library at by 10am this morning to study but ended up spending 5 hrs on reddit. It was depressing, so I came home for a change of scenery and a little COD:MW3 break on the PS3 but spent like ... | 4 | 3.25 | |
1333341667 | 1333417774 | t3_rp33l | t5_2to41 | 19 | Poly_Kuroichigo: TIFU: Chipped a tooth while trying to be affectionate.
This morning I was feeling awful so when I got home from class, I decided to have a nap. I woke up to my boyfriend pulling the blanket up over me. My response to this in my mostly asleep state was to grab his hand and pull him down for a snog. Only... | 3 | 6.333333 | |
1333399883 | 1333422154 | t3_rq27w | t5_2to41 | 50 | SaltyChristian: [Announcement] New rule regarding unoriginal/common submissions.
Recently there has been a lot of posts along the lines of "TIFU when I spent my whole day redditing instead of working/studying." These posts are very unoriginal, and procrastinating and/or spending too much time on reddit is a common occu... | 6 | 8.333333 | |
1333408632 | 1333659705 | t3_rq9x4 | t5_2to41 | 73 | Holmx: TIFU: Texted to a girl that I liked her, but she already has a boyfriend.. Now's the friendship gone too..
I have met the girl on a holiday and she contacted me after on facebook. We did write for a fairly long time and yesterday i wrote as the title says. Now is the girl gone.. Think I'm going to use the rest o... | 8 | 9.125 | |
1333413443 | 1333468385 | t3_rqe38 | t5_2to41 | 131 | [deleted]: TIFU: I spent an hour trying to build an infra red light pen, but threw it all away in frustration because the light wouldn't turn on
But I found out at the end of the YouTube tutorial that the the light isn't supposed to be visible.
Neebat: I'm kind of skeptical that you spent an hour building something wi... | 5 | 26.2 | |
1333394063 | 1339184236 | t3_rpwz4 | t5_2to41 | 26 | CodyCarlile: TIFU by giving this guy pickles
First of all i work at Krystals and theres always rude customers but usually not as clever as this guy. Anyway heres what happened... A guy walks in with a couple of his buddies and they start figuring out what they want. The first guy walks up to the counter and i say "welc... | 3 | 8.666667 | |
1333426723 | 1333732387 | t3_rqpwf | t5_2to41 | 14 | strongbadiophage: TIFU:Spilled the contents of my taco on the ground and felt like an idiot.
I wasted half an hour of my lunch break deciding whether to go to Del Taco, and when I finally did go I had to walk/rush. I was in a rush so I decided to start eating while I was walking. I got stopped at a light and while I ... | 3 | 4.666667 | |
1333451126 | 1333477558 | t3_rr0o1 | t5_2to41 | 25 | iLEZ: TIFU by losing a used condom wrapper at work. Somewhere.
I had sexual congress with a purdy lady last weekend and disposed my two opened condom wrappers in my pocket (never litter the lady's bedroom gentlemen, the rubbers themselves should be handled too of course). This monday I was sitting as usual at work and ... | 7 | 3.571429 | |
1333467847 | 1333549659 | t3_rraqg | t5_2to41 | 81 | omegawoot: [TIFU] Woke up when my exam started, and fell on my face rushing over to it.
I was supposed to study and go to two classes before my exam, one with an attendance policy, but I woke up at noon instead of 9am. I woke up and instantly threw clothes on and started biking over. Without my glasses and half asleep... | 7 | 11.571429 | |
1333470312 | 1333683343 | t3_rrcpv | t5_2to41 | 52 | urbanlegendary: TIFU by leaving my mom's sunroof open last night, then it rained
calafragilistic: I left my mom's car door literally open all night one time, in a bad neighborhood. No freaking clue how nothing got stolen.
Poly_Kuroichigo: As opposed to leaving it figuratively open?
calafragilistic: I figured people wo... | 8 | 6.5 | |
1333481213 | 1333990454 | t3_rrm1m | t5_2to41 | 35 | GDFD1: TIFU Got Drunk, Fell Down
Got Drunk, Fell Down – #1
My neighbor asked this morning, “How did you do that to your nose?”
I said, “Got drunk, fell down.”
She said, “Really?”
I contemplated momentarily regarding how many times in the next few weeks I’m going to be asked about my two black eyes as the result of a br... | 3 | 11.666667 | |
1333504875 | 1333545290 | t3_rs6vt | t5_2to41 | 15 | olithraz: TIFU: the backup server for my home network lost connection to the NAS and filled it's drive up... now it wont boot because there is no space
Epic fail.
All the servers and computers rsync their files to the backup server, which has the NAS mounted locally. It lost connection to the NAS, so everything staye... | 4 | 3.75 | |
1333550621 | 1333561139 | t3_rsxdj | t5_2to41 | 162 | ilk425: TIFU. I crashed my car after sneezing.
I was driving home from my friend's place and was in the lane closest to the sidewalk as I intended to turn off soon. I felt a huge sneeze coming on and thinking nothing of it, proceeded to let fly. I ended up sneezing hard enough that I jerked my wheel and proceeded to... | 3 | 54 | |
1333584611 | 1333615653 | t3_rtt0p | t5_2to41 | 23 | Armonster: Drove 2 hours with my friends to a show... on the WRONG DATE.
heylookatmybutt: What's the deets?
TotalFusionOne: Downvote in the hopes that that slang will NEVER catch on.
thekid_frankie: It's called an apocopation. Like cig for cigarette, gas for gasoline, or even clit for clitoris. And I'm pretty sure i... | 4 | 5.75 | |
1333586824 | 1333608987 | t3_rtv0f | t5_2to41 | 56 | yamancool63: TIFU: Almost killed a customer after repairing their bicycle.
Long story short, there was an issue with the brake lever that didn't present itself while I worked on it or while I took it for a test ride (It was getting stuck under certain conditions).
Customer came to pick up the bike, and proceeded to r... | 5 | 11.2 | |
1333612077 | 1333646935 | t3_rucrg | t5_2to41 | 65 | [deleted]: TIFU: Drained my car battery while on the phone. Got a jump from a friend, only to lock my keys in the car while it was on
It was not a good night. Had to miss my tutoring session and call pop-a-lock.
Chuckgofer: Which is weird, most modern cars have a safety feature that if your keys are in the ignition, th... | 4 | 16.25 | |
1333591174 | 1334079372 | t3_rtyy4 | t5_2to41 | 28 | plinking_zombies: TIFU: At work, searched for reddits with good landscape, architecture, and sky photography and wound up with a pornography block warning on my screen and a PORN shortcut in the middle of my browser I couldn't delete.
Short version: I typed "porn" in the wrong search box.
Yeah, I figured out how to de... | 3 | 9.333333 | |
1333640258 | 1333668083 | t3_ruqkx | t5_2to41 | 252 | nastybacon: TIFU: I lost an SD card containing all my personalised porn every girl I have ever known has ever sent me.
It's also full of facebook pictures of people I know. If anyone finds this card, they'd be like WTF as its rather personalised fetish stuff. If my girlfriend finds it, then I'm going to have to leave ... | 6 | 42 | |
1333649425 | 1334090031 | t3_ruyo4 | t5_2to41 | 89 | HealthyandHappy: TIFU: Made an amputee joke to a girl whose aunt is a double amputee.
Been single for a couple weeks so I figured I should try to move on and tried my luck with one lady. I initiate conversation and everything is going well, when she asks how my knee is (We were FB friends, and she must have seen my po... | 4 | 22.25 | |
1333650728 | 1336011198 | t3_ruzv0 | t5_2to41 | 11 | [deleted]: TIFU: I put in my two weeks, signed resignation papers, and I don't have a job lined up.
Basically, my workplace is inappropriate as fuck. I made complaints about how inappropriate some of the actions were by management. Examples- Regional Manager tickles lower backs of women in a weird sexual way, GM lives ... | 3 | 3.666667 | |
1333659141 | 1340398752 | t3_rv7iu | t5_2to41 | 512 | Xemeriba: TIFU: Girlfriend's mom opened up my glove box to get a napkin and instead got a lap full of used condoms + wrappers.
I decided to take my girlfriend and her mom out to brunch this morning. Her mom was applying makeup in the car and got a little lip gloss on her hand so she asked me if I had any napkins in the... | 10 | 51.2 | |
1333661086 | 1335125196 | t3_rv97a | t5_2to41 | 15 | Garglemesh113: TIFU: Was going to hook up with this random girl I met online... ended up doing errands/babysitting and didn't get any
So I ask this girl online if she's dtf, and she responded quickly, "Sure, wanna meet at my place tomorrow?"
So I go over, and it turns out she's in a bind. Her housemate is in the hospi... | 3 | 5 | |
1333685132 | 1334072179 | t3_rvsvg | t5_2to41 | 67 | dabeezkneez: TIFU: Made eggs explode.
Started making some hard-boiled eggs so I'd have them ready for tomorrow. Sat down on the couch but I passed the-F-out. Woke up to smell something burning. I immediately remember I had been boiling the eggs. Run into the kitchen and find that one of the eggs is on fire in the pot. ... | 4 | 16.75 | |
1330913070 | 1333689873 | t3_qhxtl | t5_2to41 | 9 | jimaug87: IFUO stabbed myself
I'm slicing an apple with a nice, sharp knife , and I miss the apple. I felt the knife plunge into something, and a little pinch/burn near my wrist. I look down (yes, this happened because i wasn't paying attention), and see the handle up against my hand. Full 3" of blade running from the ... | 4 | 2.25 | |
1333697974 | 1333724323 | t3_rw0cz | t5_2to41 | 27 | SHITTY_SKETCH_ARTIST: TIFU: I tried to delete Java over something minor, now nothing works.
I deleted it from program files and now I can't reinstall or remove it via add/remove programs.
jaredcheeda: 1. Subscribe to [/r/24hoursupport](/r/24hoursupport)
2. Download [JavaRa](http://singularlabs.com/software/javara/)
3.... | 3 | 9 | |
1333722822 | 1333749770 | t3_rwaqt | t5_2to41 | 44 | Admiral_Fancypants: TIFU - drove car into bricks surrounding Sonic order sign
Didn't realize that I had my wheel turned, and when I tried to pull out of the spot swerved into the bricks and heard scraping. I feel like an idiot.
Chuckgofer: Why would you go to sonic? Thats the TIFU part
fistymcbuttpuncher: You better ... | 7 | 6.285714 | |
1333662040 | 1333845658 | t3_rva0a | t5_2to41 | 25 | IFeastOnYerDownvotes: TIFU: I Caught the Oatmeal I Was Trying to Microwave on Fire
I was making oatmeal and I didn't use water. Popped it in the microwave for a minute. I turned around, went to the TV, and started watching an episode of Doctor Who. Next thing I knew, I smelled something burning, so I looked at the micr... | 5 | 5 | |
1333761958 | 1333767579 | t3_rx885 | t5_2to41 | 12 | [deleted]: Missed job orientation, got lost for 2 hours, peed my pants, and locked myself out of my house.
rya11111: Removed for breaking rule 1. Start the post title with TIFU. Please reubmit. Thanks!
wabbajack984: Could you post on the sidebar about the title I didn't realize it had to be the title the side bar just... | 5 | 2.4 | |
1333767177 | 1333851121 | t3_rxbzc | t5_2to41 | 80 | wabbajack984: TIFU Missed job orientation, got lost, peed pants, got locked out.
Update at the bottom.
TIFU
Well lets see this is the first time I ever had a job, I was to go to a job orientation at 5:30 today at a store I have never been to. I left at 4 because I wanted to show up on time and since I didn't know the ... | 6 | 13.333333 | |
1333810036 | 1333840023 | t3_rxvrb | t5_2to41 | 47 | rainbowdash64: TIFU: Lost all my money betting on a horse with a gambler, tripped over guy in a wheelchair, locked myself out of the house.
Went to my very first race today and bet on horse 2 for show, and 4 for the win, both odds were not with me so someone made a side bet with me for the winnings, my jorse came in se... | 3 | 15.666667 | |
1333795916 | 1333839787 | t3_rxqnw | t5_2to41 | 2 | valueraise: TIFU: I bought Minecraft. My computer can't run it.
Well, yup.
Omegaexcellens: How is it not running? Do you have the first computer ever built?
valueraise: It does run, but it is the bare minimum of running, I believe I get somewhere around 0,2 FPS.
Omegaexcellens: ouch. sry bout that. that sucks.
| 4 | 0.5 | |
1333846825 | 1334078601 | t3_rylzn | t5_2to41 | 285 | Knitler: Tifu: I (guy) told my best friend (lesbian) that I love her
We have been best friends, she's basically my only friend, for years and today I just couldn't stand hiding it anymore so I told her how I felt. I know that she didn't and won't ever feel the same but I just couldn't keep holding it in.
All that sh... | 8 | 35.625 | |
1333851083 | 1336517555 | t3_ryp1v | t5_2to41 | 52 | pyroarson: TIFU: Caused a "forest" fire.
To be perfectly honest, it was an accident. My friend and I found a propane torch and started fooling around with it. Unfortunately, we were in a field full of dry grass and dead trees. When we lit a fallen branch, the wind blew flaming pieces of it into the grass, and all hell ... | 7 | 7.428571 | |
1333861855 | 1333980274 | t3_ryw9a | t5_2to41 | 60 | JeanCreamer: TIFU: Late for work, shit pants, puked on crotch. So...perdy good day.
Yesterday I decided why not have a party. People started showing up around 9 and we proceeded to get good and hammered. My friend brought a bottle of Belvedere, I had gotten a bottle of Ron Diaz, many potables were imbibed. So, fast fo... | 3 | 20 | |
1333864941 | 1334374812 | t3_ryxyy | t5_2to41 | 269 | WitherSlick: TIFU:I accidentally told a 5 year old girl to take her shirt off.
I was cleaning the yard shirtless, and I'm around 16. Their were various small children playing, and most were boys. I hear "Why does he have his shirt off" and I said "Why don't you have your shirt off?" thinking it was a boy. It wasn't.
wh... | 11 | 24.454545 | |
1333862813 | 1334351172 | t3_rywu8 | t5_2to41 | 27 | ConfidentCoward: TIFU: Wimped out of making a move on the girl of my dreams
We were seeing a movie together with a mutual friend, and we sat next to each other and were sorta flirting the entire time, and I wanted to do something, but I never brought up the courage to do it. And I rarely get a chance to see this girl, ... | 4 | 6.75 | |
1333859637 | 1333925447 | t3_ryuvd | t5_2to41 | 20 | Monya619: TIFU: i have i have burnt MR.noodles.
Now if you you don't know what MR.noodles are there essentially ramen/noodles with broth all what you have to do is boil water put the mr.noodles and flavoring in the water for about 10 minutes... and this is how it happend. im on the couch watching game of thrones of co... | 5 | 4 | |
1333876373 | 1334062947 | t3_rz29y | t5_2to41 | 39 | [deleted]: TIFU got drunk, told the guy who flew me across the country to visit that he is 2nd to my ex.
Basically what the title says. I went out drinking with someone who flew me across the country to see him after he's talked for months about how he'd love to have a relationship with me. Drinking makes me super tr... | 5 | 7.8 | |
1333907297 | 1333908852 | t3_rzg9p | t5_2to41 | 19 | mastiction: accidentally sent dirty message to the girl i like
TheKryce: Wow, that is bad. What dif she answer ?
SukaPahpah: I wish to know as well. Come on OP!
| 3 | 6.333333 | |
1333914853 | 1338686219 | t3_rzmby | t5_2to41 | 352 | shmiz: TIFU: I accidentally solicited a prostitute and enraged a pimp.
Last night I started to get those fourth meal hunger pangs and decided to (somewhat drunkenly) drive to the nearby T-Bell. I live in a pretty shady part of NE Portland. As I pulled up to the intersection of my residential street and 82nd (a busy str... | 7 | 50.285714 | |
1333942008 | 1333944276 | t3_s08n0 | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: In Front of Friend's Grandparents: Played Porn
rya11111: removed for breaking rule 1. Please read sidebar before submitting and resubmit :)
delofan: Forgive me, somewhat new to actual posting. If it was removed, why is it still here? And i did try to resubmit, giving me a timer to post again. Cheers
rya1111... | 6 | 1 | |
1333941776 | 1333947268 | t3_s08g4 | t5_2to41 | 7 | FireTeam-Violet: Blood... Blood every where...
rya11111: removed for breaking rule 1. Please read sidebar before submitting and resubmit. Thanks! :)
FireTeam-Violet: Ehhh... To lazy to do it, and not worth it cuz all I get is downvotes, who cares anymore? ಥ_ಥ
rya11111: ಠ\_ಠ ... ... | 5 | 1.4 | |
1333951736 | 1333990854 | t3_s0fpf | t5_2to41 | 56 | delofan: TIFU: In Front of Friend's Grandparents: Played Porn
I went over to my friend's grandparent's house for an hour or so. We were just in the sun room, her poppop was reading the paper in the same room, and her mommom was in the adjacent room, on the computer. No TV on, just very quiet. We were trying to enterta... | 3 | 18.666667 | |
1333982182 | 1334055582 | t3_s0tgh | t5_2to41 | 60 | [deleted]: TIFU: I drunkenly texted my fuck buddy who I'm crazy about that he resembles Richard Karn
In my defense, he kind of does. Full beard, frequent flannel wearer. But I know he was't happy about it. I mean who would be? Now he either doesn't reply to texts or his replies are super short. Go me!
baitingforyears: ... | 4 | 15 | |
1333952159 | 1334077794 | t3_s0fxo | t5_2to41 | 15 | Alice_Lane: TIFU: Lost my keys and cell phone in a grocery store
So, I took my friend and her mom to the store because they needed food but they don't have a car. She lives out of town, about an hour and half where I live. Anyways, we were at the store and I noticed: I didn't have my cell phone or keys. I had gotten of... | 5 | 3 | |
1333780248 | 1334195896 | t3_rxl2n | t5_2to41 | 18 | [deleted]: TIFU by Kissing the girl my friend liked... In front of him ([near]Instant Karma occurred)
I got the bright idea of kissing the girl my friend liked while (we thought) he was asleep. Much to our dismay, he was still awake and moments later was up and about. After she left, needless to say, he was pissed at ... | 4 | 4.5 | |
1334008067 | 1339319154 | t3_s1gvi | t5_2to41 | 1,356 | bathedinsanely: TIFU. Dutch-ovened myself, puked.
Last night, I decided to go out for ice cream. I'm lactose intolerant, but my stomach hasn't been acting up lately, so I thought I'd have a treat. I had a cone and I felt fine, other than a little rumbling in my stomach before bed. That night, I had a strange dream, whe... | 8 | 169.5 | |
1334011049 | 1334328533 | t3_s1jbr | t5_2to41 | 112 | kwokjoel: TIFU: I texted my girl best friend that I loved her instead of my gf. Now she's spamming my inbox on nearly every social network I have.
I accidentally pressed on the wrong name (as both if their names start with "Au") and now she's just keep spamming my inboxes with "I Love You <3". FML
coffin-dodger: Bot... | 10 | 11.2 | |
1333909876 | 1334033665 | t3_rziao | t5_2to41 | 25 | notaneggspert: TIFU by locking my keys in my car at a car show
Got locked out of my car for over an hour at a car show, happened to have a cloths hanger and pliers on me but decided not to try braking into my own car in front of hundreds of other car enthusiast and waited for AAA.
Once the guy was there he wedged the ... | 6 | 4.166667 | |
1334031881 | 1334110692 | t3_s225h | t5_2to41 | 65 | anakshot369: TIFU: Drove off with a gas pump still in my car.
I will be expecting a fine. Other than that, A GOOD DAY. (btw, first post)
lizzyrobina: how can you even do that??? where I live they pump has to be on the hook before you pay, i know this because once i didn't put it properly back on the hook so it didn't ... | 4 | 16.25 | |
1334026745 | 1334077307 | t3_s1xlg | t5_2to41 | 41 | Pawtahmoose: TIFU-Not so bad, but still feel dumb
* Was trying to figure out why my computer was not reading my phone when it was plugged in
* Found the problem, looked at the time, realized I had five minutes to catch the bus for class.
* Realized I forgot my metrocard
*EDIT: Realized I forgot my headphones...now ... | 10 | 4.1 | |
1334058031 | 1334115171 | t3_s2ees | t5_2to41 | 7 | Baconshapes: How I see everyone who posts on this subreddit.
rya11111: Removed. Not a TIFU post.
Baconshapes: You fiend... How about write some rules and this sort of thing wouldn't happen...
rya11111: Its written in the sidebar ...
Baconshapes: It only says all posts have to start with "TIFU" I didn't think it appl... | 7 | 1 | |
1334061655 | 1336397913 | t3_s2g37 | t5_2to41 | 195 | cheeeebs: TIFU fell asleep on couch with sweatpants, woke with obvious boner, next to brothers girlfriend and family
Reclining chair/couch... Dozed off, on back, knees bent... Had weird sexual dreams... Woke up with boner, boner is fierce, and right in the middle of the crotch of my sweatpants, knees still bent. My yo... | 7 | 27.857143 | |
1334027074 | 1334071670 | t3_s1xxh | t5_2to41 | 160 | SRotD: Congratulations, /r/tifu! You're the Subreddit of the Day for April 10, 2012!
[Link!](http://www.reddit.com/r/subredditoftheday)
Ratman0410: Is it a bad omen for this to happen on my birthday? :(
myprettyeyelASHes: Ahh its my birthday too!
Happy Birthday! :)
Ratman0410: Happy birthday to you too!
| 4 | 40 | |
1334036653 | 1334082820 | t3_s25m6 | t5_2to41 | 24 | nicolenyan: TIFU - Stereotyped
I recently got a new job, and have had difficulty learning people's names (we wear name tags, but you can't always see them). All day I had heard people calling our black manager "Shaniqua." I had a question about something, so I approached her and called by this supposed name. She quickl... | 3 | 8 | |
1334071537 | 1334081233 | t3_s2mw6 | t5_2to41 | 233 | MSciCSI: TIFU: Drove a motorcycle for the first time today. Crashed a motorcycle for the first time today.
The trust between my friend and I has grown over the time we have known each other. He rides a motorcycle, I drive a car. I had never driven a motorcycle. I made a bet that I could set off on his motorcycle withou... | 3 | 77.666667 | |
1334081940 | 1334420130 | t3_s2wb0 | t5_2to41 | 32 | Tylerdeedot: TIFU I cooked my ramen in the microwave, and forgot to put in water. (this is the 2nd time this has happened)
OH GOD THE SMELL. i wish i could blame this on being high, or fucked up, but i was sober as.. an ox(?) when i did this.
i put two ramen squares in a bowl, popped it in the microwave and timed it ... | 5 | 6.4 | |
1334010527 | 1334111928 | t3_s1iy8 | t5_2to41 | 12 | [deleted]: TIFU by covering the inside of my new shirt with toothpaste
I had come home from travelling internationally with new clothes. I stupidly had my deodorant and toothpaste in the same bag and toothpaste got on the bottom of the deodorant. When I put deodorant on while wearing my new shirt, I covered the new shi... | 3 | 4 | |
1334081391 | 1336301413 | t3_s2vrn | t5_2to41 | 24 | JesusofTorn: TIFU: Tried to show off to some local kids
and broke my Land Rover
At each crossroad where I live, there's large stone spheres to stop cars coming off the road and into the corners of houses. I decided to drive my Land Rover up one of them to show some kids that my vehicle can actually handle adverse terr... | 8 | 3 | |
1334108662 | 1334165533 | t3_s3ll7 | t5_2to41 | 153 | LittleSprout: TIFU by telling my professor (and dissertation advisor) he should be proud of being gay.
He was saying that a friend of his suggested he should make an "It Gets Better" video for people in academia.
I assumed he meant about being gay, and he was coming out to me for whatever reason, and I said "Oh you re... | 4 | 38.25 | |
1334121020 | 1334168753 | t3_s3w2m | t5_2to41 | 51 | GroceryBagSlave: TIFU by dropping my iPod out of the car when I hopped out to pick up a quarter on the sidewalk.
There I am, riding shotty in my friend's car, minding my own business, when we stop at a red light. I look to my left and see a sweet-ass quarter right there on the sidewalk. "I've got time," I think. Lig... | 5 | 10.2 | |
1334171482 | 1334174067 | t3_s4sow | t5_2to41 | 268 | Trollemmiwinks: TIFU: Drank regular milk instead of Lactaid milk: shit my pants on my way to work trying to fart
I'm lactose intolerant. Like continent of Asia, completely lacking the proper digestive enzymes, diarrhea storm kind of lactose intolerant. I woke up kindof sleepy and hungover and drank some regular skim mi... | 5 | 53.6 | |
1334190256 | 1334458780 | t3_s5akc | t5_2to41 | 23 | Kewl_Beanz9797: TIFU When I dropped my Ipod in milk for the THIRD TIME!
ZombieLannister: I flushed my phone down the toilet once. Was taking a pill and it fell out of the pocket of my hoodie right when I was flushing the toilet. Mind you, this was a few years ago, it was a small flip-phone.
NeverLucid: Taking a pill ... | 8 | 2.875 | |
1334200121 | 1334264050 | t3_s5k4u | t5_2to41 | 41 | ATierney: TIFU put shampoo on my toothbrush and then realized I had toothpaste in my hair.
blackbeltninja: calling bullshit on this one!
[deleted]: I brush my teeth in the shower to save time in my day, put what I thought was shampoo in my hair and let it sit while I started to brush my teeth with what I thought was t... | 4 | 10.25 |
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