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This is me. Don’t get me wrong, it’s better than don’t-leave-my-bed-for-a-week depression. I am grateful I can be an independent person. But there is something uniquely horrible about being able to go to work every day, occasionally clean up after yourself, pay your bills, generally put yourself together enough to look... | I know how you feel. I feel sad and hopeless most of the time, but I always manage to go to work. I guess as hard as it is when I wake up, once I’m there I feel somewhat better. |
I’m trapped inside. Does anyone else get that feeling? My memories from the past few years are shoddy at best. I think I’m losing it. | I stopped living at 17. I know how you feel. Trapped in an aging,sore body with a brain that refuses to work most of the time. |
I read a lot of posts on here of people struggling with daily, debilitating depression that plagues every aspect of their lives, making it difficult to do small things like even take a shower. I feel that I am on the opposite side of the spectrum and wanted to share that it is equally as horrible.
From an outsider's p... | This would be called Persistent Depressive Disorder. I am not diagnosing you BUT I say look into it. This is exactly what I was diagnosed with along with C-PTSD.
And it sucks because I feel like I’m not sick enough. Sure I may go days without showering and brushing my teeth. I have crying episodes and I self-harm. Su... |
Thank you, that really helps. Now I feel ten times worse. | That honestly sucks! I hate when parents do that, it’s so annoying and doesn’t help what so ever. Are you okay? |
I don’t know if that makes sense. What I mean is that I stay up as late as possible wasting time because I know that if I go to sleep, I’ll wake up and have to go to school. I usually go to bed at around 3:30am and get up at 6am and it’s destroying me, I’ve been doing this for months and I’m physically weak and exhaust... | Yes, every day! It's the only thing exciting in life. Having that irregular bedtime: "When will I sleep today? I don't know!" Exhilarating. Plus, you'll probably die sooner so you won't have to deal with life as much. |
Does anyone else feel this way? This has been crossing my mind a lot lately
EDIT: I just want to thank everyone for the thoughtful, kind comments I've been recieving. It's been a nice change and I really appreciate it. You guys are the best. :) | Yeah, for a few years now.
Mostly because it'd finally bring me some peace, no pressure of letting people down, and no hurt from being let down.
I also don't think I bring much good to the world, so it wouldn't make much difference.
And lately, every day has just been waiting for the next day to come and magically ... |
The first 6 words of the title is accurate too. | This is me the past few years. |
Just curious if anyone else affected by this problem also noticed quite a big cognitive decline. Or if anyone has noticed a cognitive decline and managed to build themselves back up to that previous cognitive level. | Yes massively. I can't hold conversations very well, I also lose track of time/space. I've only just started my recovery process but i'm hoping one day I can go back to remembering stuff |
She was only 67. She told me every so often about how she always thought she'd end up with her ex husband again and how she thought they were meant to be together in the end, I don't know if she ever got the chance to tell him how she felt.
I'm extremely shaken up, but I think she wouldn't want me to be sad for her.
... | I’m so sorry for your loss ❤️ |
Basically what the title says and my current situation. | Everytime things gets better i feel that everything will go wrong and will ruin this, its really annoying (sorry for my english) |
i feel this way around everyone, friends, family, coworkers, anywhere i go. i just always feel like i’m in the background. but at the same time i like going unnoticed so i don’t have to talk to anyone and be in the spotlight.. | Yes. It's very rare to meet someone that I feel comfortable with. I usually feel like an outsider and like I dont fit in. I long to belong though lol |
I can’t even remember the last time i woke up excited for anything.
edit: Wanted to thank everyone for their kind words and sharing your own stories. Definitely glad to have this community it helps to know we aren’t alone even though it may feel that way. | We normally don't wake up excited. The biggest issue is that we start to forget the last time we were legitimately happy and then all the days blend together and memories are missing. |
Happens to me a lot. Cooking, walking to class, brushing my teeth...sometimes I just stop for like a minute, feel a tremendous sense of self-hatred and suicidal ideation, and then continue on as if nothing ever happened. | Of course, all the time. It fucking sucks. |
Like ???
I posted on AskReddit asking non-depressed people how they felt and I'm shocked. Not sure what I expected though.
You exist in this hellhole and you're just like... Chill with it? Like I'm so happy for these people but it's mindblowing! Like I have never known a time that I didn't experience severe recurri... | can you imagine waking up happy and being excited to face the day lmao |
I can’t imagine how many days I have wasted to being sad and crying and not being able to accomplish the things I need to do. I have responsibilities I have deadlines and none of them seem to matter when I am in these dark episodes. How can you force yourself to do what needs to be done when you feel so hopeless and nu... | I am feeling this exact feeling right now... I have so much to do, but I feel too numb to even start. But you've somehow inspired me to do something about that, so for the first step I'm going to just force myself to sit at my desk. Not too hard I guess. And then I'm going to play my favorite playlist on YouTube to mak... |
It feels like the harder I try to better myself, the harder it pushes back. | I'm just throwing this out there, but that kind of sounds like mania(hypo?) and the depressive state that follows. Not qualified to diagnose this at all but I do recognize what you are saying(really motivated followed by a crash) in my pattern of moods and I have bipolar disorder type 2. Or it could just be ups and dow... |
Like, the old me wasn’t even that great either but damn | The worst part is it was so gradual. That’s why I went so long without noticing. |
I know I have issues. But I go through manic mood swings, and while on the depressive end I feel like absolute shit, when I'm out of that phase and feel somewhat "normal" again I tell myself I greatly exaggerated the effect in my mind. It doesn't help that my self loathing won't let me admit that I have depression beca... | All the friggin time.
I'm severely depressed
I'm just weak, lazy and faking it |
It's just the thought, that maybe you know how to be happy. Maybe all the stuff you read online, the stuff your family tells you, the stuff you hear from your therapist, maybe it all goes somewhere in your head. Maybe you've seen enough happy, normal functioning people, that you have some idea of how to do what they do... | Or maybe I'm not even depressed. Maybe I'm just lazy and have a horrible personality.
That's the one in my head all the time. |
I know that the fact that I can brush my teeth and shower each day and show up to work each day is a blessing with my depression. But I’m also sick of constantly feeling like I’m about to break. I hate nearly downing my pills each night only to wake up the next day to plaster a fake as smile on my face and go to work. ... | Yes. Dear God, yes. Functional depression is such a bitch most days. When strangers ask me what I do for a living, I tell them I’m an actress.
I mean... it’s not a lie, is it? |
I was depressed, failing school, etc and I decided I should do my homework at a coffee shop one day. I went in and the owner was super nice and asked me if I wanted to join the rewards program and I was really craving community at this point and I was super excited.
I kept coming back to the shop to do my homework and... | This makes me happy. Sometimes it’s hard to find ways to get out of the house when you’re alone. Coffee shops are nice because you *can* be social, but you don’t have to be.
I’ve been going to a local coffee shop sporadically over the past year, whether it’s to work on art or homework. I haven’t built any lasting con... |
It's always some great 1 off line that they think is the secret to fixing everything.
"Just love yourself!" - Sure let me just go do that real quick.
"You have so much more time, things will get better!" - Lot more time for things to get worse too :)
"You'd be disappointing your family, etc" - Ah yes, by trapping... | That's because people who have never been depressed think depression is just being sad...and just sadness is easy to cure. |
Does anyone else feel like their mind isn't as sharp as it used to be? Back when I was a kid, I was actually able to focus on things and had a pretty good memory. Now, it's like I'm on permanent autopilot. I rarely ever take note of my surroundings or have clear inner monologue. I'm always stuck in this half-awake stat... | you’re describing exactly what i’m going through |
Apologies in advance for the ramble that follows and for any mistakes as this isn't my native language.
No matter how busy I make myself, it all seems pointless in the end. What the fuck am I working towards ? Doesn't seem like I have any purpose in life even though I'm 26 and most people my age are making their caree... | I feel like this, I don't necessarily want to die but at the same time there's not much I want to live for either. |
You're alive, but you aren't living. You feel like doing something, anything, but nothing is appealing. Everything feels like a chore, and it's exhausting. "Do things that you enjoy doing" doesn't work, since everything feels like watching paint dry. Realising that you're slowly beginning to lose interest in the few th... | I feel like I wrote this.
Sitting there knowing you should be enjoying what you are doing and you just don't. So frustrating. |
They just give you a taste of what you’ll never have and when your self-esteem is at an all time low it just makes you want to kill yourself even more | There's a Lovecraft book called Celephaïs. And its about a man who spends all his money to spend his life in sleep and dreaming rather than in reality. It's an interesting read and sometimes I feel like following suit. |
A house (or apartment) is surely different from a home, and it seems I haven’t had a home for many, many years now despite always having a place to stay. I understand it is a gift to have shelter, and I realize it may be insensitive to someone who is struggling with homelessness; this is just my experience. | I've heard it's actually a sign of wanting security. It's not "home" in the physical sense, but "home" in that you want to be somewhere that you feel safe and loved and wanted.
Edit- thanks for the silver! I hope one day everyone who's connecting with this can find their "home" some day soon. |
My life is objectively very easy but my depression makes it all feel like a struggle | Agreed. I feel like a spoiled brat all the time. But I also feel a little deluded and helpless. |
I'm so tired and I hate everything. | This is a pretty accurate description of my life actually. Wanna talk about it? |
I'm so tired of making excuses. I am sick, just in my head. | I just say "I'm sick.".
It is true -- mental illness is illness.
It is none of their issue what ailment I'm suffering from, no obligation or guilt tripping from my side to specify. |
Exercise/physical activity, eating healthy, spending time in nature, finding a hobby are all things that are supposed to "be good for your mental health"... but by definition, depression is a problem *precisely because* it inhibits your inability to function, much less do things that are good for you. Finding a therapi... | Amen to this you’re spot on! I’m feeling the same way and it’s like why not just put myself out of misery instead? I don’t want to have to endure years of trying to maybe fix myself when it seems like I’ve hit a point of no return and I’m completely broken :( |
I have never been in this low mental state before
Edit: i read every comment you all are so wholesome🤗!! ! you are the best people on earth ! this subreddit is full of amazing people who understand each other!
2 Edit: thank you for gifts !! | i feel you. im so fucking tired of it...my parents paid so much already and i know im a disafuckingpointment. i cant stand this shit i hate it |
I finally did it guys!!!!! 2 years!!
I was so depressed 2 years ago I started skipping classes, I failed every single class I was in. My GPA dropped to a 1.7. I lost my financial aid, which I couldn't go back the next semester without.
I spent the last 2 years, becoming more and more depressed because I couldn't aff... | Congratulations! I did pretty much the same thing, and it was tough but well worth it to go back. Good luck! You got this. :) |
Being suicidal is like being on a really terrible night out. I'm having a terrible time but my friends and family are all enjoying it so I stick around. They're the ones that invited me and said I'd have a good time. But as time goes on, the desire to leave just gets stronger and stronger so I try to distract myself by... | Oh this definitely hit the feels brother |
It feels like I'm on a rollercoaster with 80% super lows and 20% kinda highs.. | Yes. For me, the motivatated times keep getying shorter and further apart. |
I'm never going to get better why the fuck should I even try. | hey, chin up. you can still go on walks. i’ve been going on walks lately and it’s scientifically proven in several different ways to make you happier. seeing the beauty of nature is great. try to find paths or forests! |
I wrote a suicide note today.
I listened to funeral music.
I lined up all my pills.
I cried. And cried more.
I thought of my mom.
I thought of my dad.
I thought of Paulie.
I thought of Ang.
I thought of Kris.
I thought of everyone.
I thought of soldiers in war.
I thought of terminal illness.
I thought of m... | Im really proud of you |
I hate this. | Depressed because unloved, unloved because depressed. |
The point I realised that I think I collapsed in some way. That I only live from one day to another. That maybe my suicidal tendencies are just wanting to stop that cycle which slowly rots my mind.
I feel like Im just a pile of dust on the edge of the table, waiting for someone to clean the table and stop my existance... | I feel that way while at work, I just want the damn day to end as fast as possible.. then I get home and although I'm still not happy per se, I don't want the day to end.. then it's over too soon and I know I have to sleep and go back to work again to repeat the cycle |
It's the closest thing to dying. This life sucks. | Yes. Sleep is the greatest escape I have these days. But then sometimes I get insomnia and can't access it. The worst. |
Like, I’m still alive, but I can’t experience my life anymore. I’m basically a walking dead zombie. | Do you have a lock on where the depression is coming from? If you're experiencing chronic numbness, I can think of a couple common sources from suppressing memory or emotion, to a life philosophy of nihilism making you think nothing matters, to hyperoveranalysis leading you to think that every action you'll take will e... |
My actual personality is over the top, fun(in my opinion), confident, and kind. But the depression teams up with social anxiety so that I just don't have enough enough energy to act like who I truly am. I turn into this very flat, monotone, boring, quiet person who I would never want to hang out with or date.
It's the... | This doesn’t come off as arrogant or insensitive at all. I know exactly how you’re feeling. It really sucks. I’m a shy, introverted person to begin with, but anxiety and depression has really just killed any semblance of personality. Unfortunately I turn to drinking to get myself out of my bubble. Whenever I hang out w... |
You know the feeling - you're hungry and open the friedge but everything in there looks disgusting. So you either give up and don't eat or force down something that is completely unsatisfying. That is every part of my life right now.
I don't know how else to explain it. I have energy now (with my meds) and an urge to ... | Wow, that is exactly how it feels. |
Saying things like “she’s so emotional hahaha” and telling her friend everything I just said that was making me upset.
Everything about me is just a joke to her, just a topic of discussion for her to gawk over.
I don’t even know why I’m crying, what else should I expect from someone who hasn’t ever given me any kind ... | Family is mostly a product of random chance. You don’t owe your family anything except for how they’ve treated you. If your family treats you like this, they don’t have to be a part of your life. |
I am emotionally and physically drained. Tired of this thing called life. I hate people😔
Edit: I just want to say thank you for your kind words. This has really shon me that I am not alone | felt this today, it never goes away. |
I’m too cowardly and afraid of pain to commit suicide but I just don’t want to exist. | Same here. And I don't even know why! I want to be energetic, but it's like I'm tired all the time, even I didn't do a single thing. (Pardon my English) |
The worst part about depression for me, even worse than suicidal thoughts or constant pain, is the huge toll it has on my mental faculties.
I think slower. I need longer for decision making and understanding pretty basic things in conversations. I can't plan anything because it is too much mental effort. I read a sen... | Yeah, that sucks. I feel the same way. Obsessive thoughts have made me less sharp, and depression has made me less alert. It's hard to get out of the spiral of negative thinking.
But I'm trying to have confidence in the brain's plasticity, kind of like using the placebo affect to my advantage. Every time a negative t... |
I'm discouraged today! :D
Edit: This is a bit overwhelming. But reading all your comments was lovely. I hope every single one of you struggling will find the light one day. I guess we can run this marathon together if that's what it should come for. You lean on me so your broken leg doesn't hurt as much, and I'll lea... | Such a perfect analogy. I hate talking about my depression, I stopped after I opened up to someone about it and their response was “just try thinking positive:)”
Well gee, why didn’t I think of that?! |
Update:
Sorry in advance, I’m on mobile and this is long.
I really wasn’t expecting this amount of support and kindness from so many people. Thank you all for the uplifting words and thank you for the rewards!
I’d like to first address any concerns about meeting up during the pandemic. My friend and I made plans to... | I know we're supposed to be focusing on the 2nd half of your story, but I really want to applaud you for the first half. 👏 You made plans! 👏 You got dressed nicely! 👏 You even put on makeup! 👏 You didn't cancel and you made it to the coffee shop! 👏 Yay, congrats!! 👏👏👏
You did the things that you have control o... |
My parents don’t seem to grasp this concept, just needed to vent | Sometimes humor actually makes me feel worse, like I'm laughing but it's fake or something. |
But depression is much more than that.
It’s the excuses you have to make when you can’t make that meeting.
It’s the friends and family you’ve lost because you can’t explain why.
It’s the opportunities that land in everyone else’s lap, that they get to grasp with both hands, while yours slip out of your grasp. ... | I don't know what part of me is depression and what is just my personality |
Title says it all. Trying to get your life together just feels like working at a job I hate. | Managing a mental illness is a full time job you get overworked over and don't get paid for
and it contractually obligates you to have difficulty finding another job and to do shit
and as time passes, the more you fall behind and like
fuck that shit |
it’s the calmness around me, silence, no responsibilities, no work, just me and quiet room full of nothing.
I just want this moment to last for as long as possible so I refuse going to sleep.
thinking about waking up and going through another day just makes me sick. | same. for some reason my brain thinks that if I don't go to sleep the next day won't start so it's all good |
Going to sleep is my favorite thing bc I can shut off everything else.
Edited to add: I am so sorry you’re all relating to this. We can all get through these moments together. The good news is that we never have to live a day twice. Once today is over, that’s it. If we survive today we can survive tomorrow 💕 | Every single day. To cope with being awaken all day I try to play random games on my phone or watching random youtube videos. |
Jesus, how do I even start. As you could read by the title, I'm a black man. I've always been in the fight. Grew up with racism in all its forms in my country, which, ironically, usually denies there ever being racism in any way.
The kind of shit I've heard through my entire life has molded me into someone with no sel... | Hey my brother keep your head up. I know how you feel, I'm a black man as well and I'm sick with all this racism. But keep your head up man, no matter what don't quit, I got you in my prayers. |
ive never been diagnosed with anything, let alone talked to a professional but I have been chronically sad/down/depressed/who fuckin knows for years. ive been going to the gym a lot to try to stop feeling so shitty about (or let’s be real, for) myself. I never talk to anyone- just listen to my music and try to do whate... | These types of people are the reason i try to keep going in life. Salt of the earth. most people dont ask their friends how they do let alone a complete stranger. |
I don’t think i could ever kill myself but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to die. It’d just be so much easier than disappointing everyone I love if something just happened to me and I died. I know it isn’t right to think like this but I can’t stop.
Edit: this blew up, it’s kinda bittersweet knowing so many others fee... | That's exactly how a feel. Many times when I cross a street I think to not look any direction and just go and whatever happens happens |
I found that a lot of times in the past I would be rushed out the office with crappy advice that I was already “trying” to do and then I panic and try to desperately get everything out by the end of the session. It’s hard to open up about it when I’m having an episode because the symptoms of pure confusion, difficulty ... | Yes! Every time I went and still every time I go to my psychiatry appointments! I can cover maybe one or two things when there's twenty and I remember when I get in the car to leave. The memory problems, concentration, and the brain fog are my least favorite symptoms! |
Just a loop of unhappiness, really hope I can fix it soon. I wanna know what the fuck happened to my motivation and care for life. | I have this too. No motivation to do anything whatsoever, but no ability to rest either. As soon as I sit down, a voice tells me I'm lazy, useless and unproductive. A friend I talked to thinks it's related to upbringing and how strictly your parents pushed you.
Ps: I just noticed you commented on my last post. Thanks... |
Whenever I feel sad I don’t try to cheer up I try to make myself sadder because I like it more. I feel addicted to isolating myself from others and there’s a small part of me that enjoys feeling depressed and isolated. Depression feels strangely comforting at times. Does anyone else have this issue? | Holy fuck yes. I spent a good portion of the weekend listening to depressing music on repeat and just wallowing in my misery. I believe it's called "fetishizing your pain" and definitely isnt healthy. I've found I've gotten better about not doing that as much as I used to, and also dont seek out drugs to numb my pain a... |
its like when you are playing videogame and you get stuck on some part of mission,while others are having fun,you are having the worst time in ur entire life | As the lyrics say:
"And then one day you find
Ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run
You missed the starting gun" |
Today I was feeling extremely low. I don't know but my I feel like my ability to process information and write has been decreased. I'm just so angry and irritable. I hate this feeling | Yeah, all the time. I'm totally incapable of studying when I'm really depressed. I can't remember anything, I can read something 10 times and still manage to not understand it. You're not alone, don't worry. Try going for a walk when it happens or take a cold shower. It doesn't always work, but sometimes it does. |
For most people nostalgia is generally accepted as being a nice feeling, a pleasant memory. But for me it just reminds of a more innocent, happier time when I was child. I thought my future was good and all I cared about was playing with friends and climbing trees. How things have changed
Edit: I genuinely didn't expe... | I know exactly how you feel. I'd kill to go back to those days of running around the forest in my old neighborhood with all my old friends. We've all gone our separate ways. Some of us were best friends from the age of 3 all the way to college but we have now all gone our separate ways. I mean I cherish the memories wi... |
what do you guys say when someone gets mad at you for being sad? or when your being moody because your sad? | I always jut say im tired, and people believe it. They just leave me alone after |
Idk if that makes sense. But I don't want to kill myself, I really don't. I want to be killed. I want to be shot or to not wake up. I don't want to make the choice to kill myself because my friends and family will feel responsible but I want to die. | Makes sense, I thought the same thing in the throes of suicidal depression that I wanted it to end, but not through my own action so I could avoid hell, leave my family with fewer questions, lots of reasons. I hope you find the root to this and take proper aim at it to send this pain to the abyss where it belongs, bud. |
*CW*
anywhere, really, work/jobs included. I can't keep track of my lies. My "headaches" and "migraines" and "feeling sick" are all lies. I can't keep track of them. I wish instead of saying "I stayed home because of my headache" I could say the truth "I have no motivation or energy. I want to kill myself. I hate mys... | I think I found the trick for work.
Every-time I mention I'm the 'caretaker for' whoever is a family member I 'live with', somehow companies can turn from "this is a 9-6 no exceptions" to "yeah, we can look at a work from home type arrangement". |
This has been really scaring me lately. Since becoming depressed I've noticed more and more;
- an inability to maintain thoughtful conversations with people
- severely reduced attention span
- short term memory loss
- severely reduced motivation
I think it largely has to do with my partaking in escapism, as I spen... | Sadly I get this a great deal, and it drives me crazy, I am sorry your going through it as well. I used to be able to watch a TV show or movie and care about it, now I have to pause ever 15 or 30 minutes and wait, watching a show or film can take me all day, I just can't bring myself to give a shit about pretend. I lov... |
I lowkey wish I can be pushed over the edge so I'll have the courage to end it all (as horrible as that sounds) | I know exactly how you're feeling.. I'm feeling it right now |
I wonder how much longer I can continue like this | I feel the same way. . .
I’m not staying alive for myself. I’m staying alive for everyone else. |
As the title says. I feel like I'm getting worse and worse at everything. I feel like I'm getting weaker, much much dumber (I used to know a shit ton of trivia, a lot of history and be really good at helping people out. Now I've forgotten most things unless I read up on it daily, I've been relying more and more on cann... | Child prodigy —> talented —> clever —> average —> incompetent
Never quite sure if it was the depression or just me peaking early and falling early. |
I feel like my depression took my entire teen years from me. I spent all my free time in high school crying and self harming at home while everyone else had friends and hobbies and went to parties. Then I did the same thing in college. I didn’t even move out from my parents house because I was too anxious to stay in a ... | It troubles me a lot. Thinking about what could have been if only I wasn't feeling so anxious and depressed all the time, totally missed out on being a stupid teenager. I kept telling my self that it would get better, but it has seemingly just gotten worse over the years. I don't know fam, going to a therapist soon... ... |
brushing hair, taking a bath, brushing teeth and putting on something nice is too damn hard with depression. | Just thinking about it can be too hard. Sigh. |
I can’t stop crying because I think I may have receding gums. I just lay in bed all day and cry, and the only reason I haven’t killed myself yet is because of my cat- who can’t even live with me anymore because of my landlord. So I send my dad money to feed him.
Everything is shit. I never brushed my teeth consistently... | Dentist here. You'd need a professional cleaning and you'd be good as new. All the gum swelling, bleeding issues can go away after a good thorough cleaning. Please don't hesitate or be ashamed of yourself. Mental health can take a toll on self care and we understand that. I can assure you, once you see your teeth clean... |
I dunno, I’ll always think it’s getting better and then nope, hits like a damn truck, knocks me to the ground, and runs over me.
It always gets better for a bit, or I start to look forward to things, but clearly there’s no point to hoping if it all crashes and crumbles. If you don’t look forward to anything, you can’... | Life becomes the pendulum between being depressed or not being depressed. In that sense depression becomes theme of our life even if we are not depressed at that moment. You want real joy or happiness? No, best we can do is a relief from depression in some intervals where you can see how being normal feels like. |
After bordering on suicidal yesterday, I was surprised to find I had the motivation to get out of bed when I woke up this morning. The first thing I did was make my bed, and that’s a victory in my book.
I love you all.
Edit: Thank you for the Silver, and for the heartwarming comments. It means a lot!
Edit 2: This h... | Wow. The title just about gave me goosebumps.. I vividly imagined waking up one day and *not* wanting to simply cease to exist. The dark cloud, weight on your shoulders, prison cell inside your mind, whatever you want to call it, just... wasn't there anymore. Immediately experiencing a rush of contentment and peacefuln... |
WELL I SURE SHOWED THEM, DIDN'T I?
I'm a massive fuckup. I forget things the minute after I am told them. There's just a massive pile of fuzzy static in my head. My grammar has devolved into caveman-speak.
I dunno if I blame my mental health or if I'm just stupid. | I know what you mean I can be told things a thousand times but if its something important I immediately forget it if it's not important I can remember it down to the last detail. It's really annoying. |
I have full conversations with friends I don't have, about stories I haven't lived. I imagine how they'd respond and laugh at my jokes.
I don't have any real friends, I spend my life alone because I have no real confidence in myself. I feel my youth wasting away and I hate who I am. I am unemployed so I couldn't have ... | I understand you on this one. I read fanfictions pretty often and lose myself in mental scenarios of people being concerned about me or thinking I’m so insightful and intelligent and special or unique and precious to them. In reality, I’m beyond lonely and none of those things. |
I didn’t even realise it myself until I took 2 tabs of acid and could look in at my life from an outside perspective, I’m awful to be around. I suck the energy out of every situation, I’m no fun, I’m never in the mood for laughing because I just constantly feel like crying. I’m like a black hole that sucks all the fun ... | During my most recent depression I was abandoned by the people in my life I hold dearest to my heart and consider them my reason for living. I have unresolved abandonment issues starting early on in life. I know I suck, but it just makes things so much worse when people give up on you. |
You know how many people reject me and judge me for my mental illness/trauma? Guys will fucking play me, act all into me at first, and then flip the script and be like “oh srry this ain’t gonna work out, u don’t rlly love me ur just miserable haha bye” (they don’t say that literally but im trying to summarize lol) LIKE... | It is hard. It is hard because unless you have experienced it, you really do not understand what the other person is going through and even then, we all handle things differently. I imagine most of the guys just do not realize what they are unpacking and rush blindly into it. It sucks.
Whats even worse is if you find... |
Depression isn’t just being depressed all the time. Anger and feeling numb is also a big part of it. Before I was diagnosed, I was a lot to handle. I would get angry for no reason and destroyed my things as an ineffective coping mechanism. I even went as far as assaulting my mom once but luckily, I have a mother who wa... | I have what's called smiling depression but I also get angered or irritated very easily and I can't even explain why. Like, why do I let this shit bother me? It's not even important stuff. My anxiety would be a lot better if I just chilled a bit. |
I just go through the routine every day, and kinda let everything just pass by. I don't really have much of an emotional response to anything, and my personality feels like a mush of stuff. Like, whenever things go wrong, people say they want to die, and while, yeah, I don't like what happened, I just feel kinda... neu... | I feel like my humanity was burned away long ago and I'm just a walking meat archive of knowledge and experiences. |
It’s so stressful. There’s so many things I want to do but I just can’t at the moment and it sucks. Theoretically, I could be physically paralyzed for months and it would be just the same as if I wasn’t paralyzed and living my regular depressed life. Watching your life go by without any motives and meaning as you have ... | I mean, I spend my whole life just in my room watching YouTube and I hate it but I’m too anxious to go outside, and I don’t really have any friends so it’s hard for me to find things so do. And it’s mostly cuz of bloody anxiety and ocd stopping me. Edit: Thanks for all the support! |
I’ve felt empty for days and just now cried a little. Even though I’m miserable I was almost happy. It’s worse to feel like you’re dead than being sad. | When I go from empty to sad and so pissed off I hyperventilate |
I hate working, I do believe I may be lazy but, I also hate the idea of wasting my life on something I'm not passionate in. I have no passions for existing, I'm just here because I don't want to hurt my family. They'd be devastated if I committed suicide. I try to work and it's getting to the point where I'll last a da... | You sound like me. I'm already 24 and I constantly feel like a failure because I didn't pick up working right out of college. Since hiring was slow due to the pandemic I figured I could take time to figure out what I wanted to do with my life, and I still haven't figured it out after a year of soul searching. I feel li... |
Everytime I get a compliment, my brain says it's fake. I just hate myself. | You're not alone Yoshi.
Trust me, I completely understand how you feel, I still struggle with the same issue.
One thing I have done that has helped me is to tell myself that my brain isn't my best friend sometimes, as hard as it may seem, he will will lie to you over and over again if you let him. He will tell yo... |
I have clinical depression. I was diagnosed about 5 years ago. It really hits me hard sometimes. One of my friends does not understand that people can 100% get depressed because of nothing. She thinks people only get depressed for a specific reason. Such as someone passing away, or a horrible break up. And those things... | this!!! my worst depressive episode seemed to happen basically overnight. literally it was like fine one day, awful the next. and then when it ended, it was overnight as well. just so difficult to explain that nothing happened, yet I am still depressed. |
My depression has been doing so good, I’m so proud. But my mom passed away last night of pulmonary veno occlusive disease. Really needing positivity in these trying times. Thank you so much <3 | it’s going to be ok buddy. i’m here for you and i’m sure everyone else on this sub is. you just have to be strong. not the strongest in the world, but the strongest person YOU can be. your mom would love that. |
i’m just tired of being someone i’m not
fuck everything | The sad thing is they don't really care in my experience. |
Dreams are always fantastical situations for me. They're strange and whatever, but there's always a new one and I'm excited to get out of reality. Plus I don't have to consciously do anything, but it still feels like I did everything. | I know how you feel. I have insomnia as well as depression. I just recently went through three days of hardly any sleep, and no dreams that I remember. Last night, I slept HARD. Felt like a life time of dreaming. When I woke up, I was actually a little sad. My dreams most of the time aren't stressful, life however.... |
i wish i could still be motivated throughout the day. | Every god damn day |
I’ve felt better these past few months. A lot better, great even. But this Christmas it’s like... I can’t bring myself to care for the Holidays - and it’s my favourite Holiday. I can’t explain it.
My family lives two hours away and I almost didn’t go, just because I wanted to be alone in my apartment, doing absolutel... | Merry christmas you too |
one day where i don't have to apologize for existing, one day where i can just exist instead of vowing to do better, to improve, to work harder, to be worthy
my whole life is a stupid apology. | I feel this so hard. My life has been a constant loop of fucking up, apologizing for not having the correct reaction, and then repeating the same shit for years. I hope you have a better day today |
This has probably happened hundreds of times in my lifetime. I'm 50 now, so obviously I haven't succumbed to depression yet. But the peaks and valleys are insane; I guess *I'm* insane. Yesterday it fully made sense to me - if I had had immediate means to end my life I could see taking that action. This is why I can nev... | I'm only fine after I obtained that suicide method and I know that I do have a way out if things get worse than they really are. |
My depression has depression bro. A lot of the time I doubt that I have a mental illness, and blame myself for being incapable of doing normal things. I feel empty all the time, yeah, I have a diagnosis, yeah, but I still manage to doubt myself anyways. It almost feels like it’s normal to feel empty. It’s strange when ... | I'm depressed because I'm a bad person
and
I'm a bad person because I'm depressed |
I don’t wanna end it all, but I’m just tired of living. Like each day kind of feels pointless. I feel exhausted just thinking about doing the same thing every day. I’m not happy and feel no purpose. It’s like I want it to be the next day, and the next day comes, and I’m wishing it was the next. I don’t know how to expl... | Honestly, it may sound repetitive but I truly wish I could disappear without hurting anyone. I just want to not exist. |
So this happened about 5 months ago but I found out about it this morning right after she broke up with me. We had been dating just about a year and I genuinely loved her with all my heart. I trusted her so much and she knew I have severe depression. I cant understand how another human can be that shitty. Anyone willin... | Fuck em both, sorry for the language but you deserve better. I know you are able to be strong enough to continue, and I assure you that you will find someone who will actually treat you well in the future. |
Finally opened up a little to my teacher about how I was feeling and she told me I was childish and "giving off helpless vibes"
It's alright, I guess I agree with her, I just wish she hadn't told the whole class that "your feelings are valid and you have to talk about them" etc etc, because she clearly doesn't care an... | Yep. These people simply don't get it. |
I was doing well until last week when I started sleeping 12 hours again, not eating then over-eating, feeling exhausted at the idea of a shower, crying, being irritable, all of the textbook signals of depression. I’m pushing my partner away and isolating again.
I’ve been suddenly reminded depression never goes away, ... | Honestly feel the exact same way. It just never truly leaves. You just slowly give up on doing basic everyday shit. |
I literally don’t want to do anything at all. It doesn’t bring me any happiness or joy or whatever. At best, just distracts me from feeling shitty. Absolutely nothing helps. Video games, writing, reading, doing photography, drawing... none of that makes me happy.
It’s the absolute fucking WORST. I don’t even feel like... | I feel the same way. I spend the week-end all alone in my dark room. Twitter, Reddit, Twitter again. Everyone around me seems so happy. But me... I can't remember the last time I was interested at something.
I used to make music, to go out with friends, to play video games, read comics. Now I have maybe 2, 3 friends.... |
I try and do anything and everything all day. I can't be alone with my thoughts so my objective is to do as much as I can to keep busy. Every evening I'm exhausted, emotionally drained and still depressed. I feel like I'm beating back a relentless force. I feel like I've been robbed of being proud of the little things ... | Yeah. People think you don't need help because you look normal. Even the therapists think so :/ I'm only functioning because I need to look normal to fit in the crowd and it's so exhausting. |
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