193
From DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition  by Marsha M. Linehan. Copyright 2015 by Marsha M. Linehan. Permis -
sion to photocopy this worksheet is granted to purchasers of this book for personal use only (see copyright page for details). Purchasers may
download a larger version of this worksheet from www.guilford.com/dbt-
worksheets .interpersonal effectiveness WorksHeet 13   (I. E. Handout 19)
Self- validation and Self-  respect
Due Date:       Name:                   Week Starting:
Fill out this sheet whenever you practice your self-  validation skills and whenever you have an oppor -
tunity to practice even if you don’t (or almost don’t) do anything to practice. Write on the back of this
sheet if you need more room.
list one self-  invalidating and two self-  validating statements you made.
1.
2.
3.
Describe a situation where you felt invalidated in the past week:

check each strategy you used during the week:
Checked all the facts to see if my responses are valid or invalid.
Checked it out with someone I could trust to validate the valid.
Acknowledged when my responses didn’t make sense and were not valid.
Worked to change invalid thinking, comments, or actions. (Stopped blaming.)
Dropped judgmental self-  statements. (Practiced opposite action.)
Reminded myself that all behavior is caused and that I am doing my best.
Was compassionate toward myself. Practiced self-  soothing.


Was compassionate toward myself. Practiced self-  soothing.
Admitted that it hurts to be invalidated by others, even if they are right.
Acknowledged when my reactions make sense and are valid in a situation.
Remembered that being invalidated, even when my response is actually valid, is rarely a
complete catastrophe.
Described my experiences and actions in a supportive environment.
Grieved traumatic invalidation in my life and the harm it has created.
Practiced radical acceptance of the invalidating person(s) in my life.
What was the outcome?


194
From DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition  by Marsha M. Linehan. Copyright 2015 by Marsha M. Linehan. Permis -
sion to photocopy this worksheet is granted to purchasers of this book for personal use only (see copyright page for details). Purchasers may
download a larger version of this worksheet from www.guilford.com/dbt-
worksheets .interpersonal effectiveness WorksHeet 14   (I. E. Handouts 20, 22)
changing Behavior with r einforcement
Due Date:       Name:                   Week Starting:
Fill out this sheet whenever you try to increase your own or someone else’s behavior with reinforce -
ment. Look for opportunities (since they occur all the time) to reinforce behavior. Write on the back
of this sheet if you need more room.
1. in advance, identify the behavior you want to increase and the reinforcer you will use.
a. For yourself:
Behavior to increase:
Reinforcer:
b. For someone else:
Behavior to increase:
Reinforcer:
2. Describe the situation(s) where you used reinforcement.
a. For yourself:
b. For someone else:
3. What was the outcome? What did you observe?
a. For yourself:

b. For someone else:

4. how did you feel afterward?

5. Would you say or do something differently next time? i f so, what?


195
From DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition  by Marsha M. Linehan. Copyright 2015 by Marsha M. Linehan. Permis -
sion to photocopy this worksheet is granted to purchasers of this book for personal use only (see copyright page for details). Purchasers may
download a larger version of this worksheet from www.guilford.com/dbt-
worksheets .Interpersonal effect Iv eness Worksheet 15   (I. E. Handouts 21–22)
Changing Behavior by Extinguishing or Punishing It
Due Date:       Name:                   Week Starting:
F
ill out this sheet whenever you try to increase your own or someone else’s behavior with reinforce -
ment. Look for opportunities (since they occur all the time) to reinforce behavior. Write on the back
of this sheet if you need more room.
1.
 I
n advance, identify the behavior you want to decrease, and decide whether you will
extinguish it by eliminating a reinforcer or stop it with punishment. (Skip the one you are
not using.)
If you are using punishment, identify the consequence. Also decide the new alternative
behavior to reinforce, and the reinforcer to use to increase it to replace the behavior you are decreasing.
a.
 F
or yourself:
Behavior to decrease:

R
einforcer to remove:

P
unishing consequence to add:

N
ew behavior and reinforcer:

b
.
 F
or someone else:
Behavior to decrease:

R
einforcer to remove:

P
unishing consequence to add:

N
ew behavior and reinforcer:

2
.
 D


N
ew behavior and reinforcer:

2
.
 D
escribe the situation(s) where you used extinction or punishment. (Circle which you
use.)a.
 F
or yourself:

b
.
 F
or someone else:

3
.
 W
hat was the outcome? What did you observe?
a.
 F
or yourself:

b
.
 F
or someone else:

4
.
 H
ow did you feel afterward?

5
.
 W
ould you do something differently next time? If so, what?


197eMoTion
regula Tion Skill S
Introduction to Handouts and Worksheets
The goal of emotion regulation is to reduce emotional suffering. The goal is not
to get rid of emotions; emotions have important functions in our lives. Emotion
regulation skills help you to change emotions that you (not other people) want to
change, or to reduce the intensity of your emotions. Emotion regulation skills can also reduce your vulnerability to becoming extremely or painfully emotional and increase your emotional resilience. Emotion regulation requires use of mindfulness
skills, particularly nonjudgmental observation and description of your own current
emotions. You have to know what an emotion is and what it does for you before you can effectively regulate it.
There are four sets of handouts and worksheets for emotion regulation skills:
Understanding and Naming Emotions ; Changing Emotional Responses ; Reducing
Vulnerability to Emotion Mind ; and Managing Really Difficult Emotions. There is
also one introductory handout–  worksheet pair:
••Emotion Regulation Handout 1: Goals of Emotion Regulation. This handout
briefly outlines the goals of the skills taught in this module. It can be used with Emo -
tion Regulation Worksheet 1: Pros and Cons of Changing Emotions.
Understanding and Naming Emotions
••Emotion Regulation Handout 2: Overview: Understanding and Naming
Emotions.  It is difficult to manage your emotions when you do not understand how
emotions work. Knowledge is power. This handout overviews the skills covered in
this section.
••Emotion Regulation Handout 3: What Emotions Do for You. There are


198 •  eMo Tion r egula Tion Skill S
reasons why humans (and many other animals) have emotions. They have three
important functions and we need them. If you have been through the Emotion Reg -
ulation module at least once, the following worksheets may be useful. If you are learning emotion regulation skills for the first time, skip these worksheets until later.
••Emotion Regulation Worksheet 2: Figuring Out What My Emotions Are
Doing for Me. This worksheet can be used with Emotion Regulation Handout 3.
Emotion Regulation Worksheet 2a: Example: Figuring Out What My Emotions Are
Doing for Me is a filled-in example of Worksheet 2.
••Emotion Regulation Worksheet 2b: Emotion Diary. This is a worksheet in a
different format that can also be used with Handout 3, to identify how your emo -
tions are functioning over time. Emotion Regulation Worksheet 2c: Example: Emo -
tion Diary  is a filled-in example of Worksheet 2c.
••Emotion Regulation Handout 4: What Makes It Hard to Regulate Your Emo -
tions.  Regulating emotions is very hard. Biology, lack of skills, reinforcing conse -
quences, moodiness, mental overload, and emotion myths can each make regulating emotions difficult.
••Emotion Regulation Handout 4a: Myths about Emotions. Do you believe any
of the myths on this handout? Use Emotion Regulation Worksheet 3: Myths about
Emotions to challenge emotion myths that may be getting in your way.
••Emotion Regulation Handout 5: A Model for Describing Emotions. Emotions
are complex and consist of several parts that happen at the same time. Changing


are complex and consist of several parts that happen at the same time. Changing
any part of this emotional response system can change the entire response. Knowing
the parts of an emotion can help you change the emotion. This handout shows these
parts in some detail.
••Emotion Regulation Handout 6: Ways to Describe Emotion. This long hand -
out lists the typical parts for 10 specific emotions: anger, disgust, envy, fear, happi -
ness, jealousy, love, sadness, shame, and guilt. The sections within each emotion on this handout generally match the parts illustrated in Emotion Regulation Handout 5. The emotion features listed in Handout 6 are not necessary to each emotion, and these features may differ from person to person.
Record your practice on either Emotion Regulation Worksheet 4 or  4a: Observ -
ing and Describing Emotions. These two worksheets differ in format, but ask for
exactly the same information. Worksheet 4 is in the same flow chart format as the models for describing emotion (Handout 5). Worksheet 4a is in a list format. Refer
to Handout 6 for ideas if you have trouble describing or identifying your emotion. Note that the “Prompting Event” consists of only the few moments immediately before the emotion fires up. The history, or story, leading up to the prompting event
goes under “Vulnerability Factors.” Don’t forget to put in physical illness or pain,
alcohol and drug use, lack of sleep, over- or undereating, and stressful events in the 24 hours before the prompting event. To rate the intensity of an emotion, use a 0–100 scale in which 0 is no emotion and 100 is the most extreme emotion.


introduction to Handouts and Worksheets • 1 99
Changing Emotional Responses
••Emotion Regulation Handout 7: Overview: Changing Emotional Responses.
This handout introduces the three skills for changing emotions: checking the facts,
opposite action, and problem solving.
••Emotion Regulation Handout 8: Checking the Facts. We often react to our
thoughts and interpretations of an event rather than to the facts of the event. Chang -
ing our beliefs, assumptions, and interpretations of events to fit the facts can change
our emotional reactions. Use Emotion Regulation Worksheet 5: Checking the Facts to record practice of this skill. Notice that this worksheet has spaces for you to write
down descriptions of the situation (Step 2) and descriptions of the thoughts and
interpretations that are likely to be setting off the emotion (Step 3). It then provides additional space in each step for you to check the facts—that is, to consider alterna -
tive descriptions, as well as alternative interpretations of the situation. At the top of
the worksheet, rate the intensity of your emotion (0 = no emotion, 100 = maximum
intensity) before checking the facts and then after checking the facts.
••Emotion Regulation Handout 8a: Examples of Emotions That Fit the Facts.
When unwanted emotions fit the facts, then checking the facts will not change the emotion. This handout lists emotions together with examples of facts that fit them.
To change these emotions, either opposite action or problem solving should be used.
••Emotion Regulation Handout 9: Opposite Action and Problem Solving:
Deciding Which to Use. When emotions fit the facts, changing the situation through


Deciding Which to Use. When emotions fit the facts, changing the situation through
problem solving can be the most effective way to change the emotion. At other times, changing how you feel about the situation through opposite action is the best course of action. The flow chart on this handout can help you figure out what skill to
use to change frequent but unwanted emotions. Use Emotion Regulation Worksheet
6: Figuring Out How to Change Unwanted Emotions to work out which skill to use. This worksheet has the same flow chart format as Handout 9.
••Emotion Regulation Handout 10: Opposite Action and  Emotion Regulation
Handout 11: Figuring Out Opposite Action. Opposite action is acting opposite to your emotional urge to do or say something. Opposite action is an effective way to
change or reduce unwanted emotions. The action urge is one of the parts of an emo -
tion (see Emotion Regulation Handout 5), and each emotion has a typical action
urge (see Emotion Regulation Handout 6). Handout 10 lists the steps for how to do
opposite action. Handout 11 is a guide for identifying opposite actions for nine spe -
cific emotions. The opposite actions on Handout 11 are, however, only suggestions.
It’s important to identify your own action urges and figure out actions opposite to those urges. To record your practice of opposite action, use Emotion Regula -
tion Worksheet 7: Opposite Action to Change Emotions. The “Before” and “After” spaces are for rating the emotion’s intensity before practicing opposite action and afterward. When you are analyzing whether the emotion is justified (i.e., whether it fits the facts), focus on the emotion’s prompting event.


200 •  eMo Tion r egula Tion Skill S
••Emotion Regulation Handout 12: Problem Solving. When an emotion fits
the facts of the situation, avoiding or changing the situation may be the best way to
change the emotion. Problem solving is the first step in changing difficult situations.
The steps of problem solving are listed on this handout. To record your practice of this skill, use Emotion Regulation Worksheet 8: Problem Solving to Change Emo -
tions.  Filling out this worksheet can be helpful in figuring out the problem and how
to solve it, but actually solving the problem (i.e., taking Steps 6 and 7 on the work -
sheet) is most important to changing emotions. Rate the intensity of the emotion (0–100) both before and after implementing a solution.
••Emotion Regulation Handout 13: Reviewing Opposite Action and Problem
Solving.  It’s important to know not only when to use opposite action or problem
solving but also to know how these two skills differ in actual practice. In its first
column, Handout 13 summarizes “justifying events” (i.e., situations that fit the
facts) for each basic emotion. The second column lists examples of opposite actions. This skill is used for unjustified emotions or justified emotions when acting on that emotion would be ineffective. The third column lists examples of acting on the
urge of a justified emotion, such as through problem solving or avoidance. Notice
that the justifying events on Handout 13 are the same as the prompting events in Emotion Regulation Handout 6: Ways to Describe Emotions. Both justifying events
and opposite actions on Handout 13 are shorthand versions of Emotion Regulation
Handout 11: Figuring Out Opposite Actions.


Handout 11: Figuring Out Opposite Actions.
Reducing Vulnerability to Emotion Mind
••Emotion Regulation Handout 14: Overview: Reducing Vulnerability to Emo -
tion Mind—Building a Live Worth Living. Emotional distress and anguish can
be reduced by decreasing factors that make you vulnerable to negative emotions
and moods. This handout is an overview of the skills in this section, which can be remembered with the term ABC PLEASE: A ccumulate positive emotions; B uild
mastery; Cope ahead of time with emotional situations; and take care of your mind
by taking care of your body (the PLEASE skills). Emotion Regulation Worksheet 9: Steps for Reducing Vulnerability to Emotion Mind is a summary worksheet for all the ABC PLEASE skills and can be used for practicing any or all of the skills.
••Emotion Regulation Handout 15: Accumulating Positive Emotions: Short
Term and Emotion Regulation Handout 16: Pleasant Events List. Handout 15 is
an overview of building positive experiences now by increasing pleasant events and
experiences. Handout 16 is a list of pleasant events. Which events on this list would
you find pleasant? Do as many of these things as you can that would make you happy or joyful, even if they seem only a little effective for this at first. Emotion Regulation Worksheet 10: Pleasant Events Diary is designed to be filled out daily.
Write out your plans for the week, and then write down what you actually did. Rate
how mindful you were to the event (i.e., how focused and in the moment you were, how much you participated). Finally, how unmindful were you of worries, and how


introduction to Handouts and Worksheets • 201
pleasant was the experience? Emotion Regulation Worksheets 9 and 13 also have
brief sections for tracking pleasant events, along with other ABC PLEASE skills.
••Emotion Regulation Handout 17: Accumulating Positive Emotions: Long
Term , and Emotion Regulation Handout 18: Values and Priorities List. It is hard
to be happy without a life experienced as worth living. Building such a life requires
attention to your own values and life priorities, and it can take time, patience, and
persistence. Handout 17 breaks down the process of building a life worth living into seven steps. Handout 18 helps with Step 2, “Identify values that are important
to you,” by listing 58 specific values grouped into 13 categories. You can choose a
general value, specific values, a combination, or values not on the list.
••Emotion Regulation Worksheets 11 and 11a: Getting from Values to Specific
Action Steps. Both these worksheets are designed to help you work out what steps are needed to build a life you want to live. Worksheet 11 provides more space and also emphasizes attending to relationships as a value.
••Emotion Regulation Worksheet 11b: Diary of Daily Actions on Values and
Priorities. This is an advanced worksheet for keeping track of actions taken across
different life goals and values. It is intended for those already experienced with DBT
skills, rather than those beginning skills training.
••Emotion Regulation Handout 19: Build Mastery and Cope Ahead. Feeling
competent and adequately prepared for difficult situations reduces vulnerability to
negative emotions and increases skillful behavior. This handout covers steps for two skills: build mastery and cope ahead of emotional situations. Use Emotion Regula -


tion Worksheet 12: Build Mastery and Cope Ahead to schedule activities to build
a sense of accomplishment and then report on what you actually did. There is also
space to report on two practices of “cope ahead.”
••Emotion Regulation Worksheet 13: Putting ABC Skills Together Day by Day.
This worksheet has a brief section for tracking A ccumulate positive emotions, B uild
mastery, and C ope ahead.
••Emotion Regulation Handout 20: Taking Care of Your Mind by Taking
Care of Your Body. An out-of-  balance body increases vulnerability to negative emo -
tions and emotion mind. Taking care of your body increases emotional resilience.
The acronym PLEASE covers treating P hysica L illness, balancing Eating, avoiding
mood- Altering substances, balancing S leep, and getting E xercise. Emotion Regula -
tion Worksheet 14: Practicing PLEASE Skills can be used to record practice during
the week. There is a row for each day; record how you practiced PLEASE skills that
day. At the bottom of each column is a space to check whether the specific skill was
helpful over the week.
••Emotion Regulation Handout 20a: Nightmare Protocol, Step by Step. Fol -
low the steps on this handout if nightmares disturb your sleep. Fill out Emotion Regulation Worksheet 14a: Target Nightmare Experience Form to follow the pro -
tocol on Handout 20a. Note that this worksheet consists of three forms: the Target
Nightmare Experience Form, the Changed Dream Experience Form, and the Dream


202 •  eMo Tion r egula Tion Skill S
Rehearsal and Relaxation Record. Some people find it easier to start with the second
form.
••Emotion Regulation Handout 20b: Sleep Hygiene Protocol. When worries
keep you from sleeping, try the steps on this handout. Use Emotion Regulation Worksheet 14b: Sleep Hygiene Practice Sheet to record your experience.
Managing Really Difficult Emotions
••Emotion Regulation Handout 21: Overview: Managing Really Difficult Emo -
tions. At times the intensity of negative emotions can be so high that special skills
are necessary to manage them. This handout is an overview of these skills.
••Emotion Regulation Handout 22: Mindfulness of Current Emotions: Let -
ting Go of Emotional Suffering. Mindfulness of current emotions means observing,
describing, and “allowing” emotions without judging them or trying to change,
block, or distract from them. Avoiding or suppressing emotion increases suffering. Mindfulness of current emotions is the path to emotional freedom. It is a critical
skill underpinning many, if not most, skills in DBT. Avoiding emotions interferes
with using almost every other skill in this module. To record practice of this skill, use Emotion Regulation Worksheet 15: Mindfulness of Current Emotions. It allows
you to check off what skills you used. If you have trouble identifying the emotion
you are feeling, review Emotion Regulation Handout 6: Ways to Describe Emotions.
On Worksheet 15, remember to rate the intensity of the emotion before and after you practice mindfulness of current emotions.
••Emotion Regulation Handout 23: Managing Extreme Emotions.  When your


••Emotion Regulation Handout 23: Managing Extreme Emotions.  When your
emotional arousal is very high, your ability to use your skills breaks down. Knowing your skills breakdown point is important; it signals the need to use crisis survival
skills (which are taught in the Distress Tolerance module) first. This handout teaches
you how to identify your skills breakdown point.
••Emotion Regulation Handout 24: Troubleshooting Emotion Regulation
Skills. When one or more of the emotion regulation skills do not seem to work, do
not give up on the skills. Instead, troubleshoot how they are being applied. This handout helps you figure out what is interfering with your efforts to manage dif -
ficult or ineffective emotions. You can also use Emotion Regulation Worksheet 16: Troubleshooting Emotion Regulation Skills , which goes over much of the same
information.


205
From DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition  by Marsha M. Linehan. Copyright 2015 by Marsha M. Linehan. Permission
to photocopy this handout is granted to purchasers of this book for personal use only (see copyright page for details). eMotion r eGulation Handout 1  (Emotion Regulation Worksheet 1)
Goals of emotion r egulation
unDerST anD anD name
your oW n emo TionS
Identify (observe and describe) your emotions.
Know what emotions do for you.
Other:
Decrea Se
The f requency
of u nWanTeD emoTionS
Stop unwanted emotions from starting in the first place.
Change unwanted emotions once they start.
Other:
Decrea Se
emoTional v ulnera BiliTy
Decrease vulnerability to emotion mind.
Increase resilience, your ability to cope with difficult things and positive emotions.
Other:
Decrea Se
emoTional SufferinG
Reduce suffering when painful emotions overcome you.
Manage extreme emotions so that you don’t make things worse.
Other:


Handouts for Understanding
and Naming Emotions


209
From DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition  by Marsha M. Linehan. Copyright 2015 by Marsha M. Linehan. Permission
to photocopy this handout is granted to purchasers of this book for personal use only (see copyright page for details).eMotion r eGulation Handout 2  (Emotion Regulation Worksheets 2–4a, 16)
overview:
understanding and n aming e motions
Wha T emo TionS Do for y ou
There are reasons why we have emotions.
We need them!
facTorS  Tha T make
reGulaTinG emoTionS  harD
Lack of skills, reinforcing consequences, moodiness, rumination/
worrying, myths about emotions, and biology can interfere
with changing emotions.
a moDel for De ScriBinG emo TionS
Emotions are complex responses.
Changing any part of the system can change the entire response.
Way S To De ScriBe emo TionS
Learning to observe, describe, and name your emotion
can help you regulate your emotions.


210
From DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition  by Marsha M. Linehan. Copyright 2015 by Marsha M. Linehan. Permission
to photocopy this handout is granted to purchasers of this book for personal use only (see copyright page for details).Emotion R Egu lation Handout 3   (Emotion Regulation Worksheets 2, 2a–c)
What Emotions Do for You
Emotions mo tivat E  (anD  or ganiz E) U s for ac tion
• •Emotions motivate our behavior. Emotions prepare us for action.
The action urge of specific emotions is often “hard-wired” in biology.
• •Emotions save time in getting us to act in important situations.
Emotions can be especially important when we don’t have time to think things through.
• •Strong emotions help us overcome obstacles—in our minds and in the environment.
Emotions co mmUn icat E  to (an D  in flU En cE) ot hEr s
• •Facial expressions are hard-wired aspects of emotions.
Facial expressions communicate faster than words.
• •Our body language and voice tone can also be hard-wired.
Like it or not, they also communicate our emotions to others.
• •When it is important to communicate to others, or send them a message,
it can be very hard to change our emotions.
• •Whether we intend it or not, our communication of emotions influences others.
Emotions co mmUn icat E  to oUr sEl v Es
• •E
motional reactions can give us important information about a situation.
Emotions can be signals or alarms that something is happening.
• •Gut feelings can be like intuition—a response to something important about the situation.


• •Gut feelings can be like intuition—a response to something important about the situation.
This can be helpful if our emotions get us to check out the facts.
• •cau
tion:  Sometimes we treat emotions as if they are facts about the world: The stronger
the emotion, the stronger our belief that the emotion is based on fact. (Examples: “If I feel unsure, I am incompetent,” “If I get lonely when left alone, I shouldn’t be left alone,” “If I feel confident about something, it is right,” “If I’m afraid, there must be danger,” “I love him, so he must be OK.”)
• •If we assume that our emotions represent facts about the world, we may use them to justify our thoughts or our actions. This can be trouble if our emotions get us to ignore the facts.


211
From DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition  by Marsha M. Linehan. Copyright 2015 by Marsha M. Linehan. Permission
to photocopy this handout is granted to purchasers of this book for personal use only (see copyright page for details).eMotion r eGulation Handout 4  (Emotion Regulation Worksheets 3, 16)
What m akes i t hard to r egulate y our e motions
Biolo Gy
Biological factors can make emotion regulation harder.
lack of Skill
You don’t know what to do to regulate your emotions.
reinforcemen T of e moTional Behavior
Your environment reinforces you when you are highly emotional.
moo DineSS
Your current mood controls what you do instead of your Wise Mind.
You don’t really want to put in time and effort to regulate your emotions.
emoTional o verloaD
High emotional arousal causes you to reach a skills breakdown point.
You can’t follow skills instructions or figure out what to do.
emoTion my ThS
Myths (e.g., mistaken beliefs) about emotions get in the way of your
ability to regulate emotions.
Myths that emotions are bad or weak lead to avoiding emotions.
Myths that extreme emotions are necessary or are part of who you are
keep you from trying to regulate your emotions.


212
From DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition  by Marsha M. Linehan. Copyright 2015 by Marsha M. Linehan. Permission
to photocopy this handout is granted to purchasers of this book for personal use only (see copyright page for details).eMotion r eGulation Handout 4a  (Emotion Regulation Worksheet 3)
myths about e motions
 1. There is a right way to feel in every situation.
Challenge :
 2. Letting others know that I am feeling bad is a weakness.
Challenge :
 3. Negative feelings are bad and destructive.
Challenge :
 4. Being emotional means being out of control.
Challenge :
 5. Some emotions are stupid.
Challenge :
 6. All painful emotions are a result of a bad attitude.
Challenge :
 7. If others don’t approve of my feelings, I obviously shouldn’t feel the way I do.
Challenge :
 8. Other people are the best judges of how I am feeling.
Challenge :
 9. Painful emotions are not important and should be ignored.
Challenge :
10. Extreme emotions get you a lot further than trying to regulate your emotions.
Challenge :
11. Creativity requires intense, often out-of-  control emotions.
Challenge :
12. Drama is cool.
Challenge :
13. It is inauthentic to try to change my emotions.
Challenge :
14. Emotional truth is what counts, not factual truth.
Challenge :
15. People should do whatever they feel like doing.
Challenge :
16. Acting on your emotions is the mark of a truly free individual.
Challenge :
17. My emotions are who I am.
Challenge :


Challenge :
17. My emotions are who I am.
Challenge :
18. My emotions are why people love me.
Challenge :
19. Emotions can just happen for no reason.
Challenge :
20. Emotions should always be trusted.
Challenge :
21. Other myth:
Challenge :


213 eMotion r eGulation Handout 5  (Emotion Regulation Worksheets 4, 4a)
model for Describing e motions
From DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition  by Marsha M. Linehan. Copyright 2015 by Marsha M. Linehan. Permission to photocopy this handout is granted to purchasers of this
book for personal use only (see copyright page for details).(Thoughts/beliefs about
prompting event)
Biological Changes
Brain changes
(neural firing)
Nervous system changes
(internal body changes
that affect muscles
and autonomic system
firing—blood vessels,
heart rate, temperature)
Experiences
Body sensations (feelings)
Action urgesExpressions
Face and Body Language
(facial expression, posture,
gestures, skin color)
Words
(what you say)
Actions
(your behavior)Preexisting
Vulnerability Factors
Interpretation
Attention/Awareness
Prompting Event
Attention/Awareness
Prompting Event 2
Secondary
Emotions
AftereffectsEmotion
Name
Awareness


214
From DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition  by Marsha M. Linehan. Copyright 2015 by Marsha M. Linehan. Permission
to photocopy this handout is granted to purchasers of this book for personal use only (see copyright page for details). eMotion r eGulation Handout 6  (Emotion Regulation Worksheets 4, 4a) (p. 1 of 10)
Ways to Describe e motions
anGer WorDS
anger bitterness fury indignation vengefulness
aggravation exasperation grouchiness irritation wrath
agitation ferocity grumpiness outrage
annoyance frustration hostility rage
prompting e vents for f eeling anger
••Having an important goal blocked.
••You or someone you care about being
attacked or threatened by others.
••Losing power, status, or respect.••Not having things turn out as expected.
••Physical or emotional pain.
••Other:
interpretations of e vents That p rompt f eelings of anger
••Believing that you have been treated unfairly.
••Blaming.
••Believing that important goals are being blocked or stopped.
••Believing that things “should” be different than they are.••Rigidly thinking, “I’m right.”
••Judging that the situation is illegitimate or wrong.
••Ruminating about the event that set off the anger in the first place.
••Other:
Biological c hanges and e xperiences of anger
••Muscles tightening.
••Teeth clamping together.
••Hands clenching.
••Feeling your face flush or get hot.
••Feeling like you are going to explode.••Being unable to stop tears.


••Feeling like you are going to explode.••Being unable to stop tears.
••Wanting to hit someone, bang the wall, throw something, blow up.
••Wanting to hurt someone.
••Other:
expressions and a ctions of anger
••Physically or verbally attacking.
••Making aggressive or threatening gestures.
••Pounding, throwing things, breaking things.
••Walking heavily, stomping, slamming doors.
••Walking out.
••Using a loud, quarrelsome, or sarcastic voice.
••Using obscenities or swearing.
••Criticizing or complaining.••Clenching your hands or fists.
••Frowning, not smiling, mean expression.
••Brooding or withdrawing from others.
••Crying.
••Grinning.
••A red or flushed face.
••Other:
aftereffects of anger
••Narrowing of attention.
••Attending only to the situation that’s making you angry.
••Ruminating about the situation making you angry or about situations in the past.••Imagining future situations that will make you angry.
••Depersonalization, dissociative experiences, numbness.
••Other:
(continued on next page )
Note.  Adapted from Table 3 in Shaver, P., Schwartz, J., Kirson, D., & O’Connor, C. (1987). Emotion knowledge: Further exploration of a proto -
type approach. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 52 (6), 1061–1086. Copyright 1987 by the American Psychological Association.
Adapted by permission.


215eMotion r eGulation Handout 6  (p. 2 of 10)
DiSGuST Wor DS
disgust aversion dislike distaste repugnance resentment sickened
abhorrence condescension derision hate repelled revolted spite
antipathy contempt disdain loathing repulsion scorn vile
prompting e vents for f eeling Disgust
••Seeing/smelling human or animal waste
products.
••Having a person or an animal that is dirty, slimy, or unclean come close to you.
••Tasting something or being forced to swallow something you really don’t want.
••Seeing or being near a dead body.
••Touching items worn or owned by a stranger,
dead person, or disliked person.
••Observing or hearing about a person who
grovels or who strips another person of dignity.••Seeing blood; getting blood drawn.
••Observing or hearing about a person acting with extreme hypocrisy/fawning.
••Observing or hearing about betrayal, child abuse, racism, or other types of cruelty.
••Being forced to watch something that deeply
violates your own Wise Mind values.
••Being confronted with someone who is
deeply violating your own Wise Mind values.
••Being forced to engage in or watch unwanted sexual contact.
••Other:
interpretations of e vents That p rompt f eelings of Disgust
••Believing that:
••You are swallowing something toxic.
••Your skin or your mind is being contaminated.
••Your own body or body parts are ugly.
••Others are evil or the “scum” of the earth, or that they disrespect authority or the group.
••Disapproving of/feeling morally superior to another.


••Disapproving of/feeling morally superior to another.
••Extreme disapproval of yourself or your own feelings, thoughts, or behaviors.
••Judging that a person is deeply immoral or has sinned or violated the natural order of things.
••Judging someone’s body as extremely ugly.
••Other:
Biological c hanges and e xperiences of Disgust
••Feelings of nausea; sick feeling.
••Urge to vomit, vomiting, gagging, choking.
••Having a lump in your throat.
••Aversion to drinking or eating.
••Intense urge to destroy or get rid of
something.••Urge to take a shower.
••Urge to run away or push away.
••Feeling contaminated, dirty, unclean.
••Feeling mentally polluted.
••Fainting.
••Other:
expressions and a ctions of Disgust
••Vomiting, spitting out.
••Closing your eyes, looking away.
••Washing, scrubbing, taking a bath.
••Changing your clothes; cleaning spaces.
••Avoiding eating or drinking.
••Pushing or kicking away; running away.
••Treating with disdain or disrespect.
••Stepping over; crowding another person out.••Physically attacking causes of your disgust.
••Using obscenities or cursing.
••Clenching your hands or fists.
••Frowning, or not smiling.
••Mean or unpleasant facial expression.
••Speaking with a sarcastic voice tone.
••Nose and top lip tightened up; smirking.
••Other:
aftereffects of Disgust
••Narrowing of attention.


aftereffects of Disgust
••Narrowing of attention.
••Ruminating about the situation that’s making
you feel disgusted.••Becoming hypersensitive to dirt.
••Other:
(continued on next page )


216eMotion r eGulation Handout 6  (p. 3 of 10)
envy Wor DS
envy craving displeased greed pettiness
bitterness discontented dissatisfied “green-eyed” resentment
covetous disgruntled down- hearted longing wishful
prompting e vents for f eeling envy
••Someone has something you really want or
need but don’t or can’t have.
••You are not part of the “in” crowd.
••Someone appears to have everything.
••You are alone while others are having fun.
••Someone else gets credit for what you’ve done.
••Someone gets positive recognition for something and you don’t.••Others get something you really want and you don’t get it.
••Being around people who have more than you have.
••Someone you are competing with is more successful than you in an area important to
you.
••Other:
interpretations of e vents That p rompt f eelings of envy
••Thinking you deserve what others have.
••Thinking others have more than you.
••Thinking about how unfair it is that you have
such a bad lot in life compared to others.
••Thinking you have been treated unfairly by life.
••Thinking you are unlucky.
••Thinking you are inferior, a failure, or mediocre in comparison to others whom you want to be like.
••Comparing yourself to others who have more than you.
••Comparing yourself to people who have characteristics that you wish you had.
••Thinking you are unappreciated.
••Other:
Biological c hanges and e xperiences of envy
••Muscles tightening.
••Teeth clamping together, mouth tightening.


••Muscles tightening.
••Teeth clamping together, mouth tightening.
••Feeling your face flush or get hot.
••Feeling rigidity in your body.
••Pain in the pit of the stomach.
••Having an urge to get even.
••Hating the other person.
••Wanting to hurt the people you envy.  ••Wanting the person or people you envy to lose what they have, to have bad luck, or to be hurt.
••Feeling pleasure when others experience failure or lose what they have.
••Feeling unhappy if another person
experiences some good luck.
••Feeling motivated to improve yourself.
••Other:
expressions and a ctions of envy
••Doing everything you can to get what the
other person has.
••Working a lot harder than you were to get what you want.
••Trying to improve yourself and your situation.
••Taking away or ruining what the other person has.
••Attacking or criticizing the other person.
••Doing something to get even.••Doing something to make the other person fail or lose what he or she has.
••Saying mean things about the other person or making the person look bad to others.
••Trying to show the other person up, to look better than the other person.
••Avoiding persons who have what you want.
••Other:
aftereffects of envy
••Narrowing of attention.
••Attending only to what others have that you don’t.
••Ruminating when others have had more than you.
••Discounting what you do have; not appreciating things you have or things others do for you.
••Ruminating about what you don’t have.


••Ruminating about what you don’t have.
••Making resolutions to change.
••Other:
(continued on next page )


217eMotion r eGulation Handout 6  (p. 4 of 10)
fear Wor DS
fear dread horror nervousness shock uneasiness
anxiety edginess hysteria overwhelmed tenseness worry
apprehension fright jumpiness panic terror
prompting e vents for f eeling f ear
••Having your life, your health, or your well-
being threatened.
••Being in the same situation (or a similar one) where you have been threatened or gotten hurt in the past, or where painful things have happened.
••Flashbacks.
••Being in situations where you have seen others threatened or be hurt.••Silence.
••Being in a new or unfamiliar situation.
••Being alone (e.g., walking alone, being home alone, living alone).
••Being in the dark.
••Being in crowds.
••Leaving your home.
••Having to perform in front of others.
••Pursuing your dreams.
••Other:
interpretations of e vents That p rompt f eelings of f ear
••Believing that:
••You might die, or you are going to die.
••You might be hurt or harmed.
••You might lose something valuable.
••Someone might reject, criticize, or dislike you.
••You will embarrass yourself.
••Failure is possible; expecting to fail.••Believing that:
••You will not get help you want or need.
••You might lose help you already have.
••You might lose someone important.
••You might lose something you want.
••You are helpless or are losing a sense of
control.
••You are incompetent or are losing mastery.
••Other:


control.
••You are incompetent or are losing mastery.
••Other:
Biological c hanges and e xperiences of f ear
••Breathlessness.
••Fast heartbeat.
••Choking sensation, lump in throat.
••Muscles tensing, cramping.
••Clenching teeth.
••Urge to scream or call out.••Feeling nauseated.
••Getting cold; feeling clammy.
••Feeling your hairs standing on end.
••Feeling of “butterflies” in stomach.
••Wanting to run away or avoid things.
••Other:
expressions and a ctions of f ear
••Fleeing, running away.
••Running or walking hurriedly.
••Hiding from or avoiding what you fear.
••Engaging in nervous, fearful talk.
••Pleading or crying for help.
••Talking less or becoming speechless.
••Screaming or yelling.
••Darting eyes or quickly looking around.
••Frozen stare.••Talking yourself out of doing what you fear.
••Freezing, or trying not to move.
••Crying or whimpering.
••Shaking, quivering, or trembling.
••A shaky or trembling voice.
••Sweating or perspiring.
••Diarrhea, vomiting.
••Hair erect.
••Other:
aftereffects of f ear
••Narrowing of attention.
••Being hypervigilant to threat.
••Losing your ability to focus or becoming
disoriented or dazed.
••Losing control.••Imagining the possibility of more loss or failure.


••Losing control.••Imagining the possibility of more loss or failure.
••Isolating yourself.
••Ruminating about other threatening times.
••Other:
(continued on next page )


218eMotion r eGulation Handout 6  (p. 5 of 10)
happine SS Wor DS
happiness satisfaction joviality exhilaration ecstasy
joy bliss triumph optimism gladness
enjoyment enthusiasm contentment zest pride
relief jolliness excitement eagerness elation
amusement thrill jubilation gaiety glee
enthrallment cheerfulness zaniness pleasure rapture
hope euphoria delight zeal
prompting e vents for f eeling h appiness
••Receiving a wonderful surprise.
••Reality exceeding your expectations.
••Getting what you want.
••Getting something you have worked hard for
or worried about.
••Things turning out better than you thought
they would.
••Being successful at a task.
••Achieving a desirable outcome.
••Receiving esteem, respect, or praise.••Receiving love, liking, or affection.
••Being accepted by others.
••Belonging somewhere or with someone or a group.
••Being with or in contact with people who love or like you.
••Having very pleasurable sensations.
••Doing things that create or bring to mind pleasurable sensations.
••Other:
interpretations of e vents That p rompt f eelings of h appiness
••Interpreting joyful events just as they are, without adding or subtracting.
••Other:
Biological c hanges and e xperiences of h appiness
••Feeling excited.
••Feeling physically energetic, active.
••Feeling like giggling or laughing.
••Feeling your face flush.
••Feeling calm all the way through.••Urge to keep doing what is associated with happiness.
••Feeling at peace.


••Feeling at peace.
••Feeling open or expansive.
••Other:
expressions and a ctions of h appiness
••Smiling.
••Having a bright, glowing face.
••Being bouncy or bubbly.
••Communicating your good feelings.
••Sharing the feeling.
••Silliness.••Hugging people.
••Jumping up and down.
••Saying positive things.
••Using an enthusiastic or excited voice.
••Being talkative or talking a lot.
••Other:
aftereffects of h appiness
••Being courteous or friendly to others.
••Doing nice things for other people.
••Having a positive outlook; seeing the bright side.
••Having a high threshold for worry or annoyance.••Remembering and imagining other times you have felt joyful.
••Expecting to feel joyful in the future.
••Other:
(continued on next page )


219eMotion r eGulation Handout 6  (p. 6 of 10)
jealouS y Wor DS
jealous clutching fear of losing someone/
somethingrivalrous wary
cautious defensive suspicious watchful
clinging mistrustful possessive self- protective
prompting e vents for f eeling j ealous
••An important relationship is threatened or in
danger of being lost.
••A potential competitor pays attention to
someone you love.
••Someone:
••Is threatening to take away important things in your life.
••Goes out with the person you like.
••Ignores you while talking to a friend of yours.
••Is more attractive, outgoing, or self-
confident than you.••You are treated as unimportant by a person you want to be close to.
••Your partner tells you that he or she desires more time alone.
••Your partner appears to flirt with someone else.
••A person you are romantically involved with looks at someone else.
••You find the person you love is having an affair with someone else.
••Other:
interpretations of e vents That p rompt f eelings of j ealousy
••Believing that:
••Your partner does not care for you any more.
••You are nothing to your partner.
••Your partner is going to leave you.
••Your partner is behaving inappropriately.
••You don’t measure up to your peers.
••I deserve more than what you are receiving.••Believing that:
••You were cheated.
••No one cares about you.
••Your rival is possessive and competitive.
••Your rival is insecure.


••Your rival is possessive and competitive.
••Your rival is insecure.
••Your rival is envious.
••Other:
Biological c hanges and e xperiences of j ealousy
••Breathlessness.
••Fast heartbeat.
••Choking sensation, lump in throat.
••Muscles tensing.
••Teeth clenching.
••Becoming suspicious of others.
••Having injured pride.••Feelings of rejection.
••Needing to be in control.
••Feeling helpless.
••Wanting to grasp or keep hold of what you have.
••Wanting to push away or eliminate your rival.
expressions and a ctions of j ealousy
••Violent behavior or threats of violence toward the person threatening to take something away.
••Attempting to control the freedom of the person you are afraid of losing.
••Verbal accusations of disloyalty or unfaithfulness.
••Spying on the person.••Interrogating the person; demanding accounting of time or activities.
••Collecting evidence of wrongdoings.
••Clinging; enhanced dependency.
••Increased or excessive demonstrations of love.
••Other:
aftereffects of j ealousy
••Narrowing of attention.
••Seeing the worst in others.
••Being mistrustful across the board. ••Being hypervigilant to threats to your relationships.
••Becoming isolated or withdrawn.
••Other:
(continued on next page )


220Emotion R Egu lation Handout 6   (p. 7 of 10)
Love Words
love attraction enchantment limerence sympathy
adoration caring fondness longing tenderness
affection charmed infatuation lust warmth
arousal compassion kindness passion
desire liking sentimentality
Prompting
ev
ents for Feeling Love
• •A person:
• •Offers or gives you something you want,
need, or desire.
• •Does things you want or need.
• •Does things you particularly value or admire.
• •Feeling physically attracted to someone.
• •Being with someone you have fun with.• •You spend a lot of time with a person.
• •You share a special experience with a person.
• •You have exceptionally good communication with a person.
• •Other:

Interpretations of ev ents That Prompt Feelings of Love
• •Believing that a person loves, needs, or appreciates you.
• •Thinking that a person is physically attractive.
• •Judging a person’s personality as wonderful, pleasing, or attractive.
• •Believing that a person can be counted on, or will always be there for you.
• •Other:
B
iological Changes and
ex
periences of Love
• •When you are with or thinking about someone:
• •Feeling excited and full of energy.
• •Fast heartbeat.
• •Feeling self-

confident.
• •Feeling invulnerable.
• •Feeling happy, joyful, or exuberant.
• •Feeling warm, trusting, and secure.
• •Feeling relaxed and calm.• •Wanting the best for a person.
• •Wanting to give things to a person.


• •Wanting to give things to a person.
• •Wanting to see and spend time with a person.
• •Wanting to spend your life with a person.
• •Wanting physical closeness or sex.
• •Wanting emotional closeness.

ex
pressions and Actions of Love
• •Saying “I love you.”
• •Expressing positive feelings to a person.
• •Eye contact, mutual gaze.
• •Touching, petting, hugging, holding, cuddling.
• •Sexual activity.• •Smiling.
• •Sharing time and experiences with someone.
• •Doing things that the other person wants or needs.
• •Other:

A
ftereffects of Love
• •Only seeing a person’s positive side.
• •Feeling forgetful or distracted; daydreaming.
• •Feeling openness and trust.
• •Feeling “alive,” capable.
• •Remembering other people you have loved.• •Remembering other people who have loved you.
• •Remembering other positive events.
• •Believing in yourself; believing you are wonderful, capable, competent.
• •Other:

(continued on next page )


221eMotion r eGulation Handout 6  (p. 8 of 10)
SaDneSS Wor DS
sadness disappointment pity crushed disconnected depression
despair homesickness anguish displeasure suffering glumness
grief neglect dismay insecurity dejection melancholy
misery alienation hurt sorrow gloom alone
agony discontentment rejection defeat loneliness woe
di straught unhappiness
prompting e vents for f eeling Sadness
••Losing something or someone irretrievably.
••The death of someone you love.
••Things not being what you expected or
wanted.
••Things being worse than you expected.
••Being separated from someone you care for.
••Getting what you don’t want.
••Not getting what you have worked for.
••Not getting what you believe you need in life.
••Being rejected, disapproved of, or excluded.
••Discovering that you are powerless or helpless.••Being with someone else who is sad or in pain.
••Reading or hearing about other people’s problems or troubles in the world.
••Being alone, or feeling isolated or like an outsider.
••Thinking about everything you have not gotten.
••Thinking about your losses.
••Thinking about missing someone.
••Other:
interpretations of e vents That p rompt f eelings of Sadness
••Believing that a separation from someone will last for a long time or will never end.
••Believing that you will not get what you want or need in your life.
••Seeing things or your life as hopeless.
••Believing that you are worthless or not valuable.
••Other:
Biological c hanges and e xperiences of Sadness


••Other:
Biological c hanges and e xperiences of Sadness
••Feeling tired, run down, or low in energy.
••Feeling lethargic, listless; wanting to stay in bed all day.
••Feeling as if nothing is pleasurable any more.
••Pain or hollowness in your chest or gut.
••Feeling empty.
••Feeling as if you can’t stop crying, or if you ever start crying you will never be able to stop.
••Difficulty swallowing.
••Breathlessness.
••Dizziness.
••Other:
expressions and a ctions of Sadness
••Avoiding things.
••Acting helpless; staying in bed; being inactive.
••Moping, brooding, or acting moody.
••Making slow, shuffling movements.
••Withdrawing from social contact.
••Avoiding activities that used to bring pleasure.
••Giving up and no longer trying to improve.••Saying sad things.
••Talking little or not at all.
••Using a quiet, slow, or monotonous voice.
••Eyes drooping.
••Frowning, not smiling.
••Posture slumping.
••Sobbing, crying, whimpering.
••Other:
aftereffects of Sadness
••Not being able to remember happy things.
••Feeling irritable, touchy, or grouchy.
••Yearning and searching for the thing lost.
••Having a negative outlook.
••Blaming or criticizing yourself.••Ruminating about sad events in the past.
••Insomnia.
••Appetite disturbance, indigestion.


••Insomnia.
••Appetite disturbance, indigestion.
••Other:
(continued on next page )


222eMotion r eGulation Handout 6  (p. 9 of 10)
Shame WorDS
shame culpability embarrassment mortification shyness
contrition discomposure humiliation self- conscious
prompting e vents for f eeling Shame
••Being rejected by people you care about.
••Having others find out that you have done
something wrong.
••Doing (or feeling or thinking) something that people you admire believe is wrong or immoral.
••Comparing some aspect of yourself or your behavior to a standard and feeling as if you do not live up to that standard.
••Being betrayed by a person you love.
••Being laughed at/made fun of.
••Being criticized in public/in front of someone else; remembering public criticism.
••Others attacking your integrity.••Being reminded of something wrong, immoral, or “shameful” you did in the past.
••Being rejected or criticized for something you expected praise for.
••Having emotions/experiences that have been invalidated.
••Exposure of a very private aspect of yourself or your life.
••Exposure of a physical characteristic you dislike.
••Failing at something you feel you are (or should be) competent to do.
••Other:
interpretations of e vents That p rompt f eelings of Shame
••Believing that others will reject you (or have rejected you).
••Judging yourself to be inferior, not “good
enough,” not as good as others; self-
invalidation.
••Comparing yourself to others and thinking
that you are a “loser.”
••Believing yourself unlovable.
••Thinking that you are bad, immoral, or wrong.


••Thinking that you are bad, immoral, or wrong.
••Thinking that you are defective.••Thinking that you are a bad person or a failure.
••Believing your body (or a body part) is too big, too small, or ugly.
••Thinking that you have not lived up to others’ expectations of you.
••Thinking that your behavior, thoughts, or feelings are silly or stupid.
••Other:
Biological c hanges and e xperiences of Shame
••Pain in the pit of the stomach.
••Sense of dread.
••Wanting to shrink down and/or disappear.
••Wanting to hide or cover your face and body.
••Other:
expressions and a ctions of Shame
••Hiding behavior or a characteristic from other people.
••Avoiding the person you have harmed.
••Avoiding persons who have criticized you.
••Avoiding yourself—  distracting, ignoring.
••Withdrawing; covering the face.
••Bowing your head, groveling.••Appeasing; saying you are sorry over and
over and over.
••Looking down and away from others.
••Sinking back; slumped and rigid posture.
••Halting speech; lowered volume while talking.
••Other:
aftereffects of Shame
••Avoiding thinking about your transgression; shutting down; blocking all emotions.
••Engaging in distracting, impulsive behaviors to divert your mind or attention.
••High amount of “self-focus”; preoccupation with yourself.
••Depersonalization, dissociative experiences, numbness, or shock.
••Attacking or blaming others.
••Conflicts with other people.
••Isolation, feeling alienated.


••Conflicts with other people.
••Isolation, feeling alienated.
••Impairment in problem-  solving ability.
••Other:
(continued on next page )


223eMotion r eGulation Handout 6  (p. 10 of 10)
Guil T Wor DS
guilt culpability remorse apologetic regret sorry
prompting e vents for f eeling Guilt
••Doing or thinking something you believe is
wrong.
••Doing or thinking something that violates your personal values.
••Not doing something you said that you would do.
••Committing a transgression against another person or something you value.••Causing harm/damage to another person or object.
••Causing harm/damage to yourself.
••Being reminded of something wrong you did in the past.
••Other:
interpretations of e vents That p rompt f eelings of Guilt
••Thinking that your actions are to blame for something.
••Thinking that you behaved badly.••Thinking, “If only I had done something differently . . . ”
••Other:
Biological c hanges and e xperiences of Guilt
••Hot, red face.
••Jitteriness, nervousness. ••Suffocating.
••Other:
expressions and a ctions of Guilt
••Trying to repair the harm, make amends for the wrongdoing, fix the damage, change the outcome.
••Asking for forgiveness, apologizing, confessing.
••Giving gifts/making sacrifices to try to make up for the transgression.
••Bowing your head; kneeling before the person.
aftereffects of Guilt
••Making resolutions to change.
••Making changes in behavior.
••Joining self-help programs.
••Other:
other i mportant emotion Words
••Weariness, dissatisfaction, disinclination.
••Distress.


••Weariness, dissatisfaction, disinclination.
••Distress.
••Shyness, fragility, reserve, bashfulness, coyness, reticence.
••Cautiousness, reluctance, suspiciousness, caginess, wariness.
••Surprise, amazement, astonishment, awe, startle, wonder.
••Boldness, bravery, courage, determination.
••Powerfulness, a sense of competence, capability, mastery.
••Dubiousness, skepticism, doubtfulness.
••Apathy, boredom, dullness, ennui, fidgetiness, impatience, indifference, listlessness.


Handouts for Changing
Emotional Responses


227
From DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition  by Marsha M. Linehan. Copyright 2015 by Marsha M. Linehan. Permission
to photocopy this handout is granted to purchasers of this book for personal use only (see copyright page for details).eMotion r eGulation Handout 7  (Emotion Regulation Worksheets 5–8)
overview:
changing e motional r esponses
check T he f acTS
Check out whether your emotional reactions fit the facts
of the situation.
Changing your beliefs and assumptions to fit the facts can help
you change your emotional reactions to situations.
oppoSiTe acTion
When your emotions do not fit the facts,
or when acting on your emotions is not effective,
acting opposite (all the way)
will change your emotional reactions.
proB lem Solvin G
When the facts themselves are the problem,
solving the problem
will reduce the frequency of negative emotions.


228
From DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition  by Marsha M. Linehan. Copyright 2015 by Marsha M. Linehan. Permission
to photocopy this handout is granted to purchasers of this book for personal use only (see copyright page for details). Emotion R Egu lation Handout 8   (Emotion Regulation Worksheet 5)
Check the Facts
FaCt s
Many emotions and actions are set off by our thoughts and interpretations of events,
not by the events themselves.
Event  → tho
ughts  → Emotions
Our emotions can also have a big effect on our thoughts about events.
Event  → Emotion → tho
ughts
Examining our thoughts and checking the facts  can help us change our emotions.
How to C HECk tH E  FaCt s
1. as k: wh at is the emotion I want to change?
 ( See Emotion Regulation Handout 6: Ways of Describing Emotions.)
2. as k: wh at is the event prompting my emotion?
Describe the facts that you observed through your senses.Challenge judgments, absolutes, and black-and-white descriptions.
 ( See Mindfulness Handout 4: Taking Hold of Your Mind: “What” Skills.)
3. as k: wh at are my interpretations, thoughts, and assumptions about the
event?
Think of other possible interpretations.Practice looking at all sides of a situation and all points of view.Test your interpretations and assumptions to see if they fit the facts.
4.
 as
k:
a
m I assuming a threat?
Label the threat.Assess the probability that the threatening event will really occur.Think of as many other possible outcomes as you can.
5.
 as
k:
wh
at’s the catastrophe?


5.
 as
k:
wh
at’s the catastrophe?
Imagine the catastrophe really occurring.Imagine coping well with a catastrophe (through problem solving, coping ahead, or radical acceptance).
6.
 as
k: Does my emotion and/or its intensity fit the actual facts?
Check out facts that fit each emotion.Ask Wise Mind.
 ( See Emotion Regulation Handout 11: Figuring Out Opposite Actions, and Emotion
Regulation Handout 13: Reviewing Problem Solving and Opposite Action.)


229
From DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition  by Marsha M. Linehan. Copyright 2015 by Marsha M. Linehan. Permission
to photocopy this handout is granted to purchasers of this book for personal use only (see copyright page for details).eMotion r eGulation Handout 8a  (Emotion Regulation Worksheet 5)
examples of e motions That f it the f acts
fear 1. There is a threat to your life or that of someone you care about.
2. There is a threat to your health or that of someone you care about.
3. There is a threat to your well-being or that of someone you care about.
4. Other:
anger 1. An important goal is blocked or a desired activity is interrupted or prevented.
2. You or someone you care about is attacked or hurt by others.
3. You or someone you care about is insulted or threatened by others.
4. The integrity or status of your social group is offended or threatened.
5. Other:
Disgust 1. Something you are in contact with could poison or contaminate you.
2. Somebody whom you deeply dislike is touching you or someone you care about.
3. You are around a person or group whose behavior or thinking could seriously
damage or harmfully influence you or the group you are part of.
4. Other:
envy 1. Another person or group gets or has things you don’t have that you want or need.
2. Other:
jealousy 1. A very important and desired relationship or object in your life is in danger of
being damaged or lost.
2. Someone is threatening to take a valued relationship or object away from you.
3. Other:


3. Other:
love 1. Loving a person, animal, or object enhances quality of life for you or for those you
care about.
2. Loving a person, animal, or object increases your chances of attaining your own
personal goals.
3. Other:
Sadness 1. You have lost something or someone permanently.
2. Things are not the way you wanted or expected and hoped them to be.
3. Other:
Shame 1. You will be rejected by a person or group you care about if characteristics of
yourself or of your behavior are made public.
2. Other:
Guilt 1. Your own behavior violates your own values or moral code.
2. Other:
intensity and duration of an emotion are justified by:
1. How likely it is that the expected outcomes will occur.
2. How great and/or important the outcomes are.
3. How effective the emotion is in your life now.


230
From DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition  by Marsha M. Linehan. Copyright 2015 by Marsha M. Linehan. Permission
to photocopy this handout is granted to purchasers of this book for personal use only (see copyright page for details). Emotion R Egu lation Handout 9   (Emotion Regulation Worksheet 6)
Opposite Action and Problem Solving:
Deciding
Which to Use

 Opposite action = Acting opposite to an emotion’s action urge
Problem solving = Avoiding or changing (solving) a problem event
Ask:
Does this emotion
fit the facts?
Check the facts Ye s No
Be mindful
of current
emotions
(Emotion Regulation
Handout 22)
Act on
emotion/
action urge
Problem-solve
unwanted
emotions
(Emotion Regulation
Handout 12)Do not act on
emotion/
action urge
Consider
opposite action
(Emotion
Regulation
Handouts 10–11)Do not act on
emotion/
action urge
Change thoughts
to fit the facts
(Emotion
Regulation
Handout 8)
Do
opposite action
(Emotion
Regulation
Handouts 10–11)Be mindful
of current
emotions
(Emotion
Regulation
Handout 22)
Act, but
accept the
consequences
gracefully
Reconsider
opposite
actionYe sNo Ye s NoAsk:
Is acting on this
emotion effective?
Check Wise MindAsk:
Is acting on this
emotion effective?
Check Wise Mind


231
From DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition  by Marsha M. Linehan. Copyright 2015 by Marsha M. Linehan. Permission
to photocopy this handout is granted to purchasers of this book for personal use only (see copyright page for details). eMotion r eGulation Handout 10  (Emotion Regulation Worksheet 7)
opposite a ction
use opposite action when your emotions do noT  fit the facts
or when acting on your emotions is noT  effective.
every emo Tion ha S an ac Tion ur Ge.
chan Ge The emo Tion B y ac TinG oppo SiTe To iTS ac Tion ur Ge.
Consider these examples:
emoTion acTion ur Ge oppo SiTe ac Tion
Fear Run away/avoid Approach/don’t avoid
Anger Attack Gently avoid/be a little nice
Sadness Withdraw/isolate Get active
Shame Hide/avoid Tell the secret to people who will accept it
hoW To Do o ppoSiTe acTion, S Tep B y STep
Step 1. iDenTify anD  name T he emo Tion you want to change.
Step 2. check T he fac TS to see if your emotion is justified by the facts.
Check also whether the intensity and duration of the emotion fit the facts.
(Example: “Irritation” fits the facts when your car is cut in front of; “road rage” does not. )
An emotion is justified when your emotion fits the facts.
Step 3. iDenTify an D DeScriBe your ac Tion ur GeS.
Step 4. aSk Wi Se minD: Is expression or acting on this emotion effective in this situation?


if your emotion does not fit the facts or if acting on your emotion is not effective:
Step 5. iDenTify oppo SiTe ac TionS to your action urges.
Step 6. acT oppo SiTe all T he W ay to your action urges.
Step 7. repea T acTinG oppo SiTe to your action urges until your emotion changes.


232
From DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition  by Marsha M. Linehan. Copyright 2015 by Marsha M. Linehan. Permission
to photocopy this handout is granted to purchasers of this book for personal use only (see copyright page for details). eMotion r eGulation Handout 11  (Emotion Regulation Worksheet 7) (p. 1 of 9)
figuring o ut opposite a ctions
fear
Fear FITS  THE  FACTS  of a situation whenever there is a THREAT  to:
a. Your life or that of someone you care about.
B. Your health or that of someone you care about.
c. Your well-being or that of someone you care about.
D. Other example:
Follow these suggestions when your fear is NOT  JUSTIFIED  by the facts or NOT  EFFECTIVE :
oppoSiTe acTionS  for f ear
Do the OPPOSITE  of your fearful action urges. For example:
1. Do what you are afraid of doing . . . OVER AND OVER .
2. APPROACH  events, places, tasks, activities, and people you are afraid of.
3. Do things to give yourself a sense of CONTROL  and MASTERY  over your fears.
all- The-Way o ppoSiTe acTionS for f ear
4. Keep your EYES AND EARS OPEN and focused on the feared event.
 Look around slowly; explore.
5. Take in the information from the situation (i.e., notice that you are safe).
6. Change POSTURE AND KEEP A CONFIDENT VOICE TONE .
 Keep your head and eyes up, and your shoulders back but relaxed.


Keep your head and eyes up, and your shoulders back but relaxed.
 Adopt an assertive body posture (e.g., knees apart, hands on hips, heels a bit out).
7. Change your BODY  CHEMISTRY .
 For example, do paced breathing by breathing in deeply and breathing out slowly.
(continued on next page )


233eMotion r eGulation Handout 11  (p. 2 of 9)
anGer
Anger FITS  THE  FACTS  of a situation whenever:
a. An important goal is blocked or a desired activity is interrupted or prevented.
B. You or someone you care about is attacked or hurt by others.
c. You or someone you care about is insulted or threatened by others.
D. The integrity or status of your social group is offended or threatened.
e. Other example:
Follow these suggestions when your anger is NOT  JUSTIFIED  by the facts or is NOT  EFFECTIVE :
oppoSiTe acTionS  for anger
Do the OPPOSITE  of your angry action urges. For example:
1. GENTLY  AVOID  the person you are angry with (rather than attacking).
2. TAKE A TIME OUT , and breathe in and out deeply and slowly.
3. BE KIND (rather than mean or insulting).
all- The-Way o ppoSiTe acTionS for anger
4. IMAGINE UNDERSTANDING and empathy for the other person.
 Step into the other person’s shoes. Try to see the situation from the other person’s
point of view.
 Imagine really good reasons for what has happened.
5. CHANGE  YOUR  POSTURE.
 Unclench hands, with palms up and fingers relaxed ( WILLING  HANDS ).
 Relax chest and stomach muscles.
 Unclench teeth.
 Relax facial muscles. Half-smile.
6. CHANGE  YOUR  BODY  CHEMISTRY .
 For example, do paced breathing by breathing in deeply and breathing out slowly.
 Or, run or engage in another physically energetic, nonviolent activity.
(continued on next page )


234eMotion r eGulation Handout 11  (p. 3 of 9)
DiSGuST
Disgust FITS  THE  FACTS  of a situation whenever:
a. Something you are in contact with could poison or contaminate you.
B. Somebody whom you deeply dislike is touching you or someone you care about.
c. You are around a person or group whose behavior or thinking could seriously damage
or harmfully influence you or the group you are part of.
D. Other example:
Follow these suggestions when your disgust is NOT  JUSTIFIED  by the facts or is NOT   EFFECTIVE :
oppoSiTe acTionS  for Disgust
Do the OPPOSITE  of your disgusted action urges. For example:
1. MOVE CLOSE.  Eat, drink, stand near, or embrace what you found disgusting.
2. Be KIND  to those you feel contempt for; step into the other person’s shoes.
all- The-Way o ppoSiTe acTionS for Disgust
3. IMAGINE UNDERSTANDING and empathy for the person you feel disgust or contempt for.
 Try to see the situation from the other person’s point of view.
 Imagine really good reasons for how the other person is behaving or looking.
4. TAKE IN what feels repulsive.
 Be sensual (inhaling, looking at, touching, listening, tasting).
5. CHANGE  YOUR  POSTURE.
 Unclench hands with palms up and fingers relaxed (willing hands).
 Relax chest and stomach muscles.
 Unclench teeth.
 Relax facial muscles.
 Half-smile.
6. CHANGE  YOUR  BODY  CHEMISTRY .
 For example, do paced breathing by breathing in deeply and breathing out slowly.
(continued on next page )


235eMotion r eGulation Handout 11  (p. 4 of 9)
envy
Envy FITS  THE  FACTS  of a situation whenever:
a. Another person or group has what you want or need but don’t have.
B. Other example:
Follow these suggestions when your envy is NOT  JUSTIFIED  by the facts or is NOT  EFFECTIVE :
oppoSiTe acTionS  for envy
Do the OPPOSITE  of your envious action urges. For example:
1. INHIBIT  DESTROYING  what the other person has.
2. COUNT  YOUR  BLESSINGS . Make a list of the things you are thankful for.
all- The-Way o ppoSiTe acTionS for envy
3. COUNT  ALL your blessings.
 Avoid discounting some blessings.
 Avoid exaggerating your deprivations.
4. Stop EXAGGERATING  others’ net worth or value; check the facts.
5. CHANGE  YOUR  POSTURE.
 Unclench hands with palms up and fingers relaxed ( WILLING  HANDS ).
 Relax chest and stomach muscles.
 Unclench teeth.
 Relax facial muscles.
 Half-smile.
6. CHANGE  YOUR  BODY  CHEMISTRY .
 For example, do paced breathing by breathing in deeply and breathing out slowly.
(continued on next page )


236eMotion r eGulation Handout 11  (p. 5 of 9)
jealouS y
Jealousy FITS  THE  FACTS  of a situation whenever:
a. Someone is threatening to take a very important and desired relationship or object away
from you.
B. An important and desired relationship is in danger of being damaged or lost.
c. Other example:
Follow these suggestions when your jealousy is NOT  JUSTIFIED  by the facts or is NOT   EFFECTIVE :
oppoSiTe acTionS  for j ealousy
Do the OPPOSITE  of your jealous action urges. For example:
1. LET GO of controlling others’ actions.
2. SHARE  the things and people you have in your life.
all- The-Way o ppoSiTe acTionS for j ealousy
3. STOP  SPYING  or snooping.
 Suppress probing questions (“Where were you? Who were you with?”).
Fire your “private detective.”
4. NO AVOIDING . Listen to all the details. Focus on sensations.
 Keep your eyes open; look around.
 Take in all the information about the situation.
5. CHANGE  YOUR  POSTURE.
 Unclench hands with palms up and fingers relaxed ( WILLING  HANDS ).
 Relax chest and stomach muscles.
 Unclench teeth.
 Relax facial muscles.
 Half-smile.
6. CHANGE  YOUR  BODY  CHEMISTRY .
 For example, do paced breathing by breathing in deeply and breathing out slowly.
(continued on next page )


237Emotion R Egu lation Handout 11   (p. 6 of 9)
Love
Love (other than universal love for all) fits the facts  of a situation whenever:
A. L
oving a person, animal, or object enhances quality of life for you or for those you care
about.
B. L
oving a person, animal, or object increases your chances of attaining your own
personal goals.
C. O
ther example:
fo
llow these suggestions when your love is n Ot
 justified  by the facts or is n Ot
 effective:
op
posite A C
tions  for Love
do t
he
Op
pO
site  of your loving action urges.
fo
r example:
1. a
vOi
d the person, animal, or object you love.
2. di
stract yourself from thoughts of the person, animal, or object.
3. re
mind yourself of why love is not justified (rehearse the “cons” of loving) when loving
thoughts do arise.
A
LL-
the-W Ay
op
posite A Ct
ions for Love
4. avO
id cOn
tact with everything that reminds you of a person you love: pictures, letters/
messages/e-mails, belongings, mementos, places you were together, places you planned
to or wanted to go together, places where you know the person has been or will be.
no

following, waiting for, or looking for the person.
5. s
tOp
 expressing
LOve
 for the person, even to friends. Be unfriendly toward the person
(e.g., “unfriend” the person on
fa
cebook,
twi


fa
cebook,
twi
tter, etc.).
6. ad
just y Ou
r pOs
ture and expressi On
s if you are around the person you love.

no l
eaning toward him or her.
no g
etting close enough to touch.
no si
ghing/gazing at the person.
(continued on next page )


238Emotion R Egu lation Handout 11   (p. 7 of 9)
Sadne S S
Sadness fit S t he fact S o f a situation whenever:
a
. Y
ou have lost something or someone permanently.
B.
th
ings are not the way you want or expected and hoped them to be.
C. O
ther example:
fo
llow these suggestions when sadness is n Ot
 juS
tified  by the facts or is n Ot
 effective:
OppO
Si
te
aC
tiOn
S f
or Sadness
do t
he
Op
pOS
ite of your sad action (or inaction) urges.
fo
r example:
1.
Get active ; approach.
2. avO
id av O
idinG
.
3. B
uild ma St
erY:
do t
hings that make you feel competent and self-  c
onfident.
 ( See Emotion Regulation Handout 19: Build Mastery and Cope Ahead.)
4. in crease plea San t event S.
a
ll-the-Way Opp O
Si
te
aCt
iOnS
 for Sadness
5.
pa
y attention to the pre Sen
t mOm
ent!
 B
e mindful of your environment—each detail as it unfolds.

ex
perience new or positive activities you are engaging in.
6. c
hanGe

YO
ur p O
St
ure (adopt a “bright” body posture, with head up, eyes open, and
shoulders back).
 K
eep an upbeat voice tone.
7. c
hanGe

YO


eep an upbeat voice tone.
7. c
hanGe

YO
ur
BOdY che
miSt
rY.

fo
r example, increase physical movement (run, jog, walk, or do other active exercise).
(continued on next page )


239eMotion r eGulation Handout 11  (p. 8 of 9)
Shame
Shame FITS  THE  FACTS  of a situation whenever:
a. You will be rejected by a person or group you care about if your personal characteristics
or behavior are made public.
B. Other example:
Follow these suggestions when both  shame and guilt
are NOT  JUSTIFIED  by the facts or are NOT  EFFECTIVE :







oppoSiTe acTionS  for Shame
Do the OPPOSITE  of your action urges. For example:
1. MAKE PUBLIC  your personal characteristics or your behavior (with people who won’t
reject you).
2. REPEAT  the behavior that sets off shame over and over (without hiding the behavior from
those who won’t reject you).
all- The-Way o ppoSiTe acTionS for Shame
3. NO APOLOGIZING  or trying to make up for a perceived transgression.
4. TAKE IN all the information from the situation.
5. CHANGE  YOUR  BODY  POSTURE. Look innocent and proud. Lift your head; “puff up”
your chest; maintain eye contact. Keep your voice tone steady and clear.
Follow these suggestions when shame is NOT  JUSTIFIED  by the facts or is NOT  EFFECTIVE , but
GUILT  IS JUSTIFIED  (your behavior does violate your own moral values):









oppoSiTe acTionS  for Shame
Do the OPPOSITE  of your action urges. For example:
1. MAKE PUBLIC  your behavior (with people who won’t reject you).
2. APOLOGIZE  for your behavior.
3. REPAIR  the transgressions, or work to prevent or repair similar harm for others.
4. COMMIT  to avoiding that mistake in the future.
5. ACCEPT  the consequences gracefully.
all- The-Way o ppoSiTe acTionS for Shame
6. FORGIVE  yourself. Acknowledge the causes of your behavior.
7. LET IT GO .
(continued on next page )


240eMotion r eGulation Handout 11  (p. 9 of 9)
Guil T
Guilt FITS  THE  FACTS  of a situation whenever:
a. Your behavior violates your own values or moral code.
B. Other example:
Follow these suggestions when both  guilt and shame
are NOT  JUSTIFIED  by the facts or are NOT  EFFECTIVE :













oppoSiTe acTionS  for Guilt
Do the OPPOSITE  of your action urges. For example:
1. MAKE PUBLIC your personal characteristics or your behavior (with people who won’t
reject you).
2. REPEAT  the behavior that sets off guilt over and over (without hiding the behavior from
those who won’t reject you).
all- The-Way o ppoSiTe acTionS for Guilt
3. NO APOLOGIZING  or trying to make up for a perceived transgression.
4. TAKE IN all the information from the situation.
5. CHANGE  YOUR  BODY  POSTURE. Look innocent and proud. Lift your head; “puff up”
your chest; maintain eye contact. Keep your voice tone steady and clear.
Follow these suggestions when guilt is NOT  JUSTIFIED  by the facts or is NOT  EFFECTIVE
but SHAME  IS JUSTIFIED  (you will be rejected by people you care about if found out):









oppoSiTe acTionS  for Guilt
1. HIDE your behavior (if you want to stay in the group).
2. USE INTERPERSONAL  SKILLS  (if you want to stay in the group).
3. WORK  TO CHANGE  the person’s or group’s values.
4. JOIN A NEW  GROUP  that fits your values (and will not reject you).
5. REPEAT  the behavior that sets off guilt over and over with your new group.
all- The-Way o ppoSiTe acTionS for Guilt
6. VALIDATE  YOURSELF .


241
From DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition  by Marsha M. Linehan. Copyright 2015 by Marsha M. Linehan. Permission
to photocopy this handout is granted to purchasers of this book for personal use only (see copyright page for details). eMotion r eGulation Handout 12  (Emotion Regulation Worksheet 8)
problem Solving
Step 1. fiGure ou T and D eScriBe the problem situation.
Step 2. check T he fac TS (all the facts) to be sure you have the right problem  situation!
If your facts are correct and
the situation is the problem,
continue with STep 3.If your facts are not correct,
go back and repeat STep 1.
Step 3. iDenTify your G oal in solving the problem.
••Identify what needs to happen or change for you to feel OK.
••Keep it simple, and choose something that can actually happen.
Step 4. Brain STorm  lots of solutions.
••Think of as many solutions as you can. Ask for suggestions from people you trust.
••Do not be critical of any ideas at first. (Wait for Step 5 to evaluate ideas.)
Step 5. choo Se a solution that fits the goal and is likely to work.
••If you are unsure, choose two solutions that look good.
••Do PROS  and CONS  to compare the solutions.
••Choose the best to try first.
Step 6. p ut the solution into acTion .
••ACT! Try out the solution.
••Take the first step, and then the second . . .
Step 7. evaluaT e the results of using the solution.


Step 7. evaluaT e the results of using the solution.
It worked?  yea!!! It didn’t work?  Go back to STep 5 and choose a new solution to try.


242
From DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition  by Marsha M. Linehan. Copyright 2015 by Marsha M. Linehan. Permission
to photocopy this handout is granted to purchasers of this book for personal use only (see copyright page for details). eMotion r eGulation Handout 13  (Emotion Regulation Worksheets 6–8) (p. 1 of 3)
reviewing o pposite a ction and p roblem Solving
justifying e ventsact opposite
to emotion u rge
(for unjustified e motion)act on emotion u rge,
problem-Solve, or a void
(for j ustified emotion)feara. Your life is in danger.
B. Your health is in
danger.
c. Your well-being is in
danger.1. Do what you are afraid
of doing . . . over and
over.
2. Approach what you are
afraid of.
3. Do what gives you a
sense of control and mastery.1. Freeze/run if danger is near.
2. Remove the threatening event.
3. Do what gives you a sense
of control and mastery of the
fearful event.
4. Avoid the threatening event.angera. An important goal is
blocked or a desired
activity is interrupted or
prevented.
B. You or someone you
care about is attacked or hurt (physically or
emotionally) by others.
c. You or someone
you care about is insulted, offended, or threatened by others.1. Gently avoid.
2. Take a time out.
3. Do something kind.
4. Imagine understanding:
Step into the other person’s shoes.


4. Imagine understanding:
Step into the other person’s shoes.
5. Imagine really good
reasons for what happened.1. Fight back when being attacked,
if you have nothing to lose by fighting.
2. Overcome obstacles to goals.
3. Work to stop further attacks,
insults, and threats.
4. Avoid or walk out on people
who are threatening.Disgusta. Something you are
in contact with could poison or contaminate
you.
B. You are close to a
person or group whose actions or thinking
could seriously damage or harm you or the group you are part of.1. Move close. Embrace.
2. Be kind; step into the
other person’s shoes.
3. Take in what feels
repulsive.
4. See the situation from
the other person’s point
of view.1. Remove/clean up revolting
things.
2. Influence others to stop
harmful actions/stop things that
contaminate your community.
3. Avoid or push away harmful
people or things.
4. Imagine understanding a
person who has done disgusting things.
(continued on next page )


243justifying e ventsact opposite
to emotion u rge
(for unjustified e motion)act on emotion u rge,
problem-Solve, or a void
(for j ustified emotion)envya. Another person or
group gets or has
things you don’t have
that you want or need.1. Inhibit destroying other
people’s things.
2. Count your blessings.
3. Imagine how it all
makes sense.
4. Stop exaggerating
others’ worth or value.1. Improve yourself and your life.
2. Get others to be fair.
3. Devalue what others have that
you don’t have.
4. Put on rose-  colored glasses.
5. Avoid people who have more
than you.jealousya. An important and
desired relationship or
object is in danger of being damaged or lost.
B. Someone is
threatening to take away an important and desired relationship or object.1. Let go of trying to
control others.
2. Share what you have
with others.
3. Stop spying and
snooping.
4. No avoiding; take in all
the information.1. Protect what you have.
2. Work at being more desirable to
the person(s) you want to be in
a relationship with (i.e., fight for
relationships).
3. Leave the relationship.love a. Loving a valued/
admired person, animal, or object enhances the
quality of life for you or
those you care about.
B. Loving the person,
animal, or object
increases your chances
of attaining your own personal goals.1. Avoid the person,
animal, or object you love altogether.


animal, or object you love altogether.
2. Distract yourself from
thoughts of the beloved.
3. Avoid contact with
all reminders of the beloved.
4. Remind yourself of why
love is not justified.1. Be with the person, animal, or
thing that you love.
2. Touch, hold, etc., the beloved.
3. Avoid separations when
possible.
4. If the beloved is lost, fight to find
or get the beloved back (if it may be possible).Sadnessa. You have lost
something or someone permanently.
B. Things are not the
way you expected or wanted or hoped for.1. Activate your behavior.
2. Avoid avoiding.
3. Build mastery: Do
things that make you feel competent and self-
confident.
4. Increase pleasant
events.
5. Pay attention to
pleasant events.1. Grieve; have a memorial service;
visit the cemetery (but don’t build a house at the cemetery).
2. Retrieve/replace what is lost.
3. Plan how to rebuild a life worth
living without the beloved or
expected outcomes in your life.
4. Accumulate positives.
5. Build mastery: Do things that
make you feel competent and
self- confident.
6. Communicate need for help.
7. Accept help offered.
8. Put on rose-  colored glasses.
(continued on next page )eMotion r eGulation Handout 13  (p. 2 of 3)


244justifying e ventsact opposite
to emotion u rge
(for unjustified e motion)act on emotion u rge,
problem-Solve, or a void
(for j ustified emotion)Shamea. You will be rejected
by a very important
person or group if
characteristics of
yourself or of your behavior are made public.1. Make public your
personal characteristics or behavior (with people
who won’t reject you).
2. Repeat the behavior
without hiding from
people who won’t reject
you.
3. Or, if your  moral code is
violated, apologize and
repair; forgive yourself; and let it go.1. Hide what will get you rejected.
2. Appease those offended.
3. Change your behavior or
personal characteristics to fit in.
4. Avoid groups who disapprove
of you.
5. Find a new group that fits
your values or that likes your
personal characteristics.
6. Work to change society’s or a
person's values.Guilta. Your own behavior
violates your own
values or moral code.1. Do what makes you feel
guilty over and over and over.
2. Make public your
behavior (with people who won’t reject you).
Or, if you will be rejected by others:
3. Hide your behavior.
4. Use interpersonal skills.
5. Work to change your
group’s values or join a new group.1. Seek forgiveness.
2. Repair the harm; make things
better (or, if not possible, work to prevent or repair similar harm for others).
3. Accept the consequences
gracefully.
4. Commit to avoiding behaviors


3. Accept the consequences
gracefully.
4. Commit to avoiding behaviors
that violate your moral values in the future.eMotion r eGulation Handout 13  (p. 3 of 3)


Handouts for Reducing Vulnerability
to Emotion Mind


247
From DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition  by Marsha M. Linehan. Copyright 2015 by Marsha M. Linehan. Permission
to photocopy this handout is granted to purchasers of this book for personal use only (see copyright page for details).eMotion r eGulation Handout 14  (Emotion Regulation Worksheets 9–14b)
overview:
reducing v ulnerability to e motion m ind—
Building a l ife Worth l iving
A way to remember these skills is to remember the term aB c plea Se.
Aaccumula Te poSiTive emo TionS
Short Term:  Do pleasant things that are possible now.
long Term: Make changes in your life so that positive
events will happen more often in the future. Build a “life
worth living.”
BBuilD maSTery
Do things that make you feel competent and effective
to combat helplessness and hopelessness.
Ccope a hea D of Time
WiTh emoTional  SiTuaTionS
Rehearse a plan ahead of time so that you are
prepared to cope skillfully with emotional situations.
PLEASETake c are of y our m inD
By Takin G care of y our Bo Dy
Treat physica l illness, balance e ating,
avoid mood- altering substances, balance S leep,
and get e xercise.


248
From DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition  by Marsha M. Linehan. Copyright 2015 by Marsha M. Linehan. Permission
to photocopy this handout is granted to purchasers of this book for personal use only (see copyright page for details). eMotion r eGulation Handout 15  (Emotion Regulation Worksheets 9, 10, 13)
accumulating p ositive e motions: Short Term
accumulate positive emotions in the short term by doing these things.
Buil D poSiTive e xperience S noW
••INCREASE  PLEASANT  EVENTS  that lead to positive emotions.
••Do ONE  THING  each day from the Pleasant Events List.
(See Emotion Regulation Handout 16.)
••Practice opposite action; AVOID  AVOIDING.
••BE MINDFUL of pleasant events (no multitasking).
Be m inDful of p oSiTive e xperience S
••FOCUS  your attention on positive moments when they are happening.
No multitasking.
••REFOCUS  your attention when your mind wanders to the negative.
••PARTICIPATE  and ENGAGE  fully in each experience.
Be u nmin Dful of Worrie S
Such as . . .
••When the positive experience will end.
••Whether you deserve this positive experience.
••How much more might be expected of you now.


249
From DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition  by Marsha M. Linehan. Copyright 2015 by Marsha M. Linehan. Permission
to photocopy this handout is granted to purchasers of this book for personal use only (see copyright page for details). eMotion r eGulation Handout 16  (Emotion Regulation Worksheets 9, 10, 13) (p. 1 of 3)
pleasant e vents l ist
  1. Working on my car
  2. Planning a career
  3. Getting out of (paying down) debt
  4. Collecting things (baseball cards, coins,
stamps, rocks, shells, etc.)
  5. Going on vacation
  6. Thinking how it will be when I finish school
  7. Recycling old items
  8. Going on a date
  9. Relaxing
 10. Going to or watching a movie
 11. Jogging, walking
 12. Thinking, “I have done a full day’s work”
 13. Listening to music
 14. Thinking about past parties
 15. Buying household gadgets
 16. Lying in the sun
 17. Planning a career change
 18. Laughing
 19. Thinking about past trips
 20. Listening to other people
 21. Reading magazines or newspapers


21. Reading magazines or newspapers
 22. Engaging in hobbies (stamp collecting,
model building, etc.)
 23. Spending an evening with good friends
 24. Planning a day’s activities
 25. Meeting new people
 26. Remembering beautiful scenery
 27. Saving money
 28. Going home from work
 29. Eating
 30. Practicing karate, judo, yoga
 31. Thinking about retirement
 32. Repairing things around the house
 33. Working on machinery (cars, boats,
etc.)
 34. Remembering the words and deeds of loving people
 35. Wearing shocking clothes 36. Having quiet evenings
 37. Taking care of my plants
 38. Buying, selling stock
 39. Going swimming
 40. Doodling
 41. Exercising
 42. Collecting old things
 43. Going to a party
 44. Thinking about buying things
 45. Playing golf
 46. Playing soccer
 47. Flying kites
 48. Having discussions with friends
 49. Having family get-  togethers
 50. Riding a bike or motorbike
 51. Running track


51. Running track
 52. Going camping
 53. Singing around the house
 54. Arranging flowers
 55. Practicing religion (going to church,
group praying, etc.)
 56. Organizing tools
 57. Going to the beach
 58. Thinking, “I’m an OK person”
 59. Having a day with nothing to do
 60. Going to class reunions
 61. Going skating, skateboarding, rollerblading
 62. Going sailing or motorboating
 63. Traveling or going on vacations
 64. Painting
 65. Doing something spontaneously
 66. Doing needlepoint, crewel, etc.
 67. Sleeping
 68. Driving
 69. Entertaining, giving parties
 70. Going to clubs (garden clubs, Parents
without Partners, etc.)
 71. Thinking about getting married
 72. Going hunting
(continued on next page )
Note.  For adults or adolescents. Adapted from Linehan, M. M., Sharp, E., & Ivanoff, A. M. (1980, November). The Adult Pleasant Events Sched -
ule. Paper presented at the meeting of the Association for Advancement of Behavior Therapy, New York. Adapted by permission of the authors.


250eMotion r eGulation Handout 16  (p. 2 of 3)
 73. Singing with groups
 74. Flirting
 75. Playing musical instruments
 76. Doing arts and crafts
 77. Making a gift for someone
 78. Buying/downloading music
 79. Watching boxing, wrestling
 80. Planning parties
 81. Cooking
 82. Going hiking
 83. Writing (books, poems, articles)
 84. Sewing
 85. Buying clothes
 86. Going out to dinner
 87. Working
 88. Discussing books; going to a book club
 89. Sightseeing
 90. Getting a manicure/pedicure or facial
 91. Going to the beauty parlor
 92. Early morning coffee and newspaper
 93. Playing tennis
 94. Kissing
 95. Watching my children (play)
 96. Thinking, “I have a lot more going for
me than most people”
 97. Going to plays and concerts
 98. Daydreaming
 99. Planning to go (back) to school
100. Thinking about sex
101. Going for a drive
102. Refinishing furniture


102. Refinishing furniture
103. Watching TV
104. Making lists of tasks
105. Walking in the woods (or at the
waterfront)
106. Buying gifts
107. Completing a task
108. Going to a spectator sport (auto racing, horse racing)
109. Teaching
110. Photography
111. Going fishing
112. Thinking about pleasant events
113. Staying on a diet
114. Playing with animals
115. Flying a plane
116. Reading fiction117. Acting
118. Being alone
119. Writing diary entries or letters
120. Cleaning
121. Reading nonfiction
122. Taking children places
123. Dancing
124. Weightlifting
125. Going on a picnic
126. Thinking, “I did that pretty well,” after doing something
127. Meditating, yoga
128. Having lunch with a friend
129. Going to the mountains
130. Playing hockey
131. Working with clay or pottery
132. Glass blowing
133. Going skiing
134. Dressing up
135. Reflecting on how I’ve improved
136. Buying small things for myself (perfume, golf balls, etc.)


137. Talking on the phone
138. Going to museums
139. Thinking religious thoughts
140. Lighting candles
141. White-water canoeing/rafting
142. Going bowling
143. Doing woodworking
144. Fantasizing about the future
145. Taking ballet/tap-  dancing classes
146. Debating
147. Sitting in a sidewalk café
148. Having an aquarium
149. Participating in “living history” events
150. Knitting
151. Doing crossword puzzles
152. Shooting pool
153. Getting a massage
154. Saying, “I love you”
155. Playing catch, taking batting practice
156. Shooting baskets
157. Seeing and/or showing photos
158. Thinking about my good qualities
159. Solving riddles mentally
160. Having a political discussion
161. Buying books
(continued on next page )


251eMotion r eGulation Handout 16  (p. 3 of 3)
162. Taking a sauna or a steam bath
163. Checking out garage sales
164. Thinking about having a family
165. Thinking about happy moments in my
childhood
166. Splurging
167. Going horseback riding
168. Doing something new
169. Working on jigsaw puzzles
170. Playing cards
171. Thinking, “I’m a person who can cope”
172. Taking a nap
173. Figuring out my favorite scent
174. Making a card and giving it to someone
I care about
175. Instant-  messaging/texting someone
176. Playing a board game (e.g., Monopoly,
Life, Clue, Sorry)
177. Putting on my favorite piece of clothing
178. Making a smoothie and drinking it
slowly
179. Putting on makeup
180. Thinking about a friend’s good qualities
181. Completing something I feel great about
182. Surprising someone with a favor
183. Surfing the Internet
184. Playing video games
185. E-mailing friends
186. Going walking or sledding in a snowfall
187. Getting a haircut
188. Installing new software
189. Buying a CD or music on iTunes


189. Buying a CD or music on iTunes
190. Watching sports on TV
191. Taking care of my pets
192. Doing volunteer service
193. Watching stand-up comedy on YouTube
194. Working in my garden
195. Participating in a public performance
(e.g., a flash mob)
196. Blogging
197. Fighting for a cause
198. Conducting experiments199. Expressing my love to someone
200. Going on field trips, nature walks, exploring (hiking away from known
routes, spelunking)
201. Gathering natural objects (wild foods or
fruit, driftwood)
202. Going downtown or to a shopping mall
203. Going to a fair, carnival, circus, zoo, or amusement park
204. Going to the library
205. Joining or forming a band
206. Learning to do something new
207. Listening to the sounds of nature
208. Looking at the moon or stars
209. Outdoor work (cutting or chopping wood, farm work)
210. Playing organized sports (baseball, softball, football, Frisbee, handball, paddleball, squash, soccer, tennis, volleyball, etc.)
211. Playing in the sand, a stream, the grass; kicking leaves, pebbles, etc.
212. Protesting social, political, or environmental conditions
213. Reading cartoons or comics


213. Reading cartoons or comics
214. Reading sacred works
215. Rearranging or redecorating my room or the house
216. Selling or trading something
217. Snowmobiling or riding a dune buggy/ATV
218. Social networking
219. Soaking in the bathtub
220. Learning or speaking a foreign language
221. Talking on the phone
222. Composing or arranging songs or music
223. Thrift store shopping
224. Using computers
225. Visiting people who are sick, shut in, or in trouble
Other:


252
From DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition  by Marsha M. Linehan. Copyright 2015 by Marsha M. Linehan. Permission
to photocopy this handout is granted to purchasers of this book for personal use only (see copyright page for details). eMotion r eGulation Handout 17  (Emotion Regulation Worksheets 9, 11–11b, 13)
accumulating p ositive e motions: l ong Term
Accumulate positive emotions in the long term
to build a “life worth living.”
That is, make changes in your life so that positive events will occur in the future.
Step 1. a void avoiding.
Start now to do what is needed to build the life you want. If you are not sure about
what to do, follow the steps below.
Step 2. i dentify values that are important to you.
ASK: What values are really important to me in my life?
Examples:  Be productive; be part of a group; treat others well; be physically fit.
Step 3. i dentify one value to work on now.
ASK: What is really important to me, right now, to work on in my life?
Example:  Be productive.
Step 4. i dentify a few goals related to this value.
ASK: What specific goals can I work on that will make this value part of my life?
Examples:  Get a job where I can do something useful.
   Be more active keeping up with important tasks at home.
   Find a volunteer job that will use skills I already have.
Step 5. c hoose one goal to work on now.
Do pros and cons, if necessary, to select a goal to work on now.


Do pros and cons, if necessary, to select a goal to work on now.
Example:  Get a job where I can do something useful.
Step 6. i dentify small action steps toward your goal.
ASK: What small steps can I take to get to my goal?
Examples:  Visit places and look for job openings on the Internet in my area.
   Submit applications for jobs at places I want to work.
   Write résumé.
   Check out benefits at places I might want to work.
Step 7. Take one action step now.
Example:  Go on Internet and check for jobs in my area.


253
From DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition  by Marsha M. Linehan. Copyright 2015 by Marsha M. Linehan. Permission
to photocopy this handout is granted to purchasers of this book for personal use only (see copyright page for details). eMotion r eGulation Handout 18  (Emotion Regulation Worksheets 10, 12, 13) (p. 1 of 3)
values and p riorities l ist
In my own Wise Mind, I believe it is important to:
a. attend to relationships.
 1. Repair old relationships.
 2. Reach out for new relationships.
 3. Work on current relationships.
 4. End destructive relationships.
 Other:
B. Be part of a group.
 5. Have close and satisfying relationships with others.
 6. Feel a sense of belonging.
 7. Receive affection and love.
 8. Be involved and intimate with others; have and keep close friends.
 9. Have a family; stay close to and spend time with family members.
10. Have people to do things with.
 Other:
c. Be powerful and able to influence others.11. Have the authority to approve or disapprove of what people do, or to control how
resources are used.
12. Be a leader.
13. Make a great deal of money.
14. Be respected by others.