infocom/hints/online-hints/nordbert.olh

Nord & Bert -- On-line Invisiclues
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Warning: It is recognized that the temptation for help may at times be so
exceedingly strong that you might fetch hints prematurely.  Therefore, you 
may at any time during the story type HINTS OFF, and this will disallow the
seeking out of help for the present session of the story.  If you still
want a hint now, indicate HINT.

Go to the Shopping Bizarre:
        Gorilla Warfare:
          1. What do primates like to eat?
          2. OFFER BANANA SPLIT TO APE
          3. What ape?  What banana split?
             [That's all folks!]
        The Moose:
          1. You must whip it, chill it out. 
          2. Type, MOUSSE
             [That's all folks!]
        22 over 7
          1. A famous fraction, a real ratio.
          2. It's called pi. So type, PIE
             [That's all folks!]
        Cereal Murderer
          1. How do you kill a vampire?
          2. In the Meets Aisle is a steak.
          3. Also something for bad breath.
          4. GIVE THE MINTS TO THE VAMPIRE
          5. KILL THE VAMPIRE WITH STAKE
             [That's all folks!]
        Little Girl
          1. Read the ribbon she's wearing.
          2. Type, BRATWURST
             [That's all folks!]
        Principals
          1. Why would THEY be playing hooky?
          2. Because they lack principles?
          3. No!  This STORY lacks principals.
          4. [This space left blank.]
             [That's all folks!]
        The British Aisle
          1. Have you read the sign?
          2. Brits love this sweet & creamy.
          3. PUDDING SECTION
             [That's all folks!]
        The Ants
          1. They could be your relations.
          2. AUNTS
             [That's all folks!]
        Returning Emily
          1. Bratwurst is on no shopping list.
          2. GIVE WORST BRAT TO AUNTS
             [That's all folks!]
        The Flour
          1. A rose is a rose...
          2. FLOWER
             [That's all folks!]
        A Scent
          1. It's afforded by the flower.
          2. CENT
            [That's all folks!]
        Bear Clause
          1. Should you give a bear a hand?
          2. BEAR CLAWS
             [That's all folks!]
        Stationary
          1. Get it write.
          2. Spell it STATIONERY
            [That's all folks!]
        Wall of Quartz
          1. Not so tough, just a half pint.
          2. KNOCK DOWN THE QUARTS
             [That's all folks!]
        Locks
          1. The key to this one is a bit fishy.
          2. LOX
          3. Now, REMOVE THE LOX
             [That's all folks!]
        Door Jamb
          1. Don't be reduced to jelly.
          2. JAM
             [That's all folks!]
        Tacks
          1. The govt. really sticks it to you.
          2. TAX
             [That's all folks!]
        The Sail
          1. This really cheapens everything.
          2. SALE
             [That's all folks!]
        Mussels
          1. You may need to build a better body.
          2. MUSCLES
             [That's all folks!]
        Buy an Item
          1. First, in the Cellar type  SELLER
          2. Also, have a cent and tax.
          3. PUT THE (ITEM) ON SALE
          4. BUY THE (ITEM)
             [That's all folks!]
Play Jacks
   In Jackville
       Traits
          1. What is the Jack of all Traits?
          2. It depends on how you use it.
          3. Don't let it out of your sight!
             [That's all folks!]
       Flipjacks
          1. First, HEAT THE GRIDDLE
          2. Now, MIX THE BATTER
          3. Flipjacks?!  You've flipped!
             [That's all folks!]
       Cottony Fur
          1. Is it a pet peeve of yours?
          2. PULL THE TAIL
             [That's all folks!]
       Coldness
          1. Examine the jack of all traits.
          2. WEAR THE SLEEVES
             [That's all folks!]
       Nose Nipping
          1. He embodies coldness itself.
          2. JACK FROST
             [That's all folks!]
       The Old Man
          1. Can his misery be lightened?
          2. TURN THE CRANK
             [That's all folks!]
       On Frozen Pond
          1. How can you best break the ice?
          2. TURN ON SWITCH
             [That's all folks!]
       The Mermaid
          1. She's freezing to death!
          2. TURN FAUCET
          3. After she's warmed, PULL THE PLUG 
             [That's all folks!]
Buy the Farm
       An Old Dog
          1. The old boy's got a lot to learn
          2. TEACH THE OLD DOG NEW TRICKS
             [That's all folks!]
       Sow's Ear
          1. Hey, make something, 'ear me?
          2. First, FIND A NEEDLE IN A HAYSTACK
          3. TURN SOW'S EAR INTO A SILK PURSE
             [That's all folks!] 
       Mt. Molehill
          1. You have the power of creation.
          2. MAKE A MOUNTAIN OUT OF A MOLEHILL
             [That's all folks!] 
       The Birds
          1. TAKE THE STONE FROM THE DOG
          2. KILL TWO BIRDS WITH ONE STONE
             [That's all folks!] 
       The Wrong Tree
          1. Tried climbing it?
          2. What variety of spruce is it?
          3. You're barking up the wrong tree!
          4. [This space left blank.]
             [That's all folks!] 
       Swords
          1. If you only had a hammer...
          2. HAMMER THE SWORDS INTO PLOWSHARES
             [That's all folks!] 
       Horse + Cart
          1. EXAMINE THE HORSE
          2. LOOK THE GIFT HORSE IN THE MOUTH
          3. LEAD THE HORSE TO WATER
          4. MAKE HIM DRINK
          5. PUT THE CART BEFORE THE HORSE
          6. RIDE CART TO MARKET
             [That's all folks!] 
       Applecart
          1. Don't... No, DO get upset!
          2. UPSET THE APPLECART
             [That's all folks!] 
       Peppers
          1. Do as Peter Piper would.
          2. PICK A PECK OF PICKLED PEPPERS
             [That's all folks!] 
       Pig 4 Sale
          1. First, get the penny from purse.
          2. An old word for bag is poke.
          3. BUY A PIG IN A POKE.  TAKE BAG
          4. Go to the barn holding the bag.
          5. Now, LET THE CAT OUT OF THE BAG
             [That's all folks!] 
       Donkey
          1. First find the tail and needle.
          2. PIN THE TAIL ON THE DONKEY
             [That's all folks!] 
       The Milk
          1. The old dog will first spill it.
          2. DON'T CRY OVER SPILLED MILK
             [That's all folks!] 
       Mousy Grain
          1. (See "Pig 4 Sale.")
             [That's all folks!] 
       Grindstone
          1. It's skin off your nose.
          2. PUT MY NOSE TO THE GRINDSTONE
             [That's all folks!] 
       Side of Barn
          1. Just how accurate are you?
          2. HIT THE BROAD SIDE OF THE BARN
             [That's all folks!] 
       Oats
          1. Perhaps you should get wild.
          2. SOW MY WILD OATS
             [That's all folks!] 
Eat Your Words
       Eyes Have It
          1. LOOK AT WAITRESS WITH JAUNDICED EYE
          2. GIVE THE WAITRESS AN EVIL EYE
             [That's all folks!] 
       Mickey Spleen
          1. You need to air out some anger.
          2. VENT MY SPLEEN UPON THE WAITRESS
             [That's all folks!] 
       Tablecloth
          1. LOOK AT TABLECLOTH
          2. GIVE THE WAITRESS SHORT SHRIFT
             [That's all folks!] 
       Your Table
          1. You may notice it swivels.
          2. TURN THE TABLES ON THE WAITRESS
             [That's all folks!] 
       The Shadows
          1. Shadows are also known as umbrage.
          2. TAKE UMBRAGE WITH THE WAITRESS
             [That's all folks!] 
       Lion's Share
          1. What's a group of lions called?
          2. SWALLOW MY PRIDE
             [That's all folks!] 
       Pie
          1. Eat it, just eat it...
             [That's all folks!] 
       Crow
          1. Eat crow, and it's nitty-gritty.
          2. GET DOWN TO THE NITTY-GRITTY
             [That's all folks!] 
       A Turkey
          1. TALK TURKEY
          2. GO COLD TURKEY
          3. GOBBLE GOBBLE
          4. There's no turkey, turkey!
             [That's all folks!] 
       Rump Roast
          1. Consider an act of humility.
          2. TURN THE OTHER CHEEK
             [That's all folks!] 
       Headband
          1. Examine it.  Made of wool, eh?
          2. PULL THE WOOL OVER HER EYES
             [That's all folks!] 
       Dander
          1. This point should surely be raised.
          2. GET HER DANDER UP
             [That's all folks!] 
       Woodchip
          1. Okay, now just knock it off.
          2. KNOCK THE CHIP OFF HER SHOULDER
             [That's all folks!] 
       A Fortune
          1. BREAK THE COOKIE
          2. Now how should you take the advice?
          3. First, SHAKE SALT SHAKER
          4. TAKE ADVICE WITH A GRAIN OF SALT
             [That's all folks!] 
       Neon Sign
          1. First solve the headband problem...
          2. ... In order to take the sign.
          3. GIVE THE WAITRESS HER COMEUPPANCE
             [That's all folks!] 
       Riot Act
          1. READ WAITRESS THE RIOT ACT
             [That's all folks!] 
       Desserts
          1. You could make them the waitress's.
          2. GIVE WAITRESS HER JUST DESSERTS
             [That's all folks!] 
       Olive Tree
          1. BREAK OFF A BRANCH
          2. OFFER AN OLIVE BRANCH TO WAITRESS
             [That's all folks!] 
       The Coals
          1. The waitress could use a rake-over
          2. RAKE WAITRESS OVER THE COALS
             [That's all folks!] 
       Napkin
          1. Time to make your peace?
          2. WAVE THE WHITE FLAG
             [That's all folks!] 
       Ceiling
          1. There's no ceiling on your anger.
          2. HIT THE CEILING
             [That's all folks!] 
       The Carpet
          1. Consider it the waitress's calling.
          2. CALL THE WAITRESS ONTO THE CARPET
             [That's all folks!] 
       Blood Caper
          1. The blood requires some absorbing.
          2. WIPE UP THE BLOOD WITH THE CAPE
          3. Now, WAVE THE RED CAPE
             [That's all folks!] 
       Pet Peeves
          1. They are both the cook's very own.
          2. GET THE COOK'S GOAT. COOK HIS GOOSE
             [That's all folks!] 
       Can Can
          1. First, read the label.
          2. MAKE A LAUGHING STOCK OUT OF COOK
             [That's all folks!] 
       Frying Pan
          1. Try going from bad to worse?
          2. JUMP FROM FRYING PAN INTO THE FIRE
             [That's all folks!] 
       Own Devices
          1. Might be hoisted on his own petard?
          2. LEAVE THE COOK TO HIS OWN DEVICES
             [That's all folks!] 
       Ox-idental
          1. All depends on whose ox is gored.
          2. First, SHARPEN THE AX
          3. Now, GORE THE OX
             [That's all folks!] 
Act The Part
       Knock Knock
          1. Just answer, WHO'S THERE
          2. If the response is "Wilfred"... 
          3. Just answer, WILFRED WHO
             [That's all folks!]
       Front Bottle
          1. Rather a bottle in front of me...
          2. ... than a frontal lobotomy.
          3. With the knife, GIVE BOB A LOBOTOMY
             [That's all folks!]
       Water Bottle
          1. BLOW UP THE BOTTLE
          2. When Bob leaves the room...
          3. PUT BOTTLE UNDER THE SEAT CUSHION
             [That's all folks!]
       Your Kazoo
          1. It's a real humdinger.
          2. Play "Stairway to Heaven" on it.
          3. No such kazoo is to be found.
             [That's all folks!]
       Cord Gloves
          1. The answer is shockingly simple.
          2. WEAR GLOVES THEN PICK UP THE WIRE
          3. SHAKE HANDS WITH BOB
             [That's all folks!]
       The Fly
          1. What's it doing in Bob's soup?
          2. THE BACKSTROKE
             [That's all folks!]
       Lamp Shade
          1. Are you just after cheap laughs?
          2. Of course! WEAR THE LAMP SHADE
             [That's all folks!]
       Match Stick
          1. LOOK AT BOB   Give you a hot idea?
          2. LIGHT THE MATCH
          3. PUT THE MATCH IN BOB'S SHOE
             [That's all folks!]
       The Sponge
          1. There's more than one sponge here.
          2. Refer to Bob as a sponge.
             [That's all folks!]
Visit The Manor of Speaking
       Old bottle
          1. Find it in the medicine cabinet. 
          2. It's antique, nice for interiors.
          3. PUT THE BOTTLE ON THE MANTEL
          4. Then type, YES
          5. When the Interior asks what you ....
          6. ...want in return for the bottle...
          7. ...type, LOUIS XIV CHAIR
             [That's all folks!]   
       Kremlin
          1. This communist fears insurgency.
          2. First, find the clock and the box.
          3. Wind the clock.  Put it in the box.
          4. CLOSE BOX. GO TO KREMLIN
             [That's all folks!] 
       The Safe
          1. You don't have a leg to stand on.
          2. Try a chair (see Old Bottle hint).
          3. Any kind of key will fit the lock.
          4. UNLOCK THE SAFE WITH THE CLOCK KEY
             [That's all folks!] 
       The Chain Mail
          1. It's not really your size?
          2. Perhaps it's really a chain letter.
          3. P.S. : What chain? What letter?
          4. [This space left blank.]
             [That's all folks!] 
       Revolution
          1. You say you have a rev-o-lu-tion.
          2. Something needs to be set right.
          3. In the Attic, REVOLVE THE ATTIC
             [That's all folks!] 
Shake A Tower
       The Lead House
          1. This'll be a real head scratcher.
          2. type, HEAD LOUSE
             [That's all folks!]
       The Gritty Pearl
          1. A gritty pearl is like a melody.
          2. PRETTY GIRL
             [That's all folks!]
       The Door Girl
          1. "Shine on the door."
          2. DINE ON THE SHORE
             [That's all folks!]
       A Pan of Keys
          1. It's not jolly, round or green.
          2. CAN OF PEAS
             [That's all folks!]
       Gone Swimmin'
          1. "Shake off your toes."
          2. Consider the letters, not sounds.
          3. TAKE OFF YOUR SHOES
             [That's all folks!]
       Child Goose Waist
          1. First, EXAMINE THE GOOSE
          2. It's a LITTLE goose, a child.
          3. GO ON A WILD GOOSE CHASE
          4. Because that's...
          5. ...exactly what you're doing now.
          6. [There is no goose in here.]
             [That's all folks!]
       On The Rocks
          1. Look at the rocks.
          2. Give the peas to the rocks.
          3. Now they're fed rocks.
          4. RED FOX
             [That's all folks!]
       Queer Old Dean
          1. Her Majesty would solve this.
          2. DEAR OLD QUEEN
             [That's all folks!]
       The Leopard
          1. Changes his spots, gets religion.
          2. LOVING SHEPHERD 
             [That's all folks!]
       An Experience
          1. E.G., when Buckwheat's scared.
          2. HAIR-RAISING EXPERIENCE
             [That's all folks!]
       Message on Sand
          1. Shepherd leads between the Rhines.
          2. READ BETWEEN THE LINES
             [That's all folks!]
       The Dishes
          1. You'll notice they're not clean.
          2. Try to be more "dashing".
          3. Should you DASH THE WISHES?
          4. No! There's none around!
          5. [This space left blank!]
             [That's all folks!]
       Rat and Habit
          1. Magic?  Nothing up my sleeve!
          2. PULL THE RABBIT OUT OF THE HAT
             [That's all folks!]
       Bonfire Riddle
          1. Do something while foam burns.
          2. The riddle book is useful here.
          3. Try phrasing "riddle" as a verb.
          4. RIDDLE WHILE FOAM BURNS
             [That's all folks!]
       The Icicle
          1. It must fall first (Bonfire hint).
          2. It is now a well-boiled icicle.
          3. WELL-OILED BICYCLE
             [That's all folks!]
       Elf and Smock
          1. The elf is making "tall smock".
          2. Why not return the favor?
          3. MAKE SMALL TALK WITH THE ELF
          4. There's a lot of you in the elf.
          5. OLD SELF
             [That's all folks!]
       The Jeans
          1. Jack never climbed a jean stalk.
          2. BEAN STALK
             [That's all folks!]
       The Client
          1. His growth potential is big.
          2. CLEAN GIANT
             [That's all folks!]
       Squealing Mare
          1. A mare squeal is low in nutrition.
          2. SQUARE MEAL
          3. You've met the face of hunger.
          4. GIVE THE SQUARE MEAL TO THE GIRL
             [That's all folks!]
       The Crow
          1. A blushing crow never hurt anyone.
          2. CRUSHING BLOW
             [That's all folks!]
       On Cloud 673
          1. Think of the top of your head.
          2. First, wear the hat on the way up.
          3. TAKE OFF THE HAT. GIVE IT TO GIANT
          4. Now make a heavy of the giant.
          5. Type LEAD HOUSE
             [That's all folks!]
       Descend a Cloud
          1. The beets problem is a sleeper.
          2. BED SHEETS
          3. You can tie and still be a winner.
          4. TIE THE SHEETS TOGETHER
          5. CLIMB DOWN THE SHEETS
             [That's all folks!]
       Sewn To Bits
          1. He "sews you to another sheet".
          2. SHOW MYSELF TO ANOTHER SEAT
             [That's all folks!]
       Giant Defeat
          1. It'd be a crushing defeat, too.
          2. TAKE THE BLOW. HIT GIANT WITH IT
             [That's all folks!]
       Return the Pearl
          1. First, have the GRITTY PEARL
          2. Also, MAKE SMALL TALK WITH ELF
          3. Now, RIDE BIKE TO CLEARING
          4. UNLOCK DOOR WITH THE SHINY KEY
             [That's all folks!]
Meet The Mayor
       The Horn
          1. Notice the fraction of laws.
          2. There are 9/10ths of the law.
          3. POSSESSION IS NINE TENTHS OF THE LAW
          4. Or, TAKE POSSESSION OF THE HORN
          5. The Mayor respects boasting.
          6. When he's here, TOOT YOUR OWN HORN
             [That's all folks!]
       Laurel Bush
          1. You might BEAT AROUND THE BUSH
          2. TAKE A LAUREL BRANCE, and only ...
          3. After the Mayor has signed...
          4. You can REST ON MY LAURELS
             [That's all folks!]
       Piece of Cake
          1. Life's a bowl of cherries when ...
          2. You read through all the hints.
             [That's all folks!]
       A Blessing
          1. It must first be concealed.
          2. Retrieve the disguise from inside.
          3. PUT THE BLESSING IN DISGUISE
          4. Now you can take it into the house.
          5. BLESS THE MAYOR
             [That's all folks!]
       Six Pack
          1. You must take it UNDERhandedly.
          2. The document contains pretenses.
          3. TAKE THE BEER UNDER FALSE PRETENSES
             [That's all folks!]
       The Duck
          1. It's a politician whose time is up.
          2. Refer to it as a LAME DUCK
             [That's all folks!]
       A Jar
          1. When is a jar not a jar?
          2. Refer to it as A DOOR
             [That's all folks!]
       The Comb
          1. It's fine teeth won't miss a thing.
          2. SEARCH CLOSET WITH FINE-TOOTH COMB
             [That's all folks!]
       Skeleton
          1. Rid the Mayor of it for good.
          2. FIVE THE SKELETON THE DEEP SIX
             [That's all folks!]
       Dirty Linen
          1. Such corruption needs airing out.
          2. WASH THE DIRTY LINEN IN PUBLIC
             [That's all folks!]
       Bathing Mayor
          1. Dubbed "Baby", he's in the bathwater.
          2. THROW THE BABY OUT WITH THE BATHWATER
             [That's all folks!]
       Mother Decree
          1. after you've won his respect...
          2. GIVE THE DECREE TO THE MAYOR
             [That's all folks!]
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