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Generate an episode of The Simpsons. |
Homer Simpson: No, heh, heh, heh. Just congratulating the son on a fine joke about his old man.
Homer Simpson: Now, remember, as far as anyone knows, we're a nice, normal family.
Lisa Simpson: Hey Bart, last one in the fountain's a rotten egg!
Homer Simpson: Be normal! Be normal!
Marge Simpson: Oh, what an adorable li... | |
Generate an episode of Seinfeld |
Kramer: Oh, come on, Jerry! Come on, this is stupid! It's six o'clock! It's all over, just pick up the phone and thank him!
Jerry: Alright! (picks up the phone and dials) Hello, Alec? Hi, it's Jerry Seinfeld. You know, you got a great 'John Houseman' name. Alec Berg. Did you hand in your assignment, Mr. Berg?
Alec: Wh... | |
Generate an episode of South Park. |
The Boys: Cheeeeeeef!
Narrator: Well, it looks like the boys are in more trouble than a June bug in molasses. And it's pretty thick molasses, too.
Stan: Uh. Wugh. You guys. Wake up!
Kyle: What the? Where are, where are we?
Stan: We're in the alien ship.
Cartman: Ah. Uh! I'm trapped inside Helen Hunt's ass! Oh God, h... | |
Generate an episode of Seinfeld |
Mr. ross: They're all chickens. The rooster has sex with all of them.
Frank: That's perverse.
George: Did anybody see Firestorm?
Mr. ross: Firestorm, that's a hell of a picture.
George: Yeah.
Mr. ross: Remember when they had the helicopter land on top of that car --
Frank: Hey! Hey! Come on! Come on! I haven't seen it... | |
Generate an episode of The Simpsons. |
Ned Flanders: Boy, that's Jim Dandy roof candy! I'd love to come over some time and watch that Church Channel.
Homer Simpson: I bet you would.
Ned Flanders: Oh, you'd win that bet. Seems like I'm spending all my money on religious pay-per-view. Or as I like to call it, "pray-per-view."
Homer Simpson: Damn your sparkli... | |
Generate an episode of The Simpsons. |
Homer Simpson: I wish I had a nickel for every time I've heard that. TAKE ME OUT TO THE BALL GAME / TAKE ME OUT TO THE BALL! So what's new, Grimy?
Frank Grimes: Simpson! You've got a 513!
Frank Grimes: No! A 513! In your procedures manual! A 513?!
Frank Grimes: Look at your control panel!
Homer Simpson: Oh. A five THI... | |
Generate an episode of Seinfeld |
Elaine: Hello.. (Pulls a wad of bills out of her purse, and starts to count it up)
George: (Shocked) You caved?!
Jerry: It's over?
George: You're out?
Jerry: Ohh-my-God. The Queen is dead.
George: I figured you'd cruise. At least through the Spring.
Jerry: What happened?
Elaine: It was..uh.. John-John.
Jerry and georg... | |
Generate an episode of The Simpsons. |
Lisa Simpson: How do you know my name?
Isabel Gutierrez: I deciphered the anagrams on your notebook.
Lisa Simpson: Oh.
Isabel Gutierrez: Be Lisa?
Lisa Simpson: Isabel!
Homer Simpson: Ooh, spaghetti.
Homer Simpson: Y'ello! Lisa, you got a call from someone named Isabel.
Homer Simpson: May I ask what this is regarding? ... | |
Generate an episode of Seinfeld |
Kramer: Hey. Hey Elaine, what do you say if neither of us is married in ten years, we get hitched?
Elaine: Let's make it fifty.
Kramer: We're engaged! Alright, I'm gonna get my quilt. (Kramer leaves.)
Elaine: Alright, listen to this. Remember that guy I was telling you about at the health club?
Jerry: The fly-boy.
Ela... | |
Generate an episode of South Park. |
Kyle: Shut up about Jews, fatass! You don't know anything!
Stan: Oh God, here we go again.
Cartman: Oh yeah?! I saw Mel Gibson's movie, The Passion, and Mel Gibson says, in the movie, Jews are the Devil!
Kyle: He does not!
Cartman: How do you know?! I've seen The Passion thirty-four times now, Kyle! You haven't seen i... | |
Generate an episode of South Park. |
Billy: Come on, Mackey. We're waitin' for ya.
Mackey: Oh Jesus.
Stan: Mr. Mackey, you have to wake up! I don't belong here! I need to have my own regression therapy!
Bus Driver: Everyone on the bus now! We're runnin' late!
Mr. Yelman: Excuse me, I'm actually a sheep herder.
Driver: It's pronounced "hoarder," young man... | |
Generate an episode of South Park. |
Annie: Wow, what a bitch.
Mr. Slave: Sweetie, listen, I know you've done some "partying" in your private little rich life, but you don't even wanna know the kind of stuff I've done. I'm the real whore, and I'm telling you, it isn't great.
Paris: Oh yeah?! I challenge you to a whore-off!
Girls: Ooooo!
Men: Whore-off! W... | |
Generate an episode of Seinfeld |
Jerry: I've never seen him in Manhattan before; it's weird. So out of context.
Elaine: That man he's with is he wearing a cape?
Jerry: I believe he is wearing a cape.
Elaine: Why is Mr. Costanza with a man in a cape?
Jerry: Well, it is good cape weather. Cool. Breezy.
Elaine: Yeah, why a cape? Who wears a cape? Where ... | |
Generate an episode of Seinfeld |
Elaine: Who? Who is Ramon?
Jerry: He's the pool guy.
Elaine: What pool guy?
Jerry: Do me a favor. Just stick around while he's here.
Elaine: Yeah, no problem.
Elaine: You know, you have the slowest elevator in the entire city? That's hard to get used to when you're in so many other fast ones.
Jerry: Well, the apartmen... | |
Generate an episode of Seinfeld |
Lt. martel: Oh yeah? What's your name, son.
Officer: Ross.
Lt. martel: Ross. Do you see that person there, Ross?
Officer: Yes sir.
Lt. martel: She's dead. Have you got that?
Officer: Yes sir.
Lt. martel: Good. Now get out of here before you find yourself on transit patrol writing tickets to senior citizens with fake b... | |
Generate an episode of The Simpsons. |
Lisa Simpson: This is a little more rustic than I expected.
Bart Simpson: I'm not worried, Lis. You know why? Because of this...
Bart Simpson: The Krusty Brand seal of approval. You can only find it on products which meet the high personal standards of Krusty the Clown.
Krusty the Clown: Aaaahhhh!
Lawyer: Whoops, I sh... | |
Generate an episode of The Simpsons. |
Manjula Nahasapeemapetilon: But you don't know who he is.
Apu Nahasapeemapetilon: Who cares? There's only one of him!
Businessman: What if your babies could live in a place with 'round-the-clock child care, all expenses paid, full medical, dental, tutors, the works?
Apu Nahasapeemapetilon: I would say that there must ... | |
Generate an episode of The Simpsons. |
Marge Simpson: It sure was nice to have a day together as a couple.
Homer Simpson: Yeah, no kids to ruin it.
Marge Simpson: I thought the whole point of this trip was to have another baby.
Homer Simpson: Marge, I was just being a good husband by pretending to agree with you while secretly undermining your agenda.
Marg... | |
Generate an episode of South Park. |
Shopper 6: Well, what if we just walk really, really slow? Black Friday!
Randy: You're gonna have to walk slower than that. You've got a while.
Shopper 7: We can walk really slow. Look.
Randy: Smartasses.
Cartman: Paladin Butters, I was hoping I could talk to you about Lady McCormick
Butters: You mean Princess Kenny,... | |
Generate an episode of The Simpsons. |
Bart Simpson: Milhouse. Milhouse, wake up. Quick, look out the window.
Milhouse Van Houten: No way, Bart. If I lean over, I leave myself open to wedgies, Wet Willies, or even the dreaded Rear Admiral.
Bart Simpson: Otto, you gotta do something! There's a gremlin on the side of the bus!
Otto Mann: Hey, no problem-o, Ba... | |
Generate an episode of South Park. |
Gerald: Yes. You see, I spent a lot of time going to law school, and I was able to go because I have a slightly higher intellect than others. But I still need people to pump my gas, and make my French fries, and fix my laundry machine when it breaks down.
Kyle: Oooohh, I see. Gods and clods!
Gerald: That's right. So K... | |
Generate an episode of The Simpsons. |
Homer Simpson: No! Ignore the boy, Lord. Now can the chatter and bow your heads. Dear Lord, thank you for this microwaved bounty, even though we don't deserve it. I mean, our kids are uncontrollable hellions... pardon my French... but they act like savages! Did you see them at the picnic? Oh, of course you did. You're... | |
Love and Rocket - When the Planet Express ship gets a selectable personality upgrade, Bender chooses one and falls in love... but too briefly. | Generate an episode of Futurama. |
Fry: I've never been able to put into words how I feel about you. But somewhere among these trillions of hearts, those words must already exist. And I'm gonna find them.
Farnsworth: So, do we have the contract?
Farnsworth: With that big new Romanticorp contract, I've been able to make those government-mandated upgrade... |
Generate an episode of The Simpsons. |
Seymour Skinner: Welcome seniors and sexually precocious underclassmen. I'd like to say goodbye to those who are going off to college, or to fight in Gulf War Five: "Operation Find Our President's Head."
Kids: U-S-A! Find the head! U-S-A! Find the head!
Seymour Skinner: And now, here's Assistant Principal Kearney.
Ass... | |
Generate an episode of South Park. |
Cartman: Hey, everyone? Excuse me! Everybody, can I just have a second of your time, please? Everyone, listen up. Listen everybody, I uh... I owe Kyle a big apology and I... I wanna do it in fromt of everyone because... ugh... I was wrong, Kyle.
Kyle: About what?!
Cartman: I'm afraid that... Kyle and I got into a li... | |
Generate an episode of The Simpsons. |
Ms. Marshall: It hit me the next day, and I read the whole thing again. I thought we'd start the semester by turning this into a novel.
Lisa Simpson: Self-published?
Ms. Marshall: Real published.
Nelson Muntz: Haw-haw!
Nelson Muntz: This is it, Simpson. After this, your nose will not be an outtie.
Thought Bubble Marge... | |
Generate an episode of The Simpsons. |
Milhouse Van Houten: Fine. If you're so sure about that, why don't you sell your soul to me.
Bart Simpson: How much you got?
Milhouse Van Houten: Five bucks.
Bart Simpson: Deal.
Bart Simpson: There you go: one soul.
Milhouse Van Houten: Pleasure doing business with you.
Bart Simpson: Any time, chummmmm...p.
Dr. Julius... | |
Generate an episode of The Simpsons. |
BLEEDING GUMS: "O-oo-hhhhhhh... Oh Saaayyyyy can you..." -- I'm askin' -- "Can you s-e-e-e? ...By the d-a-a-a-w-wn's"
BLEEDING GUMS: ...and the rockets' red glareeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee... The bombs burstin'... shoot it out... poppin' way up in the air...rrrrrrrrr.
BLEEDING GUMS: And... the home... of the-e-e-... | |
Generate an episode of South Park. |
Jimmy: And the winner is... the Germans! Uhhh... I guess unfortunately the Germans could not be with us tonight. So I will accept this award on their behalf. Auf Wiedersehen. And now, for the Kathy Griffin Award. The Kathy Griffin Award will be given each year to the person who is most likely to actually show up to... | |
Generate an episode of The Simpsons. |
Homer Simpson: You just lost a box, pal!
Lisa Simpson: Wait, Santa's Little Helper had puppies before.
Lisa Simpson: And then we got him neutered.
Marge Simpson: We did -- Homer took him. Didn't you?
Homer Simpson: Yeah, well uh, funny thing about that...
Homer Simpson: On our way to the clinic, I decided to give him ... | |
Generate an episode of Seinfeld |
Elaine: Ah, you don't know anything. You see, "I don't know anything", means there's something to know. If you really didn't know anything you would have said "You're crazy."
Elaine: Oh, hi Mr. Lippman.
Lippman: Elaine,
Elaine: Um, uh, I was wondering if you got a chance to look at that , um, biography of Columbus, I ... | |
Generate an episode of South Park. |
Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, Aspen Mountain presents another ex-TREME racing showdown. Seven-time World Aspen champion Tad Mikowski versus eight-year-old Stan Marsh!
Tad: Hah! You're going down, little boy!
Stan: Yeah, prob'ly
Butters: Do you think Stan has a chance? Uh go Stan!
Stan: Fries... fries...
A skier: ... | |
Generate an episode of The Simpsons. |
Narrator: See that town? Goes by the name o' Springfield. Birthplace of the brass knuckle, the Nigerian Prince scam, and putting a tomato on your grilled cheese sandwich. Our story begins not long ago, on what seemed like a typical day.
Chief Wiggum: Ralphie, please. That's not for people, son.
Chief Wiggum: Aww, he's... | |
Generate an episode of Seinfeld |
Elaine: Well, at the latest. Oh hang on a second, I gotta another call.
Elaine: Hello?
Man: Good day Ms. Benes. Its Roger Ipswitch.
Elaine: Oh hey! How things doing in accounting?
Roger: Ms. Benes, I notice youve been charging quite a bit of merchandise on the Peterman account.
Elaine: Well, I am the President.
Roger:... | |
Generate an episode of The Simpsons. |
Mayor Joe Quimby: Lovejoy's an idiot -- his church is giving up hot gobs of gay green. He could get two hundred bucks a couple.
Homer Simpson: Two hundred bucks a couple, eh?
Homer Simpson: Hey, I gotta get in on this! These people have rights! The right to buy me a sixty-two inch TV!
Homer Simpson: Now begins the lon... | |
Generate an episode of South Park. |
Ms. Choksondik: Well, well, well! I'd say somebody has some explaining to do!
Cartman: You're damn right they do!
Kyle: Dude! Timmy's chair is packed with all that stuff! We've gotta help him!
Stan: Yeah!
Kyle: Come on!
Ms. Choksondik: Children! Children, come back here!
Stan: Timmy, you have to stop!
Nerd #1: No!
Sta... | |
Generate an episode of South Park. |
Gabriel: Nono, see, they were playing God when they put the feeding tube IN!
Anchor: A woman was arrested for trying to bring food to the patient.
Mrs. Garrison: Get your man-hands off of me!
Anchor: However, a growing number of people are also standing behind Kenny's BFF, Eric Cartman.
Man 1: We must respect the wish... | |
Generate an episode of Seinfeld |
Cop: What is your problem?
Jerry: Well, I'm sitting over there waiting for you to finish your sandwich for twenty minutes. Now you're drinking coffee, that's gonna be another ten minutes.
Cop: Well, you're just gonna have to wait.
Kramer: Never said anything about the banking.
Newman: You're off your rocker.
Jerry: He... | |
Generate an episode of Seinfeld |
Jerry: I had a little meeting today at NBC. What are you doing?
Kramer: You know, I went swimming and I can't get this water out of my ear.
Jerry: So do you remember five years ago, we did that pilot, "Jerry"? Well, the new guy at NBC wants to do it. They're putting it on the air! They're giving us a 13-episode commit... | |
Generate an episode of South Park. |
Resident 1: Oh wow, thank you so much! What a swift and speedy rescue!
Stan: Come on! We've gotta get to the roof!
Kyle: Oh Jesus, we have to hurry!
Stan: It's- it's helicopters! They finally came to help everyone!
Cartman: Not so fast, Kyle.
Kyle: What are you doing?
Cartman: Hand over the gold!
Kyle: What gold??
Car... | |
Time Keeps On Slippin' - After being challenged to a game of basketball by the planet of the Globetrotters, Prof. Farnsworth creates a team of mutant, atomic supermen, but the side effects of their rapid growth endangers the universe. | Generate an episode of Futurama. |
Bender: Ooh! Ooh! Bubblegum? My name's Bender and I'm a huge fan of your work, both on and off the court. Can I be a Globetrotter?
Tate: Shut up, turkey.
Farnsworth: Bubblegum, look at this. The background time radiation is fluctuating wildly.
Tate: Good Lord! That sucker's shaking around like some fine, imported boot... |
Generate an episode of The Simpsons. |
Lindsay Naegle: No, no. This station stands by its reporters. Say, what's that powder in your coffee? Is it cocaine?
Kent Brockman: No, it's Splenda.
Lindsay Naegle: Spare me your slang, pusher-man. You're fired!
Nelson Muntz: Haw haw! Your distinguished career is over!
Homer Simpson: Marge, the couch is lumpy!
Kent B... | |
The Beast with a Billion Backs: Part 2 - Bender starts stalking Calculon and ends up introduced to a special group. A depressed Fry enters the rift, while Farnsworth teams up with rival Wernstrom to collaborate on the rift problem. And tragedy strikes close to home for the crew. | Generate an episode of Futurama. |
Suicide Booth: You are now dead. Please take your receipt.
Bender: What's... What's happening?
Hooded Robot: Kneel before the candle.
Bender: Don't hurt me! I'll betray anyone!
Hooded Robot: Bender Bending Rodriguez...
Calculon: Welcome to the League of Robots!
Zapp: Ready? And... Fi-... Almost fooled you there. Fire!... |
Generate an episode of The Simpsons. |
Krusty the Clown: I think there's some space left on my butt. And now, here's another fine Itchy and Scratchy cartoon by Abraham Simpson.
Principal Dondelinger: Now, I'm going to uh burn this donut to show you how many calories it has.
Homer Simpson: Nooooooo!
Principal Dondelinger: The bright blue flame indicates thi... | |
Generate an episode of The Simpsons. |
Lisa Simpson: Get your hands off my future!
Bart Simpson: Fine, fine.
Lisa Simpson: New low, even for this family... college fund on a poker site... I'm just gonna log right out.
Lisa Simpson: Get outta here!
Lisa Simpson: Huh. Two queens. That's a great start.
Lisa Simpson: Well, maybe I can just win the sixty-two do... | |
Generate an episode of The Simpsons. |
Otto Mann: You know I can deal with your problem or I can rock out. But I cannot do both!
Otto Mann: WE'RE AN AMERICAN BAND / WE'RE AN AMERICAN BAND /
Otto Mann: WE'RE COMIN' TO YOUR TOWN / WE'LL HELP YOU PARTY DOWN / WE'RE AN AMERICAN BAND!
Lisa Simpson: Otto, help me!
Otto Mann: Fuuuuuuunk!
Otto Mann: What am I hear... | |
Generate an episode of Seinfeld |
George: So, Dad...
Frank: Gnats, too. If I'm not mistaken.
George: (pause) Dad! I heard you were in the city the other day!
Frank: (angry) Your mother has to tell you every move I make?!
George: Jerry and Elaine saw you.
Frank: They didn't say hello?
George: Well, they were in a rush.
Frank: They couldn't just say hel... | |
Generate an episode of South Park. |
Matt: That's right, we are going to have a reading of the first five chapters of the book here live in our studio. Na-now we must warn you that this is from the same author who wrote the most graphic, obscene novel of all time, so... brace yourselves for some very harsh language. Take it away Morgan Freeman.
Morgan Fr... | |
Generate an episode of South Park. |
Stan: Dude! Chef's wedding is in three hours. We've got that much time to find out how to destroy a Succubus.
Cartman: You know what?! Screw Chef! There, I said it! Screw him! Let him marry a succubus! I wanna go to sleep.
Kyle: Here! Here! Look at this. It says "The succubus enchants its victim with an eerie melody. ... | |
Generate an episode of The Simpsons. |
Nerd #1: Is that true?
Nerd #2: Let's get 'em!
Lawyer: Principal Skinner, "The Happiest Place on Earth" is a registered Disneyland copyright.
Seymour Skinner: Gentlemen, it's just a small school carnival.
Lawyer: And it's heading for a great big lawsuit. You made a big mistake, Skinner.
Seymour Skinner: Well, so did y... | |
Generate an episode of The Simpsons. |
CAPTAIN BOWDITCH: So, Cletus... Gitmo. What brings you fellas to The Relation Ship?
GITMO: Why won't you let me fail?!
CAPTAIN BOWDITCH: What about you, Bart... Homer? Homer?
Bart Simpson: What does that mean?
CAPTAIN BOWDITCH: Mainly climbing. Except for Wednesday night, when we project a movie on the sails. But real... | |
Generate an episode of South Park. |
Kyle: Yeah, but now we think maybe heaven isn't a place you can get to, maybe heaven is just an idea. A frame of mind or, or something gay like that. Maybe heaven... is this moment, right now.
General: So, you're saying we should bomb this moment, right now. Right! Johnson!
Johnson: Sir!
Randy: No, no. We shouldn't bo... | |
The Route of All Evil - Prof. Farnsworth's and Hermes' 12 year old sons combine forces to take over Planet Express, but their ambition is more than their ability and they need their fathers' help to save the day. | Generate an episode of Futurama. |
Hermes: Off on your first delivery, eh? You be careful, my little tinkler. Remember we used to call you that, huh? Tinkler?
Sal: Gets movin'! Those newspapers won'ts deliver themselveses! Only the Sunday edition can dos that.
Farnsworth: Goodness, there must be 50 papers in that bundle! That's a big number, 50.
Cubert... |
Generate an episode of South Park. |
Bradley: Humble yourselves therefore under God's might hand, that he may lift you up. - Peter 5:6
Director: Butters here is new to the camp. He's chosen to rid himself of his affliction and forge a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.
Butters: I'm bi-curious.
Bradley: Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman... | |
Generate an episode of Seinfeld |
Kramer: Oh, hey! Elaine, I just heard that Noreen and Paul are breaking up. I want you to put in a good word for me. (to Jerry) I've always had a thing for Noreen.
Elaine: No, Kramer. You don't understand. This could be my fault.
Kramer: Well, if she's available now, I'm not gonna let her slip through my fingers this ... | |
Generate an episode of The Simpsons. |
Homer Simpson: Eat, eat! You're nothing but skin and bones.
Marge Simpson: Ohh, how are you feeling, sweetie?
Lisa Simpson: Much better.
Marge Simpson: Oh my, you're burning up. I'm going to tell the school you're staying home.
Lisa Simpson: I'm afraid I can't allow that.
Marge Simpson: Lisa!
Lisa Simpson: Mom, no, wa... | |
Generate an episode of Seinfeld |
Jerry: No, I'm sorry, if Joe DiMaggio wants a donut, he goes to a fancy restaurant or a hotel. He's not sitting in Dinky Donuts.
Kramer: Well maybe he likes Dinky Donuts.
George: I don't even like to sit next to a man on an airplane 'cause our knees might touch.
Jerry: I can't see Joe DiMaggio sitting at the counter i... | |
Generate an episode of The Simpsons. |
Skinny Student: Don't worry, your parents have been called and will be here to pick you up shortly.
Homer Simpson: Marge, someone's squeezed all the life out of these kids. And unless movies and TV have lied to me, it's a crusty, bitter, old dean!
Dean Bobby Peterson: Hi there, hello, I'm Dean Peterson, but you can ca... | |
Generate an episode of The Simpsons. |
Ralph Wiggum: Yes! I love Lisa Simpson and when I grow up I'm going to marry her.
Lisa Simpson: Noooo!!
Lisa Simpson: Now you listen to me -- I don't like you. I never liked you, and the only reason I gave you that stupid valentine is `cause nobody else would!
Bart Simpson: Watch this, Lis. You can actually pinpoint t... | |
Generate an episode of The Simpsons. |
Samantha Stanky: That's in there?
Seymour Skinner: Don't worry. They'll forget. Just like they forgot about me in that tiger cage for eighteen agonizing months. Every night I'd wake up screaming. Well, let's meet your classmates.
Milhouse Van Houten: Hey Bart, was this thing right about your test?
Bart Simpson: To tho... | |
Generate an episode of South Park. |
Cartman: Well, I just, I kind of like having you around.
Shelly: What?! No you don't!
Cartman: No. Um seriously. See, I never had a brother or a sister. I think people that have a brother or a sister don't realize how lucky they are. Sure, they fight a lot, but you know there's always somebody there, somebody that's f... | |
Generate an episode of South Park. |
Aide 2: Don't worry, Mrs. Clinton, I'm sure everything will be fine.
Hillary: Thank you, Chris.
Chris: They know about the bomb!
Blond Russian: That is impossible! We took every measure to assure the bomb was hidden from sight.
Chris: Well somebody tipped off the CIA. I don't know how much they know, but security has ... | |
The Sting - Sent on the same mission which caused the deaths of the previous Planet Express crew, Leela mourns the apparent death of Fry. | Generate an episode of Futurama. |
Leela: I'll find Fry's coffin, get his corpse and keep it under my mattress to remind me that he's really dead. That'll prove I'm not insane.
Leela: OK, it's just an ordinary coffin. Containing my ordinary dead friend, who I killed.
Leela: What happened? Why am I in my apartment?
Farnsworth, Zoidberg, Hermes, Amy and ... |
Generate an episode of South Park. |
Pat: Everyone, the Word of God is going around the world and all your help is so greatly appreciated. Eh-oo What we need now is an argon crystal laser. Eh you see, an argon crystal laser can pierce thick space holes in a way that other lasers just can't. Send your money now. Uuh-I th-thank you.
Sally: Onadonakami?
Co... | |
Generate an episode of The Simpsons. |
Lisa Simpson: Dad's gonna slaughter that poor turkey!
Moe Szyslak: Not if I scare it away with this cougar call.
Lisa Simpson: You did it, Moe!
Homer Simpson: A cougar! Die, cougar!
Moe Szyslak: My leg! Aww, geez!
Homer Simpson: Got that cat right in the leg.
Lisa Simpson: Dad, you shot Moe!
Homer Simpson: Oh, no! Thi... | |
The Beast with a Billion Backs: Part 3 - A tentacle monster bursts forth from the rift with Fry as it's mouthpiece and it intends to join with all people on Earth. The Planet Express crew plan to stop the takeover and rescue Fry but can they succeed and will Bender help them? | Generate an episode of Futurama. |
Bender: Oh. Well, I'm just saying I'd like you to show an interest in my life, too.
Fry: Okay, let's catch up soon. But right now, I gotta go shove a tentacle into everyone in China.
Linda (Screaming): They're coming! Those horrible, horrible things are coming! (Calm) Morbo?
[Cut to] Morbo: As the universe falls prey ... |
Generate an episode of The Simpsons. |
Cora: Right through there, Santa Claus.
Homer Simpson: Mom, I swear on your eventual grave I will never, ever, let the police get their hands on you. Uh-oh.
Chief Wiggum: You guys are damn lucky. All you destroyed were bricks, mortar and attorneys.
Attorney: Remember me... as a drain on society.
Kent Brockman: Capture... | |
Generate an episode of The Simpsons. |
Country Singer: I COULD PLEASE MS. BARBRA STREISAND / BY SPITTIN' ON THE FLAG / OR STRANGLIN' A BALD EAGLE / ON THE COVER OF SOME MAG /
Country Singer: BUT I LOVE THIS COUNTRY / TO ME SHE HAS NO SINS / IF YOU DON'T BUY MY RECORD / THEN AL QAEDA WINS!
Homer Simpson: USA! USA!
Pig Owner: Of all the days for you to get a... | |
Generate an episode of Seinfeld |
Wilhelm: Yes sir, yes sir. (Opening the door)
Steinbrenner: We must find George.
Wilhelm: Yes sir.
Steinbrenner: Find him, Wilhelm!
Wilhelm: (from behind the closed door in the hallway)Yes sir.
Sue ellen: Excuse me, do you happen to know the gentleman across the hall?
Jerry (mesmerized): Yes, yes, I do.
Sue ellen: Do ... | |
Generate an episode of South Park. |
Butters: You promised me we wouldn't get in trouble!
Cartman: Butters. Butters.
Butters: Now everyone is gonna know what we were doing!
Cartman: Butters, I had to! Okay, I had to put it on the Internet!
Butters: WHY?!
Cartman: Because Stan saw the video on my phone, alright? If the video is only on my phone, then cle... | |
Generate an episode of The Simpsons. |
Trucker #2: Yep, just like we did to Jimmy Hoffa.
Trucker #1: Hey, shut up!
Trucker #3: Callin' all big rigs. Motor mouth on Highway Seven. You know what to do.
Various Truckers: Ten-four. / That's a big ten-four. / Ten-four.
Lisa Simpson: Mom, I need to get some sleep! I have a test tomorrow in birds suddenly appear.... | |
Generate an episode of South Park. |
Sheila: When I got pregnant with you, Kyle, your father and I were living with my parents in Newark. We knew we had to get out. Neither of us wanted our child to be from Jersey, so we moved. As far away as we could. But now I realize you can take the fetus out of Jersey, but you can't take Jersey out of the fetus.
Kyl... | |
Generate an episode of The Simpsons. |
Lisa Simpson: We have a fire alarm in the ventilation room!
Martin Prince: I'll check it out!
Martin Prince: SKIP, SKIP, SKIP TO MY LOU... Top of the morning, Nelson.
Nelson Muntz: And to you, Martin.
Martin Prince: SKIP TO MY LOU, MY DARLING...
Bart Simpson: Hey Nelson, what gives? Martin just skipped past you singin... | |
Generate an episode of The Simpsons. |
Marge Simpson: Who would do this to Bart?
Lisa Simpson: The person who hates Bart more than anyone else. Look!
Marge Simpson: Oh, yeah, that's really something.
Lisa Simpson: Mom, put your glasses on.
Marge Simpson: But they make me look dowdy...
Marge Simpson: My baby!
Bart Simpson: See? I hate me too! Now we can be ... | |
Generate an episode of Seinfeld |
Elaine: Oh god. Oh, Jerry it was so terrible what we just went through on the way home. (pouring a big shot of scotch) You wouldn't believe it. (pushing a bag of chips off the counter)
Jerry: (bending down to pick up the chips) Tell me what happened.
Elaine: (after pouring the shot in the sink while Jerry was distract... | |
Generate an episode of South Park. |
Reeve: Stem-cell research has made me stronger than I ever thought possible! Why stop now?!
Reporter: Uh Tom, apparently, Gene Hackman, the man who played Superman's enemy Lex Luthor in the movies, has now shown up as a celebrity protester of stem-cell research. If that isn't ironic, Tom, I don't knw what is.
Hackman:... | |
Generate an episode of Seinfeld |
Kramer (goes out on the terrace to look, and slips in the water): Well, how did this happen?
Karen: It must have been an accident.
Kramer: Accident? This was no accident. These doves were murdered.
Kramer: Well, that's it! She's out of the pageant!
Jerry: What? Why? What happened?
Kramer: Her birds are dead.
Jerry: Bi... | |
Generate an episode of Seinfeld |
Izzy: Oh, I see how it works now. (indicates Jerry) He knocks me outta commission, so (indicates Morty) you can strut around in your fancy number one shirt. (moves the bedcovers) Well, I'll show you who's number one.
Jerry: Mr Mandelbaum, please.
Izzy: It's go time.
Izzy: (pained) Ahh. My back. I can't move.
Morty: Ca... | |
Generate an episode of South Park. |
Stan: Saying something is so 2000 and anything is so 2009, you stupid ass wipe.
Boy 2: Come on guys. It's not worth it. We can do our Taylor Swifting somewhere else. Knock it off!
Cartman: Why don't you make me?
Lamont: Yesterday afternoon four kids went to the hospital for injuries resulting from memeing in front o... | |
Generate an episode of The Simpsons. |
C. Montgomery Burns: Let's keep the laughs coming, eh, Simpson? What say I make you my Executive In Charge Of Recreation -- No, no, better yet, my Prank Monkey.
Homer Simpson: Will you keep giving me money?
C. Montgomery Burns: I can't have my little monkey running around in rags.
Homer Simpson: Woo hoo!
Carl Carlson:... | |
Generate an episode of The Simpsons. |
Bart Simpson: Don't use that look on me. I invented that look.
C. Montgomery Burns: There he is, off in the distance!
Seymour Skinner: Okay, Bart. This is where it ends. Relinquish the lizards.
Seymour Skinner: I said relinquish!
Bart Simpson: Oh no! You killed 'em.
Seymour Skinner: Good riddance to bad lizards.
Bart ... | |
Generate an episode of The Simpsons. |
Marge Simpson: Fruit is nature's candy!
Marge Simpson: Whoa!
Bart Simpson: Nice try, Mr. Flanders, but I've got a story so scary you'll wet your pants.
Grampa Simpson: Too late.
Bart Simpson: From A-Apple to Z-Zebra, "Baby's First Pop-Up Book" is twenty-six pages of alphabetic adventure.
Edna Krabappel-Flanders: Bart,... | |
Generate an episode of Seinfeld |
Jerry: Well no, that's one. We have many others. We have an idea where, uh, I get into an accident with a guy who has no insurance and the judge sentences him to be my butler. (Everyone laughs) You know he cooks for me, he has to cook for me... He cleans my house, he's doin' my shopping, you know? I'm walkin' around w... | |
Generate an episode of The Simpsons. |
Bart Simpson: Hey, guys! Great to see ya.
Milhouse Van Houten: Get lost, Poindexter.
Richard: Yeah, beat it, Professor.
Lewis Clark: Why don't you go build a rocket ship, Brainiac?
Marge Simpson: Well, come on, you two. Don't forget about the film festival.
Bart Simpson: The what?
Homer Simpson: Sorry, Bart. Your moth... | |
Generate an episode of Seinfeld |
Bookman: Yeah, '71. That was my first year on the job. Bad year for libraries. Bad year for America. Hippies burning library cards, Abby Hoffman telling everybody to steal books. I don't judge a man by the length of his hair or the kind of music he listens to. Rock was never my bag. But you put on a pair of shoes when... | |
Generate an episode of The Simpsons. |
Sideshow Mel: Can't we shut down that infernal transmitter?
Patty Bouvier: Can we just blow it up?
Dr. Julius Hibbert: Go ahead, girlfriend.
Mayor Joe Quimby: Settle down, people. As we speak, Chief Wiggum is tracking down those little squealers, using the latest in crime-fighting technology.
Chief Wiggum: Ahh, I got ... | |
Generate an episode of Seinfeld |
Elaine: Forget it. You are very careful with money.
George: I'm cheap? You think I'm CHEAP? How could you say that to me? I can't believe this. How could you say that to me?
Elaine: You asked me to.
George: You should have lied.
Elaine: HUH, so should you.
Jerry: OK, wait a second, wait a second, what happened to my p... | |
Generate an episode of South Park. |
Terrance: Because you've reduced Canada Channel to smut and toilet humor!
Katherine: Oh. Well I suppose if we're going to die, we should die by the hands of our idols.
Terrance: Your idols?
Katherine: We grew up watching you. You meant the world to us. We used to fantasize about pleasing you in all different ways. Kno... | |
Generate an episode of South Park. |
Field Reporter: And and you claim that a General Tso hired your friend, Fatass, to steal the ballots, but so far the Chinese are refusing to speak with us.
Kyle: Yeah, probably 'cause General Tso's chicken.
Field Reporter: Is that it? Did he just? Did he just?
Wolf Blitzer: Yup. Chris, we're getting confirmation that ... | |
Generate an episode of Seinfeld |
Jerry: Yeah.
George: Where does he come off?
Jerry: Yeah, I know. There's no call for that kind of attitude.
George: One of the guys in my cell threw a piece of gum at him.
Jerry: Oh, we all hated him.
Jerry: We're dead.
George: We're not dead.
Jerry: We are dead.
George: Come on. We got all day tomorrow to come up wi... | |
Generate an episode of South Park. |
Kyle: You won't get more votes than us, asshole!
Cartman: Game on, Jew-boy!
Butters: Yeah, game on, Jew-boy!
Kyle: Be sure to vote for Giant Douche.
Kenny: (Giant Douche! Vote for him!)
Kyle: Giant Douche is your man!
Stan: Kyle, aren't you taking this a little too far? I mean, do we really want a giant douche to be o... | |
Generate an episode of South Park. |
Cartman: Papa Smurf was displeased at first, He told Smurfette I wasn't a real Smurf and we could never be happy. But I eventually proved myself to Papa Smurf by picking more Smurfberries than any Smurf had ever Smurfed before. Finally, all was right with the world. But then, a crisis. Clumsy Smurf burst into the Smu... | |
Generate an episode of Seinfeld |
George: Well, you're gonna have to go to the bathroom!
Mike: Well, you're gonna have to go to work!
George: I don't have a job!
Mike: Neither do I!
Referee: Seven... Eight... Nine... Ten. *ding*
Jerry: I have a friend who is about to get married, they're having the bachelor party and the bridal shower on the same day.... | |
Generate an episode of South Park. |
Cartman: Concerned citizens, I thank you for coming. I know that you are all deeply troubled and want to find a quick and painful way to get rid of Scott Tenorman once and for all! Yes, Clyde!
Clyde: Who's Scott Tenorman?
Kids: Yeah.
Kyle: Scott Tenorman is an eighth grader who sold Cartman his pubes for ten dollars... | |
Generate an episode of The Simpsons. |
Ned Flanders: Now boys, we're gonna film the world's first and some would say best murder mystery -- the story of Cain and Abel!
Todd Flanders: Daddy, if Cain and Abel were Adam and Eve's only children, how did they make more babies?
Rod Flanders: Did they make babies with their Mother? Or with each other?
Ned Flander... | |
Generate an episode of The Simpsons. |
Lisa Simpson: He's giving them a bath!
C. Montgomery Burns: There you are, there ya go li'l' fella, and you...
C. Montgomery Burns: Smithers, look! He's standing up! I've never seen anything so adorable. You know who it reminds me of...
Waylon Smithers: Benji?
C. Montgomery Burns: No.
Waylon Smithers: Lassie?
C. Montg... | |
Generate an episode of The Simpsons. |
Ned Flanders: Well, I've seen about enough.
Homer Simpson: So, Flanders, what do you think of the house that love built?
Homer Simpson: Aw, shoot.
Ned Flanders: Oh, now, calm down Neddilly-diddily-diddily-diddily-diddily... They did their best... Shoddily-iddily-iddily-diddily... Gotta be nice... hostility-ilitity-bil... | |
Generate an episode of South Park. |
Cartman: Well, we would tour, but we just hate that Scott Tenorman kid so much that we don't want to. Yeah. Scott Tenorman is totally not cool! He's not cool!
Cartman: Wow, that really sucks for you, Scott. Scott? Ha haha ha ha ha! Did you see that? Scott mast have ran home so embarrassed! Ha ha ha ha. And you know ... | |
Generate an episode of South Park. |
Maury: What names do they call you at school?
Butters: Aaahhh well, aaahmm, ...I guess they call me uh, Chinball Boy, and uh, Ballchin Boy, nnnd when I, when I'm walkin' they'll say, "Hey, there goes Chinballs!"
Maury: And do they call you "freak" and "weirdo"?
Butters: Well yeah, I s'psoe
Maury: Do they point at you ... | |
Generate an episode of The Simpsons. |
Lisa Simpson: Mom, how could you pay someone to be my friend?!
Lisa Simpson: Answer me!
Marge Simpson: I wouldn't say I paid someone to be your friend. I just gave her money for records and ice cream.
Homer Simpson: You gave away ice cream?!
Lisa Simpson: I would've found a friend eventually. You couldn't wait a damn ... |
End of preview. Expand in Data Studio
YAML Metadata Warning:The task_categories "conversational" is not in the official list: text-classification, token-classification, table-question-answering, question-answering, zero-shot-classification, translation, summarization, feature-extraction, text-generation, fill-mask, sentence-similarity, text-to-speech, text-to-audio, automatic-speech-recognition, audio-to-audio, audio-classification, audio-text-to-text, voice-activity-detection, depth-estimation, image-classification, object-detection, image-segmentation, text-to-image, image-to-text, image-to-image, image-to-video, unconditional-image-generation, video-classification, reinforcement-learning, robotics, tabular-classification, tabular-regression, tabular-to-text, table-to-text, multiple-choice, text-ranking, text-retrieval, time-series-forecasting, text-to-video, image-text-to-text, image-text-to-image, image-text-to-video, visual-question-answering, document-question-answering, zero-shot-image-classification, graph-ml, mask-generation, zero-shot-object-detection, text-to-3d, image-to-3d, image-feature-extraction, video-text-to-text, keypoint-detection, visual-document-retrieval, any-to-any, video-to-video, other
13,217 sets split to 512 LLaMa tokens. Each output was trimmed to the nearest \n at 512 or less tokens, since KoboldCPP's chat format always formats it with names like this;
\nJerry: Hello. I'm Jerry\nBob: Hi. I'm Bob..
Since there's 980 episodes, and it needs to be chunked into 512 tokens, there ends up being 13,217 splits. That's ~13.49 splits for each episode.
TV Shows Added:
- 114 - Futurama
- 568 - The Simpsons
- 24 - Seinfeld
- 274 - South Park
Plans:
- I need to augment the instructions so that is way more varied, and natural (like maybe some are capitalized, or some spelt slightly wrong, or some have weird wording, etc).
- Possibly make each sample overlap by a small amount like 10-35%, potentially helping it understand contexts better?
Original Datasets:
- Downloads last month
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