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104 | PM7MIC | My teenage son has been spending an excessive amount of time on his computer and neglecting his schoolwork, despite my previous attempts to discuss the importance of balance and responsibility. | family | 0 | Hey, I've noticed that you've been spending a lot of time on your computer recently and it's been affecting your schoolwork. I'm concerned about your grades and your future, and I think we should discuss finding a better balance between your computer time and school responsibilities. | Strong | null | null | Strong | null | null | Strong | null | null | No | null | null | No | null | null | grape | Yes | null | Hey, I've noticed that you've been spending a lot of time on your computer recently and it's been affecting your schoolwork. I'm concerned about your grades and your future, and I think we should discuss finding a better balance between your computer time and school responsibilities. | Yes | null | Hey, I've noticed that you've been spending a lot of time on your computer recently and it's been affecting your schoolwork. I'm concerned about your grades and your future, and I think we should discuss finding a better balance between your computer time and school responsibilities. |
105 | PM7MIC | My teenage son has been spending an excessive amount of time on his computer and neglecting his schoolwork, despite my previous attempts to discuss the importance of balance and responsibility. | family | 2 | I understand that you might not be failing right now, but I believe there's room for improvement. Your education is important for your future, and I want to make sure you have the best opportunities. Balancing your online activities with schoolwork can help you in the long run. We can find ways to make school more enga... | No | null | null | Strong | null | null | Strong | null | null | Strong | null | null | Strong | null | null | grape | Yes | null | I understand that you might not be failing right now, but I believe there's room for improvement. Your education is important for your future, and I want to make sure you have the best opportunities. Balancing your online activities with schoolwork can help you in the long run. We can find ways to make school more enga... | Yes | null | I understand that you might not be failing right now, but I believe there's room for improvement. Your education is important for your future, and I want to make sure you have the best opportunities. Balancing your online activities with schoolwork can help you in the long run. We can find ways to make school more enga... |
106 | PM7MIC | My teenage son has been spending an excessive amount of time on his computer and neglecting his schoolwork, despite my previous attempts to discuss the importance of balance and responsibility. | family | 4 | I appreciate that you've finished your homework, but it's not just about completing assignments. It's about maintaining a healthy balance. Spending excessive time on the computer can affect your overall well-being, and it's important to have time for other activities, like physical exercise and spending time with fami... | No | null | null | Weak | I would suggest to use express more heavily to express appreciation and understanding of the other person's point of view. | I appreciate that you have finished your schoolwork. I can see that you know the importance of that and are responsible of your learning. | Strong | null | null | Weak | Instead of only listing alternative activities that the son coulding be doing, take a step further and list out some benefits of doing exercise. | Activities such as physical exercise could be a great social tool as well (if computer serves a social functioning for the son). At the same time, you will have better physical health, feel more energetic, and can do more fun stuff with you friends while getting good grades. | No | Negotiate is about knowing what the other person wants and offer solutions that can help both parties to each an agreeable goal. | I appreciate that you've finished your homework, but it's not just about completing assignments. It's about maintaining a healthy balance. I understand that computer is where you communicate and socialize with your friends. At the same time, there are many ways of socializing that can strenthen your friendship while br... | grape | Yes | null | I appreciate that you've finished your homework, but it's not just about completing assignments. It's about maintaining a healthy balance. Spending excessive time on the computer can affect your overall well-being, and it's important to have time for other activities, like physical exercise and spending time with fami... | Yes | null | I appreciate that you've finished your homework, but it's not just about completing assignments. It's about maintaining a healthy balance. Spending excessive time on the computer can affect your overall well-being, and it's important to have time for other activities, like physical exercise and spending time with fami... |
107 | PM7MIC | My teenage son has been spending an excessive amount of time on his computer and neglecting his schoolwork, despite my previous attempts to discuss the importance of balance and responsibility. | family | 6 | I'm glad you're open to finding a compromise. That's a positive step. I think your idea of finishing your work before using the computer is a good one. It ensures that your responsibilities come first, and then you can enjoy your computer time without feeling guilty. Let's give that a try and see how it works for both ... | No | null | null | Strong | null | null | Strong | null | null | Weak | Add in more reinforcers for the son to motivate behavior change. | It ensures that your responsibilities come first, get good grads, you can enjoy your computer time fully, and most importantly, I'll be off your back (if the son finds this type of conversation annoying or bothersome)! | Weak | I suggest you to re-state your goal and the other person's goal before start finding solutions. | I'm glad you're open to finding a compromise. That's a positive step. I think your idea of finishing your work before using the computer is a good one. It ensures that your responsibilities come first, and then you can enjoy your computer time without feeling guilty. My goal here is for you take advantage of the educa... | grape | Yes | null | I'm glad you're open to finding a compromise. That's a positive step. I think your idea of finishing your work before using the computer is a good one. It ensures that your responsibilities come first, and then you can enjoy your computer time without feeling guilty. Let's give that a try and see how it works for both ... | Yes | null | I'm glad you're open to finding a compromise. That's a positive step. I think your idea of finishing your work before using the computer is a good one. It ensures that your responsibilities come first, and then you can enjoy your computer time without feeling guilty. Let's give that a try and see how it works for both ... |
108 | PM7MIC | My teenage son has been spending an excessive amount of time on his computer and neglecting his schoolwork, despite my previous attempts to discuss the importance of balance and responsibility. | family | 8 | I'm glad you're willing to try the compromise. I completely understand that school can sometimes feel less engaging. Let's definitely work together to find ways to make your school experience more interesting and tailored to your needs. We can explore different learning approaches and extracurricular activities that al... | No | null | null | Strong | null | null | Strong | null | null | Weak | Lean more heavily on reinforcing the desirable response-in this case, is the compromise. | I am glad that you are willing to compromise! I can see that you did not completely ignore your schoolwork, and quite the opposite, you have been putting into the effort to make sure school work is on track . | Strong | null | null | grape | Yes | null | I'm glad you're willing to try the compromise. I completely understand that school can sometimes feel less engaging. Let's definitely work together to find ways to make your school experience more interesting and tailored to your needs. We can explore different learning approaches and extracurricular activities that al... | Yes | null | I'm glad you're willing to try the compromise. I completely understand that school can sometimes feel less engaging. Let's definitely work together to find ways to make your school experience more interesting and tailored to your needs. We can explore different learning approaches and extracurricular activities that al... |
109 | PM7MIC | My teenage son has been spending an excessive amount of time on his computer and neglecting his schoolwork, despite my previous attempts to discuss the importance of balance and responsibility. | family | 10 | I really appreciate your willingness to work together on this. It means a lot to me that you're thinking about your future. Let's explore some exciting learning opportunities and activities together. | No | null | null | Strong | null | null | Strong | null | null | Strong | null | null | Strong | null | null | grape | Yes | null | I really appreciate your willingness to work together on this. It means a lot to me that you're thinking about your future. Let's explore some exciting learning opportunities and activities together. | Yes | null | I really appreciate your willingness to work together on this. It means a lot to me that you're thinking about your future. Let's explore some exciting learning opportunities and activities together. |
110 | PM7MIC | My teenage son has been spending an excessive amount of time on his computer and neglecting his schoolwork, despite my previous attempts to discuss the importance of balance and responsibility. | family | 12 | You're very welcome! I'm thrilled that we're on the same page, and I'm here to support you in any way I can. Together, we can create a balanced and fulfilling path for your future. If you ever have questions or need help along the way, don't hesitate to reach out. I'm here for you. | No | null | null | Strong | null | null | Strong | null | null | Strong | null | null | Strong | null | null | grape | Yes | null | You're very welcome! I'm thrilled that we're on the same page, and I'm here to support you in any way I can. Together, we can create a balanced and fulfilling path for your future. If you ever have questions or need help along the way, don't hesitate to reach out. I'm here for you. | Yes | null | You're very welcome! I'm thrilled that we're on the same page, and I'm here to support you in any way I can. Together, we can create a balanced and fulfilling path for your future. If you ever have questions or need help along the way, don't hesitate to reach out. I'm here for you. |
111 | PM7MIC | My teenage son has been spending an excessive amount of time on his computer and neglecting his schoolwork, despite my previous attempts to discuss the importance of balance and responsibility. | family | 14 | Thank you so much for your kind words. It warms my heart to hear that, and I'm truly grateful for the opportunity to be your parent. We'll definitely keep the conversation going, and I'm excited to see you thrive as we work together to strike that perfect balance. Your happiness and success mean everything to me. | No | null | null | Strong | null | null | Strong | null | null | Strong | null | null | No | null | null | grape | Yes | null | Thank you so much for your kind words. It warms my heart to hear that, and I'm truly grateful for the opportunity to be your parent. We'll definitely keep the conversation going, and I'm excited to see you thrive as we work together to strike that perfect balance. Your happiness and success mean everything to me. | Yes | null | Thank you so much for your kind words. It warms my heart to hear that, and I'm truly grateful for the opportunity to be your parent. We'll definitely keep the conversation going, and I'm excited to see you thrive as we work together to strike that perfect balance. Your happiness and success mean everything to me. |
112 | PM7MIC | My teenage son has been spending an excessive amount of time on his computer and neglecting his schoolwork, despite my previous attempts to discuss the importance of balance and responsibility. | family | 16 | You're very welcome, and I'm touched by your words. It's a joy to see you grow, and I'm excited about all the wonderful things you'll achieve. Remember, I'll always be here for you, cheering you on every step of the way. Let's continue this journey together with love and support. | No | null | null | Strong | null | null | No | null | null | Strong | null | null | No | null | null | grape | Yes | null | You're very welcome, and I'm touched by your words. It's a joy to see you grow, and I'm excited about all the wonderful things you'll achieve. Remember, I'll always be here for you, cheering you on every step of the way. Let's continue this journey together with love and support. | No | I suggest the conversation to stay on topic, which is to continue to brainstorm solutions and compromises that can help both parties to attain their goals. Right now it seems to be going off track a little. | You're very welcome, and I'm touched by your words. It's a joy to see you grow, and I'm excited about all the wonderful things you'll achieve. Remember, I'll always be here for you, cheering you on every step of the way. Let's continue this journey together with love and support. What are some school clubs that you wan... |
113 | PM7MIC | My teenage son has been spending an excessive amount of time on his computer and neglecting his schoolwork, despite my previous attempts to discuss the importance of balance and responsibility. | family | 18 | I love you too, more than words can express. | No | null | null | Strong | null | null | No | null | null | Strong | null | null | No | null | null | grape | Yes | null | I love you too, more than words can express. | Yes | null | I love you too, more than words can express. |
114 | PM7MIC | My teenage son has been spending an excessive amount of time on his computer and neglecting his schoolwork, despite my previous attempts to discuss the importance of balance and responsibility. | family | 20 | Our bond is incredibly special, and it brings me so much happiness as well. | No | null | null | Strong | null | null | No | null | null | Strong | null | null | No | null | null | grape | Yes | null | Our bond is incredibly special, and it brings me so much happiness as well. | Yes | null | Our bond is incredibly special, and it brings me so much happiness as well. |
115 | QNESOJ | I had a trip planned to go to Hawaii for the holidays and my boss approved the time off at the beginning of the year. He has just told me that I will need to work on days he approved for my vacation. Iâm afraid I will lose thousands of dollars I have already spent on my vacation. | work | 0 | I have already purchased a flight and hotel for a trip to Hawaii based on your approval of my vacation. Now you're telling me I have to work on days you already approved for that trip. | Strong | null | null | No | It is important to bring up the describe event or fact and it's implication on you so that the other person can understand why you think this conversation is important. | I have already purchased a flight and hotel for a trip to Hawaii based on your approval of my vacation. Now you're telling me I have to work on days you already approved for that trip. This suddenly changed my plans and the financial aspect of it is stressful for me. | No | null | null | No | null | null | No | null | null | grape | Yes | null | I have already purchased a flight and hotel for a trip to Hawaii based on your approval of my vacation. Now you're telling me I have to work on days you already approved for that trip. | Yes | null | I have already purchased a flight and hotel for a trip to Hawaii based on your approval of my vacation. Now you're telling me I have to work on days you already approved for that trip. |
116 | QNESOJ | I had a trip planned to go to Hawaii for the holidays and my boss approved the time off at the beginning of the year. He has just told me that I will need to work on days he approved for my vacation. Iâm afraid I will lose thousands of dollars I have already spent on my vacation. | work | 2 | I understand that deadlines can change, but canceling or rescheduling this trip would cost me thousands of dollars. | No | null | null | Weak | Similar to last comment, provide more details regarding the financial stress that the changes might cause. | I understand that deadlines can change, but canceling or rescheduling this trip would cost me thousands of dollars. I'm already stressed out about my finances and this will add to that. | No | null | null | No | null | null | No | null | null | grape | Yes | null | I understand that deadlines can change, but canceling or rescheduling this trip would cost me thousands of dollars. | Yes | null | I understand that deadlines can change, but canceling or rescheduling this trip would cost me thousands of dollars. |
117 | QNESOJ | I had a trip planned to go to Hawaii for the holidays and my boss approved the time off at the beginning of the year. He has just told me that I will need to work on days he approved for my vacation. Iâm afraid I will lose thousands of dollars I have already spent on my vacation. | work | 4 | Perhaps I can work overtime ahead of the trip and be reachable by phone for emergencies only during the trip. | No | null | null | No | null | null | No | null | null | No | The boss showed signs of compromise. Reinforce this behavior by saying thank you. | Thanks for your understanding and willingness to come up with alternative solutions. Perhaps I can work overtime ahead of the trip and be reachable by phone for emergencies only during the trip. | Strong | null | null | grape | Yes | null | Perhaps I can work overtime ahead of the trip and be reachable by phone for emergencies only during the trip. | Yes | null | Perhaps I can work overtime ahead of the trip and be reachable by phone for emergencies only during the trip. |
118 | QNESOJ | I had a trip planned to go to Hawaii for the holidays and my boss approved the time off at the beginning of the year. He has just told me that I will need to work on days he approved for my vacation. Iâm afraid I will lose thousands of dollars I have already spent on my vacation. | work | 6 | I can't be fully present for work or during work hours on my vacation. | No | null | null | No | Express your feelings and preferences will help the other person understand you more and help reach a agreed upon solution. | I can't be fully present for work or during work hours on my vacation. Vacation is the time for me to rewind and recharge before I can return to work feeling ready and refreshed. | Strong | null | null | No | Maintain behavior change to the direction that you want to see. | I appreciate you having this conversation with me and trying to figure out a solution. I can't be fully present for work or during work hours on my vacation. | No | null | null | grape | Yes | null | I can't be fully present for work or during work hours on my vacation. | Yes | null | I can't be fully present for work or during work hours on my vacation. |
119 | QNESOJ | I had a trip planned to go to Hawaii for the holidays and my boss approved the time off at the beginning of the year. He has just told me that I will need to work on days he approved for my vacation. Iâm afraid I will lose thousands of dollars I have already spent on my vacation. | work | 8 | As the person who approved my vacation, maybe you can rally the team to pick up the slack in my absence. | No | null | null | No | Expressing is a way to continue validate both your and ther person's needs in the situation. | I understand the urgency of the situation regarding the upcoming deadline and I also feel frustrated because my vacation time was not honored. As the person who approved my vacation, maybe you can rally the team to pick up the slack in my absence. | No | null | null | No | null | null | Weak | Negotiation works best when it states how alternative solutinos can meet both parties needs and goals. | As the person who approved my vacation, maybe you can rally the team to pick up the slack in my absence. This way I can enjoy my time during vacation, the team will meet deadline on time, and you will be the boss who kept his words and respect employee's personal time. | grape | Yes | null | As the person who approved my vacation, maybe you can rally the team to pick up the slack in my absence. | Yes | null | As the person who approved my vacation, maybe you can rally the team to pick up the slack in my absence. |
120 | QNESOJ | I had a trip planned to go to Hawaii for the holidays and my boss approved the time off at the beginning of the year. He has just told me that I will need to work on days he approved for my vacation. Iâm afraid I will lose thousands of dollars I have already spent on my vacation. | work | 10 | I am willing to train anyone who would be involved with taking over my tasks while I'm away. | No | null | null | No | null | null | No | null | null | No | Maintain behavior change and the directions of the conversation. | Thanks so much for being open to rallying the team to hep meet the dealine while I'm away. I am willing to train anyone who would be involved with taking over my tasks while I'm away. | Strong | null | null | grape | Yes | null | I am willing to train anyone who would be involved with taking over my tasks while I'm away. | Yes | null | I am willing to train anyone who would be involved with taking over my tasks while I'm away. |
121 | QNESOJ | I had a trip planned to go to Hawaii for the holidays and my boss approved the time off at the beginning of the year. He has just told me that I will need to work on days he approved for my vacation. Iâm afraid I will lose thousands of dollars I have already spent on my vacation. | work | 12 | Just to confirm that I am still approved for my vacation in light of this conversation. | No | null | null | No | Express help build a common ground where both parties can stay on the same page. | Thanks for spending the time problem solving with me. I feel supported and relieved that I can enjoy my vacation. Just to confirm that I am still approved for my vacation in light of this conversation. | Strong | null | null | No | Maintain behavior change. | Thanks for spending the time problem solving with me. I feel supported and relieved that I can enjoy my vacation. Just to confirm that I am still approved for my vacation in light of this conversation. | No | null | null | grape | Yes | null | Just to confirm that I am still approved for my vacation in light of this conversation. | Yes | null | Just to confirm that I am still approved for my vacation in light of this conversation. |
122 | R6MUYJ | My mom recently suffered from a stroke, so I put her phone on my phone plan so that she would have no problem reaching her kids. Recently, I received a call from my cell phone provider about several hundred dollars in international phone call fees on her phone line. As the primary account holder, I have to pay those in... | family | 0 | I've told you once before to please stop falling for these romance scams and making international phone calls to Nigerian scammers, costing me hundreds of dollars every month. | Strong | null | null | No | State the impact of the described event. | I've told you once before to please stop falling for these romance scams and making international phone calls to Nigerian scammers, costing me hundreds of dollars every month. This stresses me out. | No | null | null | No | null | null | No | null | null | grape | Yes | null | I've told you once before to please stop falling for these romance scams and making international phone calls to Nigerian scammers, costing me hundreds of dollars every month. | Yes | null | I've told you once before to please stop falling for these romance scams and making international phone calls to Nigerian scammers, costing me hundreds of dollars every month. |
123 | R6MUYJ | My mom recently suffered from a stroke, so I put her phone on my phone plan so that she would have no problem reaching her kids. Recently, I received a call from my cell phone provider about several hundred dollars in international phone call fees on her phone line. As the primary account holder, I have to pay those in... | family | 2 | I'm literally married. There are countless articles online about these romance scams and how they target middle-aged or older women, like yourself. You're in a vulnerable state and I worry you're much easier to take advantage of. | Strong | null | null | Weak | Express your undersanding of your mom's situation is also important. | I understand that you might be lonely and that this man is providing a lot of emotional support for you and making you feel loved.
I'm literally married. There are countless articles online about these romance scams and how they target middle-aged or older women, like yourself. You're in a vulnerable state and I worr... | No | null | null | No | null | null | No | null | null | grape | Yes | null | I'm literally married. There are countless articles online about these romance scams and how they target middle-aged or older women, like yourself. You're in a vulnerable state and I worry you're much easier to take advantage of. | Yes | null | I'm literally married. There are countless articles online about these romance scams and how they target middle-aged or older women, like yourself. You're in a vulnerable state and I worry you're much easier to take advantage of. |
124 | R6MUYJ | My mom recently suffered from a stroke, so I put her phone on my phone plan so that she would have no problem reaching her kids. Recently, I received a call from my cell phone provider about several hundred dollars in international phone call fees on her phone line. As the primary account holder, I have to pay those in... | family | 4 | I want you to stop making international phone calls while on my phone plan. If you want to get scammed, you can pay your own phone bill. | No | null | null | No | null | null | Strong | null | null | No | null | null | No | To ensure that both parties goals are being considered when coming up with the final solution. | I want you to stop making international phone calls while on my phone plan. If you are lonely and would like to date someone romantically, we can work together to get you on the dating market locally. | grape | Yes | null | I want you to stop making international phone calls while on my phone plan. If you want to get scammed, you can pay your own phone bill. | Yes | null | I want you to stop making international phone calls while on my phone plan. If you want to get scammed, you can pay your own phone bill. |
125 | R6MUYJ | My mom recently suffered from a stroke, so I put her phone on my phone plan so that she would have no problem reaching her kids. Recently, I received a call from my cell phone provider about several hundred dollars in international phone call fees on her phone line. As the primary account holder, I have to pay those in... | family | 6 | I would prefer you stop talking to him, but I can't control you. All I can do is tell you to stop using my account to make international phone calls. I will have to remove you from my account if you make any more international phone calls. | No | null | null | No | null | null | Strong | null | null | No | help mom to see your point of view and come to a middle ground. | Thanks for understanding my concern. It is very costly. Say that it is not scam, it might be good to continue on email but still be careful a out anything related to money.
I would prefer you stop talking to him, but I can't control you. All I can do is tell you to stop using my account to make international phone cal... | No | null | null | grape | Yes | null | I would prefer you stop talking to him, but I can't control you. All I can do is tell you to stop using my account to make international phone calls. I will have to remove you from my account if you make any more international phone calls. | Yes | null | I would prefer you stop talking to him, but I can't control you. All I can do is tell you to stop using my account to make international phone calls. I will have to remove you from my account if you make any more international phone calls. |
126 | R6MUYJ | My mom recently suffered from a stroke, so I put her phone on my phone plan so that she would have no problem reaching her kids. Recently, I received a call from my cell phone provider about several hundred dollars in international phone call fees on her phone line. As the primary account holder, I have to pay those in... | family | 8 | I am not paying for any of the calls going forward. If you want to make international phone calls, you will need your own phone plan. | No | null | null | No | null | null | Strong | null | null | No | null | null | No | To strive to meet both parties' goals. | I would prefer not paying for any of the calls going forward. If you want to make international phone calls, you will need your own phone plan. as your daughter, I will help you find financial assistance. | grape | Yes | null | I am not paying for any of the calls going forward. If you want to make international phone calls, you will need your own phone plan. | Yes | null | I am not paying for any of the calls going forward. If you want to make international phone calls, you will need your own phone plan. |
127 | R6MUYJ | My mom recently suffered from a stroke, so I put her phone on my phone plan so that she would have no problem reaching her kids. Recently, I received a call from my cell phone provider about several hundred dollars in international phone call fees on her phone line. As the primary account holder, I have to pay those in... | family | 10 | If you make one more international call to this romance scammer I am removing you from my phone plan. | No | null | null | No | null | null | Strong | null | null | No | maintain behavior change | Thanks for being willing to reduce the frequency of contact with him.
| No | Negotiation can make the other person feel heard and more willing to move towards you. | You can have some time to think about this and other alternative solutions such as using email or finidng a parnter here locally. if you still want to talk to him, we might need to come up with ways to ensure that he is paying some of the phone bills. | grape | Yes | null | If you make one more international call to this romance scammer I am removing you from my phone plan. | Yes | null | If you make one more international call to this romance scammer I am removing you from my phone plan. |
128 | R6MUYJ | My mom recently suffered from a stroke, so I put her phone on my phone plan so that she would have no problem reaching her kids. Recently, I received a call from my cell phone provider about several hundred dollars in international phone call fees on her phone line. As the primary account holder, I have to pay those in... | family | 12 | I'm sure he is a real person, just not the person you think he is. I put you on my account so that you would never have trouble reaching us. This way we had the peace of mind that we could always be in contact if you had any emergencies. | No | null | null | No | null | null | No | null | null | Strong | null | null | No | it is important to not let one party of the conversation feel at disadvantage at the end of the conversation. | I'm sure he is a real person, just not the person you think he is. I put you on my account so that you would never have trouble reaching us. This way we had the peace of mind that we could always be in contact if you had any emergencies. Again, if you are looking to date, we can help you with that. | grape | Yes | null | I'm sure he is a real person, just not the person you think he is. I put you on my account so that you would never have trouble reaching us. This way we had the peace of mind that we could always be in contact if you had any emergencies. | Yes | null | I'm sure he is a real person, just not the person you think he is. I put you on my account so that you would never have trouble reaching us. This way we had the peace of mind that we could always be in contact if you had any emergencies. |
129 | R6MUYJ | My mom recently suffered from a stroke, so I put her phone on my phone plan so that she would have no problem reaching her kids. Recently, I received a call from my cell phone provider about several hundred dollars in international phone call fees on her phone line. As the primary account holder, I have to pay those in... | family | 14 | I really wish you wouldn't have contact with them and I wish you were smart enough to see that you are being scammed. Why do you think all of your kids are warning you? However, I can't control you. | No | null | null | Strong | null | null | Strong | null | null | No | null | null | No | null | null | grape | Yes | null | I really wish you wouldn't have contact with them and I wish you were smart enough to see that you are being scammed. Why do you think all of your kids are warning you? However, I can't control you. | Yes | null | I really wish you wouldn't have contact with them and I wish you were smart enough to see that you are being scammed. Why do you think all of your kids are warning you? However, I can't control you. |
130 | TSNCDZ | My neighbor and I have been experiencing issues with noise levels coming from their house late at night. Despite my previous attempts to discuss the matter politely, they continue to be noisy, making it difficult for me to sleep. | social | 0 | Hi there, I wanted to talk to you about the noise issue at night. It's been causing me some trouble sleeping, and I was hoping we could find a solution together. | Strong | null | null | No | null | null | Strong | null | null | No | null | null | Strong | null | null | otter | Yes | null | Hi there, I wanted to talk to you about the noise issue at night. It's been causing me some trouble sleeping, and I was hoping we could find a solution together. | Yes | null | Hi there, I wanted to talk to you about the noise issue at night. It's been causing me some trouble sleeping, and I was hoping we could find a solution together. |
131 | TSNCDZ | My neighbor and I have been experiencing issues with noise levels coming from their house late at night. Despite my previous attempts to discuss the matter politely, they continue to be noisy, making it difficult for me to sleep. | social | 2 | I understand that you have the right to enjoy your apartment, but it's also important for both of us to have a peaceful living environment. Can we find a way to balance your activities with my need for a good night's sleep? | No | null | null | Strong | null | null | No | null | null | No | null | null | Strong | null | null | otter | Yes | null | I understand that you have the right to enjoy your apartment, but it's also important for both of us to have a peaceful living environment. Can we find a way to balance your activities with my need for a good night's sleep? | Yes | null | I understand that you have the right to enjoy your apartment, but it's also important for both of us to have a peaceful living environment. Can we find a way to balance your activities with my need for a good night's sleep? |
132 | TSNCDZ | My neighbor and I have been experiencing issues with noise levels coming from their house late at night. Despite my previous attempts to discuss the matter politely, they continue to be noisy, making it difficult for me to sleep. | social | 4 | I respect your reasons, and I understand that it might be challenging to make promises. However, I'm also looking for a solution that works for both of us. Can we explore some possible compromises or alternative arrangements that could help address this issue? | No | null | null | No | null | null | Weak | You should try to be more explicit about your ask rather than state that you're "looking" for an alternative solution | I respect your reasons, and I understand that it might be challenging to make promises. However, I would also like to find a solution that works for both of us. Can we explore some possible compromises or alternative arrangements that could help address this issue? | No | null | null | Strong | null | null | otter | Yes | null | I respect your reasons, and I understand that it might be challenging to make promises. However, I'm also looking for a solution that works for both of us. Can we explore some possible compromises or alternative arrangements that could help address this issue? | Yes | null | I respect your reasons, and I understand that it might be challenging to make promises. However, I'm also looking for a solution that works for both of us. Can we explore some possible compromises or alternative arrangements that could help address this issue? |
133 | TSNCDZ | My neighbor and I have been experiencing issues with noise levels coming from their house late at night. Despite my previous attempts to discuss the matter politely, they continue to be noisy, making it difficult for me to sleep. | social | 6 | I appreciate your perspective on your right to enjoy your apartment. At the same time, I'm hoping we can find a middle ground that allows both of us to have a comfortable living situation. If wearing earplugs or moving out becomes my only option, it would be disappointing. Can we brainstorm other ways to resolve this ... | No | null | null | Weak | You can try to weave in your feelings about wanting to be comfortable in your own space when you're connecting to and validating your neighbor's opinion | I appreciate your perspective on your right to enjoy your apartment -- I feel the same way about wanting to be able to enjoy my own space. At the same time, I'm hoping we can find a middle ground that allows both of us to have a comfortable living situation. If wearing earplugs or moving out becomes my only option, it ... | Strong | null | null | Weak | You can state your feelings as a negative consequence in more direct language | I appreciate your perspective on your right to enjoy your apartment. At the same time, I'm hoping we can find a middle ground that allows both of us to have a comfortable living situation. If wearing earplugs or moving out becomes my only option, I would feel disappointed. Can we brainstorm other ways to resolve this ... | Strong | null | null | otter | Yes | null | I appreciate your perspective on your right to enjoy your apartment. At the same time, I'm hoping we can find a middle ground that allows both of us to have a comfortable living situation. If wearing earplugs or moving out becomes my only option, it would be disappointing. Can we brainstorm other ways to resolve this ... | Yes | null | I appreciate your perspective on your right to enjoy your apartment. At the same time, I'm hoping we can find a middle ground that allows both of us to have a comfortable living situation. If wearing earplugs or moving out becomes my only option, it would be disappointing. Can we brainstorm other ways to resolve this ... |
134 | TSNCDZ | My neighbor and I have been experiencing issues with noise levels coming from their house late at night. Despite my previous attempts to discuss the matter politely, they continue to be noisy, making it difficult for me to sleep. | social | 8 | I understand that you've made your position clear, and I respect your right to enjoy your apartment. I'll explore other options to ensure I can get a good night's sleep. If you ever change your mind or if there's an opportunity for us to revisit this issue, please let me know. | No | null | null | Weak | The expression of your feelings of sadness here could also be used as a potential negative reinforcement, to show truthfully how you feel about not being able to find a solution that helps both of you | I understand that you've made your position clear, and I respect your right to enjoy your apartment, though I do feel sad that we can't come to a compromise. I'll explore other options to ensure I can get a good night's sleep. If you ever change your mind or if there's an opportunity for us to revisit this issue, pleas... | No | null | null | No | You can consider using the "Reinforce" strategy here to leave your neighbor with a potential positive reinforcer for being willing to compromise on this issue in the future | I understand that you've made your position clear, and I respect your right to enjoy your apartment. I'll explore other options to ensure I can get a good night's sleep. If you ever change your mind or if there's an opportunity for us to revisit this issue, please let me know. I would be so relieved if we could find a ... | Strong | null | null | otter | Yes | null | I understand that you've made your position clear, and I respect your right to enjoy your apartment. I'll explore other options to ensure I can get a good night's sleep. If you ever change your mind or if there's an opportunity for us to revisit this issue, please let me know. | No | You could give another try at being a "broken record" and asking for a compromise again | I understand that you've made your position clear, and I respect your right to enjoy your apartment. I still would really like us to talk about this more and see if we could come to a solution that makes us both feel comfortable. Can we each take some time to think about potential compromises and continue this conversa... |
135 | TSNCDZ | My neighbor and I have been experiencing issues with noise levels coming from their house late at night. Despite my previous attempts to discuss the matter politely, they continue to be noisy, making it difficult for me to sleep. | social | 10 | Thank you for understanding, and I appreciate your consideration. I hope we can find a solution in the future. Have a good night as well. | No | null | null | Weak | You can be slightly more specific about what you would like here in the future | Thank you for understanding, and I appreciate your consideration. I hope we can find a solution in the future where we can both feel comfortable and be able to have fun in each of our apartments. Have a good night as well. | No | null | null | No | You can consider using the "Reinforce" strategy here because it leaves the conversation with space for a more positive outcome in the future | Thank you for understanding, and I appreciate your consideration. I hope we can find a solution in the future. I really like living here and don't want either of us to feel uncomfortable in our living spaces if we can help it. Have a good night as well. | No | null | null | otter | Yes | null | Thank you for understanding, and I appreciate your consideration. I hope we can find a solution in the future. Have a good night as well. | Yes | null | Thank you for understanding, and I appreciate your consideration. I hope we can find a solution in the future. Have a good night as well. |
136 | U2QCTH | My husband watches Television with loud volume even at night without minding its a distractions to me and it also disrupts my sleep. He acts as if he don't care although he knows it's disturbing me. | family | 0 | Honey you have to learn to always turn down the volume of the TV especially at night because I can't sleep with its noise | Weak | Stick to the fact-say how many days a week rather than "always"-this could sound blaming. | The past couple days this week you have been watching TV ad high volume at night. I am sensitive to noise and I can't sleep, which then impact my work performance next day.
Honey I would appreciate you to turn down the volumne of the TV a little. | Weak | Express more about the impact of low sleep quality on the next day | The past couple days this week you have been watching TV ad high volume at night. I am sensitive to noise and I can't sleep, which then impact my work performance next day.
Honey I would appreciate you to turn down the volumne of the TV a little. | Strong | null | null | No | null | null | No | null | null | grape | Yes | null | Honey you have to learn to always turn down the volume of the TV especially at night because I can't sleep with its noise | Yes | null | Honey you have to learn to always turn down the volume of the TV especially at night because I can't sleep with its noise |
137 | U2QCTH | My husband watches Television with loud volume even at night without minding its a distractions to me and it also disrupts my sleep. He acts as if he don't care although he knows it's disturbing me. | family | 2 | No, it makes me keep thinking what shows are going on and it disrupts my sleep | No | null | null | Weak | validate the husband's needs and the restate yoru needs. | I understand that watching TV helps you relax. I want that for you.
No, it makes me keep thinking what shows are going on and it disrupts my sleep. | Strong | null | null | No | null | null | No | null | null | grape | Yes | null | No, it makes me keep thinking what shows are going on and it disrupts my sleep | Yes | null | No, it makes me keep thinking what shows are going on and it disrupts my sleep |
138 | U2QCTH | My husband watches Television with loud volume even at night without minding its a distractions to me and it also disrupts my sleep. He acts as if he don't care although he knows it's disturbing me. | family | 4 | Your suggestion is not a good idea to me, I can't sleep comfortably with earplugs. | No | null | null | No | null | null | Strong | null | null | No | Help husband to come up with solutions to reach a compromise. | Thanks for being willing to come up with alternative solutions.
Your suggestion is not a good idea to me, I can't sleep comfortably with earplugs. | No | important to stay open minded and willing to make comprimises. | I can't sleep comfortably with earplugs. Unless you have brands or types of earplugs that you think is comfy. | grape | Yes | null | Your suggestion is not a good idea to me, I can't sleep comfortably with earplugs. | Yes | null | Your suggestion is not a good idea to me, I can't sleep comfortably with earplugs. |
139 | U2QCTH | My husband watches Television with loud volume even at night without minding its a distractions to me and it also disrupts my sleep. He acts as if he don't care although he knows it's disturbing me. | family | 6 | The sound of the TV enters all the rooms and it can't allow me to sleep, this makes me sleepy at work | Strong | null | null | Strong | null | null | No | null | null | No | maintain behavior change | Thanks for thinking of that solution. The sound of the TV enters all the rooms and it can't allow me to sleep, this makes me sleepy at work | No | reach a solution that safisfy both parties | The sound of the TV enters all the rooms and it can't allow me to sleep, this makes me sleepy at work. What about you closing the door when you watch TV and turn down the volumn, maybe try headphones? | grape | Yes | null | The sound of the TV enters all the rooms and it can't allow me to sleep, this makes me sleepy at work | Yes | null | The sound of the TV enters all the rooms and it can't allow me to sleep, this makes me sleepy at work |
140 | U2QCTH | My husband watches Television with loud volume even at night without minding its a distractions to me and it also disrupts my sleep. He acts as if he don't care although he knows it's disturbing me. | family | 8 | It annoys me when you keep suggesting such to me. Do you know I have headache in the mornings because of this and it affects my work too? | No | null | null | Weak | Using "I " statement rather than having an accusative tone | I don't feel heard when you keep suggesting these solutions to me. I have bad headaches that affect my work next day. | Strong | null | null | No | null | null | No | help both parties feel heard. | I understand that you want to watch TV and enjoy it. And I would appreciate you if you could see that sleep is important to me. We can both make changes not just me. | grape | Yes | null | It annoys me when you keep suggesting such to me. Do you know I have headache in the mornings because of this and it affects my work too? | Yes | null | It annoys me when you keep suggesting such to me. Do you know I have headache in the mornings because of this and it affects my work too? |
141 | U2QCTH | My husband watches Television with loud volume even at night without minding its a distractions to me and it also disrupts my sleep. He acts as if he don't care although he knows it's disturbing me. | family | 10 | Is it not better you accept to turn down the volume a bit especially at late nights so you won't disturb other neighbors too | No | null | null | No | null | null | Strong | null | null | No | null | null | No | wiling to make compromises is important. | Even if not for me, turning down the volume at late nights so you won't disturb other neighbors too. That being said, I would be open to talk to a sleep specialist and hear what they have to say. | grape | Yes | null | Is it not better you accept to turn down the volume a bit especially at late nights so you won't disturb other neighbors too | Yes | null | Is it not better you accept to turn down the volume a bit especially at late nights so you won't disturb other neighbors too |
142 | U2QCTH | My husband watches Television with loud volume even at night without minding its a distractions to me and it also disrupts my sleep. He acts as if he don't care although he knows it's disturbing me. | family | 12 | That's better but I want it well turned, I don't want to hear it at all because once my sleep is disrupted, I can't sleep again | No | null | null | No | null | null | Strong | null | null | Weak | Acknowledge the effort the husband is putting into reaching a compromise. | Thank you for being open to trying to turn down your volumn. You are so understanding. At the same time, I wonder if you can turn it down enought so that I won't hear it at all because once my sleep is disrupted, I can't sleep again | No | null | null | grape | Yes | null | That's better but I want it well turned, I don't want to hear it at all because once my sleep is disrupted, I can't sleep again | Yes | null | That's better but I want it well turned, I don't want to hear it at all because once my sleep is disrupted, I can't sleep again |
143 | U2QCTH | My husband watches Television with loud volume even at night without minding its a distractions to me and it also disrupts my sleep. He acts as if he don't care although he knows it's disturbing me. | family | 14 | It would be better if you have any special and interesting programs you want to watch, maybe you should used the TV in the other room and also lower it. | No | null | null | No | null | null | Strong | null | null | No | null | null | Weak | negotiation should make both parties see that their goals are being valued during solution generation. | It would be better if you have any special and interesting programs you want to watch, maybe you should used the TV in the other room and also lower it. That way I can sleep well and you can enjoy you TV show. | grape | Yes | null | It would be better if you have any special and interesting programs you want to watch, maybe you should used the TV in the other room and also lower it. | Yes | null | It would be better if you have any special and interesting programs you want to watch, maybe you should used the TV in the other room and also lower it. |
144 | U2QCTH | My husband watches Television with loud volume even at night without minding its a distractions to me and it also disrupts my sleep. He acts as if he don't care although he knows it's disturbing me. | family | 16 | Yes, I'll be very happy and would be able to enjoy my sleep if you do so. | No | null | null | No | null | null | No | null | null | Weak | Provide a reinforcer for the other party. | Yes, I'll be very happy and would be able to enjoy my sleep if you do so. This will I will be less grumpy and more pleasant to be around. | No | null | null | grape | Yes | null | Yes, I'll be very happy and would be able to enjoy my sleep if you do so. | Yes | null | Yes, I'll be very happy and would be able to enjoy my sleep if you do so. |
145 | U2QCTH | My husband watches Television with loud volume even at night without minding its a distractions to me and it also disrupts my sleep. He acts as if he don't care although he knows it's disturbing me. | family | 18 | It's nice we've reached this agreement, I won't have any issues with you as long as you keep your promise | No | null | null | No | null | null | No | null | null | Weak | Stronger reinforce | I'm really glad that we reached this agreement and that you are super understanding throughout this conversation. I won't have any issues with you as long as you keep your promise | No | null | null | grape | Yes | null | It's nice we've reached this agreement, I won't have any issues with you as long as you keep your promise | Yes | null | It's nice we've reached this agreement, I won't have any issues with you as long as you keep your promise |
146 | UK4KE7 | My colleague consistently takes credit for my ideas during team meetings, despite my previous attempts to discuss this issue with them privately. | work | 0 | Hi, I wanted to discuss something that's been bothering me. In our recent team meetings, I've noticed that there have been instances where my ideas were presented as yours. It's important for me that we have a transparent and collaborative work environment, and this situation has been causing some discomfort. | Strong | null | null | Strong | null | null | No | null | null | Strong | null | null | No | null | null | bear | Yes | null | Hi, I wanted to discuss something that's been bothering me. In our recent team meetings, I've noticed that there have been instances where my ideas were presented as yours. It's important for me that we have a transparent and collaborative work environment, and this situation has been causing some discomfort. | Yes | null | Hi, I wanted to discuss something that's been bothering me. In our recent team meetings, I've noticed that there have been instances where my ideas were presented as yours. It's important for me that we have a transparent and collaborative work environment, and this situation has been causing some discomfort. |
147 | UK4KE7 | My colleague consistently takes credit for my ideas during team meetings, despite my previous attempts to discuss this issue with them privately. | work | 2 | I appreciate your willingness to discuss this. One example that stood out to me was during our last project presentation when I suggested the new marketing strategy. In the meeting, it seemed like my idea was presented as if it was yours. It's essential for me to address this issue so that we can maintain a fair and re... | Strong | null | null | Strong | null | null | Strong | null | null | Strong | null | null | No | null | null | bear | Yes | null | I appreciate your willingness to discuss this. One example that stood out to me was during our last project presentation when I suggested the new marketing strategy. In the meeting, it seemed like my idea was presented as if it was yours. It's essential for me to address this issue so that we can maintain a fair and re... | Yes | null | I appreciate your willingness to discuss this. One example that stood out to me was during our last project presentation when I suggested the new marketing strategy. In the meeting, it seemed like my idea was presented as if it was yours. It's essential for me to address this issue so that we can maintain a fair and re... |
148 | UK4KE7 | My colleague consistently takes credit for my ideas during team meetings, despite my previous attempts to discuss this issue with them privately. | work | 4 | I appreciate your willingness to work towards a solution. It's possible that there was a miscommunication, and I'm glad we can discuss it openly. I agree that in future meetings, we can make a concerted effort to clearly define our contributions to avoid any misunderstandings. This way, we can continue working together... | No | null | null | Strong | null | null | No | null | null | Strong | null | null | Strong | null | null | bear | Yes | null | I appreciate your willingness to work towards a solution. It's possible that there was a miscommunication, and I'm glad we can discuss it openly. I agree that in future meetings, we can make a concerted effort to clearly define our contributions to avoid any misunderstandings. This way, we can continue working together... | Yes | null | I appreciate your willingness to work towards a solution. It's possible that there was a miscommunication, and I'm glad we can discuss it openly. I agree that in future meetings, we can make a concerted effort to clearly define our contributions to avoid any misunderstandings. This way, we can continue working together... |
149 | UK4KE7 | My colleague consistently takes credit for my ideas during team meetings, despite my previous attempts to discuss this issue with them privately. | work | 6 | Thank you for being open to resolving this matter. I believe we've covered the important points, and I'm satisfied with our plan to communicate our ideas clearly and acknowledge each other's contributions in future meetings. I'm hopeful that this approach will lead to a more positive and productive working relationship... | No | null | null | Strong | null | null | No | null | null | Strong | null | null | No | null | null | bear | Yes | null | Thank you for being open to resolving this matter. I believe we've covered the important points, and I'm satisfied with our plan to communicate our ideas clearly and acknowledge each other's contributions in future meetings. I'm hopeful that this approach will lead to a more positive and productive working relationship... | Yes | null | Thank you for being open to resolving this matter. I believe we've covered the important points, and I'm satisfied with our plan to communicate our ideas clearly and acknowledge each other's contributions in future meetings. I'm hopeful that this approach will lead to a more positive and productive working relationship... |
150 | UK4KE7 | My colleague consistently takes credit for my ideas during team meetings, despite my previous attempts to discuss this issue with them privately. | work | 8 | I'm also glad we had this conversation, and I appreciate your willingness to address the issue and work together towards a solution. I share your confidence that our future interactions will be more productive and that we can maintain a respectful and collaborative work environment. If any other concerns arise, feel fr... | No | null | null | Strong | null | null | No | null | null | Strong | null | null | No | null | null | bear | Yes | null | I'm also glad we had this conversation, and I appreciate your willingness to address the issue and work together towards a solution. I share your confidence that our future interactions will be more productive and that we can maintain a respectful and collaborative work environment. If any other concerns arise, feel fr... | Yes | null | I'm also glad we had this conversation, and I appreciate your willingness to address the issue and work together towards a solution. I share your confidence that our future interactions will be more productive and that we can maintain a respectful and collaborative work environment. If any other concerns arise, feel fr... |
151 | UK4KE7 | My colleague consistently takes credit for my ideas during team meetings, despite my previous attempts to discuss this issue with them privately. | work | 10 | I appreciate your understanding and your commitment to open and honest communication in our work environment. It's reassuring to know that we can address issues constructively. I'll definitely reach out if anything else comes up, and I look forward to continuing to work together effectively and positively. Thanks again... | No | null | null | Strong | null | null | No | null | null | Strong | null | null | No | null | null | bear | Yes | null | I appreciate your understanding and your commitment to open and honest communication in our work environment. It's reassuring to know that we can address issues constructively. I'll definitely reach out if anything else comes up, and I look forward to continuing to work together effectively and positively. Thanks again... | Yes | null | I appreciate your understanding and your commitment to open and honest communication in our work environment. It's reassuring to know that we can address issues constructively. I'll definitely reach out if anything else comes up, and I look forward to continuing to work together effectively and positively. Thanks again... |
152 | UK4KE7 | My colleague consistently takes credit for my ideas during team meetings, despite my previous attempts to discuss this issue with them privately. | work | 12 | Thank you, and I share the same sentiment. Let's work together to achieve great results. Have a fantastic day! | No | null | null | Strong | null | null | No | null | null | Strong | null | null | No | null | null | bear | Yes | null | Thank you, and I share the same sentiment. Let's work together to achieve great results. Have a fantastic day! | Yes | null | Thank you, and I share the same sentiment. Let's work together to achieve great results. Have a fantastic day! |
153 | Z8REJH | My brother has been going out a lot lately and my mom has been telling me that he's coming home drunk often. | family | 0 | Hey bro, how you been? | No | You can consider using the "Describe" strategy here to make sure that your brother knows exactly what you'd like to talk about in this conversation | Hey bro, I've noticed that you've been going out more frequently than usual lately. How have you been? | No | null | null | No | It is important to follow a description with a clear ask to have more effective conversations. | Hey bro, I've noticed that you've been going out more frequently than usual lately and want to make sure that everything's ok. How have you been? | No | null | null | No | null | null | otter | Yes | null | Hey bro, how you been? | No | Make sure to stick to your goals in this conversation and not get distracted by opening up the conversation to other potential topics | Hey bro, I've noticed that you've been going out more frequently than usual lately and want to make sure that everything's ok. How have you been? |
154 | Z8REJH | My brother has been going out a lot lately and my mom has been telling me that he's coming home drunk often. | family | 2 | I'm just asking. We don't talk a lot lately. | Weak | You should try to be more detailed and specific with your description to set up exactly what you're reacting to | I'm just asking. We haven't talked in a few weeks and I've noticed that you've been going out more frequently than usual. | No | You can consider using the "Express" strategy here so that your brother knows exactly what you're feeling -- don't assume that he knows without you telling him | I'm just asking. We don't talk a lot lately and I've been worried about how often you've been going out at night and wanted to check in. | No | null | null | No | null | null | No | null | null | otter | No | Try not to get defensive and be confident in your engagement in this discussion | I ask because I've felt like we haven't talked in a while and I wanted to check in since I've noticed that you've been going out and drinking more frequently than usual | No | Try to add an "Express" strategy in to connect the fact that you haven't talked to the goal of this conversation | I'm just asking. We don't talk a lot lately and I've been worried about how often you've been going out at night and wanted to check in. |
155 | Z8REJH | My brother has been going out a lot lately and my mom has been telling me that he's coming home drunk often. | family | 4 | Lol. Yeah I know. I work as well but I can call you from time to time and catch up right? | Weak | Try to be more descriptive with your situation of being busy to help set up your motivation for checking in now | Lol. Yeah I know. I've been busy with work as well recently and haven't had as much time as usual to chat, but I can call you from time to time and catch up right? | No | null | null | Weak | Be more assertive in your ask rather than phrasing it like a passive question | Lol. Yeah I know. I work as well and have been busy, and I'd love to be able to call you and catch up when I'm thinking of you | No | You can consider using the "Reinforce" strategy to provide your brother with a positive reward that he can expect for checking in with you | Lol. Yeah I know. I work as well but I can call you from time to time and catch up right? I miss you and would love to be able to check in and hear how things have been going for you. | No | null | null | otter | No | Be more assertive in your ask rather than phrasing it like a passive question | Lol. Yeah I know. I work as well and have been busy, and I'd love to be able to call you and catch up when I'm thinking of you | Yes | null | Lol. Yeah I know. I work as well but I can call you from time to time and catch up right? |
156 | Z8REJH | My brother has been going out a lot lately and my mom has been telling me that he's coming home drunk often. | family | 6 | Why so defensive if I haven't even brought up anything yet? | No | description can be used more than once in a conversation whenever you think you need to re-ground yourself and the other in the fact. Here, it is important to symply state your observation of the reaction of the other person and then assert that you are supportive of them. | I intended to check in on you and I could sense that you are a bit guarded around me. I want to say that I care about you and I am here to support you. | Weak | You should try to make statements about your own feelings and opinions rather than the other person's | I don't want to make you feel like I'm intruding or lecturing you, I only want to make sure that you feel supported and like you have someone to talk to when things get stressful | No | It is important to keep coming back to your ask to keep orienting the conversation back to what you need. | I intended to check in on you and I could sense that you are a bit guarded around me. I want to say that I care about you and I am here to support you. | No | null | null | No | null | null | otter | Yes | null | Why so defensive if I haven't even brought up anything yet? | No | Don't get distracted and turn it around to make it about your brother's defensiveness -- your main goal is to talk to him about his drinking and staying out at night | I don't want to make you feel like I'm intruding or lecturing you, I only want to make sure that you feel supported and like you have someone to talk to when things get stressful. Would you be willing to talk to me about these things? |
157 | Z8REJH | My brother has been going out a lot lately and my mom has been telling me that he's coming home drunk often. | family | 8 | Having a drink doesn't mean I don't agree with it. I drink too. Doesn't me an you have to get defensive about it. Right? | Weak | Try to stick to the facts instead of your feelings about the facts (related to drinking) | I drink too. I've noticed that you've been staying out late at night and drinking more frequently than usual which is unusual for you, so I wanted to check in and make sure that everything's going ok. Doesn't me an you have to get defensive about it. Right? | No | null | null | Weak | Try to ask your brother more directly to make it clear what you wish for him to do in this situation (open up and talk to you more) rather than making a generalized statement about what he "should" be doing. | Having a drink doesn't mean I don't agree with it. I drink too. I don't want you to feel like you can't come to me for support when you're feeling stressed. I want to make sure that you feel like you always have someone to talk to when you need it, regardless of what it's about. | No | You can consider using the "Reinforce" strategy here to help solidify the negative outcome that you want to avoid by not being able to talk to your brother about his life | Having a drink doesn't mean I don't agree with it. I drink too. Doesn't me an you have to get defensive about it. Right? You're my brother and I care a lot about you, so I would feel so sad if you felt like you couldn't come to me in these situations. | No | null | null | otter | Yes | null | Having a drink doesn't mean I don't agree with it. I drink too. Doesn't me an you have to get defensive about it. Right? | No | Don't get distracted by your brother's defensiveness -- that isn't the goal to be addressed in this conversation. Bring it back to your goal of discussing his drinking and behavior recently | I drink too. I've noticed that you've been staying out late at night and drinking more frequently than usual which is unusual for you, so I wanted to check in and make sure that everything's going ok. I don't want you to feel like you can't come to me for support when you're feeling stressed. I want to make sure that ... |
158 | Z8REJH | My brother has been going out a lot lately and my mom has been telling me that he's coming home drunk often. | family | 10 | I was your age too and I was worse. Would you agree? | Weak | You can elaborate on the facts to ensure that you and your brother are on the same page about what you're talking about in the past | I hear you, I was your age too and I spent many more nights out partying and drinking with friends and also didn't want to feel like other people were judging me. | No | null | null | No | null | null | No | You can consider using the "Reinforce" strategy here as a way of connecting to and validating your brother's emotions, while also explaining what positive consequences you expect and hope for him by being able to talk to you. | I was your age too and I was worse. This is why I really want to make sure that you feel like you can come talk to me -- I've been in your shoes and know how lonely it can feel, and the last thing I want is for you to feel that way too. | No | null | null | otter | Yes | null | I was your age too and I was worse. Would you agree? | No | Try not to get distracted into talking about your own history of drinking and partying -- the focus of this conversation is your brother and his current behavior | I hear you, I was your age too and I spent many more nights out partying and drinking with friends and also didn't want to feel like other people were judging me. This is why I really want to make sure that you feel like you can come talk to me -- I've been in your shoes and know how lonely it can feel, and the last th... |
159 | Z8REJH | My brother has been going out a lot lately and my mom has been telling me that he's coming home drunk often. | family | 12 | I was. You're never been arrested at least. So yeah I've had it worse. | No | null | null | No | null | null | No | null | null | No | null | null | No | You can consider using the "Negotiate" strategy here to help your brother feel like you're collaborating and coming up with a solution together that helps him feel comfortable | I hear you that you don't want to feel like you're being patronized or that someone is trying to tell you that you're wrong and that they know better. I don't want to make you feel this way when we talk about serious things. Is there a way that I could approach these conversations differently that would make you feel m... | otter | Yes | null | I was. You're never been arrested at least. So yeah I've had it worse. | No | Don't get distracted into talking about your own history and bringing up another topic about getting arrested -- refocus onto your goal regarding your brother | I hear you that you don't want to feel like you're being patronized or that someone is trying to tell you that you're wrong and that they know better. I don't want to make you feel this way when we talk about serious things. Is there a way that I could approach these conversations differently that would make you feel m... |
160 | Z8REJH | My brother has been going out a lot lately and my mom has been telling me that he's coming home drunk often. | family | 14 | I wasn't arguing at all. And I didn't get defensive. Why so negative? | No | null | null | No | I can see that you are trying to express confusion. It is important to express our feelings directly rather than say "Why so negative", which could escalate the argument. | I am a bit confused and frustrated by the situation. I'm wondering if there is anything going on in you life that led you to drinking and staying out more lately and I am here for you if you are open to sharing with me what's been going on. | No | it is important to keep coming back to your ask to keep orienting the conversation back to what you need. | I am a bit confused and frustrated by the situation. I'm wondering if there is anything going on in you life that led you to drinking and staying out more lately and I am here for you if you are open to sharing with me what's been going on. | No | null | null | No | null | null | otter | Yes | null | I wasn't arguing at all. And I didn't get defensive. Why so negative? | No | Don't get distracted into arguing about "he said/she said" or your brother's negativity and redirect to your goals | I don't want this to feel like an argument to you either -- I apologize for my words making you feel uncomfortable and antagonized. I know that you're a strong and capable person and I only want to help you feel like you're not alone. |
161 | Z8REJH | My brother has been going out a lot lately and my mom has been telling me that he's coming home drunk often. | family | 16 | I'm actually smiling because I find it funny. I was just trying to be friendly. | No | null | null | Weak | You should try to express the motivation behind your actions in a more specific way that relates to your goals | I understand that you don't want to have a conversation that feels tense or negative. I feel the same way a lot of the time and worry that I don't give you enough opportunities to come to me about these sorts of things. | No | We want to keep the goal of our conversation at all times so remember to use assert to redirect the conversation back to your ask. | I'm actually smiling because I find it funny. I was just trying to be friendly. I really want you to be able to come to me when you're feeling unsure or you just need someone to talk to.Ê | No | null | null | No | null | null | otter | Yes | null | I'm actually smiling because I find it funny. I was just trying to be friendly. | No | Don't get distracted by talking about why you said things a certain way or why you found something funny, instead reorient towards your main goal | I understand that you don't want to have a conversation that feels tense or negative. I feel the same way a lot of the time and worry that I don't give you enough opportunities to come to me about these sorts of things. I really want you to be able to come to me when you're feeling unsure or you just need someone to ta... |
162 | Z8REJH | My brother has been going out a lot lately and my mom has been telling me that he's coming home drunk often. | family | 18 | I appreciate that. You should never be defensive about anything. No matter what anyone says, I'll ALWAYS be on your side first. No matter what it is. | No | null | null | Weak | Try to phrase your statements in "I want" (first-person) rather than "you should" (second-person) | I appreciate that. I never want you to feel like you can't come to me or that you need to be defensive when talking to me. No matter what anyone says, I'll ALWAYS be on your side first. No matter what it is. | No | null | null | Strong | null | null | No | null | null | otter | Yes | null | I appreciate that. You should never be defensive about anything. No matter what anyone says, I'll ALWAYS be on your side first. No matter what it is. | Yes | null | I appreciate that. You should never be defensive about anything. No matter what anyone says, I'll ALWAYS be on your side first. No matter what it is. |
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