infocom/compilers/inform5/examples/insulted.inf

! --------------[ Inform Shakespearean Insult Generator v1.0]----------------
! Possibly the most gratiutiously vulgar, flatulent use of Inform yet devised!
! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------
! This routine is based roughly on a "shakespearean insult" scheme posted on
! usenet created by Jerry McGuire (a high school English teacher, no less).
! There are several WWW pages that feature the use of this "algorithm"....
! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------
! Warning: Extremely sloppy code follows! I have to admit, i scarcely have
! any idea what I'm doing. I coded this in Pascal first, and then, largely
! by a semi-painful process of trial and error, transmogrified it into Inform
! code that actually works! It is of course a very silly thing, but perhaps
! some my find it more amusing (for a few minutes) than sawing at their wrists
! with saftey razors that they have frantically and desperately smashed free
! with their shaving mirror.... um... Anyone that has far too little content
! in their Inform adventures, and is looking for more totally vacuous filler
! material, is free to use any of this code they can manage to steal....
! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------
! You'll probably need to use $BUFFER_LENGTH=3000 on commmandline to compile.
! --------------------[ Tim Middleton as544@torfree.net ]--------------------

Switches dsv5x;
Constant DEBUG;

Constant Story "Shakespearean Insult-o-Rondez-Vous-with-Rama^";
Constant Headline "^";

Include "Parser";

Object LibraryMessages "lm"                      ! patch library messages...
      with
        before
        [; Prompt: sh_insult("^What now, ", "> "); rtrue;
        ];

Include "VerbLib";

Global Sh_Ads table "artless" "base-court"       ! table of insult adjectives
              "bawdy"         "bat-fowling"
              "beslubbering"  "beef-witted"      ! number of entries is read
              "bootless"      "beetle-headed"    ! from sh_ads-->0
              "churlish"      "boil-brained"
              "cockered"      "clapper-clawed"
              "clouted"       "clay-brained"
              "craven"        "common-kissing"
              "currish"       "crook-pated"
              "dankish"       "dismal-dreaming"
              "dissembling"   "dizzy-eyed"
              "droning"       "doghearted"
              "errant"        "dread-bolted"
              "fawning"       "earth-vexing"
              "fobbing"       "elf-skinned"
              "froward"       "fat-kidneyed"
              "frothy"        "fen-sucked"
              "gleeking"      "flap-mouthed"
              "goatish"       "fly-bitten"
              "gorbellied"    "folly-fallen"
              "impertinent"   "fool-born"
              "infectious"    "full-gorged"
              "jarring"       "guts-griping"
              "loggerheaded"  "half-faced"
              "lumpish"       "hasty-witted"
              "mammering"     "hedge-born"
              "mangled"       "hell-hated"
              "mewling"       "idle-headed"
              "paunchy"       "ill-breeding"
              "pribbling"     "ill-nurtured"
              "puking"        "knotty-pated"
              "puny"          "milk-livered"
              "quailing"      "motley-minded"
              "rank"          "onion-eyed"
              "reeky"         "plume-plucked"
              "roguish"       "pottle-deep"
              "ruttish"       "pox-marked"
              "saucy"         "reeling-ripe"
              "spleeny"       "rough-hewn"
              "spongy"        "rude-growing"
              "surly"         "rump-fed"
              "tottering"     "shard-borne"
              "unmuzzled"     "sheep-biting"
              "vain"          "spur-galled"
              "venomed"       "swag-bellied"
              "villainous"    "tardy-gaited"
              "warped"        "tickle-brained"
              "wayward"       "toad-spotted"
              "weedy"         "unchin-snouted"
              "yeasty"        "weather-bitten";

Global Sh_Nms table                              ! table of insult names
               "apple-john"
               "baggage"
               "barnacle"
               "bladder"
               "boar-pig"
               "bugbear"
               "bum-bailey"
               "canker-blossom"
               "clack-dish"
               "clotpole"
               "coxcomb"
               "codpiece"
               "death-token"
               "dewberry"
               "flap-dragon"
               "flax-wench"
               "flirt-gill"
               "foot-licker"
               "fustilarian"
               "giglet"
               "gudgeon"
               "haggard"
               "harpy"
               "hedge-pig"
               "horn-beast"
               "hugger-mugger"
               "jolthead"
               "lewdster"
               "lout"
               "maggot-pie"
               "malt-worm"
               "mammet"
               "measle"
               "minnow"
               "miscreant"
               "moldwarp"
               "mumble-news"
               "nut-hook"
               "pigeon-egg"
               "pignut"
               "puttock"
               "pumpion"
               "ratsbane"
               "scut"
               "skainsmate"
               "strumpet"
               "varlot"
               "vassal"
               "whey-face"
               "wagtail";

Global sh_ar -> 0 0 0;                           ! temp array to hold adjs.
                                                 ! note: *3* maximum.
object Room "A Room"                             ! A room to be insulted in.
    with
    description "Not much here...",              ! Doesn't take much to be
    has light;                                   ! insulted. (-:
nearby Chair "chair"                             ! better sit down for this.
    with
    name "chair" "seat" "throne",
    description "Looks sittable!",
    has supporter;                               ! or can be thrown around...

[ sh_dupe_chk an l ret;                          ! filter duplicate insults.
 ret=random(sh_ads-->0);                         ! random adjective to try.
 if (an>0) {                                     ! more than one adj to check?
     for (l=0:l<an:l++) {                        ! loop though picked adjs.
         if (sh_ar ->l == ret) return -1;        ! duplicate found... exit.
     }
 }
 return ret;                                     ! no duplicate, return value.
];

[ sh_insult pre post an y c;                     ! generate insult.
 c = random(3);                                  ! 1 to *3* adjectives.
 for (an=0:an<c:an++) {                          ! loop to pick adjectives.
     do { y=sh_dupe_chk(an) } until (y>-1);      ! loop until adj unique.
     sh_ar ->an = y;                             ! add adj value to tmp array.
 }
 if (pre~=0) print (string) pre;                 ! address the victim!
 for (an=0:an<c:an++) {                          ! loop through picked adjs.
     print (string) sh_ads-->(sh_ar->an), " ";   ! print adjectives, then
 }                                               ! ....
 y = random(sh_nms-->0);                         ! pick the vile sobriquet
 print (string) sh_nms-->(y);                    ! and print it...
 if (post~=0) print (string) post;               ! with post string, if any.
];

[ sh_insSub; sh_insult("Thou ", "!^"); ];        ! for the insult command...
                                                 ! note the space, and ^....
[ Initialise;
 Location = Room;                                ! here we are.
 print "^^";
 style bold;                                     ! bold colour print mode.
 sh_insult("Wherefore art thou, thou ", "?!^");  ! A pet name for Romeo...?
 style roman;                                    ! back to normal printing.
 print "  --Romeo And Juliet, II.ii.35 (paraphrased)^^";
 return 2;                                       ! Don't print game banner
];

Include "Grammar";

verb "insult" "ins" *      -> sh_ins;            ! make a quick insult cmd

! ************************************************************************
!  My humble apologies to all Shakespeare fans and admirers everywhere!!!
!  What would the Immortal Bard say if he could see this!? Shameful!! (-;
! ************************************************************************