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0 | I am currently having a horrendous time in work. There is a very high level of micromanaging, nit picking,
stress and anxiety. My confidence is through the floor and I am struggling immensely with my mental health at the moment,
I can't seem to stop crying. I have applied for so many jobs and not got any so far, so I... | I found learning about and focusing on Epictetus' three disciplines (especially the discipline of desire and aversion) to be helpful in changing my impression of such experiences, and my overall goal. Rather than desiring to please the other person (which may be impossible if their demands are irrational and based on a... | null | general_qa |
1 | My always-on brain is burning me out. I can’t stop obsessing about things that irritated me at work.
I like my job overall, but when something gets to me, I can’t shake it. It’s also been a really busy time, which has contributed to the stress.
It’s affecting my ability to enjoy my evenings and be present with family... | Take a page from Marcus Aurelius (tailored of course to your own life rather than that of a Roman emperor). Try starting your day by reminding yourself that today you are going to have to deal with some people that frustrate you, but that’s ok because you love your job and this is a part of that job; they don’t know an... | null | general_qa |
2 | I've been interested in Stoicism for the last year and have also read books like Meditations.
The one thing that I stuggle to do is keep myself accountable when it comes to addiction.
I am getting better at other aspects, such as how I respond to externals. But addictions are affecting my overall judgement.
Any advi... | I've found that ancient Stoicism in itself was not prepared for the addictions of our modern time (especially internet related addictions, or modern substance abuse with effects not known in antiquity). I would check the Cognitive Behavior Therapy and/or Acceptance and Commitment Therapy related self-help literature a... | null | general_qa |
3 | Hello all, I’m needing some help with a problem that’s been affecting me my whole life.
First off, I’m a 25 year old autistic male who jumps from one subject of interest to another particularly when it comes to living my
life and I hate being so flighty with interests and want to stop. Any advice would be helpful.
Ed... | Stoicism is not a treatment for autism. There are approaches created specifically for your issues which will be much more effective.
However, Stoicism can be a great addition to any therapy. From this perspective, the answer to your question is that you stay stoic by practicing Stoicism daily for the rest of your life... | null | general_qa |
4 | Hypocrisy and double standards Its fine in one instance but not in the other. This has stirred(or I have let it) frustration and
anger I'm aware Judgments opinions actions words double standards are out of my control but it still bothers me
(I'm doing better than before however)
How do I not let all that stated above ... | Study Stoicism. It might be useful to start with an overview like Ward Farnsworth’s The Practicing Stoic and then go on to the classics (Epictetus, Seneca, Marcus Aurelius, Musonius Rufus).
In order to get the benefits of the philosophy, you have to take the time to learn it and then begin to apply it in your life. Th... | null | general_qa |
5 | Hypocrisy and double standards Its fine in one instance but not in the other. This has stirred(or I have let it) frustration and anger I'm aware Judgments opinions actions words double standards are out of my control but it still bothers me(I'm doing better than before however)
How do I not let all that stated above e... | Take the money and post Meditations 2.1 on your desk to read at least once per hour the first month.Say to yourself in the early morning: I shall meet to-day inquisitive, ungrateful, violent, treacherous, envious, uncharitable men. All these things have come upon them through ignorance of real good and ill. But I, beca... | null | general_qa |
6 | So I am currently serving my notice since I got a really good offer from a different company which I already took.
At my current work place I have this nemesis in the department - we do not get along at all. It is very hostile and we ceased all
communication last year. We had an altercation 2 years ago where we were ... | Feeling angry and isolating yourself is giving you more of what you don’t want.
You’re able to clearly define, and articulate what you don’t want but it’s not clear what you do want. The answers to your questions are within you, and focusing on the problem isn’t going to give you insight or wisdom. Your mind and brain... | null | general_qa |
7 | Long story short: I’ve been alone for most of my life, without any friends and acquaintances. But it wasn’t until two years ago that I finally met a group of people I clicked with and seemingly meshed good with. People I thought of as family apart from my biological one. But, as the old saying goes, “nothing lasts fore... | The way you think is a chain of habits that you have accumulated throughout your life. We all know that we can avoid a habitual action. We also know that once we get bored or tired or agitated, we will do what we usually do. The only way to remove unwanted habits is to replace them. The only way to build a habit is wit... | null | general_qa |
8 | Hey, I keep having a lot of random thoughts making me emotional or other things. It’s mentally exhausting to be going through
tons of different thoughts daily. So I wonder, what would the stoics back then do besides writing them down. I mean how do I gain
control over my mind through practice and train my mind to onl... | You’re using a definition of virtue and vice that isn’t the Stoic definition. Marcus Aurelius had 13 natural kids, that’s hard to do if you’re celibate.
Virtue is practical wisdom, often conceptualised as courage, wisdom, temperance and justice. The absence of virtue is vice. That’s what the Stoics mean by vice. They’... | null | general_qa |
9 | I have been searching for this answer for quite a few days, but people who ask here about music only mention music itself,
and not potentially harmful music. But my question is this: Is music containing lyrics about vice
(for example, a rapper who sings about how much he does drugs and how much sex he has) harmful t... | is lying and saying that it was all in my head most suitable in this occasion?
It depends on what your endgame goal is. If your endgame goal is to be a wise and good person, then deception is not likely to be a good solution for this situation. This isn't about lying about hiding people in your attic after all, it's l... | null | general_qa |
10 | I was recently sharing the reason for leaving my parent's home, but over shared into details of the family matters happening
under the table so to speak. It was impulsive because I reacted to my frustrations with her not understanding how the family
members can be two faced due to her high trust in them, I suppose t... | This conundrum is as old as society itself. People spend their entire lives arguing the merits of one or the other end of that spectrum. Arguing for a middle path is generally viewed with disdain from both ends. This seems to be cross-cultural. It seems to be a stable problem across time, too.
I suspect that if the an... | null | general_qa |
11 | I am a guy that likes stoic thought and does his best to adhere to some of the principles. So, what I am going to ask you may
be a little contradicting since it might be an unstoic approach to achieve something stoic I guess. I am kind of worried of the
future of my country (Holland) and my dream would be to be part ... | Stoicism views this sort of behaviour where you beat yourself up over past mistakes as 'reasoning against nature'.You don't model yourself as a being who is part of the causality chain like everything else, but instead view yourself and your decisions as self-deterministic. This means it's possible for you to take acti... | null | general_qa |
12 | There’s truly only a few things that really get me stuck in a downward loop and that’s when I feel like I regret not doing or doing something. Particularly when it comes to the realm of dating. I think as a man you sort of always are shooting in the dark. Granted I’m not dense and can usually tell when a women is inter... | most disrespect is brought on by the individual needing to degrade others in order to elevate themselves. When two people start reflecting off of each other, it amplifies the disrespect by amplifying each one's own insecurity.
If you're secure in yourself, it doesn't hit you. It's like a dull mirror. No reflection. No... | null | general_qa |
13 | I'm reading currently "The Daily Stoic." But I don't know why I'm not able to apply these stoic sayings in real life and most of the time i make impulsive decisions then after sometime obviously i repent those decisions and feel ashamed. I'm a beginner in stoicism so also if you have any book to suggest for beginners p... | I hope you realize that not being able to follow advice you've simply heard of without first needing to verify if it's true is a feature of your mind, not a bug. If you're expecting to assimilate Stoic ideas into your thinking by reading a few articles on the internet, you should also expect to become an architect by l... | null | general_qa |
14 | (F 27) have a coworker who is (F 35) and today is the second time she told me about my “dead eyes. She says my eyes have no emotion and compared me to a dead fish. She said it cause I got my ID today and I said it looks flat (she’s a photographer so I had assumed she knew what I meant in terms of how the image was edit... | It’s very common for people to project their faults onto others. She probably was told she has “dead eyes” by someone else, or looks in the mirror and sees them.
As Epictetus would say, “For the ugliness between another’s ears is outside your control, therefore pay no attention to this self hating ho.” | null | general_qa |
15 | I had a girlfriend who was abusive, I sometimes want to tell her that even though I know it's probably pointless, and despite knowing a fair bit of stoicism, sometimes the memory of it comes back and I get angry that I was too kind and didn't call out her cruelty for what it was. Sometimes I even fool myself telling h... | You need to drop all of this, mate. She is out of your life, and while she is gone from your life, she is still left with the toxic attributes she possesses.
Hopefully, you have gained the insight to be able to discern the disrespect earlier and not to accept it. We cannot control how others act, but we must have stri... | null | general_qa |
16 | I’m in a team of a few people. Because of things that have happened in the past, I have decided that I don’t want to befriend any of them, and be completely professional but just that.
Over time, because of how quiet I am, they think it’s ok to pick on me because I don’t give a response. Two of them whisper things abo... | I would say that you're controling yourself because you decided to be professional with them, so keep this idea in mind and act towards it, if there's no major problem keep ignoring it, but if it becomes a major problem go talk to them professionaly. Look at them in the eye and sincerely reply "I am sorry you feel that... | null | general_qa |
17 | My girlfriend is always complaining, dont get me wrong I love My her so so much. But she is always complaing about everything that happens in her life and she is most of the time negative about many things. I noticed that I get affected by her negativity and was wondering how I can approach this with a stoic mindset. H... | There are a lot of nuances to this
Theres a couple of things here that you could do if she is willing to take a moment to sit down and talk with you. Make sure she isn't already in a negative mood or as negative as usual when you talk to her.
It may be good to talk with her and let her know that you have noticed her ... | null | general_qa |
18 | I feel like I wasted my life, I had a perfect life 10 years ago. Good job, financially well, physically fit, potential to settle down with a good looking smart women. But i contemplated making a decision every single time, and ended up making a lot of bad decisions. 10 years later I'm in my mid thirties heading towards... | What needs to be better? Comparing yourself to others?
You have a job? Not reading anywhere your health is going down the drain at the moment? You have a roof above your head? Food on the table?
You read the basics of our beloved and practical philosophy? Yes? Work on it. No? Work on it. It is of no use to dwell on t... | null | general_qa |
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