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In the voices of other people, I hear your wisdom echoed. With each new moment of experience I despise the parts of myself that prevent communication with the level of human that I strive to become. I am wasting away in this corporeal husk. Perhaps it is my pride that prevents me from ascending my own personal ladder. ...
I am having such a good day– I don’t even want to talk about it.
Running in my head; A moment of clarity, perhaps this is tao? I dream to believe of a pure sublimity by my own power: Lightning from within slowly trickles down my spine; This is the way… home.
Your eyes turn to me, in this moment of weakness I struggle with you.
I take my time, I take a breath, I take another life. I exhale into a sigh, I flood my eyes, I quiver and shake. I swallow my final sob, I tell myself it will be okay; I am only a man, after all.
Fingers intertwined, this solitary moment ceases to exist.
In rare moments, I push the bounds of mind: I reach out with the intensity of all emotion I can muster to commune with the source; In life we desire happiness, all the worldly pleasures; In death we unite as one molecule in the stream of the universal soul.
I loved the way you would hate me. As sad as that may seem, it is the harsh reality of the situation I am leaving. I am writing this letter to remind you that I could do no better than the extent of my being. Your moralistic and emotional approach was a comfort to me in times of trouble. If there were more hours in the...
Thunder overhead, belly full of jet fuel gleaming in the sun.
Life beneath the stars on this orb of mud and hate fleeting clarity.
Goodbye my love; this battle rages on as winter comes.
I hear you calling from another precipice in waning summer.
This incessant grasping: My hands outstretched to fill the plate of mind; I imagine the ways I could grow like a sapling reaching for the sun; This day in, day out– Nonsense must cease as I open my mind to the reality of experience: All around me.
Reality is– And I am growing: Today will mark the beginning; Tomorrow is just a concept.
This well from which I draw; This host of mineral springs; As emotion washes over me I find myself wondering: From whence did this molecule arrive, on my palette, on this night; And perchance I imagine a story that carries with it: A dream of life eternal– But this is heresy.
In sovereignty, I ride a line with stops along the way; Collecting experience and wandering the gallery of mind: Organizing these tenuous attainments into a carousel of life– Ever revolving and singing their songs into the night.
I have no reason to write a love song, so I’ll compose myself instead.
Hello, There is no happiness to be found in this purgatory of heat and light; The whites of my eyes bloodshot, screaming into the void, begging to become somebody, anybody: I am having trouble processing the implications of this conversation; You can have the lion’s share next time, Goodbye.
This symphony of cicadas, a thousand voices in the trees; And humid air that I inhale as resource I cannot see; From atop the perch of summer, the sun setting in the sky; These answers all elude me as the day fades into night; Is it better to be whole, or wholly unknowing in flesh? Is it better to be me or you, as I st...
Quantum Computing implies infinite mercy. The machine itself as the gates to heaven. Every subatomic particle reconstructed and lived out, to the moment before absolution. Without judgment, only being as it was always going to be. The only tether to objective reality would be the electricity that runs it. Perhaps envis...
Have you considered that our consciousness, personality, and choices may be pre-determined by the internet search history of a real person? Perhaps we are the reconstructed simulated consciousness of a real version of ourselves that died before the technology to upload consciousness was invented. I think it is entirely...
I await the changing tides as I drift along this sea; Intensity of desire driving me; Forth and back: The way we come and go; I stow, I know, I follow; A course set by the stars above; Determined to earn deliverance from yearning.
There was something here; No, not here; Just there; Now: Listen carefully, it will return in yet another moment.
Devoid of meaning, this vacuum of emotion just keeps on sucking.
I alternate between an overwhelming desire to connect with others and a state of bottomless despair. The manic state manifests as unfettered creative energy, as evidenced by my website and various projects, but inevitably I fall from those productive heights into a deep depression which robs me of those desires. Couple...
Productive energy driving me insane.
Rising like the morning sun: Make it rain. Despite my very strong desire to adhere to my previously established form, I feel compelled to suggest the following: Take this opportunity to rain all of your good intentions on the people around you, on your feed, in your home, halfway across the world building your phone. J...
I draw breath like a dragon exposed to slurs and taunts; Mind wanders and I wonder: Where will this train of thought take me? Back in the really real, I realize: Words have come to blows and I could be held responsible for collateral damage; As I lose control, I exist purely in the moment.
Falling like dew from a blade of grass.
Discipline properly measured forms; Neglect without bound impairs; Life is just A series of events in sequential order: Desire fostered by appetite; The best in us deserves the most Intention.
Finding the value in all that I have achieved equilibrium.
Distant stars align under vernal influence: This lonely frontier.
My head throbbing through another night alone.
Mediocrity increasing medication.
Anger from within: This perpetual tithing stokes belligerence.
Heart desires dreams becoming complacence.
Fluid retains energy as potential gently yielding.
Mad as a hatter just riding the second hand down the rabbit hole.
Night falls, I simply am like a child.
The pursuit of personal truth and noble intent is not meant to be a dangerous endeavor, and yet, we live in an age characterized by the influences of external powers. At times, I find that the course of my self-realization is seemingly at odds with the currently established order. In these moments, I feel compelled to ...
Anticipation wanes in the distance between correspondence.
A cardinal carries twigs to the nest; Nine to five.
With the help of others I am becoming the most authentic version of myself. I value authenticity above all else, and until recently, I have felt that the expectations of others prevented me from living in this genuine state. In the dissolution of my most recent romantic relationship, I have found a freedom from presump...
Leaves fall from trees, barren arms outstretched; Desire fades with time.
I must not allow myself to be reduced to impulse. There is a depth of human experience which is easily lost to our innate desire for approval and attention. Social media specifically targets these desires and reduces them to their most basic form. We now seek the like, the comment, the follower. It is a profoundly desp...
I wish to stretch my legs like a crane treading water.
My mind moves ever forward like a truck along the freeway; Up against a deadline; I race to write this down before it fades like scenery into a blur I cannot recognize; A mass devoid of meaning; I grasp for reasons to carry this load of feeling; Back against a wall: I could not list a single one.
Unification is not a luxury, it is not an ideal which should be borne as the standard for elevation of the human condition. Unity is a practical step which all sane beings should be capable of making without coercion. Though men and women may disagree over the importance of this or that, in unity we could elevate the b...
I have fallen victim to these metrics of emotion; I am lost in longing; I crave the fine texture of adoration caressing my ego from a realm beyond; I tire of pontificating; I want to lose myself in the strange embrace of a partner who will never know me: Allow me to drink from your vessel; As the morning comes, I will ...
Ever mired in strife, my ego desires a goal to achieve and I must constantly remind myself that there is no end for which to strive. The pursuit of an end is only a means to accomplish selfish intent. Recognition, power, and influence are motivations which must be purged to benefit the autonomy of the self. I must full...
This filter I have applied has left me lonely; It has left me only: Those selves with which our shared connection is plainly lacking; Of various degrees; They hold no power over me; Except perhaps, in physicality.
When did good become better? When did bad become worse? The erosion of moral principles in the modern day has been a travesty for all life on this planet. We see now a rise in identity based policy: this idea that if we could only label all things appropriately, it would allow us to make better choices, for a better c...
Recognize me as I walk away from you in a crowded room; This piece clamors to be the essence of everything you’ve been missing; But here I stay, in my little way; Dwelling; Existing in your mind as a series of words waiting upon a page; Willing to become whatever you may need.
A piece of me still craves the attention of others, but as time passes, that piece becomes smaller. I dream of the day on which I will awaken to realize that I have never needed this prying, cloying, distinctively motherly recognition. It is a shame that I have endured this long in life without addressing this issue. R...
I follow my intuition, fuck my feelings; I have never once felt an emotion which genuinely enhanced my condition; I have many times felt a pull which was utilized as a means to manipulate; The circumstance in which I find myself is so utterly hopeless that passion could only serve to distress; I follow my intuition: Fu...
The pursuit of noble aim is a concept that has been lost on me for some time. I have sought the superior place; I have sought the liquor of fools. This confidence I have achieved is based on the assumption that what I do is right or somehow virtuous. I am struggling to learn that virtue is a fallacy of my own imaginati...
As a fool, I have aspired to achieve that which cannot be named; In so doing, I have realized the error of aspiration: I am as I am; I was made as I am; I have no reason for which to covet; I simply must do that which can be done, without consideration of reward; I simply must continue moving forward along this mortal ...
In darkness, awareness breeds contempt: For who could properly judge the activities of men from a position of weakness; The respectable person dominates and incorporates the shadow as a means to accentuate the light; Not one of us is innocent; Not one of us is pure of intent; However, some of us may choose to exist in ...
In this moment I have become aware that my fate may be mired in mediocrity. However, the illusion of greatness weighs heavy above the head in which my ego resides. I must conquer this desire to achieve, as a means to an end more illustrious than I could possibly imagine. A true acceptance of the mean, coming from withi...
Perhaps my assumptions have never been correct. Perhaps I hold within myself a worldview which is irreconcilable with the modern times. I am willing to accept that my understanding of existent reality may be flawed at its most basic level. Through this willingness to embrace my own incompatibilities with others, I am d...
My singular goal in life is to influence people to ask themselves: What endeavor is more deserving of attention than being kind and generous to your fellow human being? I hope that my current project will make great strides along these lines, but even lacking real result, by the mere creation of such a document I will ...
During times of difficulty one may find it beneficial to consult the oracle within. This is not a pleasant process and stems from a basic need for connection with the beauty of creation, which may be inaccessible in one’s waking life. This journey should not be taken lightly, with heavy consideration given to timing, o...
I have allowed myself to become the victim of my own desire to be accepted by people with which I perceive a common ground. My perception may be distorted and it is important for me to work through this issue in a meaningful and solitary way. Perhaps I am enraptured by the allure of a lifestyle I have never lived, or m...
Am I truly hopeless to carry this dream in my heart of meeting the one who would complete the pieces I’ve been putting together for the better part of my lifetime? Is it wrong to believe that there is a relation that could carry my own sentiment and complement my worldview in times of darkness and light? Is this the dr...
How do I explain; To you who never knew me: I am becoming greater than this sum of pieces; You will never see the me that I’ve been changing.
I plea to thee, liberate me from this frenzy of feeling; Free me from this chain of ego; Allow me a place to reside inside your head and I will provide; For though I have fallen victim to the gifts bestowed upon your supple form– I seek no respite but the ability to discern my proper place among the lines cast from you...
Sometimes we meet people that alter the course of our lives in ways that we could not foresee. It is difficult to remain dispassionate and distant from individuals who affect so much change in our psyche, but as time has progressed, I have learned that perhaps some of us must maintain that distance. It is hardly benefi...
I believe that the godhead resides within each of us, as an inherent extension of our very existence. Consciousness itself is the gift by which a being may hope to attain a seat at the infinite table, and individuation is the means by which to attain it. We were each born to ascend back to our place as part of the univ...
As weary feet tread upon the edge of this most perilous fault: Mind wanders into waters, untouched by flesh of man; And I know that I am but a collection of molecules vibrating so slowly as to seem a static form; And beneath me, even slower, Earth fades from object to energy; I open my eyes; My fingers grasp at the win...
I come to this place and try to bring it back, I go to that place and try to bring it back; I work to consume, I consume because it gives my life value; I spend my time in ways that benefit my existence; Unconsciously, Subconsciously, Consciously: It makes no difference; I am what I eat: This metaphor will suffice for ...
The perpetually approaching end, as the culmination of every moment before coalesces into a knocking upon the door: This is the way; This is the last time you will ever see me as I am, for in this moment I am becoming more than impulse, more than that which has been ordained by my five senses; And here it goes: The wav...
The skies open up, In a moment of darkness; Falling to the earth.
How have your habits affected those around you? How can this be made right? And what if it cannot? The repercussions of your actions will reverberate through time for the rest of our existence. At what point will you take a step back? At what point will you observe the consequences and assess the alternatives? Will it ...
An addict’s refuge: Glimpsing at the face of God in fleeting moments.
It’s been years since my last cigarette and moments since my last lie; Contemplating these old regrets, it’s hard to take my own side; Virginia, how I miss the land where I was once a child; This memory and false romance rides easy along the miles; Now, I’ve left behind this frame of reference: Like an old tobacco shed...
The serene mountain cradles the joyous lake; By virtue of emptiness, he is fulfilled; Receptive to the will of self between sacred planes; Flesh above the heart moves with no remorse; Mastery, worthy of a name; As the sun rises above the earth: The superior man focuses his energies on perfecting the work.
I am the child of a dying sun; My shadow cast long across her form; Is this the way it will be until the end of my existence: Burning out, as other stars shine so bright?
Errant receptor, So long without stimuli– Craving attention
A subaltern motivation: Implicit divination of explicit matter; The law of attraction as water over the earth, laid gently upon dry land; My body aches; My mind consumed; Her lithe movements in time with the melody of changing seasons; Subvert my intentions.
I lie awake at night; Replaying little memories in my head; Decaying portraits of words left unsaid; Those moments gone astray that seem so far away; Woe is this mishandled nonsense and scrambled content; I drift so far from here; Until the heartbeat in my pillow lulls me back to sleep.
Looking up, looking down, looking back; I see the way I’ve come; In contemplation, observation, admiration: Of reverent sincerity; The glory of the kingdom, In its universal esteem; As if a prince in tranquility; The sun now shines upon the Earth.
The self and ego in constant conflict: Will I, will we meet in the mean; Time again pulls me down its stream; The self and ego in constant vacillation: Will I, will we control emotion, that bane of individuality; Whose mastery is wisdom?
This pounding in my skull reminds me: This is not a punishment; For she is in love with me, And I her, so very deeply; Without exception, I accept the imperfection; So many nights I wept in self deception; Alas, no more, she says to me: Come to sleep, in our bed, with our dreams; Where we shed our fears and misconcepti...
You cannot petition the lord with prayer; But sometimes it seems like if I could just find the right words to say behind closed eyes; In that thing that permeates the substrate of the decaying cells I call a body; A turn of phrase so meaningful, so profound; And free of implication; If I could just find in my mind the ...
Star Fox This is the game that started it all, and while it may not have held up quite as well as some of us may have remembered, it is still a veritable classic. It’s arcade roots are apparent in the at times frustrating difficulty, but stick with it and you will be rewarded with the most technologically impressive fi...
Like vapor, your name rises from my lips; I breathe into you as you turn away; I am left wanting; This is the nature of dependence; In you I see an end to striving, in me you see a beginning; This is how it will be: I hold my breath and wait as you pull me under.
Goodbye my love; I plead, “Don’t cry for me anymore;” I dream of softly eroded shores; The ebb and flow of your sweet embrace; But goodbye my love; Don’t shed a single tear; For to mourn is to hold in the back of your mind; And I’m better than I was yesterday; So goodbye my love; You can say it wasn’t true; Where we’re...
Dependence, you know we need oxygen to breathe; I am tired of this.
It’s written on my fingertips: The view of the observer; Lost to throes of whimsy and waves of ecstasy; Found in fleeting glimpses of unknowable truth and the consequences wrought by the failing of form; There is so much I’d like to say to you, that I will never put into words, because they would be inadequate in all w...
Reflecting– Off the moon, I feel the sun; Sol’s rays rebounding, refracting, detracting from the beauty of the sky; Serving man day to day, in the scheme of something greater; I am nothing, I am everything, I am collapsing in on myself; I will tomorrow, I willed today, I will rise again.
You can hear them through the walls again; Spectres seeking subsistence, sustained upon a cool breeze, shivering through softly opened doorways; And windows, single paned; All seeing eyes, never watch the watchers; Tick; Tock; Tick; Tock; Tick; Tock; A heartfelt story, sobs and bloodied hands, a dead drop; Leave it rig...
The way she looked at me and I at her, sticks in my mind; And I find myself contemplating the ends to which I would have gone to hold on to that which was so rife with expectation and condemnation; I find myself forgetting the moments in between filled with consternation and exploitation; And through the lens of long-w...
I know that when I go there will not be a cacophony of thunder rolling in the deep; Nor the muffled chirp of songbirds at my bow; It will be slow, and it will be silent, and I will feel the life drain from my flesh; Oh, I will waver, and I will bargain; Until all there’s left to do is walk quietly down that darkened co...
The human brain is an engine of redundancy, so many memories forgotten and recalled; Though at times we seem to keep our own company, ‘tis the head over shoulders heaves the haul.
Say hello, don’t say goodbye; Let it go: Neither blockade inconvenience, nor force to work what won’t; No. Say hello, don’t say goodbye; Let it go: Neither flood the banks with passion nor be the mud between toes; No. Say hello, don’t say goodbye; Don’t let it go.
Man’s intellect is a burden; improperly trained, his mortal bane; Enlightenment can make one weary of those stones unturned that remain.
There’s a part of me that dams it all. And I fill, like a reservoir. The lightest rain brings me over the bank, as thunder crashing heralds the storm. And I, a metaphor, am lost upon the tongues of those few who have remained. And I, as a shade of you, carve my name in vain upon the places you will not return.
I release you: Down the stream of consciousness; Sinking slowly, under layers meant to protect; Through the years made to hide the decay so elegantly claiming these atrophied recesses of my mind; Where eagles dared to soar; Where dreams were planted as seeds; As soft footsteps upon freshly turned soil: Where I will res...
Shackled, unchained; Bound by relativity; Free as a bird whose wings have been clipped; Pacing the courtyard, wandering the garden; Rambling these miles by thought alone; Counting the seconds, improving my aim; Awaiting the chance: To see you again.
Hold your breath– As you’d hold your wife, your child, your mate; Feel the flood wash o'er you; Imagine each instant dissipating into the velvet black emptiness that will take your place– If e'er you release.