52Mindfulness Handout 3a   (p. 2 of 2)
5. asking is this Wise m ind? Breathing in, ask yourself, “Is this (action, thought, plan, etc.)
Wise Mind?”
••Breathing out, listen for the answer.
••Listen, but do not give yourself the answer. Do not tell yourself the answer; listen for it.
••Continue asking on each in-  breath for some time. If no answer comes, try again another
time.
6. attending to your breath coming in and out, let your attention settle into your center .
••Breathing in completely, notice and follow the sensations of your breath coming in.
••Let your attention settle into your center, at the bottom of your breath, at your solar
plexus— or
••Let your attention settle in the center of your forehead, your “third eye,” at the top of your
breath.
••Keeping your attention at your center, exhale, breathing normally, maintaining attention.
••Settle into Wise Mind.
7. expanding awareness.  Breathing in, focus your awareness on your center.
••Breathing out, stay aware of your center, but expand awareness to the space you are in now.
••Continue on in the moment.
8. Dropping into the pauses between inhaling and exhaling.
••Breathing in, notice the pause after inhaling (top of breath).
••Breathing out, notice the pause after exhaling (bottom of breath).
••At each pause, let yourself “fall into” the center space within the pause.
9. other Wise m ind practice ideas:


53
From DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition  by Marsha M. Linehan. Copyright 2015 by Marsha M. Linehan. Permission
to photocopy this handout is granted to purchasers of this book for personal use only (see copyright page for details). Mindfulness Handout 4   (Mindfulness Worksheets 2–2c, 4–4b)
Taking h old of y our m ind: “What” Skills
oBS erve
notice your body sensations  (coming through your eyes, ears, nose, skin, and tongue).
pay attention on purpose, to the present moment.
control your attention, but not what you see. Push away nothing. Cling to nothing.
practice wordless watching:  Watch thoughts come into your mind and let them slip right by
like clouds in the sky. Notice each feeling, rising and falling, like waves in the ocean.
observe both inside and outside yourself.
DeScri Be
put words on the experience. When a feeling or thought arises, or you do something,
acknowledge it. For example, say in your mind, “Sadness has just enveloped me,” or “Stomach
muscles tightening,“ or “A thought ‘I can’t do this’ has come into my mind.”
label what you observe.  Put a name on your feelings. Label a thought as just a thought, a
feeling as just a feeling, an action as just an action.
unglue your interpretations and opinions from the facts. Describe the “who, what, when,
and where” that you observe. Just the facts.


and where” that you observe. Just the facts.
Remember, if you can’t observe it through your senses, you can’t describe it.
parTicipa Te
Throw yourself completely into activities of the current moment. Do not separate yourself from what is going on in the moment (dancing, cleaning, talking to a friend, feeling happy or feeling sad).
Become one with whatever you are doing, completely forgetting yourself. Throw your attention to the moment.
act intuitively from Wise m ind. Do just what is needed in each situation—a skillful dancer on
the dance floor, one with the music and your partner, neither willful nor sitting on your hands.
Go with the flow. Respond with spontaneity.


54
From DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition  by Marsha M. Linehan. Copyright 2015 by Marsha M. Linehan. Permission
to photocopy this handout is granted to purchasers of this book for personal use only (see copyright page for details).Mindfulness Handout 4a   (Mindfulness Worksheets 2–2c, 4–4b) (p. 1 of 4)
ideas for p racticing o bserving
By c omin G Back T o your Sen SeS
remember: o bserving is bringing your mind back to the sensations of your body and mind.
observe with your eyes:
 1. Lie on the ground and watch the clouds in the sky.
 2. Walking slowly, stopping somewhere with a view, notice flowers, trees, and nature itself.
 3. Sit outside. Watch who and what go by in front of you, without following them with your
head or your eyes.
 4. Notice the facial expression and movements of another person. Refrain from labeling the person’s emotions, thoughts, or interests.
 5. Notice just the eyes, lips, or hands of another person (or just one feature of an animal).
 6. Pick up a leaf, a flower, or a pebble. Look at it closely, trying to see each detail.
 7. Find something beautiful to look at, and spend a few minutes contemplating it.
 8. Other:
observe sounds:
 9. Stop for a moment and just listen. Listen to the texture and shape of the sounds around you. Listen to the silences between the sounds.


10. If someone is talking, listen to the pitch of the voice, to the smoothness or roughness of the
sounds, to the clarity or the mumbling of the speech, to the pauses between the words.
11. Listen to music, observing each note as it comes and the spaces between the notes. Try
breathing the sounds into your body and letting them flow out again on your out breath.
12. Other:
observe smells around you:
13. Breathing in, notice any smells around you. Bring something close to your nose, and notice the smells. Take it away, and then notice the smells again. Do they linger?
14. When eating, notice the aroma of the food; when cooking, notice the aroma of the spices or
other ingredients; when bathing, smell the soap or shampoo; when walking outside, notice
the aroma of the air; when near flowers, bend down and “smell the roses.”
15. Other:
observe taste and the act of eating:
16. Putting something in your mouth, pay attention to the taste. Keep it in your mouth, and notice all the taste sensations.
17. Lick a lollipop or something else. Notice just the sensation of taste.
18. Eat a meal, or even a part of a meal, paying attention to the taste of each mouthful.
19. Other:
observe urges to do something:
When you are feeling an urge to do something impulsive,
20. “Urge-surf” by imagining that your urges are a surfboard and you are standing on the
board, riding the waves.
21. Notice any urge to avoid someone or something.


21. Notice any urge to avoid someone or something.
22. Scan your entire body, and notice the sensations. Where in the body is the urge?
23. When you are chewing your food, notice when you have the urge to swallow.
24. Other:
(continued on next page )


55Mindfulness Handout 4a   (p. 2 of 4)
observe sensations of touch on your skin:
25. Stroke your upper lip with your fingernail.
••Stop stroking, and notice how long it takes before you can’t sense your upper lip at all.
26. When walking, notice the sensations of walking—your feet hitting the ground and rising up
and down. Sometimes walk very slowly and notice. Sometimes walk very fast and notice.
27. When sitting, notice your thighs on the chair. Notice the curve of your knees and your back.
28. Pay attention to anything touching you.
••Try to feel your feet in your shoes, your body touching your clothes.
••Feel your arms touching a chair.
••Notice the sensations of your hands.
29. Touch something—the wall, a fabric, a table top, a pet, a piece of fruit, a person.
••Notice the texture of what you feel, notice the sensations on your skin.
••Try it again with another part of your body.
••Notice the sensations again.
30. Focus your attention on the sensations in your chest, your stomach, or your shoulders.
31. Focus your attention on the place in your body where you feel tight or tense.
32. Focus your attention on the space between your eyes.
33. Other:
observe your breath:  Breathe evenly and gently, focusing your attention on:
34. The movement of your stomach.
••As you begin to breathe in, allow your belly to rise in order to bring air into the lower half of your lungs.


••As the upper halves of your lungs begin to fill with air, your chest begins to rise.
••As you breathe out, notice your belly, then notice your chest. Don’t tire yourself.
35. The pauses in your breathing.
••As you breathe in, notice the brief pause when your lungs have filled with air.
••As you breathe out, notice the brief pause when you have expelled all the air.
36. The sensations in your nose as you breathe in and as you breathe out.
••As you breathe, close your mouth and breathe in through your nose, noticing the sensations traveling up and down your nostrils.
37. Your breath while walking slowly. Breathe normally.
••Determine the length of your breath—the exhalation and the inhalation—by the number of your footsteps. Continue for a few minutes.
••Begin to lengthen your exhalation by one step. Do not force a longer inhalation. Let it be natural.
••Watch your inhalation carefully to see whether there is a desire to lengthen it. Now lengthen the exhalation by one more footstep.
••Watch to see whether the inhalation also lengthens by one step or not.
••Only lengthen the inhalation when you feel that it will be comfortable.
••After 20 breaths, return your breath to normal.
38. Your breath while listening to a piece of music.
••Breathe long, light, and even breaths.
••Follow your breath; be master of it, while remaining aware of the movement and sentiments of the music.
••Do not get lost in the music, but continue to be master of your breath and yourself.


39. Your breath while listening to a friend’s words and your own replies. Continue as with music.
40. Other:
(continued on next page )


56Mindfulness Handout 4a   (p. 3 of 4)
observe thoughts coming in and out of your mind:
41. Notice thoughts as they come into your mind.
••Ask, “Where do thoughts come from?”
••Then watch them to see if you can see where they come into your mind.
42. As you notice thoughts in your mind, notice the pauses between each thought.
43. Imagine that your mind is the sky and that thoughts are clouds.
••Notice each thought-cloud as it drifts by, letting it drift in and out of your mind.
••Imagine thoughts as leaves on water flowing down a stream, as boats drifting by on the
lake, or as train cars rolling by you.
44. When worries go round and round in your mind, move your attention to the sensations in your body (those most intense right now). Then, keeping your attention on your body sensations, notice how long it takes for the worries to ooze away.
45. Step back from your mind, as if you are on top of a mountain and your mind is just a boulder down below.
••Gaze at your mind, watching what thoughts come up when you are watching it.
••Come back into your mind before you stop.
46. Watch for the first two thoughts that come into your mind.
47. Other:
imagine that your mind is a:
48. Conveyor belt, and that thoughts and feelings are coming down the belt.
••Put each thought or feeling in a box, and then put it on the conveyor belt and let it go by.


49. Conveyor belt, and that you are sorting thoughts and feelings as they come down the belt.
••Label the types of thoughts or feelings coming by (e.g., worry thoughts, thoughts about
my past, thoughts about my mother, planning-what-to-do thoughts, angry feeling, sad
feelings).
••Put them in boxes nearby for another time.
50. River, and that thoughts and feelings are boats going down the river.
••Imagine sitting on the grass, watching the boats go by.
••Describe or label each boat as it goes by.
••Try not to jump on the boat.
51. Railroad track, and that thoughts and feelings are train cars going by.
••Describe or label each as it goes by. Try not to jump on the train.
52. Other:
observe by expanding awareness:
53. Breathing in, notice your breath. Then, keeping your breath in your awareness, on the next breath notice your hands. Then, keeping both in your awareness, on the next breath expand your awareness to sounds.
••Continue holding all three in awareness at the same time.
••Practice this awareness of threes at other times, selecting other things to be aware of.
54. Keeping your focus on what you are currently doing, gently expand your awareness to include the space around you.
55. Go hug a tree, and feel the sensations of the embrace.
••Attend to the embrace of the sheets and blankets or comforters around you as you lie in bed.
••Do this when you feel lonely and want to be loved or to love.
56. Other:
(continued on next page )


57Mindfulness Handout 4a   (p. 4 of 4)
open your mind to your senses:
57. Practice walking with your senses as wide open as you can make them.
••Notice what you hear, see, and feel.
••Notice what you feel when shifting your weight between each step.
••Notice your body experience as you turn.
58. For one mouthful in a meal, pause with a spoonful or forkful of food.
••Look at what you are going to eat, smell it, and listen to it. Then, when you are ready, put
it in your mouth.
••Note the taste, texture, temperature, and even the sound your teeth make in chewing your mouthful slowly.
••Note the changes in its taste, texture, temperature, and sound as you chew it to completion.
59. Focus your mind on paying attention to each sensation that comes into your mind.
••Attend to sensations of sight, smell, touch, hearing, and taste, or to the thoughts generated by your brain.
••Notice sensations as they arise, and notice them as they fall away.
••Let your mind focus on each sensation as it arises.
••Notice each sensation with curiosity, allowing it to be. Examine the uniqueness of each
sensation.
60. Be here. Be in the present now.
••Take a moment to notice every sense you are aware of.
••To yourself, make a statement, about each sense: “I feel the chair; the chair feels me.”
“I hear the heater; the heater hears me.” “I see the wall; the wall sees me.” “I hear a stomach growl; it hears me.”


61. When a feeling arises within you, notice it—saying, for example, “A feeling of sadness is
arising within me.”
62. When a thought arises within you, notice it—saying, for example, “The thought ‘It is hot in
here’ is arising within me.”
63. Take just a moment of your time, and practice “nothing-to-do” mind.
••Let yourself become completely aware of your present experience, noticing sensations and the space around you.
64. Find a small object, one you can hold in your hand. Place it in front of you on a table or in
your lap. Observe it closely—first not moving it, and then picking it up and turning it over
and around, gazing at it from different angles and in different lights. Just notice shapes, colors, sizes, and other characteristics that are visible.
••Then change your focus to your fingers and hands touching the object. Notice the
sensations of touching the object; notice the texture, temperature, and feel of the object.
••Put the object down. Close your eyes, and inhale and exhale deeply and slowly.
••Then, with beginner’s mind, open your eyes. With new vision, once again notice the
object. With beginner’s mind, open to feeling new textures and sensations, explore the
object with your fingers and hands.
••Put down the object, and once again focus your mind on inhaling and exhaling once.
65. Other:


58Mindfulness Handout 4b   (Mindfulness Worksheets 2–2c, 4–4b)
ideas for p racticing Describing
practice describing what you see outside of yourself:
 1. Lie on the ground and watch the clouds in the sky. Find and describe cloud patterns that
you see.
 2. Sit on a bench on a busy street or at a park. Describe one thing about each person who walks by you.
 3. Find things in nature—a leaf, a drop of water, a pet or other animal. Describe each thing in as much detail as you can.
 4. Describe as accurately as you can what a person has just said to you. Check to see if you are correct.
 5. Describe a person’s face when the person seems angry, afraid, or sad. Notice and describe the shape, movement, and placement of the forehead, eyebrows, and eyes; the lips and
mouth; the cheeks; and so on.
 6. Describe what a person has done or is doing now. Be very specific. Avoid describing
intentions or outcomes of the behavior that you do not directly observe. Avoid judgmental language.
 7. Other:
practice describing thoughts and feelings:
 8. Describe your feelings as they arise within you: “A feeling of anger is arising within me.”
 9. Describe your thoughts when you feel a strong emotion: “I feel X, and my thoughts are Y.”
10. Describe your feelings after someone else does or says something: “When you do X, I feel
Y.”


Y.”
11. Describe thoughts, feelings, and what you observed others do: “When you do X, I feel Y,
and my thoughts are Z.” “When X occurs, I feel Y, and my thoughts are Z.”
12. Describe as many of your thoughts as you can while feeling a strong emotion.
13. Other:
practice describing your breathing:
14. Each time you inhale and exhale, as you inhale, be aware that “I am inhaling, 1.” When you exhale, be aware that “I am exhaling, 1.” Remember to breathe from the stomach. When beginning the second inhalation, be aware that “I am inhaling, 2.” And, slowly exhaling, be aware that “I am exhaling, 2.” Continue on up through 10. After you have reached 10, return
to 1. Whenever you lose count, return to 1.
15. Begin to inhale gently and normally (from the stomach), describing in your mind that “I
am inhaling normally.” Exhale in awareness, “I am exhaling normally.” Continue for three breaths. On the fourth breath, extend the inhalation, describing in your mind that “I am breathing in a long inhalation.” Exhale in awareness, “I am breathing out a long exhalation.”
Continue for three breaths.
16. Follow the entrance and exit of air. Say to yourself, “I am inhaling and following the
inhalation from its beginning to its end. I am exhaling and following the exhalation from its beginning to its end.”
17. Other:


59
From DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition  by Marsha M. Linehan. Copyright 2015 by Marsha M. Linehan. Permission
to photocopy this handout is granted to purchasers of this book for personal use only (see copyright page for details).Mindfulness Handout 4c   (Mindfulness Worksheets 2–2c, 4–4b)
ideas for p racticing p articipating
participate with awareness of connection to the universe:
 1. Focus your attention on where your body touches an object (floor or ground, air molecules,
a chair or armrest, your bed sheets and covers, your clothes, etc.). Try to see all the ways you are connected to and accepted by that object. Consider the function of that object with relation to you. That is, consider what the object does for you. Consider its kindness in
doing that. Experience the sensation of touching the object, and focus your entire attention
on that kindness until a sense of being connected or loved or cared for arises in your heart.
Examples:  Focus your attention on your feet touching the ground. Consider the kindness of
the ground holding you up, providing a path for you to get to other things, not letting you fall away from everything else. Focus your attention on your body touching the chair you sit in. Consider how the chair accepts you totally, holds you up, supports your back, and keeps you from falling down on the floor. Focus your attention on the sheets and covers on your bed. Consider the touch of the sheets and covers holding you, surrounding and keeping
you warm and comfortable. Consider the walls in the room. They keep out the wind and the


cold and the rain. Think of how the walls are connected to you via the floor and the air in the room. Experience your connection to the walls that provide you with a secure place to do things. Go hug a tree. Think of how you and the tree are connected. Life is in you and in the tree and both of you are warmed by the sun, held by the air and supported by the earth. Try
and experience the tree loving you by providing something to lean on, or by shading you.
 2. Dance to music.
 3. Sing along with music you are listening to.
 4. Sing in the shower.
 5. Sing and dance while watching TV.
 6. Jump out of bed and dance, or sing before getting dressed.
 7. Go to a church that sings, and join in the singing.
 8. Play karaoke with friends or at a karaoke club or bar.
 9. Throw yourself into what another person is saying.
10. Go running, focusing only on running.
11. Play a sport and throw yourself into playing.
12. Become the count of the breath, becoming only “one” when you count 1, becoming only
“two” when you count 2, and so on.
13. Become a word as you slowly say the word over and over and over.
14. Take a class in improvisational acting.
15. Take a dance class.
16. Other:


60
From DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition  by Marsha M. Linehan. Copyright 2015 by Marsha M. Linehan. Permission
to photocopy this handout is granted to purchasers of this book for personal use only (see copyright page for details). Mindfulness Handout 5   (Mindfulness Worksheets 2–2c, 5–5c)
Taking h old of y our m ind: “ how” Skills
nonju DGmenT ally
See, but don’t evaluate as good or bad. Just the facts.
accept each moment like a blanket spread out on the lawn, accepting both the rain and the
sun and each leaf that falls upon it.
acknowledge  the difference between the helpful and the harmful, the safe and the dangerous,
but don’t judge them.
acknowledge  your values, your wishes, your emotional reactions, but don’t judge them.
When you find yourself judging, don’t judge your judging.
one-  minDfully
rivet yourself to now. Be completely present to this one moment.
Do one thing at a time. Notice the desire to be half-  present, to be somewhere else, to go
somewhere else in your mind, to do something else, to multitask—and then come back to one
thing at a time.
••When you are eating, eat.
••When you are walking, walk.
••When you are worrying, worry.
••When you are planning, plan.
••When you are remembering, remember.
let go of distractions. If other actions, or other thoughts, or strong feelings distract you, go


back to what you are doing—again, and again, and again.
concentrate your mind. If you find you are doing two things at once, stop—go back to one
thing at a time (the opposite of multitasking!).
effec Tively
Be mindful of your goals in the situation, and do what is necessary to achieve them.
focus on what works. (Don’t let emotion mind get in the way of being effective.)
play by the rules.
act as skillfully as you can. Do what is needed for the situation you are in—not the situation
you wish you were in; not the one that is fair; not the one that is more comfortable.
let go of willfulness and sitting on your hands.


61
From DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition  by Marsha M. Linehan. Copyright 2015 by Marsha M. Linehan. Permission
to photocopy this handout is granted to purchasers of this book for personal use only (see copyright page for details).Mindfulness Handout 5a   (Mindfulness Worksheets 2–2c, 5–5c)
Ideas for Practicing Nonjudgmentalness
Leaving out comparisons, judgments, and assumptions:
 1. 	P
ractice observing judgmental thoughts and statements, saying in your mind,
“A

judgmental thought arose in my mind.”
 2. 	C
ount judgmental thoughts and statements (by moving objects or pieces of paper from
one pocket to another, by clicking a sports counter, or by marking a piece of paper).
 3. 	R
eplace judgmental thoughts and statements with nonjudgmental thoughts and statements.
Tips for replacing judgment by stating the facts:
1. D
escribe the facts of the event or situation— only what is observed with your senses.
2. D
escribe the consequences of the event. Keep to the facts.
3. D
escribe your own feelings in response to the facts (remember, emotions are not
judgments).
 4. 	O
bserve your judgmental facial expressions, postures, and voice tones (including
voice tones in your head).
 5. 	C
hange judgmental expressions, postures, and voice tones.
 6. 	T
ell someone what you did today nonjudgmentally, or about an event that occurred. Stay
very concrete; only relate what you observed directly.
 7. 	W


very concrete; only relate what you observed directly.
 7. 	W
rite out a nonjudgmental description of an event that prompted an emotion.
 8. 	W
rite out a nonjudgmental blow-by-blow account of a particularly important episode in your
day. Describe both what happened in your environment and what your thoughts, feelings,
and actions were. Leave out any analysis of why something happened, or why you thought, felt, or acted as you did. Stick to the facts that you observed.
 9. 	I
magine a person you are angry with. Bring to mind what the person has done that has
caused so much anger. Try to become that person, seeing life from that person’s point of view. Imagine that person’s feelings, thoughts, fears, hopes, and wishes. Imagine that person’s history and what has happened in his or her history. Imagine understanding that person.
10.
 	W
hen judgmental, practice half-  sm
iling and/or willing hands. (See Distress Tolerance
Handout 14: Half-  S
miling and Willing Hands.)
11.
Other:


62
From DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition  by Marsha M. Linehan. Copyright 2015 by Marsha M. Linehan. Permission
to photocopy this handout is granted to purchasers of this book for personal use only (see copyright page for details).Mindfulness Handout 5b   (Mindfulness Worksheets 2–2c, 5–5c)
ideas for p racticing o ne- mindfulness
1. awareness while making tea or coffee. Prepare a pot of tea or coffee to serve a guest or
to drink by yourself. Do each movement slowly, in awareness. Do not let one detail of your
movements go by without being aware of it. Know that your hand lifts the pot by its handle.
Know that you are pouring the fragrant, warm tea or coffee into the cup. Follow each step
in awareness. Breathe gently and more deeply than usual. Take hold of your breath if your mind strays.
2. awareness while washing the dishes. Wash the dishes consciously, as though each bowl
is an object of contemplation. Consider each bowl sacred. Follow your breath to prevent your mind from straying. Do not try to hurry to get the job over with. Consider washing the dishes the most important thing in life.
3. awareness while hand-  washing clothes. Do not wash too many clothes at one time.
Select only three or four articles of clothing. Find the most comfortable position to sit or
stand, so as to prevent a backache. Scrub the clothes consciously. Hold your attention on every movement of your hands and arms. Pay attention to the soap and water. When you have finished scrubbing and rinsing, your mind and body will feel as clean and fresh as your


clothes. Remember to maintain a half-smile and take hold of your breath whenever your
mind wanders.
4. awareness while cleaning house. Divide your work into stages: straightening things and
putting away books, scrubbing the toilet, scrubbing the bathroom, sweeping the floors, and dusting. Allow a good length of time for each task. Move slowly, three times more slowly than usual. Focus your attention fully on each task. For example, while placing a book on the shelf, look at the book; be aware of what book it is; know that you are in the process of placing it on the shelf; and know that you intend to put it in that specific place. Know
that your hand reaches for the book and picks it up. Avoid any abrupt or harsh movement.
Maintain awareness of the breath, especially when your thoughts wander.
5. awareness while taking a slow-  motion bath. Allow yourself 30–45 minutes to take a
bath. Don’t hurry for even a second. From the moment you prepare the bath water to the
moment you put on clean clothes, let every motion be light and slow. Be attentive of every movement. Place your attention on every part of your body, without discrimination or fear. Be aware of each stream of water on your body. By the time you’ve finished, your mind will feel as peaceful and light as your body. Follow your breath. Think of yourself as being in a clean and fragrant lotus pond in the summer.
6. awareness with meditation. Sit comfortably on the floor with your back straight, on the
floor or in a chair with both feet touching the floor. Close your eyes all the way, or open them slightly and gaze at something near. With each breath, say to yourself, quietly and gently,


the word “One.” As you inhale, say the word “One.” As you exhale, say the word “One,”
calmly and slowly. Try to collect your whole mind and put it into this one word. When your mind strays, return gently to saying “One.” If you start wanting to move, try not to move. Just gently observe wanting to move. Continue practicing a little past wanting to stop. Just gently observe wanting to stop.
7. Other:
Note.  Adapted from The Miracle of Mindfulness (pp. 84–87) by Thich Nhat Hanh. Copyright 1975, 1976 by Thich Nhat Hanh. Preface and Eng -
lish translation copyright 1975, 1976, 1987 by Mobi Ho. Adapted by permission of Beacon Press, Boston.


63
From DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition  by Marsha M. Linehan. Copyright 2015 by Marsha M. Linehan. Permission
to photocopy this handout is granted to purchasers of this book for personal use only (see copyright page for details).Mindfulness Handout 5c   (Mindfulness Worksheets 2–2c, 5–5c)
ideas for p racticing e ffectiveness
1. Observe when you begin to get angry or hostile with someone. Ask yourself, “Is this
effective?”
2. Observe yourself when you start wanting to be “right” instead of effective. Give up being “right” and switch to trying to be effective.
3. Notice willfulness in yourself. Ask yourself, “Is this effective?”
4. Drop willfulness, and practice acting effectively instead. Notice the difference.
5. When feeling angry or hostile or like you're about to do something ineffective, practice willing hands.
6. Other:


Handouts for Other Perspectives
on Mindfulness Skills


67
From DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition  by Marsha M. Linehan. Copyright 2015 by Marsha M. Linehan. Permission
to photocopy this handout is granted to purchasers of this book for personal use only (see copyright page for details).Mindfulness Handout 6   (Mindfulness Worksheets 6–10b)
overview:
other p erspectives on m indfulness
minDfulne SS pracTice:
a Spiritual p erspective
Skillful m ean S:
Taking hold of your everyday life by
balancing Doing m ind and Being m ind
WiSe minD:
Walking the m iddle p ath


68
From DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition  by Marsha M. Linehan. Copyright 2015 by Marsha M. Linehan. Permission
to photocopy this handout is granted to purchasers of this book for personal use only (see copyright page for details).Mindfulness Handout 7   (Mindfulness Worksheet 1)
Goals of m indfulness p ractice:
a Spiritual perspective
To e xperience:
Ultimate reality as it is which leads to a sense of inner spaciousness and awareness of
intimate wholeness with the entire universe, the transcendence of boundaries, and the ground of our being.
Other:
To Gro W in Wi SDom:
Of the heart and of action.
Other:
To e xperience f reeD om:
By letting go of attachments to the demands of your own desires, cravings, and intense emotions, and radically accepting reality as it is.
Other:
To increa Se love an D compa SSion:
Toward yourself.
Toward others.
Other:
other:


69
From DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition  by Marsha M. Linehan. Copyright 2015 by Marsha M. Linehan. Permission
to photocopy this handout is granted to purchasers of this book for personal use only (see copyright page for details).Mindfulness Handout 7a
Wise m ind from a Spiritual p erspective
Wise Mind as . . .
contemplative practice
Mindfulness
Meditation
Contemplative prayer
Contemplative action
Centering prayerThoughts, attitudes, and actions designed to
help us express or experience connection to:
••The sacred, the divine within,
the transcendent.
••God, the Great Spirit, the Absolute,
Elohim, the nameless one, Brahma, Allah,
Parvardigar.
••Ultimate reality, the totality, the source, our essential nature, our true self, the core of
our being, the ground of being.
••No self, emptiness.
Wise m ind experience
from a spiritual perspectiveExperience where a deeper layer of
reality rises to consciousness. A reality
that has always been there but has been
misperceived. An experience of expansion of consciousness; the experience of unity and oneness within the sacred.
Wise m ind
from the perspective of mysticism
(seven characteristics
of mystical experiences)
 1. Direct experience:  Experience without
words of ultimate reality.
2. experience of unity:  Awareness of
oneness and of no distance between
oneself, reality, and all other beings.
3. Without words: Experience of reality
that cannot be grasped and can only be described with metaphors and stories.


that cannot be grasped and can only be described with metaphors and stories.
4. certain:  During the experience, certainty
of the experience is total, undeniable, clear.
5. practical:  Experience that is concretely
beneficial to one’s life and well-being.
6. integrative:  Experience that establishes
harmony of love, compassion, mercy,
kindness; quieting of extreme emotions.
7. Sapiential:  Experience that leads to
wisdom, enhances capacity for intuitive
knowledge.


70
From DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition  by Marsha M. Linehan. Copyright 2015 by Marsha M. Linehan. Permission
to photocopy this handout is granted to purchasers of this book for personal use only (see copyright page for details).Mindfulness Handout 8   (Mindfulness Worksheet 6)
practicing l oving k indness to increase
love and compassion
Wha T iS l ovin G kinDneSS?
Loving kindness is a mindfulness practice designed to increase love and compas -
sion first for ourselves and then for our loved ones, for friends, for those we are
angry with, for difficult people, for enemies, and then for all beings.
Loving kindness can protect us from developing and holding on to judgmentalness,
ill will, and hostile feelings toward ourselves and others.
prac TicinG  lovinG  kinDneSS
practicing loving kindness is like saying a prayer for yourself or someone
else.  As when you are asking or praying for something for yourself or others, you
actively send loving and kind wishes, and recite in your mind words and phrases that
express good will toward yourself and others.
lovin G kinDneSS inSTrucTionS
1. Choose a person to send loving kindness toward. Do not  select a person you
do not want to relate to with kindness and compassion. Start with yourself, or, if
this is too difficult, with a person you already love.
2. Sitting, standing, or lying down, begin by breathing slowly and deeply. Opening
the palms of your hands, gently bring the person to mind.
3. Radiate loving kindness by reciting a set of warm wishes, such as “May I be


happy,” “May I be at peace,” “May I be healthy,” “May I be safe,” or another set of positive wishes of your own. Repeat the script slowly, and focus on the meaning of each word as you say it in your mind. (If you have distracting thoughts, just notice them as they come and go and gently bring your mind back to your script.) Continue until you feel yourself immersed in loving
kindness.
4. Gradually work yourself up through loved ones, friends, those you are angry
with, difficult people, enemies, and finally all beings. For example, use a script
such as “May John be happy,” “May John be at peace,” and so on (or “John,
may you be happy,” “May you be at peace,” and so on), as you concentrate on
radiating loving kindness to John.
5. Practice each day, starting with yourself and then moving to others.


71
From DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition  by Marsha M. Linehan. Copyright 2015 by Marsha M. Linehan. Permission
to photocopy this handout is granted to purchasers of this book for personal use only (see copyright page for details).Mindfulness Handout 9   (Mindfulness Worksheets 7–9)
Skillful m eans:
Balancing Doing m ind and Being m ind
Note.  The terms “doing mind,” “being mind,” and “nothing-to-do mind” were first used by Jon Kabat-Zinn in Full Catastrophe Living  (1990, 2013).BEING
MINDDOING
MINDWISE
MIND
Doing Mind Is:
 • Discriminating Mind
 • Ambitious Mind
 • Goal-Oriented
When in doing mind,
you view your thoughts
as facts about the world. Y ou are focused on problem solving and achieving goals.       Being Mind Is:
• Curious Mind
• Nothing-to-Do Mind
• Present-Oriented
When in being mind, you
view your thoughts as sensations of the mind. Y ou are focused on the
uniqueness of each
moment, letting go of focusing on goals.Wise Mind Is:
 • A balance of doing
       and being
 • The middle path
When in Wise Mind, you:
 Use skillful means.
 Let go of having to achieve
 goals—and throw your  entire self into working  toward these same goals.
 Enhance awareness while
 engaging in activities.


72
From DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition  by Marsha M. Linehan. Copyright 2015 by Marsha M. Linehan. Permission
to photocopy this handout is granted to purchasers of this book for personal use only (see copyright page for details).Mindfulness Handout 9a   (Mindfulness Worksheets 7–9) (p. 1 of 2)
ideas for p racticing Balancing
Doing m ind and Being m ind
The mindfulness skills require a lot of practice. The practice ideas below are to help you act
skillfully in everyday life, bringing together doing activities of everyday life with being mind.
1. Wise m ind reading.  To increase your desire for mindfulness, find readings or quotations
that have the effect of making you actually want to practice mindfulness in your everyday
life. Put these quotations at strategic spots in your life (e.g., near the coffee maker), and then while you are waiting for other things, read the inspirational messages.
2. Wise m ind reminders.  Set an alarm at home, at work, or (if possible) on your cell phone or
watch to go off randomly or at set times. Use the alarm as a reminder to be mindful of your current activities. (See www.mindfulnessdc.org/bell/index.html  or a similar Internet site for a
free mindfulness clock to download onto your computer.) Set up automatic text messages or Twitter messages to remind yourself. Write out mindfulness quotations that you like, and
tape them in strategic places where you will see them as reminders to practice mindfulness.
3. Wise m ind in the routine of daily life. Choose one routine activity in your daily life (such


as brushing your teeth, getting dressed, making coffee or tea, working on a task). Make a deliberate effort to bring moment-to-  moment awareness to that activity.
4. “just this one moment” Wise m ind. When you begin to feel overwhelmed or frazzled, say,
“Just this one moment, just this one task,” to remind yourself that your only requirement at
the moment is to do one thing in the moment—wash one dish, take one step, move one set
of muscles. In this moment, let the next moment go until you get there.
(continued on next page )
Note.  Exercises 3 and 4 are from Segal, Z. V., Williams, J. M. G., & Teasdale, J. D. (2013). Mindfulness-based cognitive therapy for depression:
A new approach to preventing relapse (2nd ed.). New York: Guilford Press. Copyright 2013 by The Guilford Press. Adapted by permission. All
other exercises are adapted from Kabat-Zinn, J. (1990). Full catastrophe living: Using the wisdom of your body and mind to face stress, pain,
and illness. New York: Delacorte Press. Copyright 1990 by Jon Kabat-Zinn. Adapted by permission of Random House.


73Mindfulness Handout 9a   (p. 2 of 2)
5. Wise m ind awareness of events. Notice events in your everyday life (both pleasant and
unpleasant), even if they are only very small (such as warm water on your hands when
washing, the taste of something you eat, the feel of wind on your face, the fact that your car
is running out of gas or that you are tired).
6. Wise m ind awareness of what needs to be done. When relaxing after a hard day’s work
or at a break during the day, stay aware of what needs to be done and focus on doing what
is needed.
7. Wise m ind willingness.  Practice willingness to do what is needed when you are asked, or
when you see that something needs to be done. Do what is needed with a balance of being and doing, focusing the mind, immersing yourself in the task.
8. Three-minute W iSe min D: Slowing down “doing mind” in your everyday life
••Bring yourself into the present moment by adopting a “wide-awake” posture, and then, in Wise Mind, ask, “What is my experience right now? What thoughts and images are going through my mind?” Notice them as mental events, as neural firing in your brain. Next ask,
“What are my feelings and sensations in my body?” Notice these as they come into your
awareness. Then say, “OK, this is how it is right now.”
••Settle into Wise Mind and focus your entire attention on your breath as it goes in and
as it goes out, one breath after another. Gather yourself all together, and focus on the


movements of your chest and abdomen, the rise and fall of your breath, moment by moment, breath by breath as best you can. Let your breath become an anchor to bring you into the present moment.
••Once you have gathered yourself to some extent, allow your awareness to expand. As well as being aware of the breath, include also a sense of the body as a whole, your posture, your facial expression, your hands. Follow the breath as if your whole body is breathing. When you are ready, step back into your activities, acting from Wise Mind of
your whole body in the present moment.
9. other Wise m ind practice ideas:


74
From DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition  by Marsha M. Linehan. Copyright 2015 by Marsha M. Linehan. Permission
to photocopy this handout is granted to purchasers of this book for personal use only (see copyright page for details).Mindfulness Handout 10   (Mindfulness Worksheets 10–10b)
Walking the m iddle p ath:
finding the Synthesis between o pposites
reasonable
mindemotion
mind
Both  regulate actions and make decisions based on reason,
and
take into account values and experience even strong emotions as they come and go.
Doing
mindnothing-to-do
mind
Both  do what is needed in the moment (including reviewing the past or planning for the future),
and
experience fully the uniqueness of each moment in the moment.
intense desire
for change
of the momentradical
acceptance
of the moment
Both  allow yourself to have an intense desire to have something else than what is now,
and
be willing to radically accept what you have in your life in the present moment.
Self-  denial Self-  indulgence
Both  practice moderation,
and
satisfy the senses.

           other:


Mindfulness Worksheets
Worksheets for Core
Mindfulness Skills


77
From DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition  by Marsha M. Linehan. Copyright 2015 by Marsha M. Linehan. Permis -
sion to photocopy this worksheet is granted to purchasers of this book for personal use only (see copyright page for details). Purchasers may
download a larger version of this worksheet from www.guilford.com/dbt-
worksheets .Mindfulness WorksHeet 1   (Mindfulness Handouts 1, 7)
pros and c ons of p racticing m indfulness
Due Date:       Name:                   Week Starting:
Make a list of the pros and cons of practicing mindfulness skills.
Make another list of the pros and cons of not  practicing mindfulness skills.
Check the facts to be sure that you are correct in your assessment of advantages and disadvantages.
rate Willingness to p ractice (0 = None; 100 = Very High) Before:     after:
Fill this worksheet out when you are:
••Trying to decide whether to work on becoming more mindful of the moments in your life.
••Feeling willful; saying no to letting go of emotion mind or extreme reasonable mind.
••Resisting observing the present moment, rather than escaping it or trying to control it.
••Resisting giving up your interpretations of others or yourself, rather than just describing.
••Resisting throwing yourself into the flow of the moment; wanting to stand on the outside.
••Feeling threatened whenever you think of letting go of judgments.
••Not in the mood for being effective instead of proving you are right.
When you are filling out this worksheet, think about these questions:
••Is a mindless life in your best interest (i.e., effective), or not in your best interest (i.e., ineffective)?


••Will refusing to go into Wise Mind solve a problem, or make a new problem for you?
••Is observing the moment without reacting to it immediately likely to increase your freedom, or
decrease it?
••Is being attached to your thoughts instead of the facts you can describe useful, or not?
••Is staying judgmental helping you change the things you want to change, or getting in the way?
••Is it more important to be effective, or to be right?
pro SStay m indless, j udgmental, i neffective

                   practice m indfulness

                   con SStay m indless, j udgmental, i neffective

                   practice m indfulness

What did you decide to do?
is this the best decision (in Wise m ind)?
list any and all wise things you did this week.


78
From DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition  by Marsha M. Linehan. Copyright 2015 by Marsha M. Linehan. Permis -
sion to photocopy this worksheet is granted to purchasers of this book for personal use only (see copyright page for details). Purchasers may
download a larger version of this worksheet from www.guilford.com/dbt-
worksheets .Mindfulness WorksHeet 2   (Mindfulness Handouts 2–5c)
mindfulness c ore Skills p ractice
Due Date:       Name:                   Week Starting:
Describe the situations that prompted you to practice mindfulness.
SiTuaTion 1
Situation (who, what, when, where):
Wise Mind
Observe
Describe
Participate
Nonjudgmentally
One-  mindfully
EffectivelyAt left, check the skills you used, and describe your use of them here.
Describe experience of using the skill:
Check if practicing this mindfulness skill has influenced any of the following, even a little bit:
 Reduced suffering  Increased happiness  Increased ability to focus
 Decreased reactivity  Increased wisdom  Increased experiencing the
 present  Increased connection   Increased sense of personal validity
SiTuaTion 2
Situation (who, what, when, where):
Wise Mind
Observe
Describe
Participate
Nonjudgmentally
One-  mindfully
EffectivelyAt left, check the skills you used, and describe your use of them here.
Describe experience of using the skill:


Describe experience of using the skill:
Check if practicing this mindfulness skill has influenced any of the following, even a little bit:
 Reduced suffering  Increased happiness  Increased ability to focus
 Decreased reactivity  Increased wisdom  Increased experiencing the
 present  Increased connection   Increased sense of personal validity
list any and all wise things you did this week.


79
From DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition  by Marsha M. Linehan. Copyright 2015 by Marsha M. Linehan. Permis -
sion to photocopy this worksheet is granted to purchasers of this book for personal use only (see copyright page for details). Purchasers may
download a larger version of this worksheet from www.guilford.com/dbt-
worksheets .Mindfulness Works Heet 2a   (Mindfulness Handouts 2–5c)
mi ndfulness co re Skills pr actice
Due Date:  Name:  Week Starting:
F
or each mindfulness skill, write down what you did during the week, and then rate the quality of
mindfulness you experienced during your practice.
I could not focus my mind
for even 1 second; I was
completely mindless and quit.I was able to focus my
mind somewhat and stay
in the present moment.I became centered in Wise
Mind and was free to let go
and do what was needed.
1  2  3  4 5
Day Wise
min
d

/
 Mindfulness:

/
 Mindfulness:

/
 Mindfulness:
D
ay: ob
serve

/
 Mindfulness:

/
 Mindfulness:

/
 Mindfulness:
D
ay: Describe

/
 Mindfulness:

/
 Mindfulness:

/
 Mindfulness:
D
ay: pa
rticipate

/
 Mindfulness:

/
 Mindfulness:

/
 Mindfulness:
D
ay: no
njudgmentally

/


Mindfulness:
D
ay: no
njudgmentally

/
 Mindfulness:

/
 Mindfulness:

/
 Mindfulness:
D
ay: on
e-
mindfully

/
 Mindfulness:

/
 Mindfulness:

/
 Mindfulness:
D
ay: ef
fectively

/
 Mindfulness:

/
 Mindfulness:

/
 Mindfulness:
li
st any and all wise things you did this week.


80
Mindfulness WorksHeet 2b   (Mindfulness Handouts 2–5c)
mindfulness c ore Skills p ractice
Due Date:       Name:                   Week Starting:
practice each mindfulness skill twice, and describe your experience as follows:
When did you practice this
skill, and what did you do to
practice?What was going on that
prompted practicing
mindfulness (if anything)?how much
time passed
when you
were doing
this skill?rate before/after skill use
conclusions or
questions about this
skills practiceDegree of
focusing
my mind
(0–100)Degree of
being centered
in Wise m ind
(0–100)
Wise Mind: / /
/ /
Observe: / /
/ /
Describe: / /
/ /
Participate: / /
/ /
Nonjudgmentally: / /
/ /
One-  mindfully: / /
/ /
Effectively: / /
/ /
list any and all wise things you did this week:
Note.  Adapted from an unpublished worksheet by Seth Axelrod, with his permission.
From DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition  by Marsha M. Linehan. Copyright 2015 by Marsha M. Linehan. Permission to photocopy this worksheet is granted to purchasers of
this book for personal use only (see copyright page for details). Purchasers may download a larger version of this worksheet from www.guilford.com/dbt-  worksheets .


81Mindfulness WorksHeet 2c   (Mindfulness Handouts 2–5c) (p. 1 of 2)
mindfulness c ore Skills c alendar
Due Date:       Name:                         Week Starting:
check off skills to practice this week:
  Wise Mind   Observing   Describing   Participating   Nonjudgmentally   One-  mindfully   Effectively
While you are practicing skills, stay as aware and mindful as you can. Write it down later.
name(s) of skill(s)how did you
practice the skill?Describe your experience, including body
sensations, emotions, and thoughts while
practicing the skillWhat is your experience now,
after using the skill?
example:  Participating I went to a party and
joined in conversations
with other people.I felt a tight knot in my stomach, shallow breathing, dry mouth,
anxiety that other people would not like me; later I enjoyed the
conversation, smiled, noticed other people around me, and
ended up having a good time. I feel amazed that I managed to do this and felt good about myself. I
am thinking I may be able to do this
again.
monday:
Tuesday:
Wednesday:
(continued on next page )
From DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition  by Marsha M. Linehan. Copyright 2015 by Marsha M. Linehan. Permission to photocopy this worksheet is granted to purchasers of
this book for personal use only (see copyright page for details). Purchasers may download a larger version of this worksheet from www.guilford.com/dbt-  worksheets .


82
name(s) of skill(s)how did you
practice the skill?Describe your experience, including body
sensations, emotions, and thoughts while
practicing the skillWhat is your experience now,
after using the skill?
Thursday:
friday:Saturday:
Sunday:
list any and all wise things you did this week:   Mindfulness WorksHeet 2 c  (p. 2 of 2)


83
From DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition  by Marsha M. Linehan. Copyright 2015 by Marsha M. Linehan. Permis -
sion to photocopy this worksheet is granted to purchasers of this book for personal use only (see copyright page for details). Purchasers may
download a larger version of this worksheet from www.guilford.com/dbt-
worksheets .Mindfulness WorksHeet 3   (Mindfulness Handouts 3, 3a)
Wise m ind p ractice
Due Date:       Name:                   Week Starting:
Wise m ind p ractice e xercise: Check off an exercise each time you do one.
    1. Attended to my breath coming in and out, letting my attention settle into my center.
    2. Imagined being a flake of stone on the lake.
    3. Imagined walking down an inner spiral stairs.
    4. Dropped into the pauses between inhaling and exhaling.
    5. Breathed “wise” in, “mind” out.
    6. Asked Wise Mind a question (breathing in) and listened for the answer (breathing out).
    7. Asked myself, “Is this Wise Mind?”


    8. Other (describe):
    9. Other (describe):
Describe the situation and how you practiced Wise m ind:

How effective was the practice in helping you become centered in your Wise Mind?
Not effective:
I couldn’t do the skill
for even 1 minute. I got
distracted or quit.Somewhat effective:
I was able to practice Wise Mind
and became somewhat centered
in my Wise Mind.Very effective:
I became centered in Wise
Mind, and was free to do
what needed to be done.
1        2        3        4        5
Describe the situation and how you practiced Wise m ind:

How effective was the practice in helping you become centered in your Wise Mind?
Not effective:
I couldn’t do the skill
for even 1 minute. I got
distracted or quit.Somewhat effective:
I was able to practice Wise Mind
and became somewhat centered
in my Wise Mind.Very effective:
I became centered in Wise
Mind, and was free to do
what needed to be done.
1        2        3        4        5
list any and all wise things you did this week:


84
From DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition  by Marsha M. Linehan. Copyright 2015 by Marsha M. Linehan. Permis -
sion to photocopy this worksheet is granted to purchasers of this book for personal use only (see copyright page for details). Purchasers may
download a larger version of this worksheet from www.guilford.com/dbt-
worksheets .Mindfulness WorksHeet 4   (Mindfulness Handouts 4–4c)
mindfulness “What” Skills:
observing, Describing, p articipating
Due Date:       Name:                   Week Starting:
Check off the mindfulness skills you practiced this week. Write out descriptions of two different times
when you practiced a mindfulness skill. Use back of sheet for more examples.
  Observing    Describing    ParticipatingDescribe the situation and how you practiced the skill:

Check if practicing this mindfulness skill has improved any of the following, even a little bit :
  Reduced suffering   Increased happiness   Increased ability to focus
  Decreased reactivity   Increased wisdom   Increased experiencing the present
  Increased connection   Increased sense of personal validity
Describe how the skill helped or did not help you become more mindful:
 Describe the situation and how you practiced the skill:

Check if practicing this mindfulness skill has improved any of the following, even a little bit:
  Reduced suffering   Increased happiness   Increased ability to focus
  Decreased reactivity   Increased wisdom   Increased experiencing the present
  Increased connection   Increased sense of personal validity
Describe how the skill helped or did not help you become more mindful:

list any and all wise things you did this week:


85
From DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition  by Marsha M. Linehan. Copyright 2015 by Marsha M. Linehan. Permis -
sion to photocopy this worksheet is granted to purchasers of this book for personal use only (see copyright page for details). Purchasers may
download a larger version of this worksheet from www.guilford.com/dbt-
worksheets .Mindfulness Worksheet 4a   (Mindfulness Handouts 4–4c)
Observing, Describing, Participating Checklist
Due Date:       Name:                   Week Starting:
C
heck off mindfulness skills that you use when you use them. You can check each skill up to four
times. If you practice a skill more than four times, extend your checks toward the edge of the page,
or use the back of the page if needed.
Practice observing:  Check off an exercise each time you do one.
	 	 	 	  1
.
 W
hat you see:

Watch without following what you see.
	 	 	 	  2.
Sounds:
Sounds around you,

pitch and sound of someone’s
voice,
music.
	 	 	 	  3. S
mells around you:

Aroma of food,

soap,
air as you walk.
	 	 	 	  4
.
 T
he taste of what you eat and the act of eating.
	 	 	 	  5
.
 U


.
 U
rges to do something:

Urge-surf,
notice urge to avoid,

notice where in body urge is.
	 	 	 	  6
.
 B
ody sensations:

Body scan,

sensation of walking,

body touching
something.
	 	 	 	  7
.
 T
houghts coming in and out of your mind:

Imagine your mind as a river,

as a conveyor belt.
	 	 	 	  8
.
 Y
our breath:

Movement of stomach,

sensations of air in and out nose.
	 	 	 	  9
.
 B
y expanding awareness:

To your entire body,

to space around you,

to hugging a tree.
	 	 	 	 10.
 B
y opening the mind:

To each sensation arising, not attaching, letting go of each.
	 	 	 	 11.
 O
ther (describe):

P
ractice describing:  Check off an exercise each time you do one.
	 	 	 	 12.
 W
hat you see outside of your body.
	 	 	 	 13.
 T


T
houghts, feelings, and body sensations inside yourself.
	 	 	 	 14.
 Y
our breathing.
	 	 	 	 15.
 O
ther (describe):

P
ractice participating: Check off an exercise each time you do one.
	 	 	 	 16.
 D
ance to music.
	 	 	 	 17.
 Si
ng along with music you are listening to.
	 	 	 	 18.
 Si
ng in the shower.
	 	 	 	 19.
 Si
ng and dance while watching TV.
	 	 	 	 20.
 Ju
mp out of bed and dance or sing before getting dressed.
	 	 	 	 21.
 G
o to a church that sings and join in the singing.
	 	 	 	 22.
 P
lay karaoke with friends or at a karaoke club or bar.
	 	 	 	 23.
 T
hrow yourself into what another person is saying.
	 	 	 	 24.
 G
o running, riding, skating, walking; become one with the activity.


G
o running, riding, skating, walking; become one with the activity.
	 	 	 	 25.
 P
lay a sport and throw yourself into playing.
	 	 	 	 26.
 B
ecome the count of your breath, becoming only “one” when you count 1, becoming
only “two” when you count 2, and so on.
	 	 	 	 27.
 B
ecome a word as you slowly say the word over and over and over.
	 	 	 	 28.
 T
hrow caution to the wind, and throw yourself into a social or work activity.
	 	 	 	 29.
 O
ther (describe):

L
ist any and all wise things you did this week:


86
Mindfulness Worksheet 4b   (Mindfulness Handouts 4–4c)
Observing, Describing, Participating Calendar
Due Date:       Name:                   Week Starting:
C
heck off at least two skills to practice this week:
Observing
Describing
Participating
While you are practicing skills, stay as aware and mindful as you can. Write it down later.
Name(s) of skill(s)How did you
practice the skill?Describe your experience, including body sensations,
emotions, and thoughts while practicing the skillWhat is your experience
now, after using the skill?
Example:  Observing I took a walk in the park
and observed the trees I encountered.I felt calm, my shoulders relaxed. I felt curiosity toward the trees I was observing, a sense of detachment from my own worries; I thought the leaves of the trees were very green and refreshing.I feel somewhat relaxed; I think I should go for walks more often. I am anxious that next time I might not be able to pay attention to the practice.
Monday:
Tuesday:Wednesday:
(continued on next page )
From DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition  by Marsha M. Linehan. Copyright 2015 by Marsha M. Linehan. Permission to photocopy this worksheet is granted to purchasers of
this book for personal use only (see copyright page for details). Purchasers may download a larger version of this worksheet from www.guilford.com/dbt-
worksheets .


87Name(s) of skill(s)How did you
practice the skill?Describe your experience, including body sensations,
emotions, and thoughts while practicing the skillWhat is your experience
now, after using the skill?
Thursday:
Friday:Saturday:Sunday:
List any and all wise things you did this week:   Mindfulness Worksheet 4B   (p. 2 of 2)


88
From DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition  by Marsha M. Linehan. Copyright 2015 by Marsha M. Linehan. Permis -
sion to photocopy this worksheet is granted to purchasers of this book for personal use only (see copyright page for details). Purchasers may
download a larger version of this worksheet from www.guilford.com/dbt-
worksheets .Mindfulness WorksHeet 5   (Mindfulness Handouts 5–5c)
mindfulness “ how” Skills:
nonjudgmentalness, o ne- mindfulness, e ffectiveness
Due Date:       Name:                   Week Starting:
Check off the mindfulness skills you practiced this week. Write out descriptions of two different times
when you practiced a mindfulness skill. Use back of sheet for more examples.
  Nonjudgmentalness   One-  mindfulness   Effectiveness
Describe the situation and how you practiced the skill:

Check if practicing this mindfulness skill has improved any of the following, even a little bit :
  Reduced suffering   Increased happiness   Increased ability to focus
  Decreased reactivity   Increased wisdom   Increased experiencing the present
  Increased connection   Increased sense of personal validity
Describe how the skill helped or did not help you become more mindful:
 Describe the situation and how you practiced the skill:

Check if practicing this mindfulness skill has improved any of the following, even a little bit :
  Reduced suffering   Increased happiness   Increased ability to focus
  Decreased reactivity   Increased wisdom   Increased experiencing the present
  Increased connection   Increased sense of personal validity
Describe how the skill helped or did not help you become more mindful:

list any and all wise things you did this week:


89
From DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition  by Marsha M. Linehan. Copyright 2015 by Marsha M. Linehan. Permis -
sion to photocopy this worksheet is granted to purchasers of this book for personal use only (see copyright page for details). Purchasers may
download a larger version of this worksheet from www.guilford.com/dbt-
worksheets .Mindfulness WorksHeet 5a   (Mindfulness Handouts 5–5c)
nonjudgmentalness, one-  mindfulness,
 effectiveness c hecklist
Due Date:       Name:                   Week Starting:
practice nonjudgmentalness:  Check off an exercise each time you do one.
     1. Say in your mind, “A judgmental thought arose in my mind.”
     2. Count judgmental thoughts.
     3. Replace judgmental thoughts and statements with nonjudgmental thoughts and
statements.
     4. Observe your judgmental facial expressions, postures, voice tones.
     5. Change judgmental expressions, postures, voice tones.
     6. Stay very concrete and describe your day nonjudgmentally.
     7. Write out a nonjudgmental description of an event that prompted an emotion.


     8. Write out a nonjudgmental blow-by-blow account of a particularly important episode in
your day.
     9. Imagine a person you are angry with. Imagine understanding that person.
    10. When you feel judgmental, practice half-  smiling and/or willing hands.
Describe the situation and how you practiced nonjudgmentalness:

practice one-  mindfulness:  Check off an exercise each time you do one.
    11. Awareness while making tea or coffee.
    12. Awareness while washing the dishes.
    13. Awareness while hand-  washing clothes.
    14. Awareness while cleaning house.
    15. Awareness while taking a slow-  motion bath.
    16. Awareness with meditation.
Describe the situation and how you practiced one-  mindfulness:

practice effectiveness:  Check off an exercise each time you do one.
    17. Give up being right
    18. Drop willfulness


    19. Doing what is effective
Describe the situation and how you practiced effectiveness:

list any and all wise things you did this week:


90
Mindfulness WorksHeet 5b   (Mindfulness Handouts 5–5c)
nonjudgmentalness, o ne- mindfulness, e ffectiveness c alendar
Due Date:       Name:                   Week Starting:
check off at least two skills to practice this week:   Nonjudgmentally   One-  mindfully   Effectively
While you are practicing skills, stay as aware and mindful as you can. Write it down later.
name(s) of
skill(s) how did you practice the skill?Describe your experience, including
body sensations, emotions, and
thoughts while practicing the skillWhat is your experience now,
after using the skill?
example:
One-  mindfullyI dusted my house and focused only on
that task while doing it. I experienced the softness of the cloth on my hands; I felt content I was able to do
something useful; I started to think about all
the other cleaning I needed to do afterward, but I brought my focus back to just doing the
dusting. I remember it felt good my husband
noticed I cleaned up the house; I feel
content I did my practice; I think I could
have practiced better if my mind had drifted away less.
monday:
Tuesday:
Wednesday:
(continued on next page )
From DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition  by Marsha M. Linehan. Copyright 2015 by Marsha M. Linehan. Permission to photocopy this worksheet is granted to purchasers of
this book for personal use only (see copyright page for details). Purchasers may download a larger version of this worksheet from www.guilford.com/dbt-  worksheets .


91name(s) of
skill(s) how did you practice the skill?Describe your experience, including
body sensations, emotions, and
thoughts while practicing the skillWhat is your experience now,
after using the skill?
Thursday:
friday:
Saturday:
Sunday:
list any and all wise things you did this week:   Mindfulness WorksHeet 5 b  (p. 2 of 2)


92
Mindfulness WorksHeet 5c   (Mindfulness Handouts 5–5c)
nonjudgmentalness calendar
Due Date:       Name:                   Week Starting:
Be aware of nonjudgmental thoughts and expressions when they happen. Use the following questions to focus your awareness on the
details of the experience as it is happening. Write it down later.
Did you
practice
observing
judgmental
thoughts?Did you
count
judgmental
thoughts?
if so, how
many?if you replaced a
judgmental thought or
assumption, what was
the judgmental thought
or assumption?What was the
replacement thought
or assumption?if you replaced
judgmental with
nonjudgmental facial
or other physical
expressions, please
describe.Describe any change
after practicing.
example:  Yes 21 My boyfriend is such a jerk
because he should have
remembered to pick me up.He did forget to pick me up! I
wish he had not forgotten to
pick me up. I half-  smiled and unclenched
my fists.
monday:
Tuesday:
Wednesday:
(continued on next page )
From DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition  by Marsha M. Linehan. Copyright 2015 by Marsha M. Linehan. Permission to photocopy this worksheet is granted to purchasers of
this book for personal use only (see copyright page for details). Purchasers may download a larger version of this worksheet from www.guilford.com/dbt-  worksheets .


93Did you
practice
observing
judgmental
thoughts?Did you
count
judgmental
thoughts?
if so, how
many?if you replaced a
judgmental thought or
assumption, what was
the judgmental thought
or assumption?What was the
replacement thought
or assumption?if you replaced
judgmental with
nonjudgmental facial
or other physical
expressions, please
describe.Describe any change
after practicing.
Thursday:
friday:Saturday:Sunday:
list any and all wise things you did this week:   Mindfulness WorksHeet 5 c  (p. 2 of 2)


Worksheets for Other Perspectives
on Mindfulness Skills


97
From DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition  by Marsha M. Linehan. Copyright 2015 by Marsha M. Linehan. Permis -
sion to photocopy this worksheet is granted to purchasers of this book for personal use only (see copyright page for details). Purchasers may
download a larger version of this worksheet from www.guilford.com/dbt-
worksheets .Mindfulness WorksHeet 6   (Mindfulness Handout 8)
loving k indness
Due Date:       Name:                   Week Starting:
Check off the types of loving kindness mindfulness practices you did this week. Write out descrip -
tions of two different times when you practiced loving kindness. Use the back of this worksheet if
more space is needed.
  To myself   To a loved one   To a friend   To someone I was angry with
  To a difficult person   To an enemy   To all beings   Other:
Describe the script you used (i.e., the warm wishes you sent):
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Check if practicing loving kindness has increased any of the following, even a little bit toward this
person:    Feelings of warmth or caring   Love    Compassion
  Feelings of connection   Wisdom   Happiness   Sense of personal validity
Describe how the skill helped or did not help you become more compassionate:

  To myself   To a loved one   To a friend   To someone I was angry with
  To a difficult person   To an enemy   To all beings   Other:
Describe the script you used (i.e., the warm wishes you sent):   Same as above (check if cor -
rect).
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.


1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Check if practicing loving kindness has increased any of the following, even a little bit toward this
person:    Feelings of warmth or caring   Love    Compassion
  Feelings of connection   Wisdom   Happiness   Sense of personal validity
Describe how the skill helped or did not help you become more compassionate:

list any and all wise things you did this week:


98
From DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition  by Marsha M. Linehan. Copyright 2015 by Marsha M. Linehan. Permis -
sion to photocopy this worksheet is granted to purchasers of this book for personal use only (see copyright page for details). Purchasers may
download a larger version of this worksheet from www.guilford.com/dbt-
worksheets .Mindfulness WorksHeet 7   (Mindfulness Handouts 9, 9a)
Balancing Being m ind with Doing m ind
Due Date:       Name:                   Week Starting:
everyday Wise m ind practice: Check off Wise Mind practice exercises each time you do one.
     1. Wrote out and then read an inspirational writing on mindfulness.
     2. Set Wise Mind reminders to remind me to practice mindfulness.
     3. Put written reminders to practice mindfulness in strategic places.
     4. Made a deliberate effort to bring moment-to-  moment awareness to an everyday
activity.
     5. Focused on just “this one moment” when I was overwhelmed, frazzled, or scattered.
     6. Focused awareness on events in my everyday life.
     7. Focused awareness on what needs to be done in my everyday life.


     8. Acted willingly and did what was needed.
     9. Did 3-minute Wise Mind to slow down “doing mind” in my everyday life.
    10. Other (describe):
Describe one or more situations where you balanced being with doing mind:

How effective was the practice in helping you find Wise Mind in your everyday life?
Not effective:
I couldn’t do the skill
for even 1 minute. I got
distracted or quit.Somewhat effective:
I was able to practice Wise
Mind and became somewhat
centered in my Wise Mind.Very effective:
I became centered in Wise
Mind, and was free to do
what needed to be done.
1        2        3        4        5
Describe one or more situations where you balanced being with doing mind:

How effective was the practice in helping you find Wise Mind in your everyday life?
Not effective:
I couldn’t do the skill
for even 1 minute. I got
distracted or quit.Somewhat effective:
I was able to practice Wise
Mind and became somewhat
centered in my Wise Mind.Very effective:
I became centered in Wise
Mind, and was free to do
what needed to be done.
1        2        3        4        5
list any and all wise things you did this week:


99Mindfulness WorksHeet 7a   (Mindfulness Handouts 9, 9a)
mindfulness of Being and Doing c alendar
Due Date:       Name:                   Week Starting:
Be aware of a moment when you feel frazzled, overwhelmed, or scattered at the time it is happening. Pay attention to your experience
at that time. Try to bring your focus back to “just this one moment,” not the next moment and not the past moment. Use the following questions to focus your awareness on the details of the experience as it is happening. Write it down later.
What was the
experience?What was the one
activity in just one
moment that you could
bring your attention to?how did your body feel
doing one thing at a
time?Describe your
experience of practicing
the skill.What is your experience
now, after using the
skill?
example:  Feeling
overwhelmed at the number
of dishes I had to wash before
going to bed.Washing just one dish. Arms relaxed, hands felt warm and sudsy, back
relaxed.Relief, “Oh, only one dish,”
tension flowing out.This was not so hard, but what about next time? I’ll
have to practice this.
monday:
Tuesday:
Wednesday:
(continued on next page )
From DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition  by Marsha M. Linehan. Copyright 2015 by Marsha M. Linehan. Permission to photocopy this worksheet is granted to purchasers of
this book for personal use only (see copyright page for details). Purchasers may download a larger version of this worksheet from www.guilford.com/dbt-  worksheets .


100
What was the
experience?What was the one
activity in just one
moment that you could
bring your attention to?how did your body feel
doing one thing at a
time?Describe your
experience of practicing
the skill.What is your experience
now, after using the
skill?
Thursday:
friday:
Saturday:
Sunday:
list any and all wise things you did this week:   Mindfulness WorksHeet 7 a  (p. 2 of 2)


101Mindfulness Works Heet 8   (Mindfulness Handouts 9, 9a)
mi ndfulness of pl easant ev ents ca lendar
Due Date:  Name:  Week Starting:
B
e aware of a pleasant event at the time it is happening. Pay attention to everyday, ordinary events that at the time feel pleasant to you.
Try to experience the moment, even if it is only fleeting. Use the following questions to focus your awareness on the details of the experience
as it is happening. Write it down later.
What was the
experience?What was the one
activity in just one
moment that you could
bring your attention to?ho w did your body feel
during this experience?Describe your emotions
and thoughts while
practicing the skill.What is your experience
now, after using the
skill?
ex ample:  Seeing a bird while
walking around green lake.Yes. Lightness across the face,
aware of shoulders dropping, uplift of corners of mouth.Relief, pleasure, “That’s good,” “How lovely (the bird) sings,” “It’s so nice to be outside.”It was such a small thing but I’m glad I noticed it.
mond
ay:
Tuesday:
Wednesday:
(continued on next page )
From DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition  by Marsha M. Linehan. Copyright 2015 by Marsha M. Linehan. Permission to photocopy this worksheet is granted to purchasers of
this book for personal use only (see copyright page for details). Purchasers may download a larger version of this worksheet from www.guilford.com/dbt-
worksheets .


102
What was the
experience?What was the one
activity in just one
moment that you could
bring your attention to?how did your body feel
during this experience?Describe your emotions
and thoughts while
practicing the skill.What is your experience
now, after using the
skill?
Thursday:
friday:
Saturday:
Sunday:
list any and all wise things you did this week:   Mindfulness WorksHeet 8   (p. 2 of 2)


103Mindfulness WorksHeet 9   (Mindfulness Handouts 9, 9a)
mindfulness of u npleasant e vents c alendar
Due Date:       Name:                   Week Starting:
Be aware of an unpleasant event at the time it is happening. Pay attention to everyday, ordinary events that at the time feel painful or
unpleasant to you. Try to experience the moment, even if it is only fleeting. Use the following questions to focus your awareness on the details of the experience as it is happening. Write it down later.
What was the
experience?Were you aware
of the unpleasant
feelings while
the event was
happening?how did your body feel
during this experience?Describe your emotions
and thoughts while practicing
the skill.What is your experience
now, after using the skill?
example:  My
boyfriend forgot my
birthday.Yes. Tears just behind my eyes, sinking
feeling in stomach, drooping of
face and shoulders, tired.Hurt, sadness, “He doesn’t care
enough to remember me,” “Does he
really love me?” Wanting to go to
sleep until tomorrow.He is a pretty forgetful guy. Maybe I need to remind him a lot.
monday:
Tuesday:
Wednesday:
(continued on next page )
From DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition  by Marsha M. Linehan. Copyright 2015 by Marsha M. Linehan. Permission to photocopy this worksheet is granted to purchasers of
this book for personal use only (see copyright page for details). Purchasers may download a larger version of this worksheet from www.guilford.com/dbt-  worksheets .


104
What was the
experience?Were you aware
of the unpleasant
feelings while
the event was
happening?how did your body feel
during this experience?Describe your emotions
and thoughts while practicing
the skill.What is your experience
now, after using the skill?
Thursday:
friday:
Saturday:
Sunday:
list any and all wise things you did this week:   Mindfulness WorksHeet 9   (p. 2 of 2)


105
From DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition  by Marsha M. Linehan. Copyright 2015 by Marsha M. Linehan. Permis -
sion to photocopy this worksheet is granted to purchasers of this book for personal use only (see copyright page for details). Purchasers may
download a larger version of this worksheet from www.guilford.com/dbt-
worksheets .Mindfulness WorksHeet 10   (Mindfulness Handouts 3, 10)
Walking the m iddle p ath to Wise m ind
Due Date:       Name:                   Week Starting:
Walkin G The mi DDle pa Th: Check off W ISE M IND practice exercises each time you do one.
Worked at balancing:
    1. Reasonable mind with emotion mind to get to Wise Mind.
    2. Doing mind with being mind to get to Wise Mind.
    3. Desire for change of the present moment with radical acceptance to get to Wise Mind.
    4. Self- denial with self-  indulgence to get to Wise Mind.
    5. Other:
Walkin G The mi DDle pa Th: Describe one or more situations where you walked the mid -
dle path, and tell how you did this:

How effective was the practice in helping you walk the middle path?
Not effective:
I couldn’t do the skill
for even 1 minute. I got


I couldn’t do the skill
for even 1 minute. I got
distracted or quit.Somewhat effective:
I was able to practice Wise Mind
and became somewhat centered
in my Wise Mind.Very effective:
I became centered in Wise
Mind, and was free to do
what needed to be done.
1        2        3        4        5
Walkin G The mi DDle pa Th: Describe one or more situations where you walked the mid -
dle path, and tell how you did this:

How effective was the practice in helping you walk the middle path?
Not effective:
I couldn’t do the skill
for even 1 minute. I got
distracted or quit.Somewhat effective:
I was able to practice Wise Mind
and became somewhat centered
in my Wise Mind.Very effective:
I became centered in Wise
Mind, and was free to do
what needed to be done.
1        2        3        4        5
list any and all wise things you did this week:


106
From DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition  by Marsha M. Linehan. Copyright 2015 by Marsha M. Linehan. Permis -
sion to photocopy this worksheet is granted to purchasers of this book for personal use only (see copyright page for details). Purchasers may
download a larger version of this worksheet from www.guilford.com/dbt-
worksheets .Mindfulness WorksHeet 10a   (Mindfulness Handout 10)
analyzing y ourself on the m iddle p ath
Due Date:       Name:                   Week Starting:
1. figure out where you are off the middle path, toward one extreme or the other. For each
of the following Wise Mind dilemmas, put an X on the line that represents where you think you
are most of the time. If you are fairly balanced, put the X in the middle. If you are out of balance,
put the X near the end that you are too extreme on.
reasonable mind emotion mind
Doing mind nothing-to-do mind
intense desire for
change of the momentradical acceptance of
what is
Self-  denial Self-  indulgence
2. choose one dilemma. Describe very specifically what you are doing that is too much, and
then describe what you do too little of.
3. check the facts. Check for interpretations and opinions. Make sure that your list of activities
you do too much of or too little of is in fact accurate. Check your own values in Wise Mind: Be sure to work on your middle path, not someone else’s. Also check for judgments.  Avoid “good,”
“bad,” and judgmental language. Rewrite any items above if needed so that they are factual
and nonjudgmental.


107Mindfulness Worksheet 10b   (Mindfulness Handout 10) (p. 1 of 2)
Walking the Middle Path Calendar
Due Date:       Name:                   Week Starting:
DayDescribe the tension between the:Describe in detail how you managed the tension
between  the pulls of the two sides. Pull to one side Pull to opposite side
Example:  Doing
projects around
the houseDesperately working on lots of projects to renovate my house. Watching TV, eating ice cream, leaving projects needed to sell house undoneI decided to do one small project each day and one medium project each week to improve the house. I also decided to have at least 1 hour each day of not thinking or worrying about the house, and instead doing something pleasant for myself.
Monday:
Tuesday:Wednesday:
(continued on next page )
From DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition  by Marsha M. Linehan. Copyright 2015 by Marsha M. Linehan. Permission to photocopy this worksheet is granted to purchasers of
this book for personal use only (see copyright page for details). Purchasers may download a larger version of this worksheet from www.guilford.com/dbt-
worksheets .


108
DayDescribe the tension between the:Describe in detail how you managed the tension
between the pulls of the two sides. pull to one side pull to opposite side
Thursday:
friday:
Saturday:
Sunday:
list any and all wise things you did this week:   Mindfulness WorksHeet 10 b  (p. 2 of 2)


109inTerPerSonal
eFFecTiVeneSS Skill S
Introduction to Handouts and Worksheets
Interpersonal effectiveness skills help you build new relationships, strengthen cur -
rent ones, and deal with conflict situations. They help you effectively ask for what
you want and say no to unwanted requests. After a few handouts and worksheets
for Goals and Factors That Interfere , three main groups of forms for interpersonal
effectiveness skills are provided in DBT. The first set focuses on Obtaining Objec -
tives Skillfully —that is, how to get what you want from others, while also maintain -
ing your relationships and your self- respect. The second set, Building Relationships
and Ending Destructive Ones , focuses on how to find friends, get them to like you,
and maintain the relationships, as well as on how to end damaging relationships. The third set covers Walking the Middle Path skills, which in this module have to
do with balancing acceptance and change in relationships.
Goals and Factors That Interfere
••Interpersonal Effectiveness Handout 1: Goals of Interpersonal Effectiveness
Skills.  This first handout overviews the goals for each of the three main sections of
this module. The major overall goal is to be effective in getting what you want skill -
fully.
••Interpersonal Effectiveness Worksheet 1: Pros and Cons of Using Interper -
sonal Skills.  Use this worksheet to decide whether to use interpersonal skills instead
of power tactics or giving up and giving in to another person.
••Interpersonal Effectiveness Handout 2: Factors in the Way of Interpersonal
Effectiveness.  Lack of skills is only one factor that may prevent you from being


Effectiveness.  Lack of skills is only one factor that may prevent you from being
effective with other people. This handout is helpful not only early in the module, but later in troubleshooting difficulties with using interpersonal effectiveness skills.


110 •  inTerPerSonal eFF ecTiVeneSS  Skill S
It can then be used with Interpersonal Effectiveness Worksheet 7: Troubleshoot -
ing Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills , and  Interpersonal Effectiveness Worksheet 9:
Troubleshooting: When What You Are Doing Isn’t Working . These two worksheets
cover the same topics, organized in the same sequence as Interpersonal Effectiveness
Handout 2.
••Interpersonal Effectiveness Handout 2a: Myths in the Way of Interpersonal
Effectiveness.  This handout can be useful if thoughts and beliefs get in the way of
using interpersonal skills effectively. Use it with Interpersonal Effectiveness Work -
sheet 2: Challenging Myths in the Way of Interpersonal Effectiveness.
Obtaining Objectives Skillfully
••Interpersonal Effectiveness Handout 3: Overview: Obtaining Objectives
Skillfully.  This handout overviews the skills covered in this section.
••Interpersonal Effectiveness Handout 4: Clarifying Goals in Interpersonal Sit -
uations.  Clarifying your goals is the first and most important interpersonal skill. It
is the essential task of figuring out (1) what you actually want in any given situation
and how important that is, compared to (2) keeping a positive relationship and (3)
keeping your own self- respect. The skills you use depend on the relative importance
of these three goals. Use this handout with Interpersonal Effectiveness Worksheet
3: Figuring Out Goals in Interpersonal Situations . In describing the “Prompting
Event” on this worksheet, remember to use the mindfulness “what” skill of describ -
ing.
••Interpersonal Effectiveness Handout 5: Guidelines for Objectives Effective -


••Interpersonal Effectiveness Handout 5: Guidelines for Objectives Effective -
ness: Getting What You Want (DEAR MAN). This handout describes the skills
for asking for something, saying no to another’s request, and resisting pressure and
maintaining your point of view. The skills are D escribe, Express, Assert, Reinforce;
and (stay) M indful, Appear confident, and N egotiate. You can use the term DEAR
MAN to remember these. Two different worksheets can be used with this handout,
as described next.
••Interpersonal Effectiveness Worksheet 4: Writing Out Interpersonal Effec -
tiveness Scripts. This worksheet is useful for figuring out what to say and do before
practicing DEAR MAN skills. Notice also that the worksheet requires you to first
write down your objectives, relationship, and self- respect goals. This worksheet can
also be used for GIVE and FAST skills (see below).
••Interpersonal Effectiveness Worksheet 5: Tracking Interpersonal Effective -
ness Skills Use. This worksheet can be used to track your use of interpersonal skills. It asks you to figure out and write down your priorities and asks about conflicts in
priorities. Finally, it asks you to record whether or not your objective was met, and
what effect the interaction had on the relationship and your self- respect. This work -
sheet can be used with DEAR MAN, GIVE, and FAST skills.
••Interpersonal Effectiveness Handout 5a: Applying DEAR MAN Skills to a


introduction to Handouts and Worksheets  •  111
Difficult Current Interaction.  This handout gives examples of how to handle situ -
ations where the other person also has very good interpersonal skills and refuses
legitimate requests or keeps asking despite being told no. Use Interpersonal Effec -
tiveness Worksheet 4, 5, or both with this handout (see above).
••Interpersonal Effectiveness Handout 6: Guidelines for Relationship Effective -
ness: Keeping the Relationship (GIVE). Relationship effectiveness skills are aimed
at maintaining or improving your relationship with the other person while you try to get what you want in the interaction. The term GIVE is a way to remember these
skills. It stands for (be) G entle, (act) I nterested, Validate, and (use an) E asy manner.
Use Interpersonal Effectiveness Worksheet 4, 5, or both with this handout.
••Interpersonal Effectiveness Handout 6a: Expanding the V in GIVE: Levels of
Validation.  This handout lists six different ways to validate. (See also Interpersonal
Effectiveness Handouts 17 and 18, described later, for more on validation.) Interper -
sonal Effectiveness Worksheets 4 and 5 can be used with this handout.
••Interpersonal Effectiveness Handout 7: Guidelines for Self-  Respect Effective -
ness: Keeping Respect for Yourself (FAST). Self- respect effectiveness skills help you
to keep or improve your self- respect while you try to get what you want in an inter -
action. The term FAST is a way to remember these skills: (be) F air, (no) A pologies,


Stick to values, and (be) T ruthful. Interpersonal Effectiveness Worksheets 4 and 5
can be used with this handout .
••Interpersonal Effectiveness Handout 8: Evaluating Options for Whether or
How Intensely to Ask for Something or Say No. Before asking for something or
saying no to another, consider how intensely to ask or say no—and whether to ask
or say no at all. This handout lists the factors to consider in making a decision.
Use Interpersonal Effectiveness Worksheet 6: The Dime Game: Figuring Out How
Strongly to Ask or Say No with this handout to figure out your best option in a
particular situation.
••Interpersonal Effectiveness Handout 9: Troubleshooting: When What You
Are Doing Isn’t Working. Difficulty in obtaining an objective can be due to many possible factors. When you can identify the problem, you can often solve it and be
more effective in getting what you want. This handout provides questions for diag -
nosing which factors are reducing your interpersonal effectiveness. Use Interper -
sonal Effectiveness Worksheet 7: Troubleshooting Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills with this handout.
Building Relationships and Ending Destructive Ones
••Interpersonal Effectiveness Handout 10: Overview: Building Relationships
and Ending Destructive Ones.  This handout briefly overviews the skills taught in
this section of the module.
••Interpersonal Effectiveness Handout 11: Finding and Getting People to Like
You. Finding potential friends and getting them to like you often both require an


112 •  inTerPerSonal eFF ecTiVeneSS  Skill S
active effort. The handout summarizes where to look and how to look. Record your
practice efforts for this on Interpersonal Effectiveness Worksheet 8: Finding and
Getting People to Like You.
••Interpersonal Effectiveness Handout 11a: Identifying Skills to Find People
and Get Them to Like You. This is a quick multiple-  choice quiz on the information
in Interpersonal Effectiveness Handout 11.
••Interpersonal Effectiveness Handout 12: Mindfulness of Others. Friendships
are easier to form and last longer when we remember to be mindful of the other per -
son. Notice that the three mindfulness skills described on this handout are the three
core mindfulness “what” skills (observing, describing, and participating) taught in
the Mindfulness module. Use Interpersonal Effectiveness Worksheet 9: Mindfulness
of Others  to record practice of this skill.
••Interpersonal Effectiveness Handout 12a: Identifying Mindfulness of Others.
This is a brief multiple-  choice quiz on the skill of mindfulness of others.
••Interpersonal Effectiveness Handout 13: Ending Relationships. The skills for
ending relationships described on this handout are drawn from the Mindfulness
(Wise Mind), Emotion Regulation (problem solving, coping ahead, opposite action),
and Interpersonal Effectiveness (DEAR MAN, GIVE FAST) skills modules. The one
new skill is practicing safety first when ending abusive or life-  threatening relation -
ships. If you are thinking about ending a relationship, use Interpersonal Effective -
ness Worksheet 10: Ending Relationships to weigh the factors and plan for use of


ness Worksheet 10: Ending Relationships to weigh the factors and plan for use of
these skills. If trying to leave an abusive or dangerous relationship, call a domestic
violence hotline number first (either a local number or the national number listed on the worksheet). Interpersonal Effectiveness Worksheet 1: Pros and Cons of Using
Interpersonal Skills may also be useful with this handout.
••Interpersonal Effectiveness Handout 13a: Identifying How to End Relation -
ships.  This is a brief multiple-  choice quiz on how to end relationships.
Walking the Middle Path
••Interpersonal Effectiveness Handout 14: Overview: Walking the Middle Path.
This handout briefly overviews the skills in this section: dialectics, validation, and
behavior change strategies. These skills help you to effectively manage yourself and
your relationships.
••Interpersonal Effectiveness Handout 15: Dialectics. A dialectical stance is
essential for walking a middle path and for decreasing a sense of isolation, conflict,
and polarities. This handout outlines the basics of a dialectical perspective.
••Interpersonal Effectiveness Handout 16: How to Think and Act Dialectically.
This is an extension of Interpersonal Effectiveness Handout 15 and gives examples
of how to think and act dialectically. There are three worksheets with different for -
mats for recording dialectics practice, described next.


introduction to Handouts and Worksheets • 1 1 3
••Interpersonal Effectiveness Worksheet 11: Practicing Dialectics, Interper -
sonal Effectiveness Worksheet 11a: Dialectics Checklist , and Interpersonal Effec -
tiveness Worksheet 11b: Noticing When You’re Not Dialectical , can be used with
Interpersonal Effectiveness Handout 16. Worksheet 11 provides space for recording
two practices over the week. Worksheet 11a provides for multiple practices of mul -
tiple skills. Worksheet 11b is intended to help raise awareness of opportunities to be
dialectical and of the consequences when not being dialectical.
••Interpersonal Effectiveness Handout 16a: Examples of Opposite Sides That
Can Both Be True. Dialectics tells us that the universe is filled with opposing sides,
and that two things that seem like opposites can both be true. This handout lists
examples of opposites that can both be true.
••Interpersonal Effectiveness Handout 16b: Important Opposites to Balance.
This handout lists opposite aspects of life and living that are important to keep in
balance.
••Interpersonal Effectiveness Handout 16c: Identifying Dialectics. This hand -
out is a brief multiple-  choice quiz. It asks you to check the most dialectical responses.
••Interpersonal Effectiveness Handout 17: Validation. Validation of others’
feelings, beliefs, experiences, and actions is essential in building any relationship of
trust and intimacy. This handout reviews what validation is, what is most important
to validate, and key points to remember about validation.
••Interpersonal Effectiveness Handout 18: A “How To” Guide to Validation.


This handout lists the six levels of validation and gives examples of each. Fill out
Interpersonal Effectiveness Worksheet 12: Validating Others whenever you have an
opportunity to practice validation skills, whether or not you actually practiced the skills .
••Interpersonal Effectiveness Handout 18a: Identifying Validation. This hand -
out is a brief multiple-  choice quiz on validation.
••Interpersonal Effectiveness Handout 19: Recovering from Invalidation. Inval -
idation can be helpful or harmful. Either way, it usually hurts. This handout lists
how to respond effectively when you are invalidated by someone. Fill out Interper -
sonal Effectiveness Worksheet 13: Self-  Validation and Self-  Respect whenever you
have an opportunity to practice self-  validation skills whether or not you actually
practiced them.
••Interpersonal Effectiveness Handout 19a: Identifying Self-  Validation. This is
a brief multiple-  choice quiz on responding to invalidation.
••Interpersonal Effectiveness Handout 20: Strategies for Increasing the Prob -
ability of Desired Behaviors. This handout describes very effective strategies for
increasing behaviors you want in yourself or others: behavior reinforcement and
new behavior shaping. To be effective in changing behaviors, learn these strategies
and put them into action. To record your practice, use Interpersonal Effectiveness Worksheet 14: Changing Behavior with Reinforcement.


114 •  inTerPerSonal eFF ecTiVeneSS  Skill S
••Interpersonal Effectiveness Handout 21: Strategies for Decreasing or Stop -
ping Undesired Behaviors. This handout describes effective strategies for decreasing
or stopping unwanted behaviors—  extinction, satiating, and punishment. To record
your practice, use Interpersonal Effectiveness Worksheet 15: Changing Behavior by
Extinguishing or Punishing It.
••Interpersonal Effectiveness Handout 22: Tips for Using Behavior Change
Strategies Effectively.  Reinforcement, extinction, and punishment each involve dif -
ferent kinds of consequences. This handout outlines important issues in selecting
and implementing consequences.
••Interpersonal Effectiveness Handout 22a: Identifying Effective Behavior
Change Strategies.  This is a brief multiple-  choice quiz on behavior change strategies.


interpersonal
effectiveness Handouts
Handouts for Goals and Factors
That Interfere


117
From DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition  by Marsha M. Linehan. Copyright 2015 by Marsha M. Linehan. Permission
to photocopy this handout is granted to purchasers of this book for personal use only (see copyright page for details). interpersonal effectiveness Handout 1   (I. E. Worksheet 1)
Goals of interpersonal e ffectiveness
Be Skillful in Ge TTinG Wha T you Wan T
anD neeD from oT herS
Get others to do things you would like them to do.
Get others to take your opinions seriously.
Say no to unwanted requests effectively.
Other:
Buil D relaTionShip S
anD en D De STruc Tive o neS
Strengthen current relationships.
Don’t let hurts and problems build up.
Use relationship skills to head off problems.
Repair relationships when needed.
Resolve conflicts before they get overwhelming.
Find and build new relationships.
End hopeless relationships.
Other:
Walk The m iDDle p aTh
Create and maintain balance in relationships.
Balance acceptance and change in relationships.
Other:


118
From DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition  by Marsha M. Linehan. Copyright 2015 by Marsha M. Linehan. Permission
to photocopy this handout is granted to purchasers of this book for personal use only (see copyright page for details).« Interpersonal effect Iv eness Handout 2
F
actors in the Way of Interpersonal Effectiveness
 You Don’t Hav E  tH E  IntEr pEr sonal s kIl ls You nEED
You Don’t kn oW  WHa t You Want
 You have the skills, but can’t decide what you really want from the other person.
 You can’t figure out how to balance your needs versus the other person’s needs:
 Asking for too much versus not asking for anything.
 Saying no to everything versus giving in to everything.
Your Emot Io ns a rE  GEt tInG  In tH E  WaY
 Y
ou have the skills, but emotions (anger, pride, contempt, fear, shame, guilt)
control what you do.
You For G Et Y our lo nG-t Er m Goals Fo r sHo rt-t Er m Goals
 You put your immediate urges and wants ahead of your long-term goals. The
future vanishes from your mind.
otH E r pEo plE  a rE  GEt tInG  In Y our Wa Y
 Y
ou have the skills but other people get in the way.
 Other people are more powerful than you.
 Other people may be threatened or may not like you if you get what you want.


 Other people may not do what you want unless you sacrifice your self-  r
espect, at
least a little.
Your tHo uG Ht s an D  B ElI EFs a rE  GEt tInG  In tH E  WaY
 W
orries about negative consequences if you ask for what you want or say no to
someone’s request get in the way of acting effectively.
 Beliefs that you don’t deserve what you want stop you in your tracks.
 Beliefs that others don’t deserve what they want make you ineffective.