| NOTE --- | |
| This is not the shortest way to solve the game. I took some time out | |
| to demonstrate some of the fun you can have with the game. There's plenty | |
| more to do so I urge you to explore and enjoy! - Howard | |
| Start of a transcript of | |
| BOFH | |
| The Bastard Operator from Hell comes to IF. | |
| BOFH is Copyright (c) Simon Travaglia and is used with Permission. | |
| (Visit bofh.ntk.net, www.theregister.co.uk, www.plan9.org for info) | |
| Inform Story File Copyright (c) 2002 by Howard A. Sherman | |
| Type "about" for more story and legal information. | |
| Release 1 / Serial number 020927 / Inform v6.21 Library 6/10 SD | |
| Standard interpreter 1.0 (6F) / Library serial number 991113 | |
| >look | |
| Mission Control | |
| Your office, where you carry out your Bastardly duties, is equipped with the | |
| finest furnishings and equipment necessary to perform your work. As you have an | |
| aversion to cheap kit, your desk is the finest example of office furniture ever | |
| bestowed upon the human race. Sitting atop this monument to furniture is the | |
| single most powerful computer in the company; your personal workstation. Only | |
| two decorations adorn the walls; a Bill Gatus of Borg poster and a daily | |
| calendar. North leads out of Mission Control to other, less important areas | |
| while you spot a very large and serious looking door down the hall just east. | |
| On the desk are an inbox (in which is a note from your boss) and an outbox | |
| (which is empty). | |
| You can see an Armageddon-proof safe (which is closed) and Dave's Toshiba laptop | |
| here. | |
| >read memo | |
| Your boss never ceases to amaze you. You weren't aware that he was capable of | |
| basic writing skills. However, this note is too short to indicate just how far | |
| those skills go. This paper simply says: | |
| "Security admitted a repair technician to the server room this morning. Check | |
| on his progress. Accounting needs their file server back online!" | |
| >look at calendar | |
| This indispensable time-keeping tool of the BOFH is one of those old fashioned | |
| one-day-to-a-page calendars. The page showing is today's date and today's | |
| excuse is "Solar-Flares" | |
| >solar-flares | |
| Yes, "solar-flares" is today's excuse but why is that important now? | |
| >open safe | |
| You open the Armageddon-proof safe, revealing Amsterdam Travel Photos. | |
| >take photos | |
| Taken. | |
| >e | |
| Entrance to Comms And Servers Area | |
| This is a highly secure area to prevent unauthorized access to the sensitive | |
| equipment due east. | |
| The security door is closed and locked. | |
| >unlock door with swipe card | |
| You unlock the steel door. | |
| >open door | |
| You open the steel door. | |
| >e | |
| Comms Room | |
| This small room is where all of the company's communication equipment is housed. | |
| Cat-5 wires surround you with an almost suffocating effect. There may even be | |
| some ancient thickwire back there behind all the 10BaseT. You dare not tamper | |
| with anything for fear of being swallowed alive in this jungle. You feel a cool | |
| rush of air as well as some humming coming from the east while west leads back | |
| to less serious areas. | |
| >s | |
| Comms Room, In the Maze of Kit | |
| This is part of a maze of communications equipment, all alike. | |
| >w | |
| You can't go that way. | |
| >n | |
| Comms Room, In the Maze of Kit | |
| This is part of a maze of communications equipment, all alike. | |
| You can see The Majestic Hammer of Bastarddom here. | |
| >get | |
| (The Majestic Hammer of Bastarddom) | |
| You pick up The Hammer and feel its power coarse through your body...Taken. | |
| [Your score has just gone up by ten points.] | |
| >s | |
| You can't go that way. | |
| >n | |
| You can't go that way. | |
| >e | |
| Comms Room | |
| >w | |
| Entrance to Comms And Servers Area | |
| The security door is open leading into the Comms Room | |
| >e | |
| Comms Room | |
| >e | |
| Server Room | |
| Your server room is several levels above state-of-the-art. Three aisles of | |
| racks are solidly bolted into the concrete floor. Each aisle is approximately | |
| 20 feet long and is populated only by the finest equipment your company's money | |
| can buy. The slowest machine occupying rack space is a Pentium IV 1.6 GhZ | |
| machine with 2GB of RAM. The best machines are reserved, of course, for BRF | |
| Operations [Note1]. Aside from the $5,000,000 or so in equipment in here, you | |
| can't help but notice it's roughly 20 degrees cooler than Mission Control and is | |
| quite a bit noisier as all the cooling fans from all these different servers, | |
| routers, modem racks, etc. are running all at once. Other areas worthy of your | |
| attention lay both east and west. | |
| The tech observes smoke wafting from a server and mutters "That's | |
| interesting..." | |
| >look | |
| Server Room | |
| Your server room is several levels above state-of-the-art. Three aisles of | |
| racks are solidly bolted into the concrete floor. Each aisle is approximately | |
| 20 feet long and is populated only by the finest equipment your company's money | |
| can buy. The slowest machine occupying rack space is a Pentium IV 1.6 GhZ | |
| machine with 2GB of RAM. The best machines are reserved, of course, for BRF | |
| Operations [Note1]. Aside from the $5,000,000 or so in equipment in here, you | |
| can't help but notice it's roughly 20 degrees cooler than Mission Control and is | |
| quite a bit noisier as all the cooling fans from all these different servers, | |
| routers, modem racks, etc. are running all at once. Other areas worthy of your | |
| attention lay both east and west. | |
| The tech jabs the power supply of a server with his screwdriver which causes the | |
| lights to dim as the server makes a very loud BANG! | |
| >look | |
| Server Room | |
| Your server room is several levels above state-of-the-art. Three aisles of | |
| racks are solidly bolted into the concrete floor. Each aisle is approximately | |
| 20 feet long and is populated only by the finest equipment your company's money | |
| can buy. The slowest machine occupying rack space is a Pentium IV 1.6 GhZ | |
| machine with 2GB of RAM. The best machines are reserved, of course, for BRF | |
| Operations [Note1]. Aside from the $5,000,000 or so in equipment in here, you | |
| can't help but notice it's roughly 20 degrees cooler than Mission Control and is | |
| quite a bit noisier as all the cooling fans from all these different servers, | |
| routers, modem racks, etc. are running all at once. Other areas worthy of your | |
| attention lay both east and west. | |
| The engineer dreams outloud about becoming an MCSE. | |
| >look | |
| Server Room | |
| Your server room is several levels above state-of-the-art. Three aisles of | |
| racks are solidly bolted into the concrete floor. Each aisle is approximately | |
| 20 feet long and is populated only by the finest equipment your company's money | |
| can buy. The slowest machine occupying rack space is a Pentium IV 1.6 GhZ | |
| machine with 2GB of RAM. The best machines are reserved, of course, for BRF | |
| Operations [Note1]. Aside from the $5,000,000 or so in equipment in here, you | |
| can't help but notice it's roughly 20 degrees cooler than Mission Control and is | |
| quite a bit noisier as all the cooling fans from all these different servers, | |
| routers, modem racks, etc. are running all at once. Other areas worthy of your | |
| attention lay both east and west. | |
| The tech observes smoke wafting from a server and mutters "That's | |
| interesting..." | |
| >look | |
| Server Room | |
| Your server room is several levels above state-of-the-art. Three aisles of | |
| racks are solidly bolted into the concrete floor. Each aisle is approximately | |
| 20 feet long and is populated only by the finest equipment your company's money | |
| can buy. The slowest machine occupying rack space is a Pentium IV 1.6 GhZ | |
| machine with 2GB of RAM. The best machines are reserved, of course, for BRF | |
| Operations [Note1]. Aside from the $5,000,000 or so in equipment in here, you | |
| can't help but notice it's roughly 20 degrees cooler than Mission Control and is | |
| quite a bit noisier as all the cooling fans from all these different servers, | |
| routers, modem racks, etc. are running all at once. Other areas worthy of your | |
| attention lay both east and west. | |
| When he thinks nobody is looking, the plonker takes a swig from a small flask he | |
| pulls from a hidden pocket. | |
| >e | |
| Tape Storage | |
| This is the safest, most secure room in the building as it contains all of your | |
| company's computer records starting from the beginning of time. Stacks and piles | |
| of tapes are literally everywhere. Your eyes glaze over this sea of ancient | |
| media. All of this is neccesary since every single transaction of any kind is | |
| backed up, cataloged and stored here. In the event of a fire, an air-tight door | |
| slams shut and a halon system is activated in the comms room, the server room as | |
| well as this room. God help any poor soul that is trapped in this area during a | |
| fire alarm. A single exit, due west, leads back to the server room | |
| >look at tapes | |
| Some of these prehistoric tapes have names such as "OS/2 Backup", "System | |
| Snapshot 1982" and "Best of Porn - The Rusty and Edie Collection" | |
| >w | |
| Server Room | |
| The engineer dreams outloud about becoming an MCSE. | |
| >w | |
| Comms Room | |
| >w | |
| Entrance to Comms And Servers Area | |
| The security door is open leading into the Comms Room | |
| >w | |
| Mission Control | |
| On the desk are an inbox (in which is a note from your boss) and an outbox | |
| (which is empty). | |
| You can see an Armageddon-proof safe (which is empty) and Dave's Toshiba laptop | |
| here. | |
| >n | |
| Corridor to Mission Control | |
| This corridor runs north-south to the Hell Desk [Note2], your boss's office and | |
| other trivial areas while The Parts Store is just east and the Technician's Room | |
| is west. | |
| >e | |
| Parts Store | |
| This is the IT Department's Parts Storage area. Unlabelled cardboard boxes | |
| surround you, full of dated parts of dubious value. Only a skilled technician | |
| could find something in this chaotic filing system. | |
| >w | |
| Corridor to Mission Control | |
| >w | |
| Technician's Room | |
| You can tell this is the room where the company technician works just by the | |
| 1988 calendar featuring a young, scantily clad busty blonde woman hanging on one | |
| wall. The technician, rumored to have been installed with the building, is not | |
| here. In fact he's never here. Ever. | |
| You can see a denim jacket here. | |
| >e | |
| Corridor to Mission Control | |
| >n | |
| Corridor to IT Department | |
| This long corridor continues north and south to the IT Department and Mission | |
| Control. | |
| You can see a Fire Alarm Panel here. | |
| >turn alarm on | |
| A very loud siren roars to life and water sprinklers begin showering water all | |
| over you. In the distance you hear a lot of muffled yelling and a continual | |
| pounding coming from the south. | |
| [Your score has just gone up by ten points.] | |
| >n | |
| Open Plan Area | |
| This large room is filled with cubicles in neat rows. Presumably the people | |
| inside those small work boxes perform necessary company tasks such as supply | |
| requisitions, accounting, staff training, etc. As far as you're concerned these | |
| people serve no purpose at all except to suck up payroll funds that could | |
| otherwise be paid to you. Oddly enough, none of the cubicles are occupied. No | |
| doubt the tennants were scared off by the urine-in-the-water cooler scare. The | |
| cubicle at the end, nearest to the boss's office, belongs to the boss's | |
| secretary. This cubicle is famous for its exquisite view. Of the boss's | |
| secretary. The Boss's office is just east while the Hell Desk is west. A large | |
| copier is against one wall. | |
| Stephen, a co-worker who suffers from intelligence deficiency is here. He looks | |
| a bit stressed. | |
| "You're our network administrator so please tell me why I can't send or receive | |
| any email this morning. It was working fine last night!", he whines. | |
| You get the impression that answering Stephen's question will be time-consuming | |
| and painful. You decide to take care of him as soon as the rest of your | |
| Bastardly duties have been fulfilled. | |
| >e | |
| The Boss's Office | |
| The prevailing philosophy of your boss ("Play it safe.") extended to the heavy | |
| management decision of how to decorate his office; there is absolutely no | |
| distinction or personality here. A bookcase occupies one wall stocked with | |
| nothing but a couple of corporate manuals and an endless number of "For Dummies" | |
| books. Another wall is home to an alochol-stained filing cabinet. A simple | |
| cherrywood desk is here with the boss's laptop sitting on top. | |
| You can see Your Boss here. | |
| >i | |
| You are carrying: | |
| The Majestic Hammer of Bastarddom | |
| Amsterdam Travel Photos | |
| a travel request form | |
| a swipe card | |
| a Cattle Prod | |
| >show form to boss | |
| "You want to go to Las Vegas? For five bloody days? For a MICROSOFT Conference? | |
| Oh come on! You never took their products seriously. What is it you usually | |
| call them? 'Microshaft'? And how about that Bill Gatus of Borg Boardwatch poster | |
| in your so-called office?" | |
| Your boss stops ranting for a moment as he continues to scan the page. His | |
| frown tells you he's not happy with what he sees..."First class on United | |
| Airlines?!?! A deluxe suite at the Venetian?!! No, this smells like a junket to | |
| me. You are not going. No way. No how." | |
| >show pictures to boss | |
| Your boss's head drops and he stares at his Teletubbies desk blotter for a | |
| moment as he contemplates how completely you control his entire existence. "I | |
| suppose you really want to go to that conference in Las Vegas.", he says in a | |
| very small, quiet and defeated tone. He meekly takes your travel request form, | |
| signs it and hands it back to you. | |
| "You're a complete and utter bastard. You know that, don't you?" | |
| [Your score has just gone up by fifteen points.] | |
| >xyzzy | |
| As you mutter the magic word the screen on your boss's laptop suddenly | |
| transforms! Where before was a spreadsheet with a few cells, (already pushing | |
| the limits of your boss's brain capacity) a collection of the hottest, most | |
| erotic pornography ever imagined has appeared! | |
| When your boss notices the interesting change on his laptop his eyes go wide and | |
| a small smile crosses his lips. Unfortunately for him, your CEO chooses that | |
| exact moment to walk in and speak with the boss about something or other. Your | |
| CEO notices the plethora of fascinating sexual images on your boss' laptop and | |
| opens and closes his mouth a few times as he tries to speak but is too shocked | |
| and pissed off to form words. Finally some words come... | |
| "Is this how you spend valuable company time?! Clean out your fucking desk and | |
| hit the street, deadbeat." | |
| [Your score has just gone up by ten points.] | |
| >w | |
| Open Plan Area | |
| Stephen, a co-worker who suffers from intelligence deficiency is here. He looks | |
| a bit stressed. | |
| "You're our network administrator so please tell me why I can't send or receive | |
| any email this morning. It was working fine last night!", he whines. | |
| You get the impression that answering Stephen's question will be time-consuming | |
| and painful. You decide to take care of him as soon as the rest of your | |
| Bastardly duties have been fulfilled. | |
| >w | |
| The Hell Desk | |
| This medium-sized room looks very much like the IT department except there are | |
| just four cubicles which are home to the technical support staff. The | |
| combination of no ventilation, strong body odor, poor shelving and gross | |
| incompetence leaves a heady, almost metallic taste on your tounge. This area | |
| opens up to a larger room just west while a storage room is south. | |
| >s | |
| Storage Room | |
| This non-descript store room is used mostly as an adhoc changing room for | |
| employees that want to don "civilian clothes" when not in the office. A number | |
| of suits - all in as-new condition - line the walls. | |
| You can see a gray locker (which is closed) and a black locker here. | |
| >open black | |
| It seems to be locked. | |
| >look at hammer | |
| This hammer is a lovely example of it's kind with a well-insulated handle for | |
| those quick "re-configure" jobs, a hefty head weight for those quick "unlocking" | |
| jobs and the Boss' name written on it for those "framing" jobs. | |
| >unlock black with hammer | |
| You wield the Majestic Hammer of Bastarddom and feel its power flowing through | |
| you as you start smashing the locker door with The Hammer (WHAM! WHAM! WHAM!). | |
| After several good strong hits, the door to the locker just falls to the floor | |
| dead. | |
| >look | |
| Storage Room | |
| This non-descript store room is used mostly as an adhoc changing room for | |
| employees that want to don "civilian clothes" when not in the office. A number | |
| of suits - all in as-new condition - line the walls. | |
| You can see a battered black locker door, a battered black locker (in which is | |
| The Holy Grail of Employment Contracts) and a gray locker (which is closed) | |
| here. | |
| >take grail | |
| Taken. | |
| [Your score has just gone up by ten points.] | |
| >n | |
| The Hell Desk | |
| >e | |
| Open Plan Area | |
| Stephen, a co-worker who suffers from intelligence deficiency is here. He looks | |
| a bit stressed. | |
| "You're our network administrator so please tell me why I can't send or receive | |
| any email this morning. It was working fine last night!", he whines. | |
| You get the impression that answering Stephen's question will be time-consuming | |
| and painful. You decide to take care of him as soon as the rest of your | |
| Bastardly duties have been fulfilled. | |
| >s | |
| Corridor to IT Department | |
| Your ears are whistle as they are assaulted by the loudest siren yet known in | |
| human history. You can't be sure but you think you hear some muffled yelling | |
| and screaming accompanied by a continual pounding noise somewhere from the | |
| south. | |
| >listen | |
| Your ears are whistling as they are assaulted by the loudest siren yet known in | |
| human history. You can't be sure but you think you hear some muffled yelling | |
| and screaming accompanied by a continual pounding noise somewhere from the | |
| south. | |
| >s | |
| Corridor to Mission Control | |
| >listen | |
| Your ears are whistling as they are assaulted by the loudest siren yet known in | |
| human history. You can't be sure but you think you hear some muffled yelling | |
| and screaming accompanied by a continual pounding noise somewhere from the | |
| south. | |
| >s | |
| Mission Control | |
| On the desk are an inbox (in which is a note from your boss) and an outbox | |
| (which is empty). | |
| You can see an Armageddon-proof safe (which is empty) and Dave's Toshiba laptop | |
| here. | |
| >put travel in outbox | |
| Which do you mean, the approved travel request form or Amsterdam Travel Photos? | |
| >approved | |
| A very-scared looking office menial runs in, grabs the contents of your outbox | |
| and scurries out without a word. | |
| [Your score has just gone up by ten points.] | |
| >put contract in outbox | |
| You hastily fill in your name thus completing the contract before dropping into | |
| your outbox. | |
| Just as the contract lands in the outbox, a frightened office-menial runs in, | |
| grabs the contract and makes for the exit in record time. Given how he always | |
| seems to be so fearful, you search your mind for causes. Oh yes. The time you | |
| electrified the door knob on your office door to keep out undesirables (your | |
| boss, dumb co-workers, etc.). He couldn't talk for a week afterwards. All for | |
| the best, though. He learned his place in the world. | |
| [Your score has just gone up by ten points.] | |
| >score | |
| You have so far scored 75 out of a possible 100, in 61 turns, earning you the | |
| rank of Veteran Bastard. | |
| >e | |
| Entrance to Comms And Servers Area | |
| The security door is closed and locked. | |
| >w | |
| Mission Control | |
| On the desk are an inbox (in which are a travel itinerary and a note from your | |
| boss) and an outbox (which is empty). | |
| You can see an Armageddon-proof safe (which is empty) and Dave's Toshiba laptop | |
| here. | |
| >e | |
| Entrance to Comms And Servers Area | |
| The security door is closed and locked. | |
| >unlock door with card | |
| Because the fire system is activated, your swipe card cannot unlock this door. | |
| >w | |
| Mission Control | |
| On the desk are an inbox (in which are a travel itinerary and a note from your | |
| boss) and an outbox (which is empty). | |
| You can see an Armageddon-proof safe (which is empty) and Dave's Toshiba laptop | |
| here. | |
| >n | |
| Corridor to Mission Control | |
| >n | |
| Corridor to IT Department | |
| Your ears are whistle as they are assaulted by the loudest siren yet known in | |
| human history. You can't be sure but you think you hear some muffled yelling | |
| and screaming accompanied by a continual pounding noise somewhere from the | |
| south. | |
| >turn alarm off | |
| You switch the Fire Alarm Panel off. | |
| >s | |
| Corridor to Mission Control | |
| >s | |
| Mission Control | |
| On the desk are an inbox (in which are a travel itinerary and a note from your | |
| boss) and an outbox (which is empty). | |
| You can see an Armageddon-proof safe (which is empty) and Dave's Toshiba laptop | |
| here. | |
| >e | |
| Entrance to Comms And Servers Area | |
| The security door is closed and locked. | |
| >unlock door with id | |
| You unlock the steel door. | |
| >open door | |
| You open the steel door. | |
| >e | |
| Comms Room | |
| >e | |
| Server Room | |
| You can see The traumitized technician (in whom is a screwdriver) here. | |
| >look at tech | |
| This drooling, moaning shadow of a man is sitting in the corner sucking his | |
| thumb in a puddle of his own urine. In general, the immediate vicinity | |
| surrounding him smells like a porta-pottie after 10 hours of duty at Ozzfest. | |
| You are mildly surprised at the effect the fire systems had on him. You had no | |
| idea that being sprayed with fire-fighting Halon while in a sealed room with a | |
| cut-off oxygen supply combined with a screaming, deafening alarm could have such | |
| an effect on a human. | |
| >w | |
| Comms Room | |
| >w | |
| Entrance to Comms And Servers Area | |
| The security door is open leading into the Comms Room | |
| >w | |
| Mission Control | |
| On the desk are an inbox (in which are a travel itinerary and a note from your | |
| boss) and an outbox (which is empty). | |
| You can see an Armageddon-proof safe (which is empty) and Dave's Toshiba laptop | |
| here. | |
| >n | |
| Corridor to Mission Control | |
| >n | |
| Corridor to IT Department | |
| You can see a Fire Alarm Panel here. | |
| >i | |
| You are carrying: | |
| The Majestic Hammer of Bastarddom | |
| Amsterdam Travel Photos | |
| a swipe card | |
| a Cattle Prod | |
| >s | |
| Corridor to Mission Control | |
| >s | |
| Mission Control | |
| On the desk are an inbox (in which are a travel itinerary and a note from your | |
| boss) and an outbox (which is empty). | |
| You can see an Armageddon-proof safe (which is empty) and Dave's Toshiba laptop | |
| here. | |
| >take itinerary | |
| Taken. | |
| >n | |
| Corridor to Mission Control | |
| >n | |
| Corridor to IT Department | |
| You can see a Fire Alarm Panel here. | |
| >n | |
| Open Plan Area | |
| Stephen, a co-worker who suffers from intelligence deficiency is here. He looks | |
| a bit stressed. | |
| "You're our network administrator so please tell me why I can't send or receive | |
| any email this morning. It was working fine last night!", he whines. | |
| You get the impression that answering Stephen's question will be time-consuming | |
| and painful. You decide to take care of him as soon as the rest of your | |
| Bastardly duties have been fulfilled. | |
| >solar-flares | |
| [Dummy Mode: ON] | |
| "Solar-flares you say? You know, I remember hearing something on the news | |
| about... Hey wait a second... | |
| [Dummy Mode: OFF] | |
| "Do you seriously expect me to believe that I can't get or send email because of | |
| bloody SOLAR FLARES! You bastard! You always do this to people! You terrorize | |
| us, you give us bullshit excuses as a defense for your laziness and we cower | |
| like frightenend animals!! No more I tell you!!" | |
| Not quite believing what you are hearing (that he found his backbone and | |
| actually started using it coupled with his gross lack of respect) you back away | |
| a bit as he comes toward you with hate in his eye and menace in his posture. | |
| You do the only thing you can do; you wield your mighty cattle prod in self | |
| defense and zap Stephen with it! | |
| He tumbles to the ground like a wet sack full of potatoes, his tongue lolling | |
| out of his mouth. You're pretty sure he won't get so uppity with you again. | |
| Just then your CEO approaches you, accompanied by two burly security guards! | |
| The CEO studies Stephen's prone, unconscious body, "Ah, we can see you're very, | |
| er, stressed at the moment. I just finished reading an HR pamphlet about stress | |
| in the workplace. I think it's best you leave for the Las Vegas junket, er | |
| conference your boss told me about early and relax a bit. Perhaps you can visit | |
| a couple of vendors we deal with. You can return to work fresh and | |
| rejuvenated." | |
| And with that the two burly security guards accompany you out of the building to | |
| a waiting limousine that immediately shuttles you off to the airport. Your | |
| escorts guide you directly to the security checkpoint, bid you adieu and tell | |
| you in no uncertain terms that they are NOT looking forward to your return! | |
| Venetian Hotel, Main Lobby | |
| Your neck develops an ache as you crane your head up to take in the breakthaking | |
| frescoes, icons and gold lining the ceiling (perhaps 50 feet up) in this | |
| cavernous lobby. In the dead center of the room is a huge marble fountain with | |
| a beautiful globe through which water trickles. A mammoth hallway is west while | |
| the front desk is directly north while the hotel's exit is south. | |
| [Your score has just gone up by ten points.] | |
| >score | |
| You have so far scored 85 out of a possible 100, in 90 turns, earning you the | |
| rank of Veteran Bastard. | |
| >n | |
| Venetian Hotel, Front Desk | |
| The front desk of the Venetian Hotel is a monument to the guest services | |
| industry. Roughly 250 feet wide, the desk area accomodates ten employees who | |
| are milling about As your reservations are for a suite, you walk past the | |
| "commoners" line and are ready to be served. | |
| You can see a Guest Services Representative here. | |
| >look at representative | |
| This beautiful, young woman has a single mission in life - to make you and every | |
| other guest of The Venetian blissfully happy. You silently wonder at those | |
| possibilities as you study her beautiful brown hair, soft dewey eyes and tight | |
| white silk shirt framed in a colorful vest inspired by the Italian Renaissance | |
| period. According to her nametag, she is called Kim. According to your game | |
| plan, she is called fair game. | |
| >kiss kim | |
| You really are a smooth Bastard for trying that but the front desk is just too | |
| big to allow you close enough. | |
| >give itinerary to kim | |
| "Just a moment sir while I pull up your resevation...." | |
| "Ah here we go. Your boss called ahead and changed your reservation. Apparently | |
| he downgraded you to our standard suite rather than the deluxe. [clickety | |
| click] She hands you your room key, flashes you a pretty smile as she says | |
| "You're in room 14-210. Enjoy your stay at The Venetian!", and with that she | |
| heads off to parts unknown. | |
| You stand at the frontdesk dumbfounded. You cannot believe your boss had the | |
| audacity to tamper with YOUR reservations. There is only one penalty sufficient | |
| for this transgression. As soon as you return to the office you're going to | |
| downgrade his career with the Amsterdam Travel Photos in your safe. First, they | |
| will be widely-distributed to every newspaper in the city, then to every trade | |
| publication on the planet as well as posted to each and every newsgroup and | |
| finally they will also be published on your website "a-holebosses.org" | |
| What's more pressing right now is how are you going to get your reservation | |
| restored to its original, untampered form? | |
| >s | |
| Venetian Hotel, Main Lobby | |
| >w | |
| Venetian Hotel, Grand Hall | |
| As you walk down this long, wide and very tall corridor you cannot help but | |
| wonder who was inspired to construct an area so large and so majestic. | |
| Beautiful works of art adorn the ceilings while gold crest adorns the high walls | |
| which are held up there by Roman columns of great height. The polished imported | |
| Italian marble floor shines almost-blindingly as its brownish-gold cubes capture | |
| and reflect the light hither and yon. The sheer maginificence of this hall has | |
| the power to move even your cold, Bastardly heart. | |
| >e | |
| Venetian Hotel, Main Lobby | |
| >s | |
| Venetian Hotel, Main Entrance | |
| Times Square has the peace and tranquility of a country meadow when compared to | |
| this traffic hub of the Venetian Hotel. Limousines and taxis are continually | |
| arriving and departing while bellboys shuttle the luggage of arriving and | |
| departing guests to and from vehicles of every kind. Occasionally you spot a | |
| valet running at full speed towards the parking garage with a set of keys in his | |
| hand. You spot no less than fifty guests of the Venetian busily about the | |
| business of settling in or moving on. | |
| >n | |
| Venetian Hotel, Main Lobby | |
| >w | |
| Venetian Hotel, Grand Hall | |
| >w | |
| Venetian Hotel, Junction | |
| Your ears prick up as continual jingling, jangling, beeping and whistling fills | |
| yours. A quick glance upwards confirms your suspicions; the casino is directly | |
| ahead to the west while Restaurant Row and the entrance to the Grand Canal shops | |
| branches off to the northeast. As you take in all the sights and sounds your | |
| feet hand you late-breaking news. It seems as if you are walking on pillows. | |
| Actually, you look down and notice the polished marble floor has ended and | |
| plush, deep brown carpeting continues in its place. | |
| >w | |
| Venetian Hotel, Casino | |
| The beeping, booping, dinging and the occasional shouts of "Wheel...of... | |
| Fortune!" from distant slot machines is almost hypnotic. The sound of jingling | |
| coins signalling a payout is encouraging. Cigarette smoke is seen everywhere | |
| wafting towards the ceiling where several black glass globes known as "Eyes in | |
| The Sky" look down upon every visitor. As you study the many gaming tables you | |
| see beautifully dressed women and dapper gentlemen engaged in their favorite | |
| game of chance. Despite the early morning hour, it's quite busy. You can't spot | |
| a free seat anywhere. The casino floor extends out in all directions for as far | |
| as you can see. | |
| >s | |
| Venetian Hotel, Casino (By the Network Center) | |
| The seemingly endless number of slot machines continues here as well three card | |
| poker tables. Beautiful cocktail waitresses wearing very sexy uniforms that | |
| are very low cut in the front as well being very short rocket past you | |
| constantly carrying their full and empty drinks trays. You steal more than an | |
| occasional glance of cleavage here and some tush there before they disappear | |
| into the crowds. | |
| A steel door etched with very serious-looking letters is not completely closed. | |
| You can also see a cocktail waitress here. | |
| >look at waitress | |
| This girl is a stunning example of a Las Vegas beauty with a very full and | |
| promising bustline and a too-short skirt showing the ample goods most skirts are | |
| designed to conceal. Her hair and makeup are composed perfectly despite the | |
| fact that she is in a continual state of motion. Even now, this beauty is | |
| walking at a very fast clip off to deliver drinks to the players. | |
| >look | |
| Venetian Hotel, Casino (By the Network Center) | |
| The seemingly endless number of slot machines continues here as well three card | |
| poker tables. Beautiful cocktail waitresses wearing very sexy uniforms that | |
| are very low cut in the front as well being very short rocket past you | |
| constantly carrying their full and empty drinks trays. You steal more than an | |
| occasional glance of cleavage here and some tush there before they disappear | |
| into the crowds. | |
| A steel door etched with very serious-looking letters is not completely closed. | |
| You can also see a cocktail waitress here. | |
| >look at door | |
| This is a simple metal door with a push-button combination lock built into the | |
| door handle. A large sign simply says | |
| "Network Operations Closet. | |
| Authorized Personnel Only. | |
| DO NOT ENTER" | |
| Shit. Why didn't they just mail you a gold-inlaid invitation? | |
| >e | |
| Venetian Hotel, Network Operations Center | |
| Misson Control is a prehistoric cave with all the trappings in comparison to the | |
| treasure trove here. You are deeply impressed by the neatest displays of | |
| computers, security cameras and related wiring. You feel a tingling in your | |
| pants and awe in your heart as you look upon the Nirvanna of network centers. | |
| You quickly conclude that this must be the nerve center of the entire Venetian. | |
| You are convinced that only a fellow Bastard could run such a proper operation. | |
| A steel door etched with very serious-looking letters is not completely closed. | |
| You can also see a master power switch, a fire alarm switch and a Hotel | |
| Reseervations Server here. | |
| >look at server | |
| This single computer is the key to all guest accomodations at the Venetian. The | |
| keyboard has a small template which reads "Commands: "Cancel" and "Upgrade". | |
| Connected directly to the computer is a smartcard reader. | |
| >turn alarm off | |
| That's already off. | |
| >turn alarm on | |
| As soon as you throw the switch your room all hell breaks loose! Outside this | |
| room you hear the thunder of stampeding gamblers running for the exits! Lots of | |
| shouts and screams can be heard also! You hear the [click] of an electronic lock | |
| and realize the lock on the steel door has received a signal to secure itself, | |
| no doubt due to the fire alarm. | |
| [Your score has just gone up by five points.] | |
| >look | |
| Venetian Hotel, Network Operations Center | |
| Misson Control is a prehistoric cave with all the trappings in comparison to the | |
| treasure trove here. You are deeply impressed by the neatest displays of | |
| computers, security cameras and related wiring. You feel a tingling in your | |
| pants and awe in your heart as you look upon the Nirvanna of network centers. | |
| You quickly conclude that this must be the nerve center of the entire Venetian. | |
| You are convinced that only a fellow Bastard could run such a proper operation. | |
| The Network Operations door is closed. | |
| An extremely loud fire siren can be heard from all directions. It's extreme | |
| volume makes it difficult for you to think. You suspect your ear drums may be | |
| piereced but that doesn't help you stifle your giggling as you realize that | |
| outside this room the entire hotel and everybody in it is totally out-of-control | |
| You can also see a master power switch and a Hotel Reseervations Server here. | |
| >score | |
| You have so far scored 90 out of a possible 100, in 111 turns, earning you the | |
| rank of Heir Apparent to the Throne of the Grand Bastard. | |
| >turn power off | |
| As soon as you throw the switch your room (and the rest of the hotel) is plunged | |
| into darkness. Behind you, the sound of the steel door closing and locking can | |
| be heard. [Note3] Just then a small emergency backup light comes on | |
| illuminating the room dimly. Your mind is filled with images of chaos in the spa | |
| as manicurists slip and ruin fingernails, hairstylists mangling client coifs, | |
| waiters running into chairs and spilling their large platter holding steaming | |
| bowls of soup onto the laps of waiting patrons and a gondola sinking in the | |
| Grand Canal. This is Bastarddom at it's best! | |
| [Your score has just gone up by five points.] | |
| >undo | |
| Venetian Hotel, Network Operations Center | |
| [Previous turn undone.] | |
| >turn alarm off | |
| You switch the fire alarm switch off. | |
| >look | |
| Venetian Hotel, Network Operations Center | |
| Misson Control is a prehistoric cave with all the trappings in comparison to the | |
| treasure trove here. You are deeply impressed by the neatest displays of | |
| computers, security cameras and related wiring. You feel a tingling in your | |
| pants and awe in your heart as you look upon the Nirvanna of network centers. | |
| You quickly conclude that this must be the nerve center of the entire Venetian. | |
| You are convinced that only a fellow Bastard could run such a proper operation. | |
| The Network Operations door is closed. | |
| You can also see a master power switch, a fire alarm switch and a Hotel | |
| Reseervations Server here. | |
| >turn power off | |
| As soon as you throw the switch your room (and the rest of the hotel) is plunged | |
| into darkness. Behind you, the sound of the steel door closing and locking can | |
| be heard. [Note3] Just then a small emergency backup light comes on | |
| illuminating the room dimly. Your mind is filled with images of chaos in the spa | |
| as manicurists slip and ruin fingernails, hairstylists mangling client coifs, | |
| waiters running into chairs and spilling their large platter holding steaming | |
| bowls of soup onto the laps of waiting patrons and a gondola sinking in the | |
| Grand Canal. This is Bastarddom at it's best! | |
| [Your score has just gone up by five points.] | |
| >turn alarm off | |
| That's already off. | |
| >turn alarm on | |
| Ok, ok you made your point. You might get caught if you don't stop! | |
| >listen | |
| You hear nothing unexpected. | |
| >look | |
| Venetian Hotel, Network Operations Center | |
| Misson Control is a prehistoric cave with all the trappings in comparison to the | |
| treasure trove here. You are deeply impressed by the neatest displays of | |
| computers, security cameras and related wiring. You feel a tingling in your | |
| pants and awe in your heart as you look upon the Nirvanna of network centers. | |
| You quickly conclude that this must be the nerve center of the entire Venetian. | |
| You are convinced that only a fellow Bastard could run such a proper operation. | |
| The Network Operations door is closed. | |
| Except for several little green lights you are in total darkness. Outside you | |
| hear a loud commotion and a lot of yelling and screaming! | |
| An extremely loud fire siren can be heard from all directions. It's extreme | |
| volume makes it difficult for you to think. You suspect your ear drums may be | |
| piereced but that doesn't help you stifle your giggling as you realize that | |
| outside this room the entire hotel and everybody in it is totally out-of-control | |
| You can also see a Hotel Reseervations Server here. | |
| >look at server | |
| This single computer is the key to all guest accomodations at the Venetian. The | |
| keyboard has a small template which reads "Commands: "Cancel" and "Upgrade". | |
| Connected directly to the computer is a smartcard reader. | |
| >upgrade | |
| You slide your room key into the card reader and type upgrade on the keyboard. | |
| COMPUTER: Guest reservation changed. Old Room:14-210. New room:14-202" | |
| Having worked your bastardly magic to good effect you have upgraded your room to | |
| one of the best suites in the hotel! | |
| *** You have won *** | |
| In that game you scored 105 out of a possible 100, in 119 turns, earning you the | |
| rank of Heir Apparent to the Throne of the Grand Bastard. | |
| Would you like to RESTART, RESTORE a saved game, UNDO your last move, see some | |
| suggestions for AMUSING things to do or QUIT? | |
| > amusing | |
| Have you tried... | |
| Typing xyzzy in Mission Control and the Boss' office? | |
| Looking at the tapes in the Tape Store? | |
| Looking at the bookcase in the Boss' office? | |
| Taking the pants in Pal Zileri's in the Grand Canal? | |
| Taking Dave's laptop (that's an inside joke Simon asked me to include) | |
| Looking ("look") in the server room a few times? | |
| Typing "MCSE" anywhere? | |
| Would you like to RESTART, RESTORE a saved game, UNDO your last move, see some | |
| suggestions for AMUSING things to do or QUIT? | |
| > script | |
| Please give one of the answers above. | |
| > undo | |
| Venetian Hotel, Network Operations Center | |
| [Previous turn undone.] | |
| >script off | |
| End of transcript. | |
| MORE NOTES -- This walkthru was developed BEFORE I fixed a few bugs and added | |
| some more descriptions. For example, you cannot score 105 out of 100 points | |
| in the final release. :) | |
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